Exs & Ohs

Kara was terribly nervous. She barely had two hours to get ready for her dinner with Lena, which wasn’t even enough time to emotionally prepare, let alone figure out what to wear, Alex convinced her that the dinner sounded casual to her, so no need for Kara to dress up.

“Just go in jeans.” Alex had told her over the phone.

“No, no. Not jeans.” Kara had heard Maggie say in the background. “She should wear those black pants, the tight ones with the silver button.”

Alex covered the phone with her hand, but Kara could still hear her response to Maggie.

“How do you know about my sister’s pants?” Maggie giggled.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, babe. But Little Danvers is also hot.” Maggie told her. “Especially in the black pants!” she said a bit louder so Kara could hear. Kara blushed and laughed. Alex huffed unhappily.

“I’m gonna pretend she didn’t just say that.”

Ultimately, Kara forwent the jeans and the black pants. She couldn’t risk the jeans being too casual, or the black pants being too hot. So instead she wore a sleeveless blue dress that dropped down to her mid-thigh. She left her hair down, but pinned her bangs back out of her face.

Now she stood outside Lena’s building staring up trying and failing to see the penthouse balcony. She let out a shaking breath, adjusting her dress self consciously.

Kara approached the doorman. He was a tall young guy, not exactly what Kara had expected. She shyly handed him the slip of paper Lena had given her. The man smiled and held the door open.

“Welcome, Ms. Danvers. Ms. Luthor told me to expect you.” Kara found herself blushing at the idea of Lena talking about her.

It was silly, Kara knew.

“Oh, thank you.” Kara said stepping into the building and walking over into the elevator. The elevator required you to enter a 4 digit code in order to access the penthouse. Lena had written it down along with her address.

Okay, Kara, just dinner with your good friend Lena Luthor. Nothing to be nervous about. You’ve been out together before. That’s what friends do. Nothing’s changed. This is no different. Except that now you’re not going out, you’re staying in. In Lena’s apartment. Alone. Oh Rao…

She arrives on the top floor and the doors open directly into Lena’s apartment. Kara hadn’t expected that.

The apartment is huge, all white and modern, similar to Lena’s office. This space is much warmer though. The living room is full of bookshelves and a large television, several house plants are scattered about, brightening the place up. Classical music is playing on the television.

The dark wood floors flow into the kitchen, where Lena is standing. Her back is turned, but Kara can tell she’s hard at work cooking. The woman’s long dark hair is free and hanging loosely down her back.

Kara steps out of the elevator and knock on the wall timidly. Lena spins around, a large block of cheese in one hand and a cheese grater in the other. A bright smile lights Lena’s face and Kara is astonished by how easily it appears.

“Kara! You’re just in time. Come in, come in.” Lena sets aside the cheese and wipes her hands, before coming over to greet Kara.

Lena is wearing a pair of light blue jeans that hang low on her hips, and a white v-neck t-shirt. Kara has never seen the businesswoman dressed so casually or looking so at ease.

This is how Lena is when she doesn’t have to posture to her.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Lena reaches forward and pulls Kara into a warm hug, her arms around Kara’s neck. Kara is surprised at first, then she relaxes and melts into it a moment, her hands on the small of Lena’s back. This is when she notices Lena is barefoot and once again shorter than her. Kara chuckles.

“You’re so short.” Kara comments. Lena pulls away, patting Kara’s shoulder in mock offense.

“Oh, hush!” She takes Kara coat and hangs it by the elevator. Kara leaves her purse there too.

They walk back over towards the kitchen, Lena promptly getting back to her cheese grating.

“This place is beautiful, Lena!” Kara says taking a seat at the kitchen island.

Lena hasn’t stopped smiling since Kara arrived, and it’s making Kara smile.

This feels fine. Kara thinks This is nice.

“Oh yes, my ever humble abode.” Lena says without looking up from her cooking.

Something smells amazing and Kara’s stomach grumbles in anticipation. Lena hears it from several feet away at the stove.

“Glad you brought your appetite. I’m afraid, I’ve prepared entirely too much food.” she stirs a large bowl of boiling pasta on the stove.

“Nonsense!” Kara declares “I promise, none of it will be wasted.”

Lena looks over at her a teasing look in her eye.

“Pretty confident in that stomach of yours.” The brunette says. Kara nods whole-heartly.

“Absolutely. You are cooking for Midvale’s three time pie-eating champion. Thank you very much.”

“Oh, well excuse me. I had no idea.”

Kara laughs as she climbs down off her stool to come stand closer to Lena. She leans against the counter watching the woman stir.

