Solace
You groaned as you opened your eyes. Your body was sore, pleasantly so. Rolling onto your back, you stretched your arms above your head, wincing at the spike of pain that shot down your lower back.
“Good morning sleepyhead,” Joel’s gruff voice called out as he poked you in the cheek.
You lazily swatted away the offending hand and mumbled out your own greeting before stumbling out of bed and walking towards the bathroom.
“Don’t you want breakfast?”
You frowned and turned to look blearily at Joel. The alpha was now standing in the kitchen, a stack of pancakes on the bench and two mugs awaiting to be filled with coffee. You didn’t even bother to ask when Joel had brought over coffee nor how he managed to make breakfast without waking you.
“Shower first,” you mumbled and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.
You reeked of sex and arousal and sweat clung to your greasy skin. You wanted it off.
Quickly turning on the shower, not even waiting for it to warm up, you jumped in and started to lather yourself with the bar of soap that sat on the ledge under the shower head.
You were careful not to get your hair too wet. It was freezing outside and the last thing you needed was to catch a cold, especially as you could feel your heat starting to creep up. Last night only seemed to have spurred your pre-heat symptoms onward.
Though that wasn’t particularly surprising.
After drying off you came to the amazing realisation that you hadn’t brought any clothes in the bathroom. Your brain seemed to skip over the fact that you were naked.
Despite your… activities last night, you were more ‘sober’ and less out of your mind with hormones. Insecurity was a bitch.
“Hey, Joel!?” You called from behind the door.
“Yeah?”
“Can you, uh- grab me some clothes…please?” You felt your voice starting to trail off halfway through the sentence and you hoped that the alpha had heard because you really didn’t want to repeat yourself.
Not much later, a knock echoed through the door and you opened the door, hiding behind it, and stuck your hand out. The soft feeling of fabric met your fingers and you snatched it before slamming the door. You heard Joel chuckle.
Quickly chucking on your clothes, you stumbled out of the bathroom and plopped down onto a stool and swiped your coffee and down it in one go. Then you quickly stole Joel’s and finished that off too.
“Oi!”
You laughed at the betrayed look the alpha sent you and stuck your tongue out.
“Who knows when I’ll get my coffee beans back? Might as well take advantage,”
“My coffee beans,” Joel grumbled before stuffing a pancake into his mouth.
The two of you ate with chatter and banter filling the silence. Once you were both finished you grabbed the dishes and started to clean up.
“You and Maria setting up the Mess hall today?”
“Hm? Oh! Yeah, we are,” you replied happily, “someone found these fairy lights so we’re gonna hang those up and then we gotta clean and clear th-” you rambled on and Joel listened to you with a fond look on his face.
It seemed that tonight was going to be something to look forward to.
You and Maria nodded along listlessly as you pretended to pay attention to Dina’s rantings as the three of you made your way about the mess hall. Hanging up lights, cleaning the bar, clearing the tables out of the way and cleaning the floors. A band was setting up as you three worked, practicing their songs and warming up their instruments.
“-ust doesn’t get it! That and he can just be so- so- Ugh!” Dina’s rambling came to stop and you turned back to see an upset expression adorning the girl’s face.
“Hey,” you called out to the beta, “you’ll be fine. What’s meant to be, will be.”
You knew that those words were usually taken the wrong way by most. That people thought that you were just brushing them off. But to you, they helped accept things that just didn’t make sense. It helped.
The beta sighed.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Besides,” you shrugged, a wicked grin slipping onto your face, “just gotta put on you’re A-game tonight as a big ‘fuck you’ to Jesse – you’ll feel better for it.”
Dina laughed and Maria sent an amused look your way.
You turned back to continue hanging up the fairy lights, diligently ignoring the creaky ladder under your feet.
It wasn’t much later that the three of you stopped and one of the cooking volunteers came out and provided you with some late lunch.
“Thank you,” Maria responded kindly as she took her dish from the lanky man.
You all settled onto one of the tables that were pushed up against the wall.
“So…” Dina smirked at you – this doesn’t look fun, you thought as you narrowed your eyes, “You and Joel, huh?”
You groaned at the insinuation that the girl had probably managed to catch a whiff of last night’s events – sadly you couldn’t wash off all traces as your flat was polluted with the smell – and dropped your head onto the table dramatically.
Maria muffled a laugh with a polite cough and sent you an intrigued look before politely stating, “it was about time”.
Dina broke off into laughter at that and you just stared longing at the ground, wishing it would just swallow you up.
Eventually, it died down and when you peaked up at the two, they were both looking at you for answers.
You let out a long, suffering sigh.
“Finee,” you groaned, “yes we had sex. Happy now?”
