consone

Kim Minjeong was having kind of an awful day.

She tripped and fell into a puddle on the way to the subway station, making her blue sweater all dirty. She had dropped her notes in the fall, ruining all the progress she had made on the song that she was learning to play on the guitar. The train was gone by the time she got to the platform, so she was going to arrive late to practice. And on top of it all, someone had pickpocketed her phone.

It was, quite frankly, already a nightmare of a day.

So as she walks into the lobby of the SM Entertainment building, ready to start her lessons as a trainee to hopefully become a k-pop idol one day, Minjeong grabs her buddha bracelet and hopes for a better day.

“Hold the elevator! Please!” She shouts, clutching the song sheets against her chest and dashing towards the closing doors. She cannot afford to be even later than she already is. A hand sticks out, successfully keeping it open and Minjeong smiles as she walks in.

Hey, at least that’s one thing going right for her today.

“That was so kind of you. Thank you so much!” She says, looking at the young man in the elevator. He’s tall, handsome and dressed in a very nice black tuxedo. The type of perfect guy that would have all her classmates swooning the moment they saw him.

“It was no problem.” He smiles, all boyish charm, and Minjeong recognizes him instantly. MN, the latest SM Entertainment prodigy and one of the top rising idols of the year. “I am always late to practice too. Running around the lobby is my speciality. My members love to make fun of me for it.” He chuckles to himself, probably remembering an inside joke between them, and the laughter is so genuine and infectious that Minjeong can’t help but blurt out. “I can’t wait to have that too.”

“Keep working hard and you’ll get there soon enough.” The elevator is coming to a stop on the 11th floor and he smiles crookedly at her. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the practice room and tell the instructor that I’m the reason why you’re late.”

“Oh, there’s no need—” Minjeong, in awkward nervousness and completely forgetting that she’s already holding the practice folder against her chest, tries to put her hair behind her ear. The brusque movement and lack of coordination causes her to send the song sheets flying and Minjeong watches in dismay as they all scatter on the elevator floor. “Can today give me a break?” She mutters to herself as she drops down to pick them up.

“It’s no trouble, besides, I love to help people.” He says as he drops down next to her, already grabbing a couple of sheets.

His sleeve partially rolls up as he gets to work, and Minjeong can’t help but notice that he’s got a soulmate countdown on his wrist. Curiosity gets the better of her and Minjeong starts tracing the numbers to figure out how much time he’s got until he meets his soulmate. By the amount of 0s, it has to be pretty soon.

But before she can make out the last 3 digits, he moves and his wrist gets covered again.

Feeling her face heating up and embarrassed beyond belief, Minjeong turns to face the elevator doors as she continues to pick up her things.

“Here you go.” Standing up, MN hands over what he collected as the elevator comes to a stop.

“Thank you.” Minjeong mumbles, staring straight ahead instead of at him, her ears burning. The doors open at the same time as she opens her mouth to reassure him that she doesn’t need the escort to class, but she doesn’t get to utter a word.

A girl standing right outside the elevator turns around as soon as she hears the ding announcing the arrival, and Minjeong feels the entire world stop on its axis.

When she was a kid, she was hospitalized for a long time because of her lungs. Besides the pain and the coldness of the place, the thing Minjeong had hated the most was the lack of sunlight. It had made her miserable, and everyday she would wake up and her first wish would be to be able to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin once again.

Stepping into the sunshine, fully recovered after such a dark period of time, was Minjeong’s favorite memory. Standing under that sun, she had felt radiant, warm and alive, ready to take on the world. Invincible, complete, like she could be anything she wished to be.

Kim Minjeong never thought she would ever experience something like that again.

But now, here she is once again, feeling like she’s standing under that very special sun. The universe available and within her reach, the very picture of everything she’s ever wanted.

A universe that looked a lot like the girl currently standing in front of her.

Oh.

With long and silky back hair, soft yet elegant features and eyes as dark and bright as a clear starry night, Minjeong thinks this girl is the prettiest girl she’ll ever see in her entire life.

“What is…?” The girl gasps and brings a hand to cover her eyes. “Oh my god.” She stumbles in place as she reaches out to try and find some sort of support.

