Aren't You Tired?

because I love her, okay!

I'm in love with your sister

"You're what?" Kara asks, looking at her sister and Lena. She went straight from the airport to Lena's penthouse. She wanted to tell Lena that it was okay if she doesn't think she loves Kara yet. She wanted her to know that she realized feeling for Kara is enough. It's enough for her to stay and she was willing to wait. What she didn't expect is to hear those words from Lena. She didn't expect Lena to admit it to Alex and Lena didn't even know she was there.

Kara didn't expect it. She knew she wanted Lena to love her. But hearing those words from Lena herself, her heart stung.  She felt a pang in her heart. But it wasn't the kind that sends you falling apart. It was the kind that fills up Kara's eyes with tears, tears of happiness. She couldn't believe it. Did she hear it wrong? 

Lena turns around to face Kara. For Kara, it was like everything was in slow motion; The way Lena's hair flips, the moment her piercing blue eyes lock gazes with Lena's emerald eyes. Kara was lost in those eyes, those eyes that Kara couldnt resist. She takes a step or two forward, not turning away from the raven haired beauty in front of her. She didn't even notice Alex wasn't there anymore.

"You're what?" Kara repeats, gulping a sob because her tears are definitely threatening to fall. Her heart starts to beat erratically. She could see Lena's hands tremble and it makes her own do as well. She clenches her fist to hide it.

Lena's mouth slightly opens, finding the words, and then closes again. She stares at Kara with different emotions radiating from those eyes. 

"Kara” Lena says barely whispering but Kara heard it and just the way Lena says her name makes Kara’s heart jump.

Lena takes a step forward. The look of disbelief evident in her eyes, “You... You came back.”

“I came back” Kara repeats, letting it all sink in because yes, she did come back. She came back for Lena. She always has.

“You’re staying.”  It wasn’t a question. It’s what Lena believes, what she hopes, what she wants to happen.

“I’m staying” Kara says as she takes a step closer to her best friend.

Lena does the same and before they know it, there are only few steps between them to close the gap. “You’re here” Lena says with a hopeful smile on her face.

Kara couldn’t believe how in a messy state, Lena could still be beautiful more than ever. My parents warned me about the drugs in the street but never the ones with Green eyes and a heartbeat, Kara remembers thinking that before. And yes, that is still true because somehow, she is addicted to loving Lena Luthor. Don’t get her wrong. She tried to stop. She really did but how can anyone not love this girl in front of her?  

“I’m here.” She whispers, gulping back a sob. “Lena-“

“Kara, let me.” Lena says, stopping whatever Kara was about to say. “Last night, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it was right to let you go, that I was putting you first.”

“You weren’t” Kara says as a tear falls from her eye.

“I know.” Lena says. “I know that now. And I went to your apartment to say that, to say a lot of things. To say that I’m sorry, Kara.”

Lena holds Kara’s hand and squeezes it as she continues. “I’m sorry for all the canceled plans before. I’m sorry for the things I’ve said, for the things I wasn’t able to do. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner, for being with the wrong person. I’m sorry for being blind and not seeing what’s right in front of me. But mostly, I’m sorry I didn’t get to say it. What I really want to say is”

“No” Kara stops her, removing her hand from Lena’s hold. “Don’t say it if you aren’t sure”

Lena shakes her head. She takes Kara’s hand again as tears start to fall from her eyes. “I love you, Kara. I’m in love with you in a whole new different level that I haven’t experience before that it scares me. But I don’t care”

“But..” Kara wipes her tears as she struggles to get her words out. “I know I wanted you to say that but you can’t because I might just believe you, Lena. And if I believe you, there’s no going back.”

“Hey. Hey” Lena wipes Kara’s tears, cupping her cheeks. “I don’t want to go back, darling. I know you’re scared. I know I’ve hurt you. I won’t promise never to hurt you again because god forbid, I could. We make mistakes. But I can promise you that I’ll be here, Kara. I’ll be here through it all. The good, the bad, and everything in between.”

