The Great Yet Lonely Modern Art
It didn't rain on Krypton.
It was sterile and still and unforgiving under a glaring red sun, and it did not rain, not where things were so simple and clear cut and steady. Earth is messy.
And on Earth, it is raining.
Raining hard in the dark of the night, clamoring and loud and empty enough so that the night could just as easily swallow Kara and no one might ever notice. Black holes.
Blurred edges of the great yet lonely everything, cold air and flooding streets, all sliding down around Kara as she sits on the edge of a picnic table in a park she’s never been to before.
Pouring holy floods beat down upon Kara, and if she didn't know better she wouldn't pin such a lifelessness upon them; they feel purposeful, they feel angry and tragically alive. But that's sort of stupid. She knows that.
She just wishes it wasn't so loud- louder and louder, the chaotic noise goes on a rampant incline. It increases, harder and harder, until you'd think it couldn't go much further, think it'd calm back down again, but it doesn't. Golf ball sized chunks of ice join easily and it sounds frightening, almost.
The sky illuminates to purple and Kara flinches as the sky scars in a searing luminescence, then fades back down again. But next is worse.
Next comes thunder, rolling and long winded and ever so close, and it sounds like the world is splitting in two, like the sky is cracking apart in the crease the lightning left, such fire in the sky, and oh, is it ever so apocalyptic, this second world, second everything being destroyed in front of Kara at God knows when in the morning.
The storm feels like pain and repentance, like listlessness and guilt and needing to sleep. Like a shaking in Kara's core, a coldness in her lungs, and her eyelids are heavy and long for sleep that is always fitful and plagued by personal storms that end in a cold sweat and trying to keep quiet for the sake of the people who take her in so selflessly, then slipping out a window and ending up in somewhere so utterly foreign.
And it probably doesn’t mean that much, but even so, Kara feels petrified where she stands.
But, oh, better things must be coming- things that are so much easier said than done, things that sometimes leave a burning in Kara's throat late at night, the light things, the happy things, the 'just being a kid' things when she could be doing more.
She shakes her head and it aches. Better things, better things are coming. Weekends and parties and better things than being alone so early in the morning. But Kara needs some sleep, all she really needs is some sleep. And then it'll be all right.
"I'm not late," Kara waves her arm feebly as she steps into first period on the very last second of 7:59. Her hair is vaguely damp, which will hopefully appear to be from an early morning shower, and not an early morning traipse into the rain. What the hell does the word traipse mean, anyways? Whatever, Kara can save questions like that for English class.
Lena greets Kara with a smirk from her seat as Kara sets her things down, then sits beside her. "Have you considering leaving for school a few minutes earlier?" Lena suggests.
"Oh, hush," Kara laughs slightly as their teacher begins passing out busywork.
"If you're late tonight I'll be utterly offended," Lena teases.
"I won't be, I promise," Kara rests her head on her hands. "Oh, is it, like, formal? Like, is there a dress code? For the dance?" Kara mumbles.
Lena pauses, then smiles deviously. "Yes, there absolutely is." (This is a lie. Lena is a dirty liar. A dirty liar with absolutely no remorse.)
Hey, just because they're friends now doesn't mean Lena can't have any fun.
"Danvers." More of a statement than a greeting, but it comes with warm eyes and a smile, so Alex will absolutely take it.
"Hey."
"Ready for initiation tonight?" Maggie asks with a tilt of her head.
"Initiation?" Alex raises her eyebrows.
"You're not truly part of the school 'till you get trashy drunk at a football game that we're losing," Maggie shrugs. Alex sits down beside her, settling into her desk.
"The trashy drunk part, that I can do, but what if we don't lose?" Alex asks.
"Oh, we always lose," Maggie says firmly.
"Every time," says a boy behind them.
"It's a school tradition. We suck. I mean, we're just awful. It's ridiculous. We always lose. So you take care of the drunk part, and the football players will do the rest for you," Maggie promises.
"So alcoholism is required to be part of this school?" Alex quirks an eyebrow. "What about, like, the Mormons? The Amish?"
"Oh my God, Danvers, are you drunk right now? Oh my God. 'The Amish.' Coming to English class drunk. That won't get you extra credit, Alex," Maggie starts to laugh.
"Knowing our teacher, I feel like it absolutely would," Alex says. "Stop making fun of the Amish, though, that's rude," Alex scolds.
