Chapter 2
“And we can’t win” the words echo in her head. “What the fuck do you mean we can’t win,” she says anger dripping in her voice “And who the hell is planning this war you speak of” she feels her self-control slipping from her reach, and her face reddens with anger. She paces up and down the room like she did in the war tent all those months ago. “We don’t know yet” Lexa sounds from behind her. “You don’t know who is trying to kill us but you already know we can’t win?” she says semi-sarcastically. Clarke can hear the sharp intake of Lexa’s breathe behind her alarming her she should watch her words, but honestly, Clarke could care less right now. She killed more than 300 human-beings for the wellbeing of her people and now four months later someone is killing all of them anyway.
“Clarke” the soft sound of her name fuels her anger, and she turns abruptly but immediately stumbles a few steps back. While lost in thoughts Lexa had come down from the throne and is now standing few feet before her. Lexa's beauty astounds her every time, and it's even worse up close. "Pacing isn't going to help us win this war." Compassion reflects in Lexa's eyes, Clarke isn't sure if Lexa is so comfortable with her that she shows her emotions or that Clarke just can see right through her. "Well, what is?" she snarls back at her. The anger she saved up the last four months is quickly forming into words ready to spill. "Join me, become the thirteenth clan and accede to the coalition." A weird sound escapes her mouth, a sort combination between a laugh and cry, "Join YOU? You left me there Lexa. I TRUSTED you, and you left me there to DIE. My mother almost DIED because you LEFT me" She knows that's not entirely the truth because her mother almost died because she killed Cage's father. "I did what was right for my people." "Sure you did." Her hands' tingle and all she wants to do is punch Lexa in the face. "I want to stay here and hear everything about this threat." She says although it wasn't much a question. Lexa nods solemnly "The guards will show you your room." The same guard that led her to the throne room walks into the room and bows to Lexa. "Heda." He says in a low, respectful voice. Lexa nods shortly to the guard "Show Klark Kom Skaikru to her room." The man rises and beckons her over, just before they walk out of the room she turns around. "Lexa, this doesn't mean I forgive you" she pauses shortly "not even close." before Clarke closes the door she could see the wave of hurt flash over Lexa's face.
The guard that showed her to her room didn't speak the whole way. She tried various approaches like "How long do you work for the commander?" or "Do you live in the tower or down in the city?" she even tried "Hi, how are you?" but the man didn't say a word. After a few minutes, she gave up in trying to talk to the guard. Instead, she focused on what she saw. She noticed that there were a lot more guards in the tower than she initially thought, not only were there a lot of guards there were also lots of ordinary people living in the tower. She saw an older woman eating in something like a dining room. There was a young boy playing hide and seek with a girl. And she swears she heard a couple having sex.
She guesses they walked for 7 minutes when they finally arrived at a big room. "I guard outside when you leave I follow, I am your guard personal." Although his English was a little rocky, she was glad that her companion could speak. "Thank you..?" For a moment he just stood there with a questioning look on his face, "Oh, Nabu, My name Nabu." She smiles at him "Thank you Nabu." Carefully she pushes the wooden doors open.
She was expecting a little room with a small bed and maybe a few drawers where she can dump her stuff. Instead, she was greeted by an enormous room. She takes a few steps inside and closes the door behind her. The first thing to grab her attention is the queen sized bed most on the right. There are several furs sprawled across it and an object which probably serves as a pillow. On the opposite side of the bedroom is a desk with paper and coal on it, and there is a closet. When she opens the closet, there are several pieces of clothing for all kind of occasions. In the center of the room is a couch with a small coffee table. When she turns around the corner near the bed, she sees to her surprise a bathroom, with a toilet and even a bath.
Clarke quickly changes into something more comfortable and fresh and heads out the door. “Can you bring me to Le-Heda?” She asks Nabu, he merely nods. Instead of going back to the throne room they go down with the ’elevator.' Behind the tower is a huge training ground, where a large group of children is training. At first, she is confused why Nabu took her here but then she sees Lexa in the middle of the group, teaching them? Is Lexa a teacher?
“Pair up and practice the exercise I just showed” Lexa walks up to them. “Clarke, Nabu” Where Nabu bows deep for his heda, Clarke just nods. “When are the meetings?” She asks “I want to be there” “Nabu will bring you to the meetings” Clarke eyes her “That’s not an answer to my question, I asked when they are not how to get there,” she says irritated. “Nabu will know” Nabu nods beside her “Sha.”
Suddenly there is a cry from behind Lexa. All three of them speed to the group of children to see what is wrong. “Aden, what happened” Lexa barks at a blonde guy who towers above a fallen girl who Clarke guesses is not much above the age of four. “I don’t know Heda, she was training when she just fell” Behind Aden’s back is a little girl hiding who shyly shuffles forward “Heda,” she says timidly. Lexa looks up, and her eyes immediately soften when she sees who spoke to her. “What is it, Leila?” Leila stares at her feet “Zanne was my partner but” slowly she looks to Lexa “I wasn’t paying attention, and I accidentally hit her, and that’s why she fell” She says in one breath. “Can I look?” she asks the fallen girl softly. The girl, with tears in her eyes, nods softly. She squats before the girl and softly grabs her leg which has a big cut in it.