“Whatcha cooking anyway?” Kara asks peering at the pasta.

“Linguine carbonara.” Lena tells her with an embellished accent “I hope you like Italian.”

“Sounds delicious.”

Lena seems very aware of Kara’s proximity, eyeing the blonde from the corner of her eye.

“Can I help at all?” Kara offers. Lena shakes her head as she moves to strain the pasta over the sink.

“No, you arrived just in time. I’m about to add the parmesan.” Lena does just that, dramatically sprinkling the cheese over the noodles.

“You can grap us some plates though. They’re in the last cabinet there, up top.” She says gesturing down the counter. Kara obediently sets their plates as Lena brings the food over to the island.

Lena opens a bottle of white wine.

“Would you like some?” She asks, standing on her tiptoes to reach for glasses in a top cabinet. “I know, you don’t usually drink.”

Kara gets distracted by the way Lena’s t-shirt rides up her torso while she’s reaching. Revealing entirely too much of Lena’s pale skin for Kara to handle.

“Uhhh, sure. Yes! I’d love some. Thanks.” Kara blushes hard sitting back on her stool and looking away as Lena turns back to her.

“This is the good stuff.” Lena tells her, waggling her eyebrows as she pours the wine.

They eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Kara loves the carbonara and she tells Lena so. She tries to eat slower than usual, in order to really enjoy as well as prolong her time with Lena.

“Thanks for joining me tonight, Kara.” Lena takes a long drink from her glass.

“Of course!” Kara says around a mouthful of food “Thank you for having me.”

“This week isn’t halfway over but it’s been incredibly stressful.” Lena goes on to say. “I needed some good food...and company.”

“I can’t imagine the pressure you must be under, Lena.”

Lena twirls her pasta around her fork, thoughtfully.

“Yeah, and if I’m being honest, having Lydia here is...Well, it’s just making everything more difficult.”

Kara stiffens on her stool and has to try hard to swallow the sudden lump in her throat the mention of Lena’s ex.

“Oh?” Kara asks, trying to keep her cool.

Thankfully, Lena isn’t looking at her, because Kara isn’t sure of the expression she’s wearing.

“Lydia does seem like...alot.” Kara says carefully. Lena snorts a laugh.

“Yes, she is at that.”

Kara hesitates to ask the question that been nagging at her, unsure if it’s her place.

“What happened there? Between you two?” she asks gently, taking another bite of food.

Lena shakes her head and for a moment Kara doesn’t think she’ll tell her.

“It’s like I told you, we were very close in high school. Dated on and off for years after that. We had been on for a good long stretch, were practically living together actually, when…When everything happened with Lex. The whole scandal.” Kara reaches out without thinking and takes Lena’s hand.

“Oh, Lena…”

The brunette takes her comfort gratefully, running her thumb over the back of Kara’s hand.

“Yeah, so...there I was, my brother had just been arrested, my mother was up in arms with the lawyers, the company (which I wasn’t even really working for at the time) was suddenly falling apart...And Lydia decides…” Lena stops clearly upset, she takes several gulps of her wine before continuing. Kara waits patiently.

“Lydia had just started working for her grandfather, in Tate’s legal department.” Lena says slowly. “And she comes to me, on the day Lex’s trial started and tells me that Tate is severing its ties to LuthorCorp. That my family’s company is threw. And...that we were too.”

Lena isn’t crying, but her voice shakes. Kara scoots closer to her, until their knees touch under the table and squeezes Lena’s hand.

“She said she was being promoted and moving to Midway. She said she was sorry, but she could no longer afford to be associated with my family, with the Luthor name.” Lena voice grows angry towards the end, spitting out her family’s name.  

“That was it. That was a little over two years ago.” Lena concludes, looking at Kara for the first time since she started the story. Kara shakes her head sadly.

“She just left? Just like that?”

Kara can’t believe it. She understood it must have been a difficult time for everyone involved. Lex hurt a lot of people. But to blame Lena for that...to lump her with the rest of her family...and abandon her when Lena needed someone the most...It made Kara angry.

“Just like that. It’s how she is, Kara. Always has been.”

Lena looks down toying with the bottom of her t-shirt.

“She wasn’t wrong though.” she says “Lex ruined it, ya know? My company, my name, my already shitty family...he ruined it all. Made us toxic. Made me toxic. If Lydia had stayed with me...it would have hurt her career.”

Kara takes both Lena’s hands in hers then, leaning closer to the self-loathing woman beside her.

“Look at me.” Kara commands. Lena does, slowly, shyly. Her green eyes bright with emotion.

