love me when it storms, love me when i fall
“Jesus fucking Christ. You scared the shit out of me.”
The thunder was loud enough to wake her, but it was the sight of Kady awkwardly hovering by the end of the bed that startled her enough to make her heart jump out of her chest.
It’s dark, almost too dark for Julia to see her, but there’s enough light from the moon and intermittent flashes of lightning to see Kady staring down at her with what can only be interpretted as cautionary pity.
“Uh,” Kady shifts a little bit, hesitates, “You were talking in your sleep again.”
Julia lies in silence.
More shifting. A pause. “Thought it might be another of your…y’know.”
(It’s dark, almost too dark for Kady to see her, but Julia still sets her face in the most put-together way she can muster.)
“I’m fine.”
“I know.”
There’s no hesitation this time, and it’s the kind of thing Julia can appreciate despite never being able to admit it out loud to her.
There’s nothing left to say, really, so when Kady slowly takes the few soft steps and climbs into bed next to her, she doesn’t object. After a beat, Kady slowly wraps an arm around Julia’s waist, hesitant and gentle.
“Is this okay?”
She can’t find it inside of herself to say anything, so Julia just nods a few times and when she feels Kady’s arm settle with less caution she knows she heard her.
They lie like that for a few moments before she can feel the full weight of everything sitting heavy on top of her. It’s been a long time since she’s depended on anyone and even the thought of that sneaks down and wraps itself around her chest, choking ever-so-slightly and making it almost impossible to breathe.
“I’m scared of lightning storms.”
The soft whisper cuts something in the air and Julia takes that space to finally breathe in a long breath. She takes in a few more before Kady continues.
“It’s dumb. My mom was always out doing shit for God knows what and I was left home a lot. It was scary as a kid. Still is, I guess - even now knowing all of this magic shit. Kinda helps me remember that magic can’t fix everything. Which sounds fucked up, but whatever.”
They lie in silence and Julia tries to imagine a small Kady curled up under blankets at home alone, no one around to quell her fears. Despite growing up with her parents and sister, Julia completely understands.
Julia stares at the ceiling, ignoring the way she can feel Kady staring at her expectantly. She can’t take the implication of it and turns her body away in an attempt to escape; it ends up backfiring because all it does is invite Kady to tuck around her a little tighter. Like most attempts to run, she fails.
(In the dreams she’s always running, running, running, but ends up in the same place. Always the same room. Always the same people. Always the same outcome. Quentin would call it her own personal Groundhog Day hell.)
“You don’t need to protect me.”
“Yeah. I figured.”
She can feel Kady reach up and lace their fingers together, the pressure cracking a little inside of her.
“Kady-”
“It’s the storm. This is more for me than you. And don’t tell anyone about that story because I’ll just deny it.”
Julia clenches her eyes shut and tries to listen for anything in her voice resembling the truth, but it’s so late and Kady’s hand is warm in hers and it’s actually kind of comfortable. She can try and figure this out another day.
Kady’s voice is soft in her ear, “Let’s try to get some sleep.”
(It’s dark, almost too dark, but before Julia turned away it was just light enough to see the calm look on Kady’s face - free of judgement, free of expectations. When Julia closes her eyes, the thought of it lifts a little bit of that weight off of her chest.)