I need help
Nonon had no clue how she got home. But the next thing she remembered was laying on her bed and hugging a pillow to her chest. Why does this hurt so much? I should be happy for her. Nonon reached over to her nightstand and grabbed a small package of tissues out of the second drawer. She ripped it open and blew her nose hard.
Nonon eventually cried herself to sleep. She wasn’t sure how long she slept, for she didn’t know when she fell asleep. But she awoke to her phone ringing beside her stomach. Grabbing it she looked at the caller ID and was surprised to see Houka Inumuta. “Hello, what do you want, dog.”
“Well someone’s in a particularly bad mood. Are your fangs so full of venom you feel the need to snap at anything in range” Nonon just rolled her eyes. “Nice rebound mutt, how long have you been waiting to use that one.” She heard a slight chuckle on the other end. “Actually, I’ve had that one prepared for a while now.” That actually brought a slight laugh out of Nonon.
“Now, what has caused your snappy mood Nonon?” Nonon was a little surprised to hear concern in Inumuta’s voice. “Why do you care? You wanting to collect some data on me when I’m emotional” Nonon couldn’t control the venom in her voice. “Actually, as surprising as it may sound, I care about more than just data Nonon. I do value our friendship as well as my other friendships”
Nonon sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry, I’m just… going through some personal things right now.” The pause on the other side of the line was only interrupted by a faint slap like noise. Telling Nonon that Inumuta had just closed his computer. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Once again Nonon was surprised, The computer nerd had just given her his complete attention and was trying to figure out what was bothering her. Normally Nonon wouldn’t have even thought about diverging into her personal issues with Inumuta. But her fragile emotional state cracked easily at the simple show of concern from her friend.
“Satsuki’s got a date tonight, and I want to be happy for her…. But l can’t… It hurts too much” Nonon knew she wasn’t making a lot of sense. Especially since Inumuta didn’t know about her feelings towards Satsuki.
“That makes sense, you’ve been infatuated with her for who knows how long.” Okay, she thought he didn’t know about her feelings. “How did you know I had feelings for her?!” Inumuta’s tone of voice made it sound like it was obvious. “Well even during our time at the academy I noticed you following Lady Satsuki with your eyes for longer than was deemed normal.” Nonon rolled her eyes. “You mean you caught me staring a lot” Inumuta scoffed at how his explanation was simplified.
“Yes, I did indeed catch you staring at Lady Satsuki, as well as her posterior more than once” Nonon’s cheeks burned at the blatant statement. “Well…. Um….” there was no response that Nonon could come up with to the statement.
“Anyway. So Lady Satsuki has a date, have you told her how you feel?” While Nonon was still a little flustered, she rolled her eyes at how Inumuta asked his question like it wasn’t the hardest thing in the world for her to admit her feelings. “Well, no, I haven’t.” Inumuta seemed a little surprised. “Why not?” Nonon sighed.
“There wasn’t ever a good time to tell her.” inumuta made a confused noise. “What do you mean?” Nonon thought for a second. “Well, I don’t know how else to say it, any chance I had to tell her. They never felt right, or I felt like I would be taking advantage of the situation.” Nonon wiped away some tears beginning to form before they could fall.
“Oh, I see.” There was a long pause. “Well, as I see it, you only really have two options. You can go over to her apartment before her date, tell her how you feel, and hope for the best. Or you can let her date happen, and deal with the outcome, whether it be Satsuki still being single, or her being with this woman, and you’ve lost her forever.”
Nonon already knew this. “I already knew that, that’s why I'm hurting so much, because I don’t know what to do!” Nonon didn’t really mean to yell into her phone, but it happened anyway. Inumuta seemed to not have been phased by the outburst though. “Then you need to ask yourself if you’re really willing to give her up, along with your happiness.”
Nonon didn’t hesitate. “Satsuki deserves to be happy, me telling her how I feel could ruin that.” Inumuta responded rather quickly. “But don’t you also deserve happiness.” Nonon didn’t get to respond before he continued. “More importantly, shouldn’t it be up to Satsuki to decide who makes her happy.”
Nonon was shocked. She hadn’t looked at it like that. How selfish have I been… acting like I know what will make her happy. The only person who knows what makes Satsuki happy, is Satsuki herself. “I hadn’t thought about it like that..” Nonon’s eyes shot up to the clock on her nightstand and saw that it was six thirteen.
“Look, I have to go, thanks for helping me, I owe you one” Nonon didn’t wait for a response before she hung up the phone and all but jumped off her bed. She looked in the mirror and saw her eyes. While they were not as puffy as they had been before she fell asleep, they were still enough so that it was obvious that she'd been crying hard earlier.
She thought for the briefest of moments about putting makeup on. There’s no time, I need to get to Satsuki’s before seven. With that out of the way, Nonon ran out of her room and only barely remembered to grab her keys and lock her apartment before she left. This time a small amount of hope filled her chest as the elevator doors closed and started descending.