Chapter 24
"I don't know Vera" Joan replied, laying in bed with the younger woman the following morning, both on their sides looking at each other.
"But why it'll be fun, the sun is out, it's a warm day, we're both off work, it's not right in the middle of the city.." she gave back, wanting to go to the fair come festival that she'd heard about, thinking it'd be something fun and nice for them both to do together on their weekend off, something they didn't seem to get very often.
"Things of this nature are something that I don't consider to be fun Vera, they're merely noisy, hot and unpleasant".
Vera rolled her eyes lightly expecting this kind of response from the older woman.
"Have you been to one of them before?".
"No, but that's irrelevant, I've seen pictures of them, heard the noise from miles away" she gave back, thinking back to the last time she'd heard about the carnival in town some years ago, the fuss it created.
"Then come to one with me, let me show you how fun they are, that you can enjoy them, we can enjoy them, let's go together! Please Joan, please can we go, please!" fluttering her blue eyes, pouting softly before these blue eyes turned into big puppy dog eyes.
Brown eyes studied the face close to her, the way her pink lips pouted, the light shining off those big blue eyes, the eyes that seemed to have grown in the last few minutes, the eyes she loved looking into, couldn't not look into.
Joan sighed under the gaze of Vera.
"Ok, but if it's not pleasant then we're not stopping a minute longer" suddenly having Vera closing the gap between them, her arms around Joan's neck in a hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's going to be so much fun!" she squeaked excitedly, smiling widely.
After showering and then getting changed, they ate breakfast and drank coffee in a peaceful silence, both getting into Joan's car and heading to the nearby fair, Vera had suggested this one seen as it had a mix of food and drink stalls, home made things to buy, as well as the usual games to play, rides to go on and various fair food to eat and drink.
Joan's eyes wandered over the lights and sounds before them as she stood at the entrance, Vera at her side.
What on earth have I agreed to here.
All these lights, noises, smells, people.
How is this going to be enjoyable and what's that word.
Fun.
How is this fun exactly, please tell me how?
"Come on Joan" Vera pulling gently on her arm, leading her through the main archway and into the fair, a roll of the eyes from the older woman.
People actually like it here.
Look at them all.
All talking, laughing, making noise.
Children with balloons, running around.
Eyes wandering around her surroundings, landing on the various games lining the walkways.
"Are they actually clean?" she asked out loud to Vera, frowning as she looked closer at them as they walked.
"Huh?" looking where Joan was looking. "Yes they are, they're fine Joan".
"But all these people have their hands on them and how do you know they've washed their hands before touching them?".
Vera stopped walking, which made Joan do the same. "Joan, they're fine".
"Hmm" seemingly unconvinced, her cleanliness need seemingly heightened in the current environment.
"Come on, let me show you how much fun it is here, come on, please?" gently holding Joan's hand.
"Very well, but I'm still not sure the word fun is appropriate".
They'd been walking around the various stalls that were just off to the side of the rides and games, the older woman seemed to find some interest in the home made items that the various vendors were selling, Vera then leading them back to the main body of the fair, the midday sun shining high in the sky, the younger woman babbling with excitement as they made their way to the rides, but only after she'd decided she was hungry and wanted a hotdog, some of the red sauce escaping from the sausage and ending up dribbling onto her chin, much to the distaste of Joan, the older woman insistent that she didn't want to try some thank you very much, all that processed food, no thank you.
"This is going to be so good, are you sure you don't want to come on?!" Vera said her eyes lighting up as she queued for one of the bigger roller coasters, Joan standing outside the line, talking to her.
"No thank you, I'm perfectly happy here, with your...your things" things being the various half eaten sweet treats Vera had bought, adamant that they were nice and she'd not had them in years, hence her buying nearly one of whichever childhood favourites she'd seen, Joan thinking merely of all the E numbers and sugar they contained, and these things flowing through your body as you ate them.
