A year. A year of smiles and dimples [oh those dimples]. A year of laughs and tears, happy memories and horrible regrets. A year of love, or at least that’s how Alex sees it. Alex has fallen for Maggie, hard. But Maggie doesn’t believe love is real. After all of the heartbreaks, how could love still be a possibility for her? Love wasn’t real.
But it was all too real for Alex. She had been through so much, and she knew that out of everything, love was real. And she found that love in someone who could never love her back. So, she just kept living. She’s had to restrict herself from saying that four letter word many times; she couldn’t say something wrong and scare Maggie away. She kept on living.
They would go out on many dates. They would snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. They would fight, and then make up eventually, kissing passionately. They would sleep over the other’s house, that was until Maggie basically moved herself into Alex’s apartment. They would have sex. A lot of sex. They loved each other, Alex knew it, but Maggie just denied it.
The night before ended with Alex wrapped up in Maggie’s arms, bare skin pressed close. But when Alex woke up this morning, there was a missing warmth and feeling a safety. Maggie wasn’t there. She never woke up before Alex. She hesitantly sat up in the bed, catching sight of a small note on the bedside table beside her. It was from Maggie. It read:
Dear Alex,
I’m so sorry to leave you so suddenly. But I couldn’t do it. You know I don’t believe, and I know what you felt. And I couldn’t sit around and watch you suffer. I care about you so much, I couldn’t let it get worse and have it hurt worse later. I’m sorry, Al. Find someone who can give you what you need, what you want, what I couldn’t give you.
Goodbye Alex.
-M.S.
Her heart was pounding hard in her chest, a loud thump filling the slightly-more-empty bedroom. Her throat throbbed in pain as she held back the cry that was threatening to spill out of her. Tears slowly filled her eyes, slipping down her cheeks and onto the small slip of paper. Her body shook as a sob escaped her lips, her brain overcome by complete sadness. She left.
The love of her life was just gone! Alex didn’t know what to do. For all she knows, Maggie could be at the precinct or out on a case, so close yet so far. Maggie probably didn’t want to see her. Or at least that’s what Alex thought when she arrived at a crime scene later that day. It was an alien homicide; Maggie never missed out on seeing a dead body, especially if it was alien. But there was no sight of a Detective Sawyer anywhere.
Alex was worried. Maggie could be hurt or sick and she wouldn’t know. Her ex-partner was on the scene though, leading to a curious Alex walking up to him and asking if he happened to know where Maggie was. He didn’t. She hadn’t clocked in that morning, she didn’t call in sick, and there was no report that she had gotten injured. Alex was so close to putting out missing persons report; if even her coworkers didn’t know where she was, then she could really be in danger and no one would have any idea.
The redhead had one last idea. She stepped off the crime scene and into her car, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her contacts until she came upon what she was looking for. Mrs. Sawyer. She hesitated for a moment, pressing the call button and lifting the phone up to her ear. The phone rang a few times until the sweet voice of Maggie’s mother rang through the speaker.
“Oh, hi Alex! What brings you to call me, dear?”
“Have you heard from Maggie? She left suddenly and no one has heard anything from her…”
“Maggie’s not reachable? Oh dear.. No sweetheart I haven’t heard anything from her. But, you’ll find her, right?”
“I’ll try my best Mrs. Sawyer. I’ll update you as soon as I find out anything.”
“Thank you Alex. Good luck.”
And the call ended before Alex could say anything else. Not even her own mother had any idea of where she was. Alex’s heart was caught in her throat; she felt like all of the air was sucked out of her. It was like Maggie disappeared into thin air. Unless…
What was Maggie plotting? All of the sudden she left Alex, didn’t go into work that morning, and was just gone. Either she was taken, or she was hiding something, planning something… But Alex went with the latter; Maggie was too good to do harm. That’s why she had been a police, to bring good and justice. So, Alex put out an APB for missing person. All of the police across a 50 mile radius received intel that one of their own was missing. She hoped that Maggie could be found. Hoped desperately.
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Her hair was a tangled mess, her shirt wrinkled and stained. Rain splashed against her bare arms as she sat in between the two buildings, her back against the cold brick wall. The gash in her stomach had finally slowed in bleeding but small drops would trickle from the wound every few minutes. She hadn’t planned for her leaving to go this way. God, she hoped someone found her before she was gone for good.
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Alex sat in her apartment, all of the lights turned off. The window was wide open, illuminating the apartment in just enough light for Alex to find her way to the refrigerator without tripping over anything. She opened up the cold door and moved a few things around, digging for any alcohol she could find. In the back was a bottle of whiskey that was calling for her attention, leading Alex to grab the bottle and slam the door shut.
She stepped over to the window, placing the bottle down as she climbed up onto the window still. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them with one arm, the other holding the whiskey. The rain was coming down hard; it splashed against the window almost in tune with Alex’s rapid heartbeat. She lifted the bottle up to her lips, taking a large gulp before slamming it down on the wood.