"Dude. First of all, there are definitely no Amish kids who go here. I feel like that just makes you sort of stupid. Second, I'm 82% sure Amish people drink. That's religious, right? Religious people love to get wasted, it's why there's the whole Jesus-wine thing, and, anyways, don't kids our age do to the thing? Like in reality TV? Where they live like 'the English?' So if Amish kids were in our grade, they'd be drunk. Always, probably," Maggie says thoughtfully.
"Drunk always. That should be your school motto," Alex offers.
"Or your English class motto."
"Oh, shut up."
"Hey, you're the new kid!" Maggie announces as if it's some kind of revelation, and Alex laughs lightly.
"Uh, yeah, did you forget? Maybe I'm not the drunk one, after all."
"You're the new kid, and that means you have to come with me for the supply run for Under The Bleachers activities," Maggie explains. "It's your responsibility. Also part of initiation."
"Supply run?"
"Yeah, come with me," Maggie grabs her wrist without further explanation, and then calls out to the English teacher, "we're going to Target!"
"Find your spirit there, my dears," the English teacher croons, flitting around her incense.
"This... this is a weird school," Alex shakes her head.
Maggie's car is very small and looks like it could fall apart at any moment, but it smells like cinnamon and leather, so Alex can't really complain too much. She slips into the passenger seat and Maggie sits next to her, turning on the radio, even though the speakers are staticy and hard to hear.
"So, why are we going to Target during English class?"
"It's my unofficial job to provide the alcohol for football games to everyone who hangs under the bleachers. It's a team job, though, so I always take the new kid," Maggie explains.
"What, do you have a fake ID or something?" Alex asks.
"Nah, mostly it's just petty theft," Maggie shrugs.
"That is... so many kinds of illegal," Alex shakes her head.
"It's okay, I'm planning on being a cop when I'm older to make up for it, so it's pretty much even," Maggie shrugs. "You should consider being a cop, too, now that you're about to become my accomplice. Plus, you have the body for it," She points out.
Alex clears her throat, bites her lip. "Ha. You know, I don't really think that's how the law works." She tries to ignore the blush creeping onto her face as they pull into the parking lot of the Target.
"Hey, Kara," Alex says as her sister meets her outside the side door of the school for the walk home. "Don't steal things from Target when you're a junior, okay?"
"I... what?" Kara blinks at Alex vacantly.
"Long story. Heed my advice. Technically, we didn't get caught, but I wouldn't really advise it," Alex shrugs as the girls begin walking home.
"Uh. Okay. Hey, Alex, can I borrow one of your dresses? I'm going to the dance, and I guess it's supposed to be formal," Kara shoves her glasses up her nose.
"Sure. You're going to the dance?" Alex raises an eyebrow.
"Uh-huh. With Lena. She said I shouldn't miss it," Kara explains.
"With Lena, huh? So no shovel talk necessary, then, I guess?" Alex laughs.
"Guess not," Kara mumbles.
"..Hey, Kara, are you okay?" Alex raises an eyebrow, slows her pace a little.
"What? Why?" Kara asks.
"You just seem... I don't know. Weird," Alex shrugs.
"That's mean," Kara says with a half smile.
"Seriously."
"I'll be fine, Alex," Kara shakes her head. "I've just got a lot on my mind." At least that's truthful.
Under a twilight sky, Maggie gives three sharp knocks to door of Alex's house.
Without more than a few seconds, the door is opened by a blonde woman. "Hi, sweetie. Which one are you here for?"
"Uh, Alex Danvers?" Maggie says.
"Come on in, she'll be down with her sister in just a minute. You're just in time for dinner."
"Great," Maggie says with an easy smile, despite the fact that she really wasn't expecting to be part of a family dinner- she was really just here to pick up Alex.
Alex's house is warm and homey, full of a soft orange glow. Alex comes down the steps as Maggie is being shown to the dining table. "Hey, mom, I- Maggie. Hi," Alex is slightly taken aback.
"Hey, Danvers, your mom invited me to stay for dinner," Maggie gives her a smirk as Eliza goes into the kitchen to finish up.
"Oh, really, she did?" Alex laughs, taking a seat next to Maggie.
"Of course I did, she's your friend," Eliza says very matter-of-factly. "Where's your sister, Alex?"
"She said she'll be down in a few minutes," Alex shrugs.
