your morbid fixation
The heat of the flames crackling in front of her is the only thing distracting Jude from shoving the blonde boy away from where he's sat at her side, just a little too close for her liking.
She holds up the mug Newt has just handed her, wrinkling her nose at the brownish translucent liquid jostling in it. "What in Hades' name is that." Her words are slow, disgust seeping through her question delivered like a statement.
Newt cocks his head questioningly at her words, and Jude has to remind herself for the sixth time in the past hour to hold her tongue with the half-blood slang. She doesn't acknowledge it, pretending to be too absorbed with the drink in her hand.
He doesn't press, thankfully, huffing out a laugh, as he shakes his head and throws back a gulp from his own glass. "No one knows. It's Gally's recipe."
"Well, now I'm sold." She mutters as she tips her glass over and lets the liquid seep into the grass. She doesn't mean for Newt to hear, but he does anyway, snickering as he watches her.
Nico, however, takes a tentative sip and immediately regrets it, judging by the way he lets his mug fall to the grassy ground with a thunk, liquid spilling into the soil. Curling his lip, he stands. "Gods, I need water."
With a brush of a shoulder, he turns in the direction of the kitchens, and another laugh bubbles out of Newt as he watches him go. Jude tunes him out mindlessly as she lets her gaze wander. The Gladers seem to be partying in full swing, with the bonfire roaring in the center of the crowd. Some of them stare at her as they pass, but she takes no notice, despite the way her skin crawls under their eyes.
Over the flickering flames, she notices a small group huddled together, about ten of them, all with running packs slung on their chests and glasses in their hands. They seem well-knit, immersed in loud conversation with the occasional outburst of a laugh or a cheer. Her eyes catch on Minho, lounging against a pile of firewood left to be thrown into the fire. The Asian boy has his head turned to talk to a blond boy at his side, who's gesticulating enthusiastically with his hands as he speaks. The flames flicker across his face, all sharp lines and hard angles. The glow of the bonfire catches on his dark hair, and Jude has the nonsensical and repeated urge to hit him. She looks away, feeling far too out of her depth for her liking.
Newt speaks up, jolting her back to the conversation as she straightens against the scratchy log at her back. "That was some stunt you pulled back at the Gathering, greenie." It's the first time he's acknowledging it, and Jude has to hold back a snort at his poor attempt at casual.
Demanding to appoint Nico a Runner alongside her had, admittedly, not been her greatest moment of tact, she recognizes in hindsight. Then again, Minho and Alby were both quite fixated on her being a Runner, and well. Jude saw the opportunity, and she ran with it. Besides, it had worked, hadn't it? She had her reasons, and she gave maybe half of them to the Council. Nico will be trained by Minho along with her, and she doesn't regret shit.
Nico hadn't even pretended to be miffed about her deciding without asking him. He gave her a squeeze of the wrist and moved on.
"You'll be thanking me in a while. Nico and I are the same. If you want me, you'll want him." She offers absentmindedly, threading her fingers through her hair.
Newt hums, taking another swig of his disgusting drink. Jude stares into the flames burning in front of them, resisting the insane urge to touch the fire. It's stupid, and ridiculous, and confusing, but they give her a sense of comfort, like she could lie down at the burning logs and the flames would part around her.
She grimaces at the thought. It's not exactly like she's pals with Hephaestus. Still, the feeling persists, and she has to look away.
There's a sort of ring set up a little to the right, and a major bulk of the crowd is gathered around it, watching and cheering as Gally slams an unfortunate boy with unfortunate bright red hair straight on his back inside it.
Jude scowls at the sight. Gally is big, strong, bulky, and nothing else. If any of the boys had an ounce of common sense and just a little bit more grace, Gally would be eating dirt.
Nico flops back down at her side, nose wrinkled as he kicks away his abandoned mug and settles down. His gaze falls to Gally, who has reverted to standing over the ginger boy and taunting him.
Jude exchanges mocking glances with Nico, and he opens his mouth to say something, but a loud voice interrupts him.