"Joan! Joan!" Vera beamed, waving to her from the carriage she had not long sat it, strapped in and ready to go.
Watching her sat there, so excited, so happy, so bubbly, looking straight at her, Joan couldn't help but crack a smile, a smile that reached her eyes, lightly shaking her head in amusement.
Look at her sat there all excited like a child.
Her face all lit up and happy, smiley.
She's adorable, she really is.
I so enjoy seeing her like this.
Gives me a funny feeling inside.
"But you might like it, you might, why don't you just try a little bit? Only a little bit, please, it's nice" Vera said, not long after coming off another ride, holding the bag of candy floss open for Joan.
Joan screwed her face slightly as she looked at the contents of the bag and then at Vera, who was now hopefully gazing at the older woman.
"Please?" her blue eyes seeming even bigger in the sun, pleading with Joan.
How is that possible for her eyes to be that big, to grow that big.
Gazing straight at me.
Pleading.
The older woman sighed lightly, unable it seemed to resist the deputy before her.
"Ok, ok I'll try it, but only a little bit, and if I don't like it, well then you'll know" pulling a bit of the fluffy substance from the bag, it sticking to her fingers as she studied it, smelt it, felt it, then tentatively put it to her lips, tasting it.
Vera watched her closely, seeing her features soften that bit more as she continued to taste the remaining piece of it in her hand, finishing it all.
"Well, what do you think?" she asked hopefully.
Joan nodded as she considered her answer.
"I have to say Vera, it's not bad at all, not as unpleasant as I thought it would be" seeing the smile spread across the face of her deputy.
"See! I knew you'd like it!" Vera replied, delighted she'd got Joan to try some and that she didn't mind it.
Making their way around the game stalls, Vera suddenly walked ahead, something catching her eye.
"Look Joan look! Look at that giant teddy bear! Oh you could easily do that, you could easily win one! Please Joan, please have a go, you could do it, you could!" She said unable to stand still in front of the taller woman as she spoke, almost like a giddy little girl, her attention torn between the prize and Joan, desperate for the governor to put her out of her misery.
"Would you like a go?" the man behind the stall asked Joan.
Joan considered her answer for a moment, seeing what was involved and weighing up her chances, then looking down at Vera who'd not moved her eyes from her.
I like a challenge.
How hard can it be.
Plus it's not for me.
It's for her.
For Vera.
"Yes ok then, I'll have a go, I have to shoot three of the moving ducks and I can win one of the big teddy bears?" the man nodded confirming that what she said was right.
Picking up the rifle Joan steadied herself hearing the noises of the game starting, the clank of the machine whirring, moving the ducks into her eye line.
With fingers curled around the barrel at the front, one eye closed, her other hand poised on the trigger she began shooting.
One down.
Two down.
Missed.
Three down.
Mission complete.
Not a bad shot even if I do say so myself.
"That's three ducks down, which bear would you like?" he said watching the dark haired woman turn to Vera.
"It's not up to me, it's up to you" Joan said to a delighted Vera who now stood at her side, jumping up and down, pointing to the one she wanted, namely the brown fluffy bear with a pink bow tie, covered in white polka dots. Having the bear handed to her she wrapped both her arms around it, the soft toy almost dwarfing the small woman, making a happy squealing sound on cuddling it to her.
"Thank you Joan, thank you, he's so soft!!" this reaction causing Joan to chuckle, smiling at how happy Vera was, she being the cause of it due to winning her the bear.
"Joan?".
"Yes?".
"I know you don't like the other rides but would you come on the ferris wheel with me, I....I get a bit scared and don't want to go on on my own, but I'd go on with you" smiling up at the older woman, stopping by the queue of people waiting for said ride.
Joan looked up at the wheel and then back down to Vera.
"Yes ok then, let's go on together" feeling ok about going on this particular ride compared to the rest of them.