Eliza puts the food out and then sits down at the other end of the table.
It's nice, dinner with Alex's mom. Their house is homey and the food is amazing. Her mom is nice and talkative.
"So, are you girls going to the football game?" Eliza asks.
"Yeah, they're always great, so I insisted that Alex here come with me," Maggie says.
"Oh, well that was nice of you, dear," Eliza smiles. "It's so nice to see Alex make some friends, when she was a little girl, she didn't have many friends, s-"
"Thanksfordinnermomwereallyneedtogobye," by the time Alex has finished her sentence, she's already dragged Maggie out of the house to the car by the sleeve of her shirt.
"Aw, but I just started eating," Maggie pouts, sliding into the driver's seat.
"You can eat when we get there," Alex says gruffly.
"Poor, young, friendless Alex," Maggie sighs mockingly.
Alex throws a quarter at her.
"Okay, okay, I'm done!" Maggie laughs. "I'm finished."
"Just drive, Sawyer."
Taking the day of the week into consideration, the weight on Kara's chest should be significantly lighter. Whatever; she figures things will be pretty good when Lena comes to get her. She knows that Alex has already left with her friend, she heard the car, but that's sort of weird, since the game isn't until after the dance, and even the dance isn't starting until fifteen minutes from now.
Kara looks at herself in her mirror, and she feels small, standing there in her sister's dress in her room, which growing a pale blue.
A knock at the door tells Kara her ride is waiting, so she makes her way down the stairs to see Eliza greeting Lena. "Hey! You're here," Kara says, approaching Lena.
"Yeah," Lena smiles.
"You girls have fun, now," Eliza says as Kara and Lena exit the house and wave.
"You look," Lena looks Kara up and down, "Uh. Wow."
"Thanks. I think," Kara clears her throat as the girls start walking towards the school. Not the most glamorous way to show up to a dance, but it works.
"I didn't even know this place existed," Alex shrugs, leaning back in her booth and looking out to the sky. The sun hasn't totally fallen yet, but in the east, beginnings of shining stars are visible.
"Best food in our town. Which, you know, is saying very little. Still, though. A good place to kill time for an hour before the game," Maggie points out.
Alex almost asks Maggie why she's hanging out with her, when Maggie has a whole group of very loud friends probably readily available somewhere else. Instead, she just takes a sip of her shake, letting fluorescent light wash over her.
"Your mom seems nice," Maggie says, and it's not without a slight smirk, but it's still fairly sincere.
"Yeah, she's pretty nice," Alex shrugs.
"Wait until she finds out her kid stole from a Target," Maggie laughs, and her dimples show brilliantly.
"You're pretty when you smile," Alex mumbles. Immediately after, she looks away. But still, she can see, Maggie smiles.
Lena is not a bad person, and she thinks this is quite proven by the fact that, despite having messed with Kara about the less-than-classy school event being formal, she did not make Kara brave the otherness of being out of place entirely alone. Both girls are entering the gym wearing dresses that are far too fancy for the occasion.
"You said it was formal!" Kara swats at Lena.
"Ah, well," Lena laughs easily in the humid gym air. Some kind of soft song is playing at a low quality in the background, and the lights are low and reddish, casting shadows across the room. Lena takes Kara's hand and twirls her easily. "Welcome to a high school dance. It's terrible, and we should definitely leave within twenty minutes or less."
"Awh, but I wanna dance," Kara gives Lena her widest, most pleading eyes and an innocent smile.
"I don't really know how to dance," Lena says. (This is a lie; what rich girl doesn't know how to ballroom dance?)
"Aww," Kara moans with a frown that is nearly unbearable. It takes literally three seconds of this for Lena to break completely.
"God, fine," Lena sighs. Kara claps.
"Show me how?"
"Okay," Lena says. "Put your hands like this- yeah, right there. Keep them there, unless I go to spin you or something like that. And I'll put my hands here. Okay? And now we kind of- we kind of go like this, like, we go in this shape, okay? Like sort of a square. Sort of go to the music, like, sway. Keep the beat, right. Good. And now- now I'll spin you, okay?"
Lena twirls Kara, and her dress twirls with her, leaving her giggling when she steadies.
"Okay. Good. Fall back in with the beat, now, right- okay. Good. You're doing really good, Kara," Lena laughs brightly. For a few moments, it is easy, and it is only them.
