Open Your Eyes
Nearly ten days had passed since the last time Joel had been conscious - since Joel had been beaten within an inch of his life.
Time was grating on both Ellie and you. One could see it through the colour that had vanished from both of your cheeks, the dark bags that hung below your eyes, and the way the two of you could barely stand – constantly swaying with exhaustion.
Dina had tried to lift the mood but had quickly realised that, that was a fruitless endeavour and instead tried to keep the two of you distracted which, once again, proved useless as neither you nor Ellie could barely move without the risk of collapsing with exhaustion.
You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten proper sleep. Only passing out when your body could no longer hold itself up and, even then, that only gave you a handful of hours of restless sleep.
Currently, you were moping around your house as Maria had kicked you out of the infirmary after she caught you trying to sneak in after she explicitly told you to go home.
S’not my fault my omega can’t sit still, you thought to yourself bitterly; and it was true. Your omega couldn’t sit still, constantly pawing at your mind and willing your feet to move in the direction of Joel. The constant need to be in the alpha’s proximity was overwhelming, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to feel annoyed by it, too worried about the man yourself to care about the antics of your other half.
Dina had asked you why you hadn’t gone into another heat daze and that was because your heat was forcefully triggered in an (animalistic) attempt to divert attention to yourself and, therefore, your body and omega was prepared to face injury and danger. Although, you hadn’t completely known that answer, not until one of the doctors told you. Either way, you were bored, bone-tired, and breaking bit by bit.
It hadn’t escaped your notice that Ellie had started to distance herself from you – even in your exhausted state.
You couldn’t blame her.
You were more than sure that she was apprehensive of you due to your ties with the group that had come after Joel – which was fair. To be perfectly honest, you were just glad that the alpha hadn’t tried to keep you from Joel.
Despite trying to talk to Ellie, the girl had shut herself off. Even Dina and Jesse were having a hard time getting through to her. You weren’t surprised they were struggling to get the alpha to open up – you were naturally reserved, and yet, when your pack started to fallout you had become monotonous and guarded. You could see Ellie becoming the same and it hurt to watch.
A lot of your time was spent deep in thought about Abby and the others. You weren’t too sure what to make of the situation anymore and at some point, you had just come to accept their wrong-doings and had just let them go – too relieved over the fact that they had spared Joel to hold anything against them. But you could see that Ellie wasn’t the same. You could see it in that deep-rooted hatred that blossomed in her eyes every time she scanned Joel’s injuries. You could see it in how she held herself, tense and ready to attack in the blink of an eye (despite her obvious fatigue).
It didn’t take long for it to hit 2 weeks since the ‘golfing incident’ (as you so wittingly dubbed it) and Joel had still yet to stir.
You were currently sitting next to the alpha, your hand holding his and your thumb running over his knuckles.
“Some people would say that you could hear me – perhaps not understand what I’m saying, but to know that you could possibly hear me is enough.” You sighed, letting your shoulders sag as you stared at Joel. “To be honest, it’s kinda awkward to basically talk to myself… But I guess sometimes thinking aloud helps organise your thoughts in a sense. Trying to explain emotions makes it easier to label them in a way.”
You could feel your throat starting to constrict as you waited vainly for the alpha to stir. To see any sort of sign that he was listening, that he could hear you.
You sighed again – a weary thing that let the rest of your muscles uncoil, leaving you drooping and defeated.
Bringing Joel’s hand upwards, you brought his knuckles to your forehead, letting the warm skin of the alpha calm you.
It was okay.
Joel was alive.
Things will work out.
They had to…
It was as the 18th day rolled around, that you were abruptly woken up by the banging on your door – reminding you too much of the sound of bones creaking and cracking as the golf club was brought down again and again and again and agai-
You shook your head and shoved your panic back.
Stumbling upright, you padded over to the door and opened it.
The sight of Maria graced you. The woman’s lips were pursed, her shoulders tense but her eyes alight.
“Maria,” you greeted gruffly, wondering what was wrong but too tired to form more words.
“He’s awake.”
The statement had your eyes widening, your back straining to stand taller – straighter (as your wounds weren’t able to be tended to properly due to your heat so some of the bones had started to heal crookedly. It made it harder to walk and your spine ached every time you tried to stand up straight or had abrupt twists and turns of your torso).