"Oi greenies! You wanna take a hit or two? Huh, shanks? Come on, you scared?" His enunciation of the last word triggers a series of laughs and jeers from the surrounding boys, and Nico's lip curls in annoyance and disgust.
Newt opens his mouth, probably to protest, judging from his irritated expression, but Jude cuts him off, not giving Gally a glance before looking at Nico pleadingly. "Please, Nico, just once, you know I can take him even injured, I'll only hurt him a little bit. Just once. I just need to-" She makes a twisting motion with her fist, grinning at Nico's exasperated face.
"Di immortales, Jude, you're going to get us in worse trouble than we're already in. You'll get the pair of us killed sooner or later, I swear. Shut up and let me have the pleasure of doing it."
Her grin widens as Nico stands and brushes off his dark shorts, shooting her a mischievous look. The jeers and shouts heighten as he looks at Gally and says "Alright."
He steps into the dusty makeshift ring, and the boys yell and laugh in glee. Gally sneers, already spewing taunts and hiking up his trousers around his calves as he eyes Nico.
Newt frowns, and he sounds both concerned and annoyed when he talks. "Right shucked in the head, he is, Gally. But apparently your brother is even more jacked, shank. Bloody hell, he'll be lucky if he's on his feet at the end of it."
Jude huffs out an amused breath, ignoring the curious look Newt gives her. "You're worried about the wrong guy, Blondie. Save some of your bloody hells for Gally over there."
####
Nightfall finds both Nico and Jude with their backs to the stone cold walls of the Slammer, legs sprawled out in front of them in a tangle of limbs. The rough cut stone building doesn't allow much moonlight through the barred and locked bamboo doorway, but it's still enough for Nico to see the way Jude's lip curls in distaste at how bare and haunted the cell looks. He huffs out a laugh, turning his head to look at Newt's retreating figure outside.
"I'm going to kill myself." Jude groans as she pulls her injured leg by his knee, and Nico wants to kill someone when he sees her flinch as she straightens it tentatively.
Nico doesn't reply, leveling her with a look to tell he's not going to be indulging in her dramatics today. "Tell me what really happened in the Maze."
Rolling her eyes, she obliges. Just as she starts to speak, though, her eyes widen, and she straightens so suddenly Nico finds him pulling himself up too, purely on instinct. His thumb catches on his ring. "What?" He asks, alarmed. His eyes dart around, glancing through the bamboo bars of the Slammer door.
Jude bites her lip. "Nothing. Just a really bad feeling. I don't know what the fuck that was." She relaxes, even as her frown deepens. He's surprised when she speaks up again."Greek. Just in case." Pausing for a second, he nods.
He understands what she's implying, immediately catching onto and sharing her caution. It's unlikely, but they're not taking any chances with a Glader listening in on the conversation. Even Italian could be a risk. Talking in a dead language like Ancient Greek is a much safer bet.
"It wasn't a lie. Almost all of it was true, actually. Just that I used my sword to defend myself. Well, actually," She pauses, running her tongue over her lower lip as she seemingly considers. "I didn't have my sword when the last Griever attacked me. I uh, I accidentally dropped it-"
"You what?" His spine shoots straight, and he has to hold back from grabbing his sister and shaking her because what the fuck?
Jude winces, and she must see something in his face, because she immediately rushes to finish. "I know, I know, Nico, I'm sorry, it was stupid, and against literally everything we've ever done, I know, okay? I didn't even realise until the walls closed, which, saying that out loud sounds even worse, but it's fine, because I really did use the Griever's spike to kill it, so nothing happened, really, and my ring returned, so it's fine." She raises her hand, slipping her ring off her finger to show him.
"Still," Nico insists, "How the fuck did you. . ." He trails off as he slumps against the wall and runs a hand over his face. "Gods of Olympus, you're such an idiot, Jude."
She huffs, ignoring the dig. Shifting, she moves forward, visibly making sure to keep her right leg as stiff as possible, moving over to Nico's side and dropping her head onto his knees. "Move over," She grunts as he rolls his eyes but sits up to let her lay her head in his lap. "My shoulder is killing me. Besides, we need to talk, and I'm not sure you're gonna like it."