Minjeong immediately extends her hand and tries to get up to help but an inexplicable sensation that starts on her lower stomach and spreads across her entire body roots her in place. It isn't necessarily painful, but it’s also unlike anything she’s ever felt before.

Overwhelming but calm, exhilarating but nostalgic, familiar and yet so extremely foreign. The feeling is a constant contradiction that somehow exists in perfect harmony.

Her body feels like waves crashing onto the rocky shores in the middle of a storm, like laying down in a field of flowers on a cool spring day, like spice hitting your taste buds a few seconds after you expect it, like diving into a pool on a hot summer day, like slipping on ice in the middle of the sidewalk, like standing on the edge of a cliff as the wind threatens to blow you away, like drinking hot chocolate while enjoying a snowfall, like… like… like… Minjeong feels like she’s staring at herself from outside her own body, seeing her entire existence unravel and lay out in front of her before it reforms into something different, but also something that’s always been there.

She’s being wrapped in an intangible energy that makes her feel like she’s being hugged tightly; safe, comforted and complete but also breathless. Minjeong gasps, scrambling to ground herself, because intrinsically and undoubtedly she just knows.

Minjeong just met her soulmate.

The young idol, completely oblivious to Minjeong’s life shattering realization and thinking that she’s still picking up the song sheets, dashes past her and towards the girl that’s still covering her eyes but is no longer swaying in place.

“Are you okay?” MN grabs the girl’s extended hand, offering his support, and the girl jolts where she stands the moment they touch.

Minjeong finally manages to get up, stumbling out of the elevator on shaky legs and unable to take her eyes off the girl in front of her. She tries to say something, to help, but her body seems absolutely incapable of following her commands.

A manager approaches them when she notices the commotion. “What’s going on?”

MN is about to reply when the girl finally lowers her hand and opens her eyes. She looks dazed and her eyes are full of tears, but her smile is brilliant when she notices that the countdown on the hand holding hers has reached all 0s.

“I can see color.” She says, breathless; focusing solely on the guy in front of her with the brightest eyes that Minjeong has ever seen. “I can’t believe I found you.” The girl uses her other hand to reach out and touch his face. “I have been waiting for so long.”

Oh.

In an instant, the almost euphoric feeling that had settled within Minjeong turns into something sour and devastating. It was like someone pressing into her chest at full force and not letting up. She felt lightheaded, almost unable to withstand the intensity of so many emotions at once. How could it be possible for her soulmate to have matched with someone that wasn’t her? And for it to happen right in front of her eyes, just as Minjeong had found her?

Everyone had heard the many rumors of this sort of impossibility actually happening to some soulmates, she just never expected that it would ever happen to her.

Of course that would be her luck, she was already having an awful day.

MN’s mouth hangs open, unable to speak as he stares at this impossible girl.

“Ah, I get it.” The manager says, quickly looking between the girl and MN. “Both of you, follow me.” She barely spares a look towards Minjeong. “And you, it’s impolite to snoop around. Get to practice before I report you.”

The manager grabs the girl's arm and starts dragging her down the hallway, with MN following close behind them.

Minjeong is left there, alone and confused, watching the girl that’s supposed to be her soulmate disappear from her sight as she clings to someone else.

Her soulmate’s soulmate.

Minjeong forces herself to take a deep breath. She grabs her buddha stones in order to ground herself and tries to focus as much as she can on the present. The past cannot be changed and the future is uncertain, but she can definitely control the now.

She rubs her chest and takes another breath. Her side still tingles, a mixture of a burn and a caress, but she’s afraid to lift her shirt to look. Slowly, she settles her hand over the aching spot and feels it almost vibrate against her touch. She’s heard enough about the symptoms to know that her soulmate’s name is now permanently engraved onto her body. Minjeong wants to learn the girl’s name so badly… but what is the point, when the girl couldn’t even bother to look her way even once?

Focus. She tells herself, trying to stop another spiral into despair. Be present.

Minjeong is in this building for a reason. She’s here to learn and work hard so she can become an idol that shares her artistry with the world. She can’t afford to get distracted, not even by a soulmate that doesn’t even know about her.