“Lena” Kara starts to say but Lena cuts her off as she continues.

Lena takes Kara’s palm, putting it on top of her heart. “I love you, Kara Danvers. But I DON’T want you to think that I love you because you love me. That’s not it. I love you for the reason that I simply do. I love you with every beat of my heart, Kara.”

Kara was taken aback by Lena’s admission that she was speechless for a minute there because this. This is what Kara has always dreamed of, Lena loving her with no conditions. She never thought everything would turn out this way and she was more than thankful for it. Kara is in total awe because she thinks, WOW, This is what it feels like to be actually happy.

Lena had said it. Lena had finally confessed everything. It was like her soul is bare naked in front of Kara. But Kara doesn’t say anything and Lena’s scared that isn’t enough. Lena’s scared that Kara doesn’t believe her. She starts to say more and the next thing she knows, for the first time ever, Lena Luthor, the all well-composed CEO, becomes a rambling mess.

“-And I know if you only let me, I would. I know this past year had been stressful for you. But you asked me to give you a reason to say. You asked me to tell you and you would. And I’m giving you one now, Kara. And I’m asking you. Stay. Please. And-”

“Lena-”

“-And if you don’t believe me, I promise I’ll prove it to you because-“

Lena stops rambling when she suddenly feels the blonde’s lips on hers. Kara kisses Lena passionately as she pushes her to the wall with the palm that was on Lena’s chest. Lena deepens the kiss, not wanting this moment to stop. Everything was perfect. There was hunger in the kiss. Passion. Love. Longing. It’s more than Kara had always imagined. It’s more than Lena had always wanted. It’s everything.

It was like time stopped. Kara was feeling everything all at once, taking this moment by heart because finally. Finally, the person she’s been in love with loves her back. Finally, her best friend feels the same way. Finally, Lena Luthor loves her. And that’s everything for Kara.

Their lips slowly part, allowing both of them to breathe. Kara rests her forehead on Lena’s as she traces her jaw. “I love you too, Lena. Always have. I’m right here.” She says, smiling.

Lena lets out a chuckle.

“What?” Kara asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing” Lena says, smirking as she bites her bottom lip. “I’ve… I’ve just always imagined that it would be me doing that to you. You know, slamming your back to the wall, kissing you to stop your rambling, and all that.”

“Well, Lena Luthor…” Kara teases “There are a lot of things you have yet to discover about me. Perks of having me as a girl friend, you know”

Lena smirks as she pulls by her waist, switching their positions. Kara gasps and put her arms on Lena’s shoulders. Lena’s right hand is holding Kara’s waist while her left hand travels from Kara’s chest to her cheeks, tracing her best friend’s face with her fingertips. She leans over, closing the gap, almost kissing the blonde. Almost.

“Are you saying you’re my girlfriend?” Lena smiles, feeling like the happiest person at the moment.

 “Duh.” Kara rolls her eyes teasingly. “I told you there’s no going back” She pulls Lena for a kiss. She could feel Lena smiling through the kiss and it makes her heart beat rapidly for Lena. Only for Lena, She thinks.

“Wait” Lena slowly pulls away with confusion and fear evident in her face. “Are you sure? I’m scared you’d get tired of me. After everything, Kara, Aren’t… Aren’t You Tired?”

“Of course I am. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of being with someone I’m not in love with. I’m tired of controlling my feelings, trying to conceal them. I’m tired with a lot of things, Lena.” Kara says, seeing the mortified face of Lena. She presses their foreheads together and gives her a smile, assuring her. “But one thing I’m never gonna get tired of is loving you. I’ll never get tired of loving you, Lena Luthor”

Lena smiles with that. She stares at those piercing blue eyes, at Kara, her Kara. “I’ll never get tired of loving you too, Kara Danvers.”

*** a year after ***

A lot had changed in a year. Last year Kara got her heart broken and lost herself. She was also able to mend her broken heart and find herself, know herself. She is thankful for Lucy for that. Lucy was who she needed that time to finally be able to learn how to be stronger and independent. But Lena is who Kara needs- forever. Yes, Kara had made mistakes but she had also become a better version of herself.

