Smaragdus

“Are you happy, Dannie?” Therese asked quietly as she watched him examine the documents closely. She put her hand on Dannie’s back, and it was only then that he seemed to notice Therese at all.

“Huh?” he asked, glancing absent-mindedly over his thick reading glasses. “Yeah, these are great…” he mumbled, swallowing the rest of the sentence that wasn’t going anywhere anyway. Therese knew he would talk about his work when he was good and ready, but she wished she could have spent some time with him right now. It wasn’t anything special she was after, just a relaxed moment over a cup of tea, shooting the breeze, was all she was hoping for.

Nowadays Therese missed him even when they were in the same apartment, for Dannie was always either immersed in his work or high-strung because he wasn’t. He had changed over the years, although the frolicsome boy she had gotten to know still managed to delight her on occasion. Dannie was the same age as Therese, 27, yet he looked older even though he rarely acted his age. Something in him had ceased to grow, to spread new tendrils out to the world, as if whatever he had inside had stubbornly decided to remain lodged in. For Therese, it was a terrifying sight to witness, and most of the time she had to look away. At times she could see it gnaw at him like a greedy tumor that ravaged his body and thinned his winning smile into a mere wince.  

Theirs had never been a romantic relationship, and their marriage was a sham, another elaborate fabrication designed to serve Madame’s purposes. Yet there was real love between the two of them, the love of two people who had no one else to trust or to turn to. Therese loved Dannie as fiercely as any sister could ever love her brother, and even though she could feel him drifting further apart from her, she knew he reciprocated her feelings fully.

Eight years ago

“Therese, I’d like you to meet Daniel,” Karen introduced them one Friday afternoon when Therese had returned from her appointment with her probation officer. A baby-faced guy with a brown, curly hair grinned at Therese with no apparent reason, which she found irritating at first. When it became obvious that Karen meant to leave her alone with him, Therese was even more annoyed. She had hoped to spend the rest of her day in bed – with Karen. “Now, children, play nice,” Karen said, making her exit shortly after.

“You sleeping with her or what?” he blurted out, noticing the weird look on Therese’s face. “Did I spoil a heated tumble in the sheets? She doesn’t look like the type that likes to get her hair mussed up.”

Therese wasn’t sure if it was his surprisingly accurate guess that blew her away or the thick Brooklyn accent he said it in, but all of a sudden she burst out in giggles. “And what if you did!” she laughed, inexplicably relieved. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere – or she, for that matter.” Therese grinned at him gleefully. “But what on earth has brought you here, dear Daniel?” She fancied him already.

“Edgecombe Correctional Facility,” he informed promptly, “and it’s Dannie, not Daniel.” His round, funny mug appealed to Therese, and he seemed to take an instant liking to her as well. “Can we get something to eat? I’d kill for some steak and eggs…” Realizing what he had just said, Dannie cast a worried look at Therese. “Not that I am a killer or anything.”

Chuckling at his misplaced insecurity, Therese linked her arm through his and started pulling him down the street. “Come on, you silly, I know just the place for us.”  

Dannie was still enmeshed in his work when Therese retired to the bedroom. Lying on her back, she watched the streaks of light chase one another on the ceiling. It was never completely dark in that particular room, and she liked it better than many others they had shared before. Normally she didn’t mind the pristine darkness, for it allowed her to do her work in peace and quiet, but when it was time to sleep she found it smothering. It seemed to come too near, to dissolve the line between her eyes and the night as if a heavy cloak of velvet had been forced upon her face. Here it never happened, the vibrant city a soothing kaleidoscope above her head.

Therese reached for the crystal angel she had waiting on the nightstand and turned it around in her hands. It looked smaller and somehow solitary, she thought, pressing its sculpted edges against her soft palms. Without giving it another thought, she slid the angel inside her nightgown just above her waist and turned on her stomach. When the sleep finally diffused her mind, the last thing she imagined were its wings riddling her skin.    

Carol had to take a day off because of a sudden change in Harge’s condition. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just something that happened every once in a while – a common cold making it hard for him to breathe, which was already difficult for a man who had to resort to wearing an oxygen moustache as a rule. Abby had tried to convince her that she would have everything under control, but seeing her struggle with Harge had made Carol decide otherwise.