The football game is loud and full of bright, artificial light that hurts Alex's eyes. Maggie leads her under the bleachers, where there's a group of stoner-type looking teenagers hanging out and laughing and yelling like it's some kind of exclusive party. "Everybody, me and Danvers are here with the beer," Maggie waves an arm in the air.
Kids cheer all around as they drag the cooler of alcohol over. It takes less than 37 seconds for someone to yell 'chug' to no one in particular.
"Interesting enough, huh?" Maggie smiles.
"Guess so," Alex says with a laugh.
Someone's set up a radio, and dizzy summer music is humming around them. Alex takes a seat, and Maggie follows suit, sipping on a beer. They sit quietly, cheers overhead and fuzzy music filling up all the blank spaces, but both girls hands are supporting them, and just slightly, they're touching. Alex tries not to wonder if this is on purpose.
It takes maybe another thirty minutes for someone to yell, "spin the bottle!" Everybody, by now, is slightly lost to the world, though no one's quite wasted yet, either. Without a second thought, Maggie is entering into the circle of kids, tight grip on Alex's wrist, and the game commences. A boy next to Maggie spins first, and Alex pays very little attention.
Next, though, it's Maggie's turn. She spins. It lands on a boy in a black hoodie. Alex takes a sip of beer. Maggie makes a face. "I really need more friends who are chicks," she shakes her head, steps forward, and lets the boy kiss her. He grins. She doesn't. (Neither does Alex. She just feels a vague twist in her stomach.)
Under the light of the moon, feeling in somewhat high spirits, if a little hollow inside, Kara walks side by side with Lena, on their way to whichever party Lena deems best.
"You dance really well," Kara says quietly.
"Got lessons when I was little," Lena shrugs. Kara nods. "Hey, we're here," Lena points to a house down the block with lights and loud music all spilling out the windows.
"I can smell the alcohol from here," Kara mutters.
"No kidding," Lena says as they make their way to the house. It's all open doors, so the two walk in easily. "Do you want a drink, though?" She casts her eye over at the younger girl. Kara shakes her head politely. "Okay, I'll be right back, then," Lena tells her. Kara puts her back against the wall as she is left alone within the loud noise. She plants her feet firmly in the carpeting, as if not to be swallowed whole. Things like this, they always feel very isolating, at least if you're by yourself.
Luckily, though, Lena returns quickly, red cup in hand. "This... this is a party?" Kara asks.
"Pretty much. It's more fun if you're drunk," Lena shrugs. "Or into this sort of thing."
"It's interesting," Kara says, sitting down on a wide leather couch. She thinks she sinks down about a foot when she sits down. Lena sits down beside her, taking a sip from her cup.
"What's in there?" Kara quirks an eyebrow.
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's strong, and sort of gross," Lena squints down at the contents of the cup, then shrugs and takes another long sip.
"It's like... being inside a piece of modern art, or something," Kara mumbles, looking around at all of the sharp edges and faded colors that go fuzzy if she doesn't focus hard enough. It's smokey and pale, the whole room, and messy music is clashing with the quiet sound of the night and the fireflies hovering near the grass despite it being the wrong season entirely for that.
"Modern art kind of sucks," Lena mumbles, finishing off her cup of Something Awful.
"Not always," Kara shrugs, and wonders if she's telling the truth.
"I'm getting another drink, want one?" Lena offers. Kara politely declines once more and watches Lena retreat into the next room, letting everything go fuzzy and red and faraway for a moment.
Thirty spins. It takes thirty spins of the beer bottle in the middle of the circle to place Maggie and Alex together. When it does, Maggie rubs her hands together. "Alright, finally something I can get behind," she laughs, standing up. Alex follows suit with heat flooding her body. Her limbs betray her slightly, she feels wavering, she feels unsteady.
Maggie smiles and tugs at Alex's jacket, compromising for the awfully noticeable height difference.
When the two girls kiss, a lot of things happen for Alex- a lot of things that Alex will not disclose, under any circumstances, in fact, because she's always hated young adult books and their depictions of kissing, so she's definitely not going to say that, when they kiss, it's sparkly and warm and bright, and she especially won't think about how fucking soft Maggie's lips are, because that's just fucking ridiculous, and she's not even going to acknowledge Maggie's hands on her hips in the first place, to be quite frank.