“You are not toxic, Lena. “ Kara tells her fiercely. “You are absolutely...incredible, okay. You are brave and determined and kind and so resilient. You took what Lex and your mother ruined and you made it work again. You made it better. You are a force, Lena Luthor. A beautiful force of nature.”

Lena’s eyes are wide and disbelieving. Kara shakes her head and looks away, angry and sad that Lena can’t see in herself what Kara knows is there.

“And if Lydia Tate” Kara goes on “is too stuck up her own ass to see that…”

Lena laughs sudden and genuine, Kara smiles. “Well, then she’s a fool.”

Lena squeezes Kara’s hand gratefully, and brushes her hair behind her ear, prompting Kara to look back up at her.

“Thank you, Kara. I…” she hesitates, her green eyes uncertain “Just thank you." She says.

They are sitting so close now. Kara’s not sure when it happened. They’re knees are pressing against each other under the table, they are clutching each other hands. Lena’s eyes dart down to Kara’s lips and Kara can hear both their hearts beat faster.

Oh Rao, this is it… Kara thinks.

Lena leans forward slowly as if she doesn’t want to frighten Kara who has gone absolutely still. She touches the side of Kara’s face gently and their lips are about to touch…

A loud beep sounds from the elevator, starling them both apart. The intercom next to the elevator comes to life.

“Ms. Luthor, you have a visitor in the lobby.”

Kara recognizes the doorman’s voice from earlier.

Lena gets up reluctantly, and walks over to the intercom, her feet slapping the floor angrily. Kara shifts uncomfortably on her stool, readjusting her glasses.

“Who is it, Frank?” Lena asks sharply into the speaker.

“Ms. Tate, Ma’am. Lydia Tate.”

No way. No, no, no, no. This isn’t happening. Kara thinks. Lena looks back at her over her shoulder, obviously sharing Kara’s thoughts.

“Lena?” Lydia’s voice comes through the speaker.

“What are you doing here, Lydia?” Lena asks angrily.

“I need to talk to you.” Lydia’s voice sounds tight, as if she’s just as unhappy with the situation.

Lena glances at Kara again, clearly torn. Kara shrugs, still shocked that this is even happening.

“Can’t this wait until morning?” Lena practically growls.

“No, it urgent. And it’s...not about the Co-Op, it’s personal.” Lydia whispers the word through the speaker.

“You want me to let her up, Ms. Luthor?” Frank asks.

Lena hesitates for a long moment, frustrated.

“Fine. Let her up.” Lena says.

The room seems very silent suddenly. Lena turns back to Kara her arms over her chest. They stand in awkward silence.

“I’m so sorry about this, Kara. I can’t...I really can’t imagine why she’s here.”

Kara moves towards the elevator, reaching for her coat.

“I can.” she mutters, unable to hide her annoyance.

She’s not mad at Lena, really. Or even Lydia, if she’s honest. She’d want Lena back too, if their positions were reversed. She was mostly angry with herself. Frustrated that she had even let herself believe Lena could want her. Plain old Kara Danvers. Lena was so much bigger than that. She lived on another level. She was mad that she hadn’t realized her own stupid feelings sooner and made a move when she had a chance. She cursed her own timid nature.

“Kara, wait!” Lena reaches for her. “Please don’t go.” Lena pleads.

“I should let you two talk. You obviously have a lot to figure out.” Kara is saying shaking her head, willing herself not to cry.

“No. No we don’t!” Lena says, taking Kara’s hand gently. “I don’t want her here, Kara. I...I want you.”

The words hang between them, heavy and unexpected. Lena is clutching Kara’s hand, and with the memory of their almost kiss, the declaration is entirely too intimate.

“Okay.” Kara says quietly. “I’ll stay.”

At that moment, the elevator dings and the doors open. Lena and Kara move simultaneously. Lena takes a step forward crossing her arms, and Kara takes a step back hiding behind Lena.

Lydia emerges, none of her usual swagger. She’s still wearing her outfit and makeup from work. But her usual smile is absent, her shoulders stiff. She stops short when she sees Kara. They're lock eyes, regarding each other with mild hostility for a moment, before Lydia says

“Of course, you’re here right now.” Lena moves to block Lydia’s view of Kara.

“She’s not the one who wasn’t invited.” Lena says through gritted teeth.

Lydia huffs and smiles cruelly.

“What do you want?” Lena says her voice low and dangerous.

Lydia rolls her eyes and turns her attention reluctantly to Lena.

“I need to talk to Supergirl.”