Chapter 9
To say that Lena is tired is a bit of an understanding. Lena and Veronica have been arguing quite a lot lately. It used to be a normal occurrence for them before but not when Veronica started to date Lena exclusively. So when they start to argue again, it was really draining the energy out of Lena. They've been arguing from the smallest matters such as the food they were gonna have for dinner to big things like the meeting they were supposed to have for their joint business Veronica and Lena had planned out months ago.
"Lena, this is really important. Our potential investors are there in Metropolis. We were supposed to fly out there yesterday." Veronica says to Lena, clearly frustrated why her girlfriend won't go.
"V, I cant.. I know it's really unprofessional of me but-"
"Then let's go!" Veronica cuts Lena off. "You said it yourself. It's unprofessional Lena. And we have planned this for months!"
"I know. I know.." Lena comes closer, taking Veronica's hands, squeezing it. "Believe me if I could, I would. But I can't V. Kara-"
Veronica sighs and before Lena could even finish her sentence she pulls away and takes a few steps back.
"Kara" she scoffs
Lena looks at her girlfriend and gives her a confused look, seeing how Veronica reacted.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lena asks.
"That Bit-" Veronica shakes her head, clearly irritated. "Know what, I'm gonna go and deal with the investors myself! Call me if you change your mind!"
And before Lena could even react, Veronica's gone, slamming the door behind her.
If it was Any other day, Lena would have gone with Veronica. But not today. Not on Kara's birthday. They've been celebrating it every year and today was no exception. So she cleared her plans and saved the date.
Kara was cooking breakfast when she hears a knock on the door.
"Lena? What, what's that?" Kara asks, giving Lena a confused look as she stares at the pile of potstickers with a candle on a plate Lena is holding.
Lena comes in and beams at Kara, closing the door and heading directly to the Kitchen counter.
"You didn't think I'd forget. Did you?"
Kara's eyes widen at what Lena meant. Because although, Lena didn't forget she did. She has been too preoccupied with making her relationship with Lucy work, with maintaining her 'moving on progress from Lena, with Alex' girlfriend problems, with trying to help out everyone else's problems actually that she completely forgot about her birthday.
"But apparently you did." Lena frowns, seeing kara's reaction.
"Oh my gosh, Lena" she takes the plate and puts it on the table. She pulls her best friend for a tight hug as she whispers, "thank you."
She pulls away and looks at her improvised cake. She laughs because every year, Lena manages to create a unique cake out of her favorite dishes. Kara loves food but the one thing she didn't like was cakes. She never celebrated her birthday with cakes. It was weird but it was her tradition.
"We totally have to take a pict-"
Kara was interrupted by another knock. Since the girls weren't able to lock the door awhile ago, the person enters and heads towards them.
"Kar?"
Kara jumps and squeals, running to Her girlfriend and pulling her for a hug.
"Lucceee!!!"
Lucy smiles. She then notices who's behind Kara. Lena looks at her intensely and she does the same. She ignores Lena's dagger looks and kisses Kara passionately, noticing Lena look away when she does.
"Happy Birthday, Kara!" Lucy hands her the birthday cake with a candle on top of it.
Kara looks at it. Then she looks at Lena who just shrugs her shoulders. She turns to Lucy and see the smile on her girlfriend's face. She just couldn't turn that smile upside down. And that would definitely happen if she tells Lucy she doesn't eat cakes. So she takes the cake instead and put it on top of the table, just beside Lena's potsticker cake.
"Oh. I haven't introduced you officially." Kara beams at them. "Lena, Lucy. Lucy, Lena"
Diing
Diing
Diing
"That's my phone. It must be Alex. I'll be right back" Kara says as she heads to her room.
Lena and Lucy stare at each other. Examining the other from head to toe.
"Ms. Lane" Lena says in her icy cold voice she uses in board meetings that scare the old men away. But that doesn't work with Lucy. "I've heard good things about you"
Instead of getting intimidated, Lucy smirks as she nods, acknowledging Lena's presence. "Ms. Luthor. I wish I could say the same"
If Lena was taken aback by Lucy's statement, she sure as hell didn't show it. And before she could even respond, Kara is back standing in front of them, lighting up like the sunshine she is. Clearly oblivious of the tension the two girls in front of her are throwing unto each other. And wether Lucy or Lena knows it, both are trying to mark their territory, maintaining its hold in whatever they think they have. But neither Lucy nor Lena is aware of what they're trying to do and of course Kara Danvers isn't as well.