SM Entertainment is a big building, maybe, if she gets lucky enough, she won’t even see the girl that often… if at all.

With that thought in mind, Minjeong gathers herself and heads towards the practice room.

She’s got a dream to achieve, after all.

-----------------------------------

Later that night, laying on the practice room floor all by herself, hours after everyone had already left, Minjeong finds the courage to look.

She’s spread out like a starfish, humming a nameless song and aching in the best type of way after dancing non stop for countless hours. Her mind had been stuck on the girl’s shiny, bright eyes for the rest of the day, and the consistent buzzing sensation coming from her side hadn't dispersed at all.

She knows it won’t go away until she looks.

“Come on, Minjeong, you can do it.” She gives herself a little encouragement as she stands up and walks closer to the wall of mirrors.

She stills in front of them, staring at herself and taking a deep breath. The moment she reads the name, the connection will be complete and breakable only by death. She thinks about rejecting the bond for less than a second but she can’t even finish the thought before she’s shaking it away. It seems unfathomable to her, to turn her back on such a precious privilege. She’s already addicted to the warm energy that manifested within her the moment she laid eyes on the girl. Even when the thread leading her to this soulmate only seems to work one way, Minjeong will treasure it. She had enough time to reflect and, although extremely rare, maybe this is one of those soulmate situations that’s not meant to be romantic.

Yeah, she can deal with that.

Minjeong grabs the hem of her shirt and slowly lifts it up, then sighs with immense relief when she realizes that even with her low waist sweatpants, her tattoo still cannot be seen.

In Korea, idols are obligated to hide their soulmate marks, if they have any, for privacy and business reasons. Privacy because they always want to protect the identity of those they love the most, specially because of how crazy stalkers can get. Business, because most fans like to believe that they could possibly be the chosen one, and because of that, an idol that’s already promised to someone else won’t necessarily sell well. More often than not, companies go out of their way to squash soulmate rumors and they will even go as far as forcing the idols with soulmates to hide the truth.

It’s not necessarily ideal, but most idols are willing to make the sacrifice to follow this mandate in order to pursue their dream. Because, although it is not legal to write it into the contract, it is common for companies to kick an idol out of a group if their soulmate status is discovered and causes too much commotion.

With her mark being below her hips, Minjeong won’t have to stress too much about her clothing and how to hide it. Concealer cream and a few bandaids should do the trick just fine.

Minjeong places her hand over it and feels it hum even more. Her mark feels like it’s alive, like it’s calling to her, begging her to finally establish the link. She smiles to herself, almost excited about it, and pushes her pants down enough to finally see it.

There, tattooed into her skin in pretty neat handwriting and dark blue ink, is a name.

Yu Jimin.

Minjeong traces each letter with care, amazed by how the humming disappears as she touches them. “Yu Jimin.” She smiles even wider as she looks at it through the mirror. “Pretty. I like it.”

The discomfort she had been feeling since the mark appeared fades in an instant, and in its place, a very pleasant sensation settles into her. It feels like her soul had finally found peace, even though she didn’t realize that it had been restless in the first place.

And maybe… maybe this feeling will be enough.

She’s been debating whether to say something to the girl, Jimin, or to keep it to herself. In a normal situation, they would be spending the day together, getting to know each other and basking in the warmth of their newly found connection. But after watching her soulmate walk away from her so she could do those things with someone else… Minjeong was reluctant to dish out her new life development.

At this point, sharing the truth would just make everything so confusing for all of them. Jimin had looked so happy, staring at him, that Minjeong couldn’t even consider doing anything that could possibly damper that smile. Jimin deserved to have a great soulmate experience and she was not going to mess with that by being selfish. After all, there was no fixing or changing a soulmate bond.

Destiny had been laid out, it just didn’t happen to be in her favor. But it was okay, she was a big girl, she could handle her own feelings, she could focus on the present.

“I can be strong for the both of us, Yu Jimin.” Minjeong said to herself, tracing the name again, smiling as she covered the mark back up and started gathering her things so she could go rest. “I will carry the burden of knowing for as long as I have to.”