The alcohol burned down her throat as tears pricked her glassy eyes. Her girl was missing. Unable to be found. Gone. At least that’s what she thought, until Alex’s phone started ringing with a familiar ringtone. Kara.
“Kara?” Alex’s voice cracked as her sister’s voice hummed through the phone.
“You need to come to the corner of 5th and Central. Now.”
Alex stood up immediately, gathering herself and placing the whiskey back in the fridge. “I’m on my way.”
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Alex slipped off her Ducati, her hair falling free from the helmet as she pulled it off of her head. Her heart was racing as Supergirl approached her. The blonde wrapped her arms around her sister, soon pulling apart and leading Alex into a dark alleyway between two business buildings. It looked like a normal alley, that was until she noticed something a little off. There was a body. She stepped closer.
Oh, god no. No. No. No.No.
There in front of Alex, lay an unconscious Maggie Sawyer. Tears threatened her eyes again, Alex gulping back a sob. She dropped to her knees, feeling for a pulse. Oh, thank god. A steady beat pressed against Alex’s index finger. Her girlfriend was still alive but barely. Kara shot her a look of sympathy before taking Maggie in her arms and flying her to the DEO. This was going to be a long, painful night.
Alex hopped back onto her bike, putting her helmet on, yet not bothering to pull the visor down. As she rode, she felt the cold air whipping at her tear stained cheeks and felt relief in the slight sting of cold. She zoomed past cars, swerving from lane to lane as she tried to get to the DEO as fast as she possibly could. Within minutes, she was hopping off of her bike once again and pushing open the large glass doors of her workplace.
She jogged down the stairs and ran through the twisting hallways, each step bringing her closer to the med bay, to her girlfriend. She stopped when she saw Maggie’s small frame laying on a hospital bed, wires attached to her body everywhere Alex could see. She could feel the tears building back up again, swallowing hard to keep them back. Maggie’s doctor happened to be exiting as Alex stood there.
“Agent Danvers. I assume you want an update?”
Alex swallowed again to prevent her voice from cracking. Yet her voice was still quiet, small. “Yes, please.”
“Well, she lost a lot of blood, but not enough to die from blood loss or need a donor. She has minor hypothermia from being out in the cold rain for an extended period of time, but she’s already recovering from that. I believe that as long as her stomach doesn’t get infected wile the stitches are in, she’ll be in perfect condition pretty soon. You can go see her, she should be waking up soon.”
Alex nodded her head slightly as she walked passed the doctor and into Maggie’s room. She grabbed a chair from the corner and slid it up to the bedside, sitting down and holding Maggie’s hand. Then she remembered.
Maggie left her. Said she couldn’t love her. Said she wouldn’t be back. She went missing. She doesn’t want to see Alex. She was crying again, uncontrollable of her sorrow, knowing the girl in front of her would wake up and not want to see her. But Alex was shaken from her daze when the hand she was holding gripped back. She looked up through her glassy eyes to see Maggie’s staring back at her. Tears were forming in her own, speaking small, “Alex… You… here…”
“Shhhhh,” Alex rubbed her thumb across Maggie’s wrist as the brunette’s grip got stronger. “You don’t have to say anything. Unless you want me to leave, because then you should probably speak up. Man, Maggie, I was so scared when you went missing. I thought you were hurt or even dead. God, you scared me so bad! And I know you ran because you don’t believe in love and all but-“
“Alex, now you need to shush.” A small smiled played its way onto Maggie’s lips. “I ran… because I was scared. I don’t believe because I’m scared. Scared that I’ll just end up heartbroken again. I know, it’s so dumb… because you would never hurt me. I ran because I couldn’t handle the fact that you could possibly… But now I realize that it is real. Love is absolutely real. You have proven that to me. You aren’t with me just for the fun of it, but you are here for me. And I’ve never had that before. It’s so nice to finally have that… You’ve cleared my vision, I can see clearly now. I see what love is, Alex. I really do. And, well, love is you. God…. Alex, I- I love you. I really really love you! And I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize and I’m so sorry for running and I hope you’ll forgive me- please forgive me. I love you, Alex.”
Alex was full on sobbing by the time Maggie finished. “Oh no… did I say something wrong? I’m so sorry, Alex, I didn’t mean-“
“Maggie you didn’t say anything wrong. It’s the fact that you said all of the right things! I thought… I just thought you were never coming back. And when I found you, god I was so happy to know you were, at the least, alive. And I’m so glad to see that you are alive and okay now. That’s all that matters! Just please… don’t ever run away like that again. God, Maggie… I feel like I’ve been waiting for years for you come to this point. Because I love you to Krypton and back, a billion times over. And I will always love you. I love you, Maggie.”
Alex squeezed Maggie’s hand and placed a kiss on her forehead. They stayed sitting in quiet for a while, sharing loving looks. They were going to be alright. “God, Alex, I can’t wait to go home.”
“I already am home. You are my home.”