Chapter 6
I will admit, it hurt for a while.
I've sitting in Tobin's room for a couple of hours, staring at the wall.
Her room has always been one of my favorite places.
She has a large bed in the corner, and a dresser and bookshelf along the wall.
Her walls are covered with pictures of her family and teammates.
She also has posters (Harry Potter, of course) covering most of another wall, leaving only a little bit of white wall paint in sight.
She has few other decorations, such as candles, books, and a Harry Potter wand.
She is such a dork.
A cute dork though.
I know I should probably be devastated and crying, but I can't help but think how happy Tobin made me.
Her hugs never felt like Servando's.
Hers were more loving.
I heard the apartment door open, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Tobin's back.
I knew that Tobin was going to come check on me again.
Every time she checked on me I would avoid eye contact and tell her I was fine.
She would walk away without pressing the subject, although I knew that she knew that I was not fine.
But that was hours ago. I feel fine now.
Actually, I probably shouldn't be feeling this ok.
Sure enough, a couple of minutes later Tobin knocked on the door.
Without waiting for a response, she quietly opened the door.
"Hey," she whispered, concern in her voice.
"Hey," I whispered back, smiling slightly.
"You ok?"
I thought for a minute.
Was I ok? Yes. Yes I am.
I have my best friend with me, I will be surrounded by my teammates in a couple of days, and I now realize what love is.
Love is when you would do anything for anyone, no matter what. I thought I knew that when I married Servando, but it was a different type of love.
It was the love of having someone. Someone to see and hear, to show that I, Alex Morgan, could have someone to do all the cute, sweet things other couples do.
I now realize that I didn't fully love him because I was in love with Tobin.
I didn't know that then, but I sure as hell know it know.
I smiled at her and said, "I am perfectly wonderful."
"Are you sure?" Tobin asked, both amused and concerned.
"Yes."
"Ok. Want to go out for dinner?"
"Sure."
"Ok. We'll leave in 20 minutes."
She walked out of the room. Before she shut the door, I caught her smiling like a doof.
A couple minutes after she left, I reopened the door and walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
If I wasn't myself, I would say that the person looking back at me would look happy. And I was.
I put on some light makeup and slipped on some skinny jeans and a sweatshirt.
I took a look at myself and noticed my left hand.
With confidence burning inside of me, I pulled off the ring and threw it away, leaving the room without looking back.