Exs & Ohs

Lena hadn’t heard a single word the lawyers said all morning. The incessant bickering and bargaining and legal jargon always irritated her to the point of disinterest, but today she simply couldn’t focus on them. She could hear their voices like a low hum in the back of her mind as her thoughts wandered elsewhere.

To thoughts of Lydia and the kiss they’d shared that morning. Lena knew she’d made the right decision, rejecting Lydia's attempt to rekindle their romance. But she could still feel the blonde’s eyes on her when she wasn’t looking. Could still hear the sincerity of Lydia’s regret and the familiarity of her touch.

Lena didn’t presume to know much about love. After all she’d never had an abundance of healthy real life examples in the Luthor household. But she thought Lydia was the closest thing to a first love she’d ever had. She had certainly been her most serious relationship. Her longest relationship.

And yet, Lena didn’t feel the sorrow she had expected from their closure. She thought she’d feel a renewed sense of loss or regret. But she felt relieved. Like a weight she had gotten too used to carrying had finally been lifted.

Lena had wholeheartedly meant what she’d told Lydia. Lena wasn’t the same person Lydia had known, and she didn’t want to be. It was time to put that version of herself to rest and her connection to Lydia along with it. It was time to move forward. And all Lena could think about when she thought about moving forward was Kara. The other blonde preoccupying her thoughts.

Maybe her timing was a little off when she’d asked Kara to dinner the other night. Maybe finally making a move on the shy reporter when Lydia was in town had been a poor choice. Maybe she’d wanted to take her mind off Lydia. Maybe she’d even wanted to make both blondes jealous. Prove to Lydia that she had moved on. And Lena wasn’t proud of that. Definitely not the best way to start a relationship with Kara.

But none of that changed the fact that Kara made Lena absolutely melt into a lovestruck mess. Granted, Lena was a Luthor and she had been trained her whole life to keep it together and remain composed even in emotionally charged situations. So far, she’d managed to appear rather calm in Kara’s presence. She couldn’t bring herself to regret their date. Before Lydia had interrupted them, things had been going remarkably well. Kara had showed up looking stunning and flustered and adorable as always. Despite both women’s obvious nerves conversation always seemed to come rather easily for them. Lena hadn’t been able to stop smiling. She must have looked like a fool. Not to mention the difficulty she had keeping her eyes off Kara’s legs and arms in that sleeveless dress. Though Lena sensed the feeling was mutual. She’d caught Kara trying not to check her out more than once while she was cooking.

And then that kiss. Well, what Lena was sure would have been an amazing kiss if they hadn’t been interrupted by her ex-girlfriend.

Lena shifted uncomfortably in her seat and pinched the bridge of her nose just thinking of that. The look on poor Kara’s face when Lena agree to let Lydia up. Lena may have originally hoped to make Kara a little jealous, but she never ever intended to hurt her. That was the last thing Lena wanted. In fact, she’d been so distressed by the tears brimming in Kara’s eyes she’d said something that had been entirely too much for their first date.

I want you. She’d told Kara, like a fucking idiot. Letting the raw truth slip out like that. Kara’s eyes had gone wide, probably with utter terror at Lena’s intensity. But she’d stayed. Which is what Lena had wanted. That was something at least. Surely if Lena had freaked her out too much the girl wouldn’t have stuck around to deal with Lydia.

Then of course, there was this whole mess with Marshall Tate and his impending death. Lena didn’t know him very well. But he’d always been kind to her, whereas most of her parents' associates had been cold. He was the only one that ever seemed to approve of her relationship with Lydia. And Lena had always thought him to be a rather level-headed and generous businessman. Though that seemed to have changed as of late , Lena didn’t think he deserved to die. She found herself once again placing all her hopes on Supergirl.

The Girl of Steel had been somewhat aloof this morning. Not unkind, but certainly preoccupied. At first, Lena had thought perhaps it was because of their disagreement over Medusa. Now after hearing that Supergirl wasn’t angry about that, didn’t hold it against Lena in the least. Lena had to wonder what was troubling the hero. Hopefully, it didn’t have anything to do with her and Kara...Or God forbid Supergirl had seen that kiss between her and Lydia…

“Ms. Luthor!” Lena was jerked out of her thoughts by Jess trying to get her attention. Apparently she’d zoned out. I have a few too many blondes in my life. Lena thinks.

“Yes, Jess, I’m sorry.” Lena sits straighter, looking around to see if anyone else had noticed her absent mind. The lawyers were still bickering happily. Everyone else looked bored out of their skulls. Lydia seemed lost in her own thoughts. Probably worried about her grandfather.

“Ms. Luthor, it’s twenty after twelve. Did you want to break for lunch?” Jess whispers, looking concerned. Lena’s face must betray her troubled thoughts. Lena nods, standing up. The lawyers halt their conversation, and everyone seems to wake up for their dazed boredom.

“Let’s all take an hour for lunch shall we?” Everyone nods and murmurs their agreement, obviously relieved. “Actually, let’s make that an hour and a half.” The room begins to disperse. Lena is glad to see Lydia leave with her assistant, without so much as a glance in Lena direction. I can't handle anymore of her right now.

Walking back to her office with Jess, Lena inquires about Kara’s whereabouts.

“Jess, have you seen Kara Danvers here this morning?” A knowing smile spreads across Jess’s face, as she types away at her tablet. Lena finds it mildly annoying that Jess thinks she knows something. At the same time, Lena can’t deny that Jess’s assumptions are rooted in truth. She had it bad for Kara Danvers. Seemed a little late to start denying that now.

“No, Ms. Luthor, but according to the schedule I set up for her, she should have been down in the labs interviewing department heads all morning. Would you like me to call her?”

“No!” Lena says a bit too quickly, entering her office. “No, um, that’s not necessary. I’m sure she’ll turn up.” Lena blushes, despite that famous Luthor composure. Jess doesn’t comment, thank god.

“Jess, would you just order lunch, please. That Chinese place around the corner.” Lena pours herself a glass of scotch, then sets it aside, scolding herself for trying to drink so early in the day.

“Of course, Ms. Luthor. Your usual?”

Lena takes a moment to check her personal cell phone, instantly disappointed to see a lack of new messages from Kara. Is she angry about last night? Lena wonders.

“No, actually, order a spread. In case, Kara shows up before the lunch break is over. I know, she’ll be hungry.” Jess raises her eyebrows, and hesitates, making Lena self-conscious. “Don’t look at me like that.” Lena says, turning away and taking a seat at her desk.

Jess flusters “I wasn’t- Like what?”

“Like I’m whipped.” Lena replies calmly, taking a sip of that scotch after all. Too hell with it.

“Ms. Luthor, I would never imply…” Jess is struggling to hide a smile, avoiding Lena’s fixed gaze by tapping at her tablet.

“I’m not whipped, okay? I just…” Lena trails off, and Jess finally looks up at her, face softening.

“You like her.” Jess says gently.

Lena’s face heats up again, but this time a smile comes with the blush. She laughs, embarrassed, but happy at the same time.

“Yes, I suppose I do.” She takes another sip from her glass.

Jess nods “I’ll get that food ordered for you, Ms. Luthor.” She steps towards the door to leave.

“Thank you. And, Jess…”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor?”

“Make sure to get extra potstickers, will you?”

They smile goofily at each other.

“Of course, Ms. Luthor.”