Walking up Vulnerable
When Eren woke the next morning later than he had been the last three weeks on the military base. He was comfortable and well rested which were two very big red flags in Eren's mind. His eyes snapped open and he tired to sit up, key word being tried.
“Brat stay still, I haven't gotten an actual day off in over 2 years” A very deep and gravely voice still veiled in sleep. The sound of the voice made the memories of the night before come flooding back to Eren's conscious mind. He remembered Levi carrying him through the castle and up into their now shared room. Levi had been scolding Eren for his behavior while making sure he ate a real meal for the first time in a long time. After the strong and very concerned talking to Levi proceeded to remove his shirt and Eren was pretty sure he blacked out a little because the next thing he remembered was Levi in nothing but a low pair of pajama pants and already halfway into the bed next to Eren. Eren also remembered nothing after Levi curled up next to him and pulled his head to Levi's very strong chest. “For someone who fainted at the sight of my shirtless torso you are surprisingly active this morning.” Eren could hear the obvious smirk in the older man's teasing tone. The still gravely voice didn't stop the younger from shooting a glare at the still seemingly sleeping man. “You are glaring at me aren't you? That is cute considering this was the first time you actually slept in almost 3 weeks.”
“You are a jerk.”
“This is the real me Brat not some media version or dreamy fairy tale. You have only one more chance to tell me that you want to stop from going any further because I am a selfish man and if I get any more attached to you then I already am I would have to be dead to let you go. I am a killer Eren, a real monster. I have been known for being a sarcastic asshole and have a case of cleaning OCD that makes me think most hospitals are disgusting. I have a hard time opening up or showing emotions and I have seen more horror in the time before I joined the scouts than the average person will ever see in their entire life. I am a total hard ass but I also an outlaw when it comes to sticking to my morals and ethics. I can be insatiable as well as unstable. I have a lot of problems and many that will never go away. Do you want to run while you still can?”
“Why won't you tell me this with your eyes open?”
“Because I honestly wouldn't be able to ask you while I look at you, while I can see your eyes that hide nothing. And if you were to leave right now I wouldn't be able to watch you walk away from me. Nor would I made you feel any guilt by watching me break. I can do a lot of thing, I can handle a lot of pain. I have been shot and showed no pain, I have watched many comrades die before me and never shed a tear in the company of another, but I would not be able to hide what you do to me if you walk away. I don't want to guilt you into staying but I also can not lie to you about what it would do to me. I promised to be honest with you. You would be the first person to break my heart by walking away and willingly leaving me, not dying like my family, but choosing that you do not want me. I am not sure how long it would take me to recover from that or at least to be able to hide it from everyone else.”
“Please look at me Levi.” The uncertain and pained tone in Levi's now very away voice was breaking Eren's heart, Levi was being so vulnerable and Eren doubted the raven would willingly let anyone else see him like this if any one ever had at all. Eren placed his hand on Levi's slightly stubbly chin, Eren would remember to tell Levi that he liked stubble on the man later. The amount of unguarded emotion in those gun metal eyes. “Levi it is already to late for me to leave. Not that I would leave someone as wonderful as you. You say such horrible things about yourself but from what I have seen and learned in the last 3 weeks you are even more amazing then the media or my mother ever said, there is so much they missed. Besides that Hanji explained to me the day we came here that because of my wolf genes and the other things my father did to me I have only one shot for this in my life. My wolf genes mixing with my human genes mixing with the mommy gene say that my first love is my only love, and my first partner is my only partner that I can convince a child with. I have had a crush on you since I was a child, you were my hope as I got older, and now that I have known you I have had the chance to finally actually fall in love with you. It has always been you and only you. I am incredibly happy with you Levi and I want to be able to fall more in love with you if you will let me. I prefer the Levi Ackerman who is a stoic, sarcastic bastard with a cleaning problem and a potty mouth then Levi Ackerman, Humanities Strongest Solider. I will take a monster, a killer, a scared person because I am also all those things. I have no idea about what personality quirks I will have because I have never been a normal person but I will do what I can to make sure I am worthy of you.”
“What are you talking about? There is nothing...”
“Levi don't. You know as well as I that I could turn into an annoying brat or a horrible person, or worse the savage creature that my father wanted.”
“Annoying brat I can handle, Horrible person is something you will never be nor some savage creature. If you haven't become one by now there is nothing that could happen to change you. If you had been at all dangerous or psychopathic like your father this, what we are doing, would never happen. From the letter, to the warning, everything you have done since we have met, even helping heal people on the training field which I did hear about. If you were anything like how your father wanted you to be we would have met on the battle field instead of in my bed. I would kill you instead of making you comfortable and healthy. Instead here we are with you being absolutely stunning with the personality of a god damn saint and me trying my damnedest not to hurt you in anyway, which usually I don't care about.” Levi reached up to pull Eren back down to his chest, so that the younger was listening to the comforting heart beat of the older, even if it was faster and louder than normal. “I could easily wake up every morning like this, never thought I would have the opportunity or if I did I would actually appreciate it, though it would kill my military career. But on the other side Armin makes Erwin start later in the day when we are on base maybe I could do the same.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“My superior officer Erwin, aka Commander Eyebrows, has a tiny husband named Armin, aka mushroom, and Armin, the sneaky little bugger makes the living giant Erwin start later in the day and come home earlier at night so that not only does he get to wake up at normal people times but in the arms of his husband and he gets to have evenings with his husband as well. Erwin is a doting man when it comes to his husband.”
“Can he really do that?”
“Since they have one of the family houses and are married they get to. We only have one married couple in the scouts. Since the scouts get the short end of most sticks they gave us about 10 family houses with 4 bedrooms each which is pretty big considering our life expectancy out here. They tried to make something good out of the horrible lives we have out here.”
“Would we get one?”
“Already planning that far ahead are you? If we ever end up getting married we probably would get one of the houses.”
“If?”
“Hey give me some time alright. I never thought that I would be in an actual relationship let alone with marriage as a possibility. “
“Fine then what are you thinking now?”
“Give me some actual time Eren. I am having feelings that I have never had before and they are being amplified by your pheromones. I am not saying that if you didn't call for me we wouldn't end here, hanji has explained to me we would have as long as we would have met, it would have just taken longer. Give me time to adjust. The pull I feel for you is fucking me up in some of the best ways, but a lot of them are terrifying for me.”
“And you think I am used to this, just because I have had a crush on you for years doesn't mean I was expecting what happened when you walked in the room.”
“You have at least known of me, dreamed of me, and prayed that I would one day help you like a knight in shinning armor. I have known that you were still alive for 3 weeks, before you were the poor kid on the news that everyone assumed was dead because of your crazy father. Levi sighed. “At least you had a crush on me before you met me in real life, I walked in the room and almost fell on my knees for you.”
“Oh your poor knees.” Eren sat up enough for Levi to see the look in those green eyes. “Well levi what are you thinking about me now?” Levi saw hoe blown out those beautiful eyes were and knew exactly what Eren meant.