The staring contest that the two women were doing only stopped when Kara lights the two candles in front of them.
Lena smiles at the sight of Kara being happy on her birthday. "Make a wish, sweetie"
Kara closes her eyes. Now she has to wish for something. First, she wishes for her sister Alex to have all the happiness in this world. For her relationship with Maggie to work. Because if anyone deserves it, it's Alex. She wishes for Jonn to let himself be finally happy with Megan and not worry about the future. Kara wishes that Mike's business may flourish more and that his path to change for the better may continue. She wishes for Winn and James to continue the company they started despite everyone else saying it's risky. She knows that it's James and Winn's passion. Kara wishes for Eliza to be happy despite Jeremiah being gone Kara wishes for her dead parents that wherever they are now, she hopes that even just a little bit they are proud of her. She wishes for LCorp to continue its success and Lena's happiness as well. She wishes for Lucy's dreams to come true since she applied for her dream job already. She wishes for Clark and Lois relationship to be full of love and happiness.
She opens her eyes. Basically, Kara wishes for everyone first but herself. And when she was about to blow, she finally remembers it's her birthday and she should at least wish even just one for herself.
So she stops herself from blowing the candles, smiles and closes her eyes again. She wishes for Lena. No. She did not Intend to think that. No. No. No. She can't. Her heart starts to fluster again. She can't be thinking that. That shouldn't be her first thought when thinking about what she wishes for. Not when she has all she is supposed to need right in front of her. Not when Lucy is here.
Kara breathes deep, trying to relax herself because there's no way she is going to have another panic attack right now. When she is finally sure she's okay. She smiles and forgets about giving herself one wish. She opens her eyes and blow he candles in front of her.
"So are you gonna eat that?" Lena smirks, teasing Kara, knowing full well that Kara doesn't like eating cakes.
Kara gives her a playful warning look that Lena understands the meaning to be 'shut up or your dead'
Lena silently laughs at this but Lucy notices although she doesn't comment about it. She then turns to Kara and holds her hand.
"Sooo what are we going to do today? I got something planned!" Lucy winks at Kara, pulling her closer to her.
Kara fidgets, looking at Lucy then at Lena. She doesn't know what to do. Lena and Kara had this ritual. A tradition on Kara's birthday which obviously Lucy didn't know about. Kara still wants to do this tradition but obviously her girlfriend planned something for her birthday and she didn't want to put that to waste.
Seeing Kara's face, Lena stood up from where she was sitting, trying to hide her disappointment especially since she cleared everything for this day to be with Kara. But clearly, Kara was torn and she didn't want to make it harder for the blonde.
So Lena cleared her throat before she speaks. "I gotta go anyways. See you later Kara." She hugs kara and whispers, "Happy Birthday"
Before leaving, she gives Kara a sad smile, trying to hide what she's feeling and hoping that her best friend will have the best day yet.
Lucy and Kara ended the day having dinner in a fancy restaurant with a band serenading Kara.
"Lucy, you didn't have to" Kara says when they were finally alone as her blood flushes.
Lucy just smiles and stands, pulling Kara to the restaurant's garden. It was a beautiful sight to behold. There were lights illuminating under the dark sky. The smell of the flowers make it even better. The fountain in the middle of the garden and the shed they are under make it even more romantic.
Kara gasps, taking in the moment.
She looks at Lucy intimately and Lucy rests her forehead on Kara's as they stare at each other.
"Yes, Kara. I do have to do this." Lucy takes Kara hand and puts it on top of her heart. "You deserve to be a princess and be swept off your feet, Kar."
Kara can feel the tears accumulating in her eyes as she lives in this moment. As the tears start to fall, Lucy wipes it with her thumb, cupping Kara's cheeks, their forehead still resting on each other's.
"I love you" Lucy whispers.