She felt certain in her decision to keep the bond to herself for the moment. She would come clean later on, once Jimin had settled and strengthened her own bond. Waiting a few weeks or months for that to happen wouldn’t be the end of the world. Minjeong had a feeling that with a little bit of time and patience, everything was going to fall into place.

After all, how hard could it be to have an unrequited soulmate?

-----------------------------------

Minjeong had been right, SM was a very big building because almost two weeks after that fateful encounter, she hadn’t bumped into Yu Jimin at all.

She couldn’t even be too upset about that, because her company entrance exams had been so time consuming that she barely had time to even think at all. Training to be an idol was very serious business, and juggling vocal and dance classes on top of school was almost unbearable at times.

But Minjeong was determined, not only to succeed, but to be the very best idol she could possibly be.

Which is why she found herself showing up extra early to vocal practice that day. She had a new song that she wanted to showcase at the monthly evaluation and she needed to start practicing it right away.

She grabs her guitar and settles on the couch, strumming aimlessly as a warm up, trying to find the right note to start her rendition of the song. Once she finds the right tune, she smiles to herself and starts to sing as she plays.

I gotta keep myself in check sometimes
'Cause I tend to dream real big sometimes
The fancy outfits and the sparkly awards
My name in lights, the people lined up at the doors
But I gotta remember to take it one step at a time

Minjeong’s voice drifts through the entire room softly, but heavenly. She tries to infuse as much of her own dreams into the song, hoping to convey the right emotions. She closes her eyes to focus more on the sound and frowns when she misses a cord, making a mental note to go back to it.

'Cause people seem to think
That you'll be happier, once you reach the top
You'll have it all
But I'm livin' for right now
'Cause what if tomorrow never comes
I'm not waitin', I'm not waitin'
For the confetti to fall, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
Ooh-ooh-ooh, oh

She’s so focused on the song and playing her guitar that Minjeong completely misses someone opening the door to the practice room.

I can't just sit around and wait for my life to start
I can make a difference, put a little happiness in someone's heart
The fancy cars, the glitter and the fame
It's all nice but it won't be worth a thing
Love is bigger, so I'ma stand up for love, yeah

She particularly loves this song because it fits perfectly with where she is at the moment in her life. It encapsulates a lot of what she’s feeling and sometimes it’s nice to have such an easy outlet for her emotions. Music has always been there when she’s needed it most, helping her put into words the things that she can’t push herself to say. Things like how she’s been dreaming of Yu Jimin almost every single night since she saw her bright eyes.

Her voice is so beautiful. She hears inside her head, but even though the thought strangely doesn’t come from her, it doesn’t scare her. I want to hear her sing forever.

Minjeong lifts her head and looks around the room as she starts the next verse, then misses a couple of cords the moment she realizes that Yu Jimin is standing by the door, staring at her with those very same bright eyes.

Her fingers start to tremble against the guitar, but she forces herself to keep playing, keep singing. Focus. She tells herself. Don’t make it obvious.

The mark tingles with a sense of curiosity and anxiety, almost as if the bond itself wants to reach out but it is scared to do so. She takes a deep breath and refuses to look away from Jimin and she launches into the next part of the song.

People seem to think
That you'll be happier, once you reach the top
You'll have it all
But I'm livin' for right now
'Cause what if tomorrow never comes
I'm not waitin', I'm not waitin'
For the confetti to fall

Yu Jimin takes a few steps into the room, almost as if she’s so captivated by the music that she’s not even aware of her own actions. Minjeong watches her as the distance between them closes; watches her as Yu Jimin’s eyes shine as bright as ever while they stare at her, finally; watches her as Yu Jimin’s cheeks and the top of her ears grow red; watches her as she jumps, completely startled, when the door to the vocal room opens again.

Three more girls walk into the room and Minjeong lets the song die as she releases her hold on her guitar. She tries to catch Yu Jimin’s gaze, but the girl is already on the opposite end of the room, putting her things down by another sofa.

The new trainees huddle together nearby her and Minjeong suddenly feels extra shy. There was something about Yu Jimin that made her feel safe and bold, a new emotion for her. But now, faced with other people in the room, she feels like she wants to disappear behind the couch.

And the incredibly awkward and sudden silence in the room isn’t really making things better.

