Shit, shit, shit, I thought. I could feel my insides burning, I could barely concentrate on what I was doing. Running, that was it, feet pounding, heart trying to break out of my chest, everything on fire. Nonononono, I couldn't lose control, I couldn't hurt anyone. Weaving in between trees, one thought, keep running. I could feel it pouring out of me, the fire getting brighter- hotter. If it wasn't scorching hot, I would be crying. Sobbing probably, because I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I really didn't, but I couldn't protect them either. Barely registering it, I collapsed, hoping I was far enough away.
"Linh! Over here!" I heard a distant voice yell. Linh. No, not her, please no, I begged. I forced my eyes to open, my voice was too dry to speak. If I couldn't stop her with words, hopefully, she would see that I couldn't stop it. God if I hurt her- I stopped myself, squeezing my eyes shut. Don't think. Don't don't don't don't- SPLASH! Szzzz. The sound of a dying fire. A flash of silver and black and blue. No! I wanted to scream, tell her to run. I didn't want her to get hurt! But then her face came into my view and she looked so determined. My heart stopped for a second. Fucking emotions, I thought. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her hair was flying around her like a halo (I really didn't need any more confirmation that she was a literal angel), she was fighting the fire with water. I knew at that point I wasn't going to get her to go, the sheer look of determination in her face could've told me that, but the way she fought the fire around her, daring it to come near only to snuff it out showed it.
"Marella!" she yelled, weaving water through the flames drowning the fire. "Marella!"
"Linh!" the voice- Maruca called from behind me, "She's over here!"
Great, more people to watch me have an epic mental breakdown and burn an entire fucking forest, exactly what I need, I thought bitterly. That was all I could do, sit there helplessly while my friends put out my fire because I couldn't stop it. Fucking wonderful. Oh, and my crush looks hot as hell, just add it to the three-page long list of problems in my life. Linh's eyes scanned what was remaining of the fires and finally landed on me. Her eyes widened and she started running towards me. Oh hey, my heart skipped like three beats this time. A wave of weariness washed over me. My eyelids started to get heavier. The edges of my vision blurred and the last thing I saw before the world went dark was Linh's smile and teary eyes.
I woke up in the Healing Center at Foxfire. I sat up so fast my vision blurred for a moment but it didn't matter. "Where's Linh?" I half-shouted glancing around the room.
"Good morning to you too," Elwin said from the door to his office. I raised my eyebrow and gave him my best I'm-tired-and-done look. He sighed. "She left for the bathroom a minute ago after I finally convinced her to go. She's been here the entire time you were out," he explained. My heart did this weird summersault-backflip-handstand routine at the thought of her staying. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I went to get up- and crumbled to the ground as soon as I put my weight on my legs.
"What the-" I muttered sitting on the floor.
"Standing might not be the best-" Elwin started when the door burst open and Linh ran to my side immediately fussing over me.
"You idiot," she said hugging me, "I thought you were gonna get hurt or worse and you looked so tired when I brought you back here and why did you try to stand-"
"Linh," I whispered wrapping my arms around her. "I'm okay. I can't be hurt by fire." She always seemed to forget that, quite honestly it was adorable. Finally, she pulled away and helped me up. I glanced over her shoulder to see Elwin give me a small smile before disappearing back into his office. Wow, thanks for leaving me alone with the extremely cute girl that won't stop fussing over me very helpful, I mentally cursed him.
After a lot of "I'm okay"s and fighting to not blush I got Linh to calm down and sit next to me. She was silent for a while, staring at a tile on the floor studying every part of it. At first, it was nice, the silence, but then it felt heavy, daunting like it was a void of all the things we didn't want to talk about. Trust me, that would be a big void. I found myself staring at her, not for the first time, definitely not for the last. I was trying to decide if I liked the silver tips of her hair or the sheer beauty of her eyes more when I realized she was looking back at me. For the ten hundredth time, I fought down the heat that desperately wanted to rise to my cheeks and glanced away fixing my eyes on the tile like it held the secrets of the universe. "Marella," Linh said softly, god why did my name have to sound so good on her lips? I thought desperately, before trying to stop myself from thinking about her lips. "Marella," she said again, she was grabbing my face gently making me look at her. If she was anyone else I would've told her not to touch my hair. And yet I was sitting there, at a loss for words, staring at her bright imploring eyes.
"Yes?" I said weakly. I noticed how close we were. Her knee was brushing mine, our faces only a few inches apart, her hands in my hair. I was a bisexual mess.
"Can-" she paused, looking suddenly nervous. She took her hands off my face and hair and I was sad at the loss of warmth. Linh quickly glanced away from my face and back before talking again. "Can I tell you something?"
I was suddenly nervous too, well more nervous. I didn't let myself think about what she could be worried about, that was a hope that I couldn't bear to have. Her hands were moving in her lap and I reached out to hold them still. "You can tell me anything," I said quietly, hoping that there was some shred of confidence in my voice. Linh smiled briefly, it was small but dazzling.
"I-" she closed her eyes for a beat, "I like you." And suddenly everything was loud, very loud. I didn't register that I stopped breathing, I didn't notice that Linh had taken her hands out of my grasp. I just sat there, frozen. A million different apologize tumbled out of her mouth, she was shaking her head. Why was she shaking her head? Why was she apologizing? Without thinking (my brain had short-circuited as soon as she said those words), without hesitating, I grabbed her face, it was wet, I think she was crying and kissed her. Linh gasped as my lips crashed on to hers, but she kissed me back and the world seemed to be so bright. Her lips were soft as I tried not to think about how chapped mine were. Linh's hands found their way into my hair again and I really really didn't want to stop. But yet human necessities, like air and the need to breathe, sometimes get in the way of what you want. I slowly broke the kiss and not opening my eyes, I leaned my forehead against hers. We sat there, trying to slow our breaths for a minute.
"So..." Linh whispered breaking the silence. She was looking at me with this look in her eyes. I couldn't tell what it was, fondness? Surprise? Happiness? Maybe a mix. At once everything that had happened came crashing down on me. I kissed her, and I didn't ask.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- I didn't even ask- I couldn't think so I just-" I was cut off my Linh's soft lips on mine. I melted into it. She pulled back after a second with a huge grin.
"Marella will you be my girlfriend?" she asked.
"I'm sorry was the kissing not enough for a yes?" I said laughing.
After a few last-minute checkups, I was clear to go. Linh grabbed my hand (she really liked holding my hand) and practically dragged me out the door. I took one last glance at Elwin who gave me a small thumbs-up before letting my girlfriend drag me off to where ever she wanted.