Kara sets up the blanket on the grass as she stares at Lena walking towards her with the picnic basket. Last year, if someone had said she’d be happy with her best friend, that she’d be editor – in –chief in CatCo, she would not have believed her. Yet here she is right now, having success in her career and falling more in love with her girlfriend every single day. She couldn’t ask for more because this was more than she hoped for. Kara smiles as Lena sits right beside her.

“Hey, Baby. Got your favorite food” Lena says as she puts the picnic basket down. Lena kisses Kara before she starts to stand. “I’ll leave you to it”

“Babe.” Kara pulls Lena’s hand. “Stay. Please?”

Lena sits closer to Kara this time. She takes off her coat and puts it on Kara. Lena puts her arm around Kara’s as the blonde leans her head on the brunette’s shoulder.

“Hi Mom. Hi Dad” Kara says with a crack in her voice. She stares at the tombstones in front of her as she traces the replica of her parents’ necklace that Lena gave her a year ago. “Remember when I told you about the void in my heart? And How I was so scared it would never be gone, that I’ll always feel alone and left behind? Well guess what, It’s gone now, mom, dad.”

Kara’s tears start to fall from her eyes. But she wasn’t sad anymore. She wasn’t angry anymore. She was okay. She finally understands. She smiles and looks up at those emerald eyes and smiles at Lena. Kara then intertwines her hands with Lena’s as she continues. “it’s gone because of Lena. I know you know she’s my best friend but I also want you to know that she’s my girlfriend. She looks at me like I was the universe above mom. She’d hold me close and keeps me safe during my panic attacks just like you did, dad. She’d call me out of nowhere just because she misses me. She’s my everything. And Lena makes me the happiest, mom and dad. I still get hurt and scared like I told you last year but I’m okay, mom, dad.”

She turns to face Lena, meeting the gaze of those teary emerald eyes. “I’m more than okay. I’m happy.” Kara smiles, the smile that is only reserved for Lena. “I’m home.”

Kara and Lena stay like that for awhile under the night sky, enjoying the stars above them and of course the food. Lena looks at her watch and it was 11:58. The day was almost over and that was there cue to leave.

“Happy Birthday, Babe.” Lena says before kissing Kara passionately. She smiles as she realizes how blessed she is with her girlfriend. “I love you.”

All Lena could think about was it’s THIS. She had always believed that one day, someday, somewhere, someone is going to make her happy she’d barely think it’s true. Someone is going to make her feel not only butterflies in her stomach but the whole damn Safari. Someone is going to hold her hand and be there through the good and most especially the bad.

And it’s this.

It’s Kara.

Kara Danvers is her someone. The One.

“I love you, Lena” Kara couldn’t stop the grin in her face. Whenever she’s with Lena, her heart beats erratically but utterly calm at the same time. She stands slowly, tapping the tombstones of her parents. “I miss you every day, mom, dad. I miss you. And I wish you could have been here. I’ll always wish you could have been here. I… I love you both”

Lena walks towards Kara. She holds Kara’s hand, letting her cry for a moment. “Wherever they are, I know they’re proud of you, darling.” Lena whispers.

When Kara finally calmed herself enough, she asked for the car keys and went to get the car in the parking lot while Lena gathers the picnic basket and the blankets.

Lena takes this opportunity to be alone with Kara’s parents even if it’s only through their tombstones.

“I once wished that I could take care of her. The moment I had the chance, I did. Now I'm asking you to give me the chance. Because I know I'd marry her someday. one day.” Lena whispers, smiling. “Wherever you are, you don’t have to worry because I’ll always love Kara. And I promise you, I’ll never get tired taking care of your daughter."

Lena hears the car's engine. She stares at Kara as the blonde beams at her, waving excitedly.

"I’ll take care of her, I promise.”  Lena whispers as she leaves smiling, walking towards Kara, walking towards her girlfriend, her best friend, her one.

Lena is walking home.

*** fin ***