Too Difficult, Saying What's On My Mind
“Can I kiss you?”
Shuhua didn’t expect that question to come from Soojin.
So when she’s confronted by the question itself, she didn’t know how to answer or even, react to the older girl. In fact, Soojin was so close— too close, that her brain couldn’t function properly. She could only look into the girl’s teary eyes where hope was slowly faltering and manifested itself as pain and emptiness.
“I see… I’ll just head back—”
“No!” Shuhua held onto Soojin’s arm, forcing her back down on the couch. Soojin was shocked by the sudden action and couldn’t process anything before Shuhua threw herself onto Soojin, pinning the older girl with her hands restrained by the sides of her head.
“Shu— Shuhua—…” Shuhua shook her head, a sign that she didn’t want to hear Soojin say anything. Her eyes stared into soojin’s brown orbs as it went down to her lips, her sweet cherry lips. Shuhua found herself swallowing the lump down her throat, temptation attempting to swallow her whole; and it did when she slowly leaned in, closer and closer to where her eyes were fixated on- Soojin’s cherry lips.
Yet, she stopped when their lips were barely touching, something stopped her and she didn’t know what it was.
“Coward.” Soojin breathed out.
Shuhua pulled away, giving them a little space, “That’s what you want?”
“What?”
“A kiss— Was that what you want?” Shuhua licked her lip, eyes staring straight into Soojin’s brown orbs as she unknowingly dominated Soojin’s thoughts. The cherry scent coming from Shuhua was making Soojin go crazy.
“Mm, I don’t know, Shuhua. Who was the first one to kiss me?” Soojin provoked with a raised brow and an evil smirk. It struck a nerve within Shuhua, how could she act so… Proud after all the push and pull game they both played?
“Well,” Shuhua pushed herself off of Soojin and sat up straight, “I guess that’s that. Goodnight.” She got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway to go to her room. “Yeh Shuhua!” The said girl stopped in her tracks, not bothering to turn to her unnie that was facing her back.
“I don’t want a kiss. I want… You."
Silence followed as Shuhua was speechless with the sudden confession, it felt so… Needy. Filled with desire and… Lust. At the same time, it sounded so desperate, like a cry for help. Why? Why now? Out of all the other times she had to confess, whynow?
Shuhua turned around and parted her lips, only to say nothing to the older girl. Soojin got up from the couch and carefully approached the younger girl as if she was a deer that would run away from any small noise.
“I know you feel like it’s way long overdue and I’m aware of that. Yeh Shuhua, I love you and I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize what you felt towards me.” Soojin gently placed her hand against Shuhua’s head and caressed her soft hair. Shuhua leaned into her touch, chuckling at the warmth that she hadn’t felt in a long time which brought a smile on Soojin’s face.
“You’re so pretty…” Soojin breathed out as she observed Shuhua’s facial features. The girl just looked so perfect in her eyes, not any flaws had overshadowed Shuhua’s beauty. Soojin doesn’t know why she never realized this sooner. That Shuhua is the most beautiful girl she’d ever met and that she carries an overwhelming amount of love for the girl. How was it possible that she suppressed everything when she lives with her? Why was it suddenly so different now that she realized she loved Shuhua more than she ever admitted?
“Jerk,” Shuhua voiced out, letting out cute little giggles that tickled Soojin’s heart, “Kiss me already.”
Without missing a beat, Soojin closed the gap between them. Her hands possessively pulling the younger girl closer to her, as if there were any space left in between them.
‘Why did it take me this long to realize that all I ever wanted was Her?’ Soojin thought as they broke away from the kiss. The sight of Shuhua’s blushing cheeks and swollen lips were one of the things that had captivated her heart. She knew that this was what she wanted for as long as she gets to have it.
“Shuhua-ya… I—“
“Be my girlfriend, unnie.”