He doesn't reply, just gives her a frown that prompts Jude to speak. "Our powers. They're gone. Well, not gone. Just . . stifled. Muffled, like somethings suppressing it. And obviously, a mortal couldn't have done that." She frowns."The Gods are involved. Or atleast, a God."
Nico sighs. "I figured. Not the exact thought process, but yeah."
"Thought so. But the thing is, why? What the fuck would the Gods get by doing this? To their own children?"
Nico raises an eyebrow. "You know they don't really give a fuck about us."
Jude grumbles, wincing when her shoulder shifts. "Yeah, yeah."She cranes her head up to look at him. "Okay. What do we know?"
She does this, he knows. Puts things in a list whenever she's in a situation. Pros and Cons, Do's and Dont's, Known and Unknown, Priorities, Goals. Anything and everything that can be inspected, picked apart, and organised is put into boxes and listed.
He hums, spinning his ring on his finger. "We know atleast one God is involved in whatever this is. We know our powers are probably temporarily repressed."
A blanket of silence settles over them before Jude sighs. "We know close to nothing. The Unknown list could go on for miles."
Nico scowls, feeling the frustration rise in him. "Well, whatever little we do remember, it has to mean something. Will, Bianca, Piper, Annabeth, Percy, Leo, Hazel, Frank, Reyna, Thalia."He pauses. "Did I miss any?"
She tenses, scowling at the low stone ceiling. Even in the dim moonlight, Nico can see the way the skin around her eyes stiffens, dark hair spread over his knees. "Jason."
"Right. What about that? If I had to guess, I'd say they're probably people from our past life. Probably . . probably half-bloods, like us. Friends, maybe."
She doesn't reply, just grits her teeth and inhales sharply. It's only when she moves, pushing herself up to sit against the wall, that Nico realises she's in pain.
"Fuck," He says, reverting to English momentarily before he catches himself, clambering to sit on his heels, hands ghosting over her shoulder. "Jude?"
She only shakes her head, pulling him by the forearm to sit back. "I'm fine. It's fine. Just pain." She exhales deeply, giving him a thin smile that fails miserably in convincing him. "Actually, for such a primitive lifestyle and such poor resources, these Med-Jacks are pretty fucking good at their job."
He shoots her an unconvinced look, but obliges to sit back against the wall again. "You should sleep."
She doesn't seem to be listening, head turned to watch the deathly silence of the Glade, lit by moonlight. The only sound that emanates from the enclosed plain is a slight creaking from the large wooden Homestead. By the far side, on the other end, the edge of the sparse forest is littered with hammocks and sleeping bags. There's virtually no wind, and every blade of grass in the field in entirely too still to pass as natural.
"Jude ? "
"Yeah ?"
"I'm sorry."
Her head snaps around in an instant, eyes flaring and finding his in the haunting darkness.
"What? Nico, what the fuck for?"
He cringes with his entire body, squeezing his eyes shut. "I couldn't get to you in time. If I hadn't hesitated for a second when the Doors started closing, I probably would have made it out the Doors with-"
"Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, Nico. That wasn't your fault, alright?" Her hands close on his shoulders, and when he opens his eyes, her green eyes are so fierce he almost believes her. "It doesn't matter. There's no guarantee we would've gotten out even with the both of us either. We'll deal with it. I don't blame you for a second, alright?" She waits for his resigned nod before her hands drop from his shoulders, and she spares him a look before letting her head fall back against the wall. "Styx, Nico."
"Alright, alright." He slumps against the wall too, curling up on the floor. He reverts back to English, exhaustion creeping in like rats under the door. "We should sleep."
"We'll have plenty of time for it tomorrow, stuck in this prison." Jude grumbles, her point entirely undermined by the way she pushes herself off the wall to settle on her side on the cold floor, tugging the collar of her now changed and clean shirt up to bite down on it.