And she sees the shock in Kara's teary eyes. She sees the panic followed by it. Ad before Kara could even respond, she pulls the blonde closer for a passionate kiss.
They have been dating for a while but Lucy knew she still did not have Kara's heart. Not completely. She knew Kara was just not playing with her emotions. Lucy knew what she signed up for and She also knows that Kara loves her. That is a fact. But Lucy also knows a part of Kara will never love her the way she loved Lena. Loves Lena, maybe? But knowing Kara Danvers loves her period. No matter what way it was, is enough for Lucy Lane. She just wanted Kara to know she loves her. She doesn't care if Kara doesn't say it back. And she wont let Kara have the chance to. She won't make it hard for Kara if she's still not ready.
After the kiss in the garden, Lucy drives Kara home. The drive on the way there was accompanied by complete silence. Kara didn't know what to say or do. It was the first time Lucy had said Those three words. When they were in the garden, Kara was teary eyed since she felt so special and she didn't think she deserved it. Not when that morning, it wasn't Lucy's name that popped in Kara's mind when she thought about what she wished for. Kara felt bad because she was feeling so happy in Lucy's arms and she knows she loves lucy but why couldn't she say it back. She hates herself because Kara and Lena are finally in good terms and she has Lucy but that morning, like an addict in recovery, she had slipped up and had relapsed for a split second, thinking about Lena. But now she had brushed it off. It was nothing. She's here with Lucy now and that morning was just a moment of weakness.
The car stops in front of The building of Kara's apartment. They stayed idle for a moment before kara breaks the silence.
"Luce..." She whispers, looking at nothing specific, straight ahead. She sighs and turns to face Lucy.
Lucy smiles before facing Kara, cupoing her girlfriend's cheeks. "Happy Birthday, Kar"
Lucy passionately kisses Kara and that's when Kara understood the unspoken language between them. That what Lucy is trying to say is that it's alright if she couldn't say it back. Still, it doesn't change how bad Kara feels. Because no matter how badly she wants to, she just couldn't. Maybe not yet.
Kara was getting her keys from her bag when she sees Lena on her door step from afar. The raven haired was pacing trying to knock on the door but hesitating the last minute. When Lena finally decided she wont and would just leave instead, she turns her back and bumps to the person she was supposed to be visiting just now. There in front of her was Kara Danvers with eyebrows raised.
"Kara!" Lena exclaims. "What are you doing here?"
Kara laughs. Well because the universe really wants to mess with her. Just a while ago, she was thinking of Lucy and her 'relapse' moment this morning which was about Lena then boom Lena is here in front of her. "Well, this is my apartment isn't it?"
Lena looks at Kara's apartment door and realizes the mistake in her question.
"Yeah, ofcourse. Yeah" she waves her hand off. How could she act Like Kara right now? She is Lena Luthor. She should act like Lena Luthor.
Lena takes in a deep breath, putting herself together. She looks at her watch and then pulls Kara with her as she goes. "The day is not yet finished. We are going somewhere."
The next thing Kara knew is that they were right in front of her parents grave. Her biological mom and dad.
"Lenaaa..." Kara whispers, thankful for Lena that they were still able to do their yearly ritual. Alex didn't even know about this tradition.
Lena smiles as she looks at her watch.
"It's 11:49. Technically it's still your birthday. You still have 11 minutes with them."
"Lenaa.." Kara doesn't know what to say. Her tears starting to form.
Lena kisses Kara's head, rubbing her back. "Shhh. I'll leave you to it"
When Lena's out of sight, Kara sits down in front of her parents grave, tears start to flow.
"Mo..mom.. Dad. I, I, i miss you." Kara starts to whimper. "i miss you everyday and I wish you could have been here. I wish I could burry myself into your arms every time I get scared or hurt.. I wish i could tell you everyday how much I love you mom dad. I... I miss you and... It's still there mom, dad. It's still here.." Kara pokes her heart using her finger. "The void... It's still here mom. Dad. The void you left... And I... And i dont know if it will ever be gone... I dont know if ill ever feel not alone again mom, dad. Not left behind... Sometimes i.. I just need you.. And i miss you so much it...it hurts"
Kara whimpered as she continued talking to her parents. Every year, it has always been like this. She would spend some time talking to her parents while Lena would wait in the car. She would cry, mourn and grieve. She would feel it all over again. The loss of her parents and how she's left behind. But it would be all worth it, even just for a day, feeling her parents right there with her is always worth the pain it brings.
