it feels like there's oceans between me and you
Martin is lounging on the couch, reading a book Julia forced him to look into. It’s something from Brakebills she thought may be useful, but she’d be lying if this wasn’t more about a distraction. She can only take so many hours of him him singing those impossible fucking showtunes around the apartment.
It’s odd, that something so trivial would be the thing she hates most about him, but maybe it’s easier for her to focus on that then anything else about this screwed up mess.
He still finds a way to hum every few chapters, though.
She blows out a deep breath through her nose and grabs her purse. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t leave the apartment.”
He answers in the form of a dismissive wave of his hand and she can’t reach for the door fast enough.
She barely has time to register what is happening when she bumps into something in her rush out the door, closing it behind her. There’s a slur of apologies on the tip of her tongue that get lodged in her throat when she looks up and sees Kady staring back at her.
“Hey, I was just about to knock.” A pause. “Sorry.”
The word holds more weight in the thick silence between them, the two syllables carrying too many connotations that Julia isn’t ready to face. It’s suddenly too much at once, too much to deal with - too much to admit. It’s an acknowledgement in the flesh of something she’s been pushing away for too long.
Kady stares at her, letting Julia make the next move, and despite Julia’s desire to run away from everything that look is telling her she stands rooted to the spot. It’s enough to catch Kady’s attention, immediate realization washing over her face.
“Um, can we not do this here?” Kady glances around the hallway, eyes dancing between the doors as if a nosy neighbour is about to emerge at a moment’s notice. “Let’s talk. But, inside.”
Still unable to answer, Julia stands still as Kady makes her way past and into the apartment. Her brain quickly catches up with her body but she’s too late - Kady has already opened the door.
“Back already? And here I was imagining I’d get the apartment to myself for the afternoon.”
Kady stands still. Freigteningly still as she locks eyes with Martin splayed across the couch in the living room. It’s barely noticeable, but Julia watches the way Kady shifts her body to put a wall between them.
“Julia.” Her tone is low and chilling. “Stand back.”
She’s unsure how Kady knows who he is. From everything she’s been told he’d kept his identity a secret, the use of the overdramatic moths he’s become so fond of. But maybe Kady doesn’t need to have seen his face. Maybe when someone tries to take your life you can just feel something akin to unfinished business vibrating off of them.
It hits her that Kady is about to unleash battle magic and in a wave of adrenaline and stupidity Julia launches herself in front of her. As much as she hates it, she needs him in order for her plan to work. She’s not going to let anyone or anything get in her way now.
“Julia.” It’s somewhere between a warning and a plea and before Julia fucks this up any more she grabs Kady by the elbow and drags them out of the apartment.
She closes the door behind them. Locks it. Kady won’t stop looking at her like she’s a stranger.
“Do you know who the fuck that is?”
“Yes. I -” She straightens up, tries to sound as confident as possible. “I made a deal with him.”
Kady gawks at her, equal parts confusion and disgust, enough judgement to make something twist in Julia’s gut. In response, she makes herself look as tall as she can. Julia usually finds ease taking up space bigger than she is, filling it with her strong will and large ideas. But now? In front of Kady? She feels small and almost cowers under the weight of the concern in Kady’s eyes.
“A deal.”
“Yes.”
Kady raises her eyebrows. “With the man who has been trying to kill us all.”
There’s a sudden rush of anger in her chest, and she shoves past Kady, making her way down the hall.
“You don’t get it.”
She doesn’t give her a chance to respond, too hellbent on getting away. Away from Kady. Away from empty explantaions. Away from all of this.
Kady - as usualy - has no interest in following her rules.
She ignores the burn on her wrist as Kady grabs at her to stop her from running away. She wonders how long touches will remain tainted for, if it becomes a dull hum or if it will always feel like acid against her skin.
“Stop. C’mon. Julia, wait.”
She whips her head to stare at her, unaware at how close they’d be. Kady looks down at her, the expression on her face softer than moments before. And in another world it may have meant something. In another world she may have wanted it to mean something.
But this is her world now and the rules have changed. Indefinitely. So, as per her new habit, she pushes it down as much as she can.
“Why are you here?”
“I didn’t know where to go, so I found myself back at Marina’s.” Julia flinches at the name, but if Kady notices she doesn’t bring it up. “She told me she saw you.”
Julia looks down and shifts away, opting to allow herself to melt into the wall behind her. If she tries hard enough maybe she can disappear.
She can feel Kady lean beside her before she speaks again. “That was three weeks ago.”
“Well, I wasn’t ready to come back yet.”
“But you did.” Julia looks over at her. “You came back.”
It’s Kady’s turn to look away. “Yeah.” She takes in a deep breath. “So, what’s the plan?”
A soft laugh bubbles up past Julia’s lips. It’s so unfamiliar lately that it almost suprises her.
“That’s it? Just gonna jump right in?”
Julia watches as Kady just shrugs and it’s a good enough answer for her. They stand against the wall for a moment before Kady grabs for her hand, squeezes tight.
Julia closes her eyes at the soft burn; less like acid this time and more like the warmth of the rising sun.