She pushes with her fingers on the red skin to see the little girls reflexes and pain. She rips apart of her shirt and ties it around the cut. “It will heal on its own,” She coos to the little girl. When she stands up again, she can see Lexa openly gazing at her. “I’ll see you at the meetings Heda” She deliberately choose Lexa’s formal title, Clarke is not stupid she knows Lexa was staring at her boobs, and she hates herself for the fact that she doesn’t mind Lexa staring at her chest. “Nabu, can you lead me back to my room?” She asks.
Just when she closes the door behind her, she hears a sharp knock. “Yes, Na...Oh hello?” Instead of Nabu, there is a tall bald man with a rope before her door. Rather then asking if he could come in he pushes himself trough the door, walks a bit further in the room and then twirls around. “Titus,” He says in a deep, strict voice. “I’m Clarke,” She says insecurely, in her head she has gone over almost all scenarios why he is here. “I know” he grumbles. “Um why are you here then?” she carefully tries. He eyes her with amusement and hate although she doesn’t have any idea where either comes from. “Because of Lexa” her eyebrows shoot up, and her heartbeat picks up rate. “Is something wrong with Lexa” She immediately scolds herself internally for sounding so worried. “No, Lexa is strong,” he says accusingly. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, but nothing comes out. He takes a few steps forward “Love is weakness, stay away from her.” Love? Does Lexa love her? Does she love Lexa? Does it even matter? She may be mad at Lexa, but she is furious with this man. “Love is strength if you have no one to love and no one loves what do you have to lose?” Titus just looked at her like she set fire to water. He takes another step forward “She killed her parents as part of her ascension, if you stay around that will be for nothing, Stay away from Lexa.” She stopped listening after ‘she killed her parents,' Clarke is having a hard time living without her father and just imagining her killing hem is unbearable. He again takes a step forward, they now nose to nose, from the corner of her eye she can see him fisting his hand. Before she can say anything the door swings open and Lexa walks in, she doesn’t say anything but stands right beside him. Slowly Titus unclenches his hands and walks out the door without a word.
“Clarke, I am so sorry about that, I- I will leave now,” Lexa says weakly. “Lexa, did you kill your parents?” She can’t think of a way to bring it more sympathetic. Lexa swallows audible, “Yes” Before she knows it it’s too late “Can you tell me about it?” Lexa seemingly just as surprised as she nods softly. Clarke gestures over to the couch. They both sit awkwardly down next to each other, both making sure they don’t touch.
“Um well,” Lexa hesitantly started “I lived in VelBR, but at my sixth birthday, guards of Heda brought me to Polis.” She folds her hands nervously in her front of her, “They trained me there for my ascension, that is when Heda dies and all the nightbloods fight to become the next Heda.” Lexa explained nervously, "I won the ascension, and um to eliminate any weaknesses a heda is to have no family" Lexa's voice cracked a few times, and she awkwardly cleared her throat. "I made some preparations in case I would win the ascension. I had sent Anya to warn my parents and told them to run, but my parents weren't home that day" A tear streaks wordlessly down Lexa's cheek. "My siblings were able to run, but when my parents came home, they were captured and to finish I had to k-kill the-em." Lexa stutters, halfway the story Clarke started crying. She could imagine a young Lexa in full armor having to kill her parents. "What about your siblings?" Clarke squeaks out. A big smile appears on Lexa's face, "They're alive after I killed my parents I became Heda, and my first order was to stop looking for my siblings and that the next Heda doesn't have to kill their family." The happiness that comes off of Lexa makes her happy too. "So where are they?" Clarke asks. "They live in a house downtown, but you saw my brother already, Tomac? He was the guy in the throne room with the long brown hair." Clarke thinks about the man, his long brown hair does resemble with Lexa's, and their green eyes are almost the same.
"Yeah, what did he whisper to you before he left?" Clarke asks curiously. Lexa's cheeks flush "Nothing" she almost whispers. Which makes Clarke even more curious but she doesn't push. They sit in silence for a while before Lexa stands up "I think I should get going" Lexa murmurs and walks towards the door. "Goodnight Clarke" And she is gone, a few seconds after Lexa left, Clarke blows out the last candles and crawls into bed. She stares at the ceiling, she wants to be mad at Lexa, God she wants to hate Lexa, but she doesn't. Ironically she knows she would do the same and that's why Clarke can't hate Lexa for what she did because no matter how much it hurts, she would have done the same. So that's why she quietly whispers in the dark "Goodnight Leksa."