When Maggie pulls away, Alex's body screams in petulant reluctance, but her face stays stone. Boys are wolf whistling- Alex hardly notices. Maggie's wearing a smile on her lips. "Well, guys, this was fun," She says once someone else grabs the bottle, "but I think me and my ride along over here are gonna jet before the guards come and kick us all out. Seeya."
Alex follows out into the open night air wordlessly. The make it to Maggie's car, but Maggie doesn't even pull her keys out of her pocket. Instead, she says, "that was fun. Up for a round two, Danvers?"
And how can a drunk teenager decline an offer like that, in a great and wide world lacking consequence?
Within two hours, Lena is kind of entirely wasted, and it's pretty funny, besides the fact that it kind of makes Kara feel like she's on a different level of mind, which is an awfully lonely place to be. And, don't get her wrong, this is all perfectly entertaining- it's just... weird.
"Kara," Lena slurs, "you're pretty." She runs a clumsy hand through Kara's blond curls.
Kara laughs. "Thanks, Lena."
"You look like... a Disney princess," Lena mumbles, shaking her head. "I mean, everyone thought you were gonna be scary.... but you're just a ninth grade princess! Ha."
"I can be scary," Kara mumbles as Lena rests her head in Kara's lap. Kara threads her fingers through Lena's hair.
"I don't believe you," Lena giggles.
"Yeah, well, you're drunk," Kara says, a quick half-smile passing her lips.
"Why aren't you drunk?" Lena challenges. "Y'look like you could use it."
Kara laughs huskily. "Hey, did your hand ever get better? The burnt one?" Kara looks down at the older girl, who's occupied gazing at the ceiling fan currently.
"Lil' bit," Lena sighs. "Hey, it's, like, one in the morning," Lena laughs as if this is particularly funny- it's not.
"I should be home now," Kara sinks down further into the couch.
"Me. Too." Lena laughs. "But! I think I'm gonna crash here instead."
"Maybe I will, too," Kara considers.
"Don't. Your mom- she's sooo nice, Kara. Go and be home. Don't worry her," Lena orders with intimidating emerald eyes and a soft giggle.
"You could come with me, you know," Kara offers.
"Nah. Who knows what'd we'd do, drunk and alone together?" Lena winks seductively.
"Um." Kara blinks.
"Go home, Kara," Lena orders sternly. "Now! Run. Unless you're going to trip."
"Uh. Okay," Kara mutters tiredly, shaking her head. Lena gets off of her, and Kara leaves, hearing the pounding music fade into dull thumping as she heads towards home.
When Alex makes it home, it's two in the morning. Her head is thick and dizzy but her face is flushed. Maggie waves as she turns the corner (on foot- she may be a thief, but she's no drunk driver) of Alex's block, heading for home.
The sky feels wonderfully high above her, and the world feels light and welcoming. It is the most ideal version of reality, this moment right now, and so despite the cold air, Alex takes a moment to crane her head back and look at the sky, let it wash over her.
Most miraculous of all, tonight, though? Her school’s team won. Maggie was thrilled. (“We won! We never win! It’s a fucking miracle, Danvers! You know what? I think you might just be good luck, Alex.”)
Alex giggles, leaning against the back of her door for a second.
Then, she lets herself in, thanking God himself that Eliza is the worlds most heavy sleeper.
Alex stumbles up the stairs in a drunken stupor, lazy smiles on her face. She takes a left and makes her way into the room, falling onto her bed, clothes on and all. Except there's a body next to her, one that's very much alive. Thankfully. Probably for the best.
"Kara?" Alex whispers.
"Uh, yeah?"
"Is this, uh.. is this my room, or yours?" Alex asks.
"I'm pretty sure it's mine, Alex," Kara mumbles.
"Oh. Sorry. Could I stay, tonight, though?" She asks. Or maybe it's more like an offer.
"..Yeah, please stay," Kara says, and Alex can feel her nod.
"When did you get home?"
"Like an hour ago?" Kara says.
"And you're still awake?"
"Yeah."
"Well, did you have a good time?" Alex mumbles tiredly.
"I think. Kinda. You?"
"The best," Alex laughs.
"I'm glad," Kara says lightly.
"Yeah. Go to sleep now, little sister," Alex slurs, wrapping a protective arm around Kara.
Kara wholeheartedly appreciates this. At least she’s not alone so early in the morning.