Taking their places on one of the seats inside the passenger capsule, the attendant closed and clicked the door shut, by which time the wheel started moving, the younger woman letting out a hitching breath in fright, immediately shuffling into Joan's side, wrapping her arms around the older woman.
"It's ok, you've no need to be afraid, I...I'm here" she soothed, mirroring Vera's action and putting her longer arms around her, kissing her hair.
That's the thing.
With her strong arms around me I don't feel afraid.
I feel safe.
Feel protected.
Like nothing or no one can hurt me.
She's my safety.
My protection.
My one.
"I never feel afraid when I'm with you, I feel safe, feel wanted, feel protected" Vera whispered, their eyes together.
Joan smiled at the words. "I'm glad, I'd never let anyone hurt you".
"Just like I'd not with you".
Leaning down Joan cupped Vera's cheek, pressing their lips together, swiping her tongue along Vera's lower lip causing the younger woman to groan and join their tongues together in her hot mouth, her hands moving to Joan's neck, stroking the nape as they kissed, loving hearing the murmurs of enjoyment from Joan.
"You're so beautiful, I'm so lucky, I couldn't imagine not being with you" Vera whispered against her lips, Joan pulling back a little on the feel of wetness against her own cheeks, a tearful Vera looking back at her.
"Hey now, what's this, what's the matter?" concern for the other woman across her features.
"I..I just...just, wouldn't want you to leave me, for me to lose you" sniffing her tears and her lip quivering as she never looked away.
I couldn't bare to lose her, for her to leave me.
She means everything to me.
Everything.
I don't want anyone else but her.
There's no one like her.
No one else I want.
Ever.
I love her.
"Listen to me, listen, that won't happen, I won't leave and you won't lose me" moving her lips to Vera's ear to whisper. "I wouldn't win or want to win giant bears with bow ties on for anyone else" her heart lifting on hearing Vera giggle, sitting back to hold the other woman's face in her hands, a wide smile in place of the once quivering lip.
"That's better, that smile is much better" Joan said, her thumbs soothing against Vera's cheeks, letting go so she could cuddle up with her again.
Getting out of the capsule, Joan allowing Vera out first, passing her the teddy bear and then following out last, she felt the brush of the younger woman's hand against her own, smaller fingers trying to link with hers, with a small smile to herself she joined them, hands linked as they walked back to the car.
"Thank you for a lovely day Vera, I've enjoyed myself" settling back into the driver's seat, Vera next to her, the giant bear taking its place in one of the back seats.
"No thank you Joan, I've had fun myself, it's been nice" grinning happily across at Joan, the older woman allowing herself another few minutes to look at her face before pulling out towards the road, to Vera's house.
"Well, thank you again Joan" unclipping her seat belt, turning to face Joan.
"I didn't....didn't bring you home just to drop you off" watching Vera's frown deepen in confusion at why she'd been brought home.
"I don't understand, why are we here then outside my house if you didn't intend to drop me off?".
Joan unclipped her own belt so she could turn more to face Vera, clenching then unclenching her fists.
Here goes nothing Joan.
"I was thinking maybe....maybe you'd like to pack a few things into....into a bag and...and stay in my house for a night or two, with me if...if you'd like, I understand if you don't or..." her sentence being cut short by a pair of lips being pressed to hers in a soft kiss.
"I'd love to, I'll just go and get some of my things, I won't be long" pecking Joan's lips again, adding. "Don't move I'll be right back".
Quickly getting out of the car and making her way up to her house, letting out a squeal of excitement on moving through the front door, this squeal enticing a chuckle from Joan along with a happy grin.
"I'm not moving Vera, I'm not moving anywhere, only unless you ask me to, and I'm praying to something, anything that you don't, because....because for the first time in my life I'm starting to feel at home" Joan said to herself in the car, watching the figure of her deputy move around the living room of her home then disappear from view upstairs, her eyes glancing into the rear view mirror and train on the bear with the bow tie sat on the back seat, a wide smile spreading over her face, all the way to her eyes.