Khun Sam's arms were crossed defensively as she paced the floor of her office.
"Why couldn't you take a hint? I was as blunt to you as I could be, I told you any number of times that I have no love for you that way. I had appreciated your friendship but I have never had any romantic feelings for you."
Kirk looked sheepish, a faint smile on his face which faded as he looked into Khun Sam's cool eyes.
"I was sure it was just a matter of time …"
"But Kirk, surely after all the years you've known me, I usually say what I mean."
"Unless you say the opposite, which to be fair happens a lot. But grandmother …"
Khun Sam waved her hand in annoyance.
"yes, grandmother can be so … I get it. But you too should have developed a backbone. She is not your grandmother, you are under no obligation to her … not the way we were forced into doing everything she demanded. I don't blame Neung for running away, she was under so much pressure every day that I could see her gradually slipping away. Grandmother couldn't see it, she wouldn't see it, she only saw what she wanted to see, and as usual she refused to listen …"
Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Khun Neung shouldn't have run away …"
"She had to. I could see it in her eyes, she was dying. She had to save herself. I wish Song had done the same, but then I suppose it would all have fallen on me. Not that it matters now, it's all fallen to me by default anyway."
Kirk ran his fingers through his hair looking around as if seeking out the right words to say.
"Sam, I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do."
Khun Sam shook her head and stared back at him, pointing her finger at him in an accusatory way.
"Sorry Kirk, I don't believe that. You allowed your family and my grandmother to pressure you into it. And you took it on board as if it was your right to take me as your wife."
Kirk spread his arms and shrugged his shoulders.
"But I was happy about it Sam, who wouldn't be happy to marry Samanun Anuntrakul? And in spite of all that has happened, I still am in love with you."
"You are in love with the idea of the royal me. You treated me as a trophy, something you could win or possess."
"I never did that Sam, I wanted to be your husband …"
" All without bothering to find out what I wanted, in spite of me telling you what I didn't want over and over."
Kirk was about to say something, stopped himself then paused in thought, finally he put his hands in his pockets, nodded and spoke softly.
"No … you're right, I didn't do that. I was under the notion that this was all as it should be, that all the plans had been laid that would set us both up to be life partners."
"All without my consent, or yours for that matter. And then proposing to me … on Jim's wedding day?"
Kirk gazed away and smiled at the memory.
"I thought it was romantic, I thought you would see it the same way."
Khun Sam frowned and stared at him in disbelief, her brows creased sharply above dark eyes.
"I saw it as you just being selfish as usual, as if everything revolves around you without caring about the feelings of others."
Kirk seemed exasperated by Khun Sam's dismissal of his gesture of love.
"I thought that by doing that I was showing you that nothing else mattered to me, that you were the one I wanted to marry, that …"
Khun Sam shook her head and interrupted Kirk.
"No Kirk, you didn't think at all. And that's your problem, you do things completely without thinking things through. You pull a stunt like that at somebody else's special day … that was Jim and Earth's special day, not yours. Forever more, that day will not be remembered as 'Jim and Earth's Wedding', it will be remembered as 'the jerk that stole their special day away from them'."
Kirk's face fell as Khun Sam's words tore through him. But he couldn't fault her reasoning or her logic, she had not said anything that wasn't true, and now considering it from her viewpoint he understood the blunder that he had made. He swallowed bitterly, sighed deeply and closed his eyes.
Khun Sam continued, her frustrations with Kirk's behaviour now re-awakened.
"You announced to everyone there that you think you're more important than anybody else, that all that matters is what you want, even more important than the people getting married. And you did the same kind of thing with Nita. You never bother to think things through to the end, you only see as far as the end of your nose and then you act without consideration of the consequences. It's all about what you want, not what anybody else wants."
Kirk's eyes snapped open, he seemed to be imploring Khun Sam to understand his best intentions.
"That's not fair Sam, I did that for you, I wanted so much to help you keep the company that I was doing everything I could to make that happen."
"Even after I had already told you I didn't want to partner with anybody else, you still went behind my back and did that, not caring anything about my feelings, not listening to what I was telling you over and over."
Khun Sam spread her hands and let them fall with a slap to her sides.
"You're just like my grandmother, you care only about what you want and you don't listen to what anyone else wants, then you pat yourself on the back and justify your good deed by dressing it up and saying 'I did it all for you.' It wasn't for me Kirk, it was for yourself, because you thought if I could keep the company running then I would be available to be your wife and I could happily run that and you would be the hero who saved the day and won my heart."
Sam wandered around the room, her stylish black heels occasionally muffled by the carpet. Kirk followed her with his eyes, defeat written all over his face.
"From day one, since we were teens, I never wanted to marry you, I kept telling you in words and actions, but you refused to listen. Again you don't listen to anything but what you want. you delude yourself that somehow your … your charm or your smile … will win me over. You're selfish Kirk, and for that reason alone I could never marry someone like you."
Khun Sam stopped squarely in front of Kirk with her arms crossed and drew a deep breath. She looked deeply into his eyes with softness and reverence.
"There is only one person in this whole world who has listened to me and listened to my heart and my feelings, and spoken to me with her own heart in the same language. She cared for me from since we were both children, she carried a selfless love for me through her whole life even when I was unaware of it. The day I met her again at work, the very first day, my whole life changed. I felt it. I saw a light, a spark, I felt alive … something I had never felt with any other person before. She opened my eyes and showed me that I was worthy enough to love her back. Because without status or a royal title or anything else, she is so far above me as a person that it takes my breath away."
Her eyes glistened moistly, tears that refused to fall.
"But … she loves me for myself, not for my title, not for my status, not to impress my grandmother, not for any other reason than the endless care and trust and honesty she possesses, all things you have never had an inking of and never bothered to find out about."
"And that was Mon. It is Mon, and until the day I breathe my last breath it will always be Mon."