The corners of his mouth tick up at the sight. Jude looks up and catches onto his amused expression, and she wordlessly gives him the finger before reaching out with her good leg to kick his shin. With a huffed out laugh that quickly morphs into a grunt, he makes a face at her before turning over and letting the exhaustion wash over him.
####
Both greenies are still sleeping when Minho and Alby painstakingly manage to steer clear of all the other Gladers to make it to the Slammer, and Minho would be distracted by the fact that they're both knocked straight out despite the sun mere minutes away from setting if his mind wasn't absolutely reeling.
It doesn't take much to wake the two. In fact, the second Alby crouches in front of the barred door, both Jude and Nico jolt and sit up, wary eyes blinking away the remnants of sleep. Alby startles a little, but he recovers quickly, his voice taking on a sense of urgency as he plants both hands on the bamboo bars of the door. "Rise and shine, shanks. You'll wanna hear this."
Minho doesn't miss the way Jude's eyes flit to him, crouching at Alby's shoulder. Something cold runs up his spine when her green eyes narrow in almost hostility. She looks about a second away from baring her teeth. She turns her head, eyes tracking onto her brother within a second, and shuck, Minho almost thinks he imagined it.
She's looking at Nico, and Minho notices he's gripping her wrist, something in his face he can't quite decipher. She's scowling, but her brother doesn't seem to mind this. Minho understands, because Jude's scowl is actually quite pretty, and-
"We didn't find any dead Grievers in the Maze."
####
Jude is about a second from exploding.
It's been barely ten minutes since Newt relieved Nico of his prison and carted him away to dinner, and Jude already wants to scream. Without Nico here to keep her mind occupied, she has nothing to do but stare at the barren wall in front of her and repeatedly consider putting her head through it.
Ever since Alby and Minho came by to tell them what they found in the Maze -or rather, what they didn't find- and simultaneously ruin of all Jude's chances of sleeping for the next week, she's been bouncing off the walls with nothing but a single loose rock to keep her hands busy.
It was all there. The Griever slime, blood, whatever the fuck it is, the broken Griever claw. Even what Minho said must've been her own blood. And no bodies. Not a single one of the dead Grievers.
"What the fuck," Jude groans out loud, flinging the pebble at the wall and letting it clatter to the ground to drop her head into her hands and let loose a string of curses in Italian enough to make a grown man shiver.
According to Alby, they'd checked all the passages she'd described, and even the entire section of the Maze that was open yesterday, which is something Minho said he'd explain in due time. Nico indulged in her brainstorming until Newt showed up, keys jingling in his hand and a smile on his lips. Newt hadn't mentioned anything about Minho and Alby's discoveries in the Maze, but she's fairly certain he knows, if the way his eyes seemed to linger on her almost questioningly was anything to go by.
It can't be possible. Shouldn't be. She killed those monsters, she knows she did. They couldn't have just . . . disappeared. Then again, it feels like everything in this place led back to the words 'that's impossible,' so really, she should've stopped being surprised about a millennium ago.
Nico said he'd come back after dinner, after all the other boys had gone to bed, but it'll be a while, if the noise and bustle from the kitchens is anything to go by. When she'd gotten her verdict back at the Gathering, Jude had thought two weeks in prison would be nothing for her. She is, however, incredibly alarmed and distressed to find that she's about halfway to insane just from spending about a day in the Slammer.
Jude has half a mind to knock herself out so she can force herself to sleep, but really, all she wants to do is figure things out. She can't, of course, seeing as she has absolutely nothing to go by, but the prickling feeling in her throat and chest feels like thorns rushing up her windpipe, crowding behind her teeth and choking her, slow to draw blood but fast to kill, and she wants to do something. Get out of this prison, for starters, but even Jude has enough of a sense of self-preservation to know where to skim the line. She's never been the kind of person to wait around for her problems to fix themselves, she knows. She may have lost all her memories, but it doesn't erase her sense of self.
In the end, she resorts to sitting up against the wall with her head turned up to the night sky as she whispers anything and everything on her mind to the stars in rapid-fire Italian.