“Right.” Jimin stands up and walks towards them. “Hello, my name is Yu Jimin, I have been a trainee here for a few months.” She focuses on the three girls. “You’re all new, right? I can show you around if you want to, the instructor won’t be here for another hour.”

“Yes please.” One of the girls speaks up with a tentative smile. “We all just came from Japan. I speak Korean, but they don’t.”

Relieved to see someone older break the ice, they all go around introducing themselves to Jimin. Then one of them looks towards Minjeong, smiling shyly. “What about you?” Jimin turns to look at her too and the moment their eyes meet, Minjeong feels breathless.

Her bond ignites within her, alive and bright and so overwhelming that for a moment she doesn’t know how much of herself is actually there. Present. All she can see is Jimin. All she can feel is Jimin.

Control yourself. Minjeong thinks to herself. You are not hers.

But she’s unable to stop her heart from racing, no matter how much she wills it. Jimin’s eyes are just so pretty and inviting, the most captivating thing she has ever encountered; just a single look is enough to fill her whole chest with the warmest energy, the same pleasant buzz she gets after tasting her favorite tteokbokki the day of the first snow.

“I… I’m–” Her words get stuck in her throat, and before she can sort herself out, the door opens again and her only friend in the entire building rushes in.

“Minjeong! I’m so sorry I couldn’t pick you up this morning, please forgive me!” Chaehyun dashes past all of them, and throws herself at the couch, tackling Minjeong into a tight hug. “I missed you so much.” She then realizes that they have an audience, and turns to wave at the new trainees. “Hello, I’m Kim Chaehyun. It’s nice to meet you!” She beams at them. “Oh, hi Jimin, you’re back!”

“That’s your name, then?” Jimin asks her directly, frowning in the direction of their still tangled bodies. She looks extremely displeased, and Minjeong thinks that it’s probably because of her own lack of manners. She never introduced herself, after all.

“Yes.” She says, finally finding her voice and kindly pushing Chaehyun away from her. “My name is Kim Minjeong.”

Jimin frowns even more, taking a few steps away from the group.

“Unnie over here is the most talented trainee you’re ever going to meet.” Chaehyun boasts, smiling at her friend. “Her voice is incredible, she’ll probably win 1st place in every evaluation, mark my words.”

“Chae! Stop it!” Minjeong covers her face with her hands, utterly embarrassed. She can already feel the redness creeping up her face.

“We’ll see about that.” Jimin says, seemingly brushing them off. She looks at the other trainees and points towards the door. “Shall we go?” She starts walking towards it without waiting for them, and exits the room as soon as she can.

The girls rush to follow Jimin and the moment they’re out of the door, Chaehyun whistles.

“Wow, what did you do to her?”

Minjeong, still extremely red, mumbles. “What do you mean?”

“I have never seen her be so cutting or cold towards anyone like that, she’s known for basically being a walking ball of energy and kindness.” Chaehyun pants Minjeong’s head softly. “I’m sorry to report, but it seems like Yu Jimin doesn’t like you at all.”

“Oh.” Minjeong feels a sudden burst of anxiety and confusion settle into her chest. It seems familiar but at the same time very foreign, like it’s not even coming from her. “Well, I don’t really care.” She lies, even more firm in her belief of not telling anyone about the bond. “I’m here to practice, not to make friends.”

“You already have the best friend you’re ever going to find, anyway.” Chaehyun gets up, pulling Minjeong with her. “Come on, we got a song to learn.”

As they warm up, Minjeong can’t help but feel deflated.

She had been looking forward to properly meeting Jimin, and had even talked herself into attempting to start a friendship with the girl. But it turned out that, for some reason, Jimin wanted nothing to do with her.

Talk about being rejected. Twice at that.

Of course it would be Minjeong’s luck to end up not only with a one way bond, but also with a soulmate that seemed to hate her. She had thought that maybe the connection didn’t have to be a romantic one, that at least she could end up with a friend for life. But instead she had just gotten her heart stumped on once again.

Well, the universal message had certainly been received and she was too busy training as an idol to try and fight it. She would listen to destiny, just this once.

Perhaps, Kim Minjeong and Yu Jimin just weren’t meant to be at all.