Carol liked Abby, there was no doubt about it in her mind. When she had placed an ad in the newspaper looking for professional help, Abby had been one of the first to offer her services. Interviewing prospective candidates, Carol had been stunned to find out how preposterously expensive Harge’s care would become. When Abby had come in to talk about the work, Carol had all but given up hope in finding someone to look after him.

Miss Abigail Gerhard, ‘a spinster of her own volition’ as she had playfully introduced herself, had made an agreeable impression on Carol instantaneously. She was an easygoing woman who shared Carol’s views on making Harge’s life as homey and laid-back as possible. When Carol had brought up the question of money, she had been prepared to let her go just like all the others before her. To her great surprise, what Abby was asking for wasn’t excessive at all, quite the contrary. Carol had to repeat her inquiry twice to really believe she had heard her correctly the first time.

“Are you sure this is what you want for all the work it will entail?” Carol had needed to ascertain. “I don’t want us to get started under any misconception on my part.” She must have somehow misunderstood her salary demand.

“I’m quite sure,” Abby had replied, smiling generously. “I am aware that what I am asking for is somewhat below the average, but then again money has never been the deciding factor for me,” she had specified. “I take my vocation seriously and I take pride in it. I enjoy a challenge, and I’m at my best when I feel comfortable with the people I work with.” Carol had found her sincerity so touching, she had hired her on the spot.

“You should go to work, Carol, I’m more than capable of handling this on my own,” Abby said when they had successfully drained Harge’s sinuses.

“I can use a day-off, to tell you the truth,” Carol confided in her. “I’ve put in so many extra hours, I feel no guilt whatsoever being here with you two.” She circled her arm around Abby’s waist and squeezed her gently. “Besides, my not being there will give my staff a welcome break,” she snorted. “I’m certain I’ve exhausted them many times over.”

Abby placed her hand over Carol’s arm. “Who wouldn’t want to be exhausted by you?” she asked, and even though her words were laced with clear innuendo, the way she said it was tender and kind.

How did it all happen? Carol mused, watching Abby clean the nasal tube in the sink. How did I let it begin? It had been the day after Rindy and Jon’s visit, the two of them sitting at the kitchen table and talking about how radiantly happy the newlyweds had appeared to be. Abby had never met Rindy before, yet she had made such keen observations of her sunny character, of how attentive Jon had been to her all the time they had spent together.

Sometimes it’s all that it takes for two lonely people to come together, Carol had thought afterwards. Although she didn’t know an awful lot about Abby’s life, she suspected her to be lonesome, too, or at least living an awkward, isolated life somewhere in the city. They had borrowed the affection so palpable between Rindy and Jon, and made it their own for a fleeting moment. It wasn’t theirs to have, and Carol had known it even then, but it had been enough to kindle a passion that had carried over several months.

Then it had subsided, for Carol. Her interest had flagged toward the end of the first year of Abby’s employment. She had done a pretty good job hiding it, she thought, although the sex hadn't been as frequent as before. Nowadays it was sporadic at best, brought about by Carol’s feelings of emptiness or by mere physical urges. Guilt had a lot to do with it as well, and gratitude she felt toward Abby.

As she fell more and more back in her payments, in coming up with Abby’s full salary each month, she found herself making up for it with sex. Carol had become conscious of it only after Therese had joined the museum staff, and the crass epiphany filled her with dread. She tried to put it out of her mind, but every time she touched Abby, she was overcome by the image of the young woman looking at her, scrutinizing her. If she knew what I’m like, she wouldn’t have anything to do with me, spun around in Carol’s head.

When Carol left for work the next morning, Abby was still asleep in her bed. It was far too early to wake her up, let alone commute to the city, but she wanted a head start after having been away from the museum for one whole day.

Entering the building, she greeted Bob, the security guard on duty. “You an insomniac, Mrs. Aird, or what on earth are you doing here at this ungodly hour?” he asked cheerfully. His night shift was about to end and he was happy to exchange a few words with another living and breathing human.

“Early bird and all, Bob, you know the drill,” Carol laughed, passing him by. “Anything out of the ordinary while I’ve been away?” She always asked him the same question.

“Just me and the mice, ma’am,” Bob chuckled. “It’s been quiet as in a tomb around here for as long as I can remember.” His reply didn’t differ either.

Finally in her office, Carol hung her jacket in the coat rack and sat down on the couch next to the window to flick through her agenda for the day. The sound of a vacuum cleaner emanating from the corridor interrupted her musings. She took her briefcase and moved behind her desk, but just as she was about to pick up the papers she had left there for her further deliberation, something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. An exquisite emerald and diamond ring lay on the right side of the tabletop as if it had been casually picked up from the floor and placed there for her to find. Perplexed, she turned the ring around looking for information as whom it belonged to. There was no engraving on it.