You could feel your omega jolt and was starting to fight for control, for your feet to move, for your eyes to see the alpha and for you to hear that deep laugh once again.
But, as you moved to push past the other woman, Maria’s hand settled firmly on your shoulder, lightly shoving you back – her face was forcefully blank but her eyes gave her away. Blue orbs swimming in worry and apprehension.
“You…” Maria sighed, “You need to be aware that Joel may not… remember you.”
The admission caused your blood to run cold.
It wasn’t that you hadn’t considered the possibility… it was more that the reality of the situation was starting to hit.
You steeled yourself as you took in a deep breath, looking at Maria with resolve and determination.
“I need to see him,” you said.
Maria just nodded and the two of you walked started to head off in the direction of the infirmary.
“Tommy and one of the doctors have been asking him questions whilst I went off and gathered everyone – just to see where his mental state is at the moment. We don’t know how much damage has been inflicted but his head had suffered a lot of trauma so the possibilities are endless.”
You nodded along as Maria explained that it would take a while to try and identify any and all problems that Joel may potentially have.
Psychology was something that had always interested you and you knew a little bit about certain parts of the brain – although that information was tucked away at the very back of your mind, in a separate time of living and way of life.
It was as you neared the infirmary that you could feel anxiety start to creep around your chest and press uncomfortably around your ribs.
You hesitated at Joel’s door, hushed voices leaking through the cracks in the door.
Pulling your shoulders back and holding your head up high, you pushed open the door.
“You can be a real pain in the ass sometimes Joel, ya know that ‘ight?” Tommy said exasperatedly as he stared down at Joel’s prone form. “Honestly, making all of us worry like this…”
Tommy sighed.
The beta’s heart hurt as he stared down at his brother.
Joel. Tommy’s older brother that had practically raised him after their father had left and their mother had started spiralling.
The two were always glued to the hip as kids and had heavily relied on each other even as they grew older. Their bond had only ever grown stronger, even if it had frayed over the time spent apart due to the pandemic.
In some respects, their bond was hard to name – to label.
Despite Joel being older, they had both practically raised each other at some point. They were brothers, friends, and shared a bond that ran even deeper than the blood that bound them.
It was as Tommy was reminiscing in the past that he saw Joel stir out of the corner of his eye. Nutmeg eyes sluggishly opened before closing, cringing at the bright light above.
Tommy scampered to turn off the light – the window would provide enough light for now.
Joel’s form shuffled before a pained hiss seeped out of the alpha’s clenched teeth.
“Stay down,” Tommy said gently, placing a hand softly on Joel’s shoulder and giving him a small nudge of encouragement to lie back down. Thankfully, Joel complied.
The two sat in silence for a while.
Tommy studied Joel.
The man’s eyes were glassy and dazed – it was likely Joel was very disorientated at the moment. Nutmeg irises flittered around the room lazily before landing on Tommy and sluggishly taking in the beta’s form.
It was then that a deep thrum erupted from Joel’s chest, vibrating through the room and changing slightly in pitch as he went.
Tommy’s eyes widened.
He hadn’t heard that call since they were kids.
Even before the outbreak Joel always managed to find trouble, or rather, trouble had always managed to find him.
There was a time where Joel had been strangled by some perv who was trying to force himself on a young lady and hadn’t been able to use his voice for a while. Another time was when he had a screaming match with their father and hadn’t been able to talk the next day. There were many other incidents where Joel hadn’t been able to talk or just hadn’t wanted to. So, the two of them had reverted to more innate methods and would communicate through their wolves.
They couldn’t talk per se, but they could call for each other and help identify whether they were in pain, in need of something, or just simply wanted company (through various croons, grumbles, growls, snarls, and so on). It was a method of communication many could naturally understand, but the frequent use of it between Tommy and his brother not only caused them to become more in tune with their wolves but also expanded their way of ‘speech’.
“It’s okay Joel,” Tommy said quickly once he realised Joel’s tone was starting to border on a growl and he started to speed up in worry the longer Tommy hadn’t answered - the beta too lost in his musings.