Kara sees Lena looking at her, leaning on the hood of the car. She jerks her head, asking Lena to come join her. Before Lena heads over to her though, she sees her best friend get something from the car.
"Hey." Lena whispers, handing a handkerchief to Kara, sitting beside her.
Kara leans on Lena's shoulder, clinging on her arms. "Thank you, Lena."
Lena rubs Kara's head, trying to comfort Kara. She then pulls out a box. Kara who was still leaning on Lena's shoulder stares at it. Lena opens it slowly, revealing the 2-layered necklace with the crescent moon pendant and a small star on both of its layers.
Lena picks it up with her palm "I know it's not the same with The one you lost when we were young. But it's close enough. I don't know, we could return it if you hate it."
Kara straightens up as she sees this. She remembers the necklace her parents gave her. The one she never took off. But this one time she did, she lost it. This devastated her. Kara and Lena tried everything to find it but they failed. It was a symbol of her parents' love for her. A symbol that her love of her parents were unmeasurable and wes beyond the starts and the moon. Beyond the galaxies. And now, seeing the replica, it brought back many memories with her parents at their used to be happy home and life. Memories, both good and bad. It was something she would always carry around her as a reminder and she couldn't thank Lena enough for this.
Lena puts it on Kara 's neck, tugging her hair aside.
"Lena.. I don't know how to... This.."
"When we were young we always thought about replacing it with a replica. But we couldn't afford it back then. I don't know why we haven't even thought about it these past few years"
Seeing Kara loved her gift makes Lena happy. Desoite being disappointed earlier in the morning, all Lena wanted was for Kara to have her moment with her parents. Lena wanted to give Kara something that would remind her of who she is. Who she has always been. A symbol of love faith and strength. She wanted Kara to have a piece of home. Of unconditional love. That's why Lena tried everything to get a replica of that necklace. Though Kara's eyes show the tears and the pain her best friend have endured in losing her parents, thiose blue eyes also show how strong Kara has been all along. Lena can't help but admire the beauty that is right in front of her. She can't help but admire how despite everything, Kara is still.... Kara.
and all Lena can think right now is for Kara to remain this happy all the time. All that Lena can think right now is to do everything not to cause Kara such tears as like this. Like the ones she had previously caused. All Lena could think about is to comfort her best friend, to make her feel safe, feel protected. To make her feel home and not left behind because Lena knows. Lena knows that despite the abundant amount of people in Kara's life, Kara still feels alone. Lena understands this because she feels the same way. Lena knows that despite everyone in Kara's life, her best friend is still scared. Kara is still scared that one day, people would be taken away from her just like what happened to her parents. And Lena hates herself for letting Kara feel that way in the past. Seeing Kara right now, all she wants is to give Kara the world because her best friend deserves it more than anyone. all she wants is to............... no,no,no, it can't be. I can't be....
"Lena.. It's.. It's beautiful... It's just like what they give me" kara says, looking at her necklace, touching it. "It even feels the same. I.."
Kara looks up at Lena, gazing at those addicting green eyes. "Tha..thank you, Lena. This.. This is the best."
Lena smiles at Kara and pulls her best friend closer, the blonde's head leaning again on Lena's shoulder. Kara holds her necklace, feeling her heart beat at the same time.
"You're the best"
Kara whispers, not letting Lena hear her as she closes her eyes. Her heart feeling so warm. This moment with Lena, right here, in front of her parents' grave, was simple. Nothing grand about it yet it's one she would definitely remember forever, one She would cherish in her heart forever.
Kara knows she is in a dangerous ground. She knows she should pull away and go home. She knows one wrong move and she might find herself in a 'relapse' again. But it's her birthday. She wants to have this one day, not thinking about anything, not trying to control everything.
So she doesn't pull away. She wants to have this one moment where she just sits here under the sky with Lena, with her parents and just be... Here.
"Happy Birthday, Kara" Lena whispers under the night sky.