Quickly, she got up and stepped outside of her room. “Maria,” she addressed the cleaning woman who was moving further away from her door, “has anyone been in my office while I was gone?”

Wiping away the runaway strands of hair from her forehead, the woman turned the vacuum off. “No, Mrs. Aird. We didn’t think it necessary to clean your room while you were gone,” she explained apologetically.

“No, of course not,” Carol mumbled, “thank you, Maria.” She closed the door behind her to block the sound Maria’s vacuum was about to make again. She walked over to the safe and opened it. Everything was in order, nothing was missing, nothing out of place. Still Carol couldn’t shake off the feeling that something else was also off. She just couldn’t figure out what exactly. For a second she doubted her own sanity, thinking she must have somehow swiped the ring off from the museum collection and taken it over to her room for a closer inspection. Going through the catalogued items, she already knew she wouldn’t find any mention of the ring there. It was as if it had dropped out of nowhere only to haphazardly land on her desk.

Although her cheeks were burning up, Carol felt oddly calm sitting quietly in her chair. She kept staring at the ring, almost expecting it to speak, to divulge its mystery like a magic talisman ready to grant her any three wishes.

It was way past lunchtime when Carol came to see Therese in her room. Therese had been expecting her, although she did her best not to show it. Typing on her laptop, she appeared completely focused on her task, though the words on the screen resembled mere rows of letters to her now. When Carol came so close that she couldn’t possibly be ignored anymore, Therese raised her eyes to greet her.

“Are you okay? I mean you were gone all yesterday,” Therese started. “I hope you weren’t sick or anything?” She sounded genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine,” Carol said, her hands shoved deep in the pockets of her lab coat. “I had some personal business I had to take care of, that’s all.” She turned around to take a microscope out of one of the bottom drawers behind Therese’s back. It seemed to require an exceptional amount of effort, Therese noticed, still unwilling to take a look at what was keeping her. The tension she had not precipitated went from zero to sixty in no time. It was more than enough to make Therese exceedingly nervous. “Did you miss me?” Carol’s words startled her, but what could have very well been interpreted as a welcome opening, suddenly sounded ominous in Therese’s ears.    

Five years ago

“I bet you’ve missed me,” Karen said after she had pulled her out from the Greyhound bus leaving for Oregon. The police officers that had helped her to locate the runaway had agreed to let Therese’s ‘foolishness’ slide this time – as long as it would not happen again. Martha was waiting by the car. When Therese got in, she didn’t look her in the eyes.

“You really want to go to prison? Karen asked once they had left the Port Authority. “I can arrange it any time you want.” Her hand squeezed Therese’s wrist tightly, the manicured nails digging painfully into her flesh.

“My record’s been expunged,” Therese mumbled, tears stinging her eyes against her will. “I’m free to do whatever I want, and you can’t stop me.” What she had needed to say had taken all the courage she could ever muster.    

“Whatever gave you such an idea, darling?” Karen hissed at her. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken.” Stupefied, Therese tried to make sense of what she had just heard. “And you haven’t been much of a model citizen since your first transgression either, have you?” Dazed, Therese looked out the side window for solace of any kind. The high-rises the car was passing by seemed to curve and bend, to crush her with their obstinate weight. She loosened up her collar, took away the scarf, but nothing seemed to help her to breathe properly.

“I don’t care about myself…” Therese heard herself whimper. “I don’t care what happens to me.”

Sighing, Karen let go of Therese’s wrist and straightened her skirt. “Maybe not,” she relented. “But you do care about Dannie, don’t you, Therese?”

Did you miss me? Carol’s question ringing in her ears, Therese was grateful for not having to directly face her. To steady her breathing, she closed her eyes and focused on the one thing that always calmed her down – the various cuts of her beloved rhinestones. Cabochon, rivoli, rhombus, chaton… I will bounce back any second now… flat-back, triangle, lemon, baquette… Her eyes flew open. Did I miss you? She felt Carol’s hand lightly on her shoulder.

Therese wanted desperately to grab her hand, but when she looked on her left to make sure it was still there for her, she couldn’t help but turn deathly pale. Carol was wearing the emerald and diamond ring.