Melissa wasn’t crazy, like the girls in the locker room said she was.
She wasn’t obsessed with Shauna — she was just looking out for her. There were plenty of guys who would do anything to get into Shauna’s pants. Or Jackie, who was so desperate to find a boyfriend for her
So yeah, Melissa was just keeping an eye on her. For her safety. That’s all.
And no, it wasn’t weird that she knew Shauna’s favorite bands ( Blind Melon, Weezer, The Cranberries) — or that she could describe exactly how she smelled. Woodsy notes, green apple, white flowers (Beverly Hills 90210 perfume sitting on her desk).
Sometimes, after school, Melissa would drive by Shauna’s house. Just to make sure she was home, safe. Especially on days when Randy Walsh wouldn’t stop staring.
No one gets near Shauna without Melissa noticing. Not even Jeff.
She knew about him.
She saw them in the woods, when they thought everyone was too drunk to care where they’d gone.
They weren’t wrong — but Melissa saw. She followed.
She heard Jeff’s pathetic voice. Heard Shauna’s moans.
She watched his sweaty hands on moving up and down Shauna’s body.
Melissa slipped her hand under her waistband, fingers moving slow, in circles.
“Tell me you love me” She heard Shauna whisper.
I love you, I love you, I love you, Melissa whispered back to herself when she came.
She wasn’t embarrassed, she did this all the time. Maybe not that close to Shauna, but still.
In her car, parked down the street.
In her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the way Shauna looked at Jackie.
She could keep a secret for Shauna. Of course she could. Shauna could do whatever she wanted. Even if that meant fucking her best friend’s boyfriend.
Melissa watches the way Shauna looks at Jackie, and it twists something deep inside her.
That smile, soft and warm, like Jackie is the center of Shauna’s universe. The way Shauna’s eyes linger just a little longer, like Jackie is the only person who matters.
Melissa tries to copy her sometimes. She stands in front of the mirror, tilts her head just right, mimics Jackie’s laugh, her facial expressions.
She listens to Jackie talk — her voice so loud, full of confidence.
Shauna laughs at every dumb thing Jackie says.
Jackie doesn’t even get it. She doesn’t know what she has. Melissa sees it. She sees how much Jackie takes Shauna for granted.
Melissa feels when Shauna’s upset. It’s like a weight pressing down on her chest.
The second Shauna’s mood shifts, Melissa knows. She can feel it in her bones, in the air around her.
Melissa watches Shauna’s routines, memories them.
She notices the time Shauna leaves her house in the morning, how she always stops to look at her reflection before heading into the classroom.
She likes the predictability. It makes her feel closer to Shauna.
When Shauna laughs with Jackie or the other girls, Melissa watches her carefully, studying every move, every glance, trying to figure out what makes Shauna smile like that.
She notices how Shauna pulls her hair back when she’s concentrating, how she chews on the end of her pencil when she’s thinking, how she holds her books close to her chest when she walks through the halls.
Every small thing is a clue. Every detail, something to hold onto.
She’s so angry. Angry at Jackie for taking everything she wants. Angry at Shauna for never noticing her. Angry at herself for caring.