The alpha started to grumble – a rather unpleasant noise that came out rather gurgled and strained.
Tommy snorted. “Someone’s outta practice,” he teased.
But Joel didn’t seem to comprehend him, a deep-set frown starting to wrinkle his brow as the man started to growl his throat bobbing slightly to make the sound warble.
The beta blinked at his brother.
“Uhhh- You alright there mate?”
At the mentioning of ‘mate', Joel’s pupils dilated and his growling turned to a deep croon that reverberated through the room.
That was…weird.
Tommy knew that Joel was probably thinking of you and if the alpha wasn’t acting so weirdly then the beta may have laughed at the reaction.
The beta decided to try and talk with Joel using his wolf.
An off-pitch chittering filled the room as Tommy cocked his head to the side, further showing his confusion.
Joel’s crooning cut off and the alpha focused back on his brother, a sound between a growl and a purr made its way through his throat – indicating Joel’s own confusion (as he basically said ‘I don’t know’).
Tommy watched Joel for a moment before letting out a light croon as he got up – a silent reassurance that he’d be back.
Joel’s shoulders tensed but the alpha didn’t say anything as Tommy darted out the door, in search of a doctor and someone to go alert Maria that Joel was awake.
“It’s likely to be Aphasia,” the dark-skinned beta said as he turned away from Joel and looked towards Tommy.
“English?”
Merlin just shook his head at Tommy’s response, rolling his eyes as he did so.
“It’s an impairment of language. It can affect the production of language, as well as the comprehension of it, as well as impact the ability to read and write.”
…
Well fuck, Tommy thought as his eyes flittered down to a confused Joel who seemed to be exerting himself with just trying to understand what the two were saying, much less comprehending it.
But wait – “Joel was able to understand me when we were talking with our wolves.”
The statement made Merlin lift a dark eyebrow in questioning.
Tommy sighed and turned to Joel, catching the man’s attention immediately. The beta let his throat constrict as a purr bubbled up in his chest and caused a whinny, aborted sound to escape.
The beta was asking Joel if he was okay – if he was in any pain.
Joel blinked slowly before letting a hum vibrate through the room, changing back and forth in pitch; meaning Joel couldn’t tell.
Tommy frowned.
“You got him on any pain killers?” Tommy asked as he turned to the other beta who was studying them curiously.
“Yes,” he replied.
That probably meant Joel was feeling numb – the medication was either wearing off or the pain was bleeding through it.
Tommy turned back to the doctor – who just raised a brow at his expectant look. Tommy sighed.
“I asked if he was in pain and he said he wasn’t sure – probably means he’s feeling numb.”
Merlin nodded slowly.
“Melody and singing require the use of the right side of the brain so it’s likely the way you talk is using that side of the brain, meaning Joel can understand you easier.”
Tommy stared at the dark-skinned beta, dumbfounded.
“Brains are complicated,” Tommy settled on.
“Sure are,” Merlin snorted.
“Do you know what else could be wrong?” Tommy asked softly.
Merlin just sighed, “Could be anything really. Changes in personality and social behavior may occur, but whether they are subtle or not depends on how extensive the damage is. He’s likely to have some memory loss, but whether it is because of the psychological trauma of the event or because of brain injury will have to be determined later. Though he remembers you, so it’s likely to just be partial amnesia. He can experience loss of coordination, inability to judge distance and perform rapid, alternating movements. Honestly, at the moment anything is in the playing field.” The beta shrugged as he looked solemnly at Tommy.
“Jesus- Fuck!” Tommy hissed as he ran his hands through his hair – he absently noticed that they were shaking.
A growl tore through the room, startling both men who turned to Joel only to see the alpha glaring daggers at Merlin.
The man took it in stride though, releasing a soft chuckle. “Your scent has spiked – he probably thinks that’s my fault.”
Tommy huffed out a laugh as he turned back to Joel and sent him a reassuring smile. The beta was hoping that his brother wouldn’t catch the strain of the movement, but Joel obviously had – if the way his eyes narrowed was any indicator.
Joel opened his mouth to speak but was suddenly cut off as the door swung open and you waltzed in – looking like the epitome of anxiety and confidence.
Then nutmeg irises met (e/c) ones.