Maria chocked on her water at the crude language and Dina looked delighted.
“I knew it!” the beta cackled, “Ellie’s owes me a painting!”
You raised your brow at the outburst.
Dina, at least, had the courtesy to look a little guilty.
“We- uh, made bets,” she confessed.
You just rolled your eyes.
“She seems to like doing that,” you smiled fondly.
“What!? Did she make a bet with you!? What was it!?!” The beta gasped excitedly as she prodded you for answers.
“Yes she did, no I’m not telling you, deal with it.”
Dina pouted at your lackluster response but, thankfully, dropped it.
After lunch, the three of you made the last few touch-ups to the area.
You smiled as you watched Dina dance around with some guy. A smile was plastered across her lips and happiness radiated off of the beta in waves. The attention she was attracting was enormous, she was certainly putting on a show.
The upbeat music thrummed through you as you leaned back on the bar bench, standing next to Ellie, the both of you were nursing a glass of alcohol as you watched Dina parade around.
Ellie’s eyes were filled with fondness as she watched the dancing figure flit around the room.
The two of you hadn’t said much.
When Ellie had slipped in she immediately got her hands on some alcohol and was quite tense around you. You suspected it had something to do with Joel. But in due time, the alpha wound down as she watched Dina laugh on the dance floor and you hadn’t pushed for any conversation.
“I hate these things,” Jesse’s sudden appearance startled you, but you didn’t show it.
“Tell me about it,” Ellie huffed.
The two continued their conversation. You didn’t bother to join.
When Joel was brought up, you could tell that Ellie wasn’t in the mood. You sighed to yourself as you took another swing of whiskey. You knew Joel was going to be late, but you were bored.
“-putting on quite the show,”
You focused back in on the conversation and smirked into your glass as the two watched Dina finish up her dance.
“I give you two weeks until you’re back together,” Ellie remarked as she looked over to Jesse.
“Not gonna happen,” the other responded, before pausing and continuing, “she uh… say something to you?”
Ellie snorted.
“Make it one week,” the alpha said as she elbowed you, silently signaling she’s changed her bet.
You rolled your eyes and watched as Dina sassily ignored Jesse and dragged Ellie off onto the dance floor. It was then that you felt someone nudge you shoulder.
You looked over to your right and saw Joel.
“Wanna dance?” The alpha asked as the music slowed into something softer.
You huffed out a laugh.
“Don’t blame me if I step on your toes,”
Joel shot you a smile before dramatically bowing and offering you his hand.
“Milady.”
Chuckling, you set your half-empty glass onto the counter before grasping Joel’s hand and being led away.
You let Joel wrap his arms around your waist and pull you flush against his chest.
In return, you delicately wrapper your arms around his neck, bringing your heads together.
Joel started to move along with the beat and you looked down, watching his steps and carefully following them. Eventually, you found your rhythm and started to gently sway in place.
“So…How’d I do?” You asked – referring to the mess hall set up.
“I’ve seen better,” Joel said offhandedly, earning a pout from you and drawing a laugh from him.
“Nah, you guys did amazing,”
You smiled at the compliment, leaning forwards to bury your face in the alpha’s neck. When you peaked over his shoulder, however, you saw Dina catch Ellie’s lips in a kiss.
“Don’t look now…But I think you’re daughter just got herself a girlfriend,” you smiled up at Joel’s confused look and let the alpha spin you around so he could see what you were talking about.
“Always thought those two were friends,” he mumbled.
You snorted at the comment.
“Those two were lovesick for each other since I met them,”
The alpha chuckled before-
“Hey!”
The both of you pulled apart slightly to watch an older alpha stride up to the two, frowning slightly at the interaction.
“This is a family event,”
The girls frowned at the man, but were too happy to bother and shrugged it off.
But you could see the tension building and could feel the slight growl that rumbled through Joel’s chest.
The two started to walk away, Dina throwing one last comment over her shoulder before-
“Oh great, that’s just what this town needs,”
You could feel Joel start to pull away from you as the two of you watched the interaction unfold.
“Another loud-mouthed dyke,”
A growl ripped through Ellie as she turned back to the offending man.
“The fuck did you just say!?”
“Ellie. Ellie, don’t,”
Dina was trying to calm down the alpha, as Joel’s warmth left you as he shoved the other alpha back; the music pausing as people started to watch.
“Get the hell outta here,” Joel rumbled as he stood in front of the girls.
“Get your hands off me,” the alpha snarled.
“Hey! Hey! Enough,” Maria and Tommy quickly ushered the man outside and you frowned as you watched Joel check on Ellie. Silently making your way over.
“What is wrong with you?” Ellie spat.
“He had no right—”
“And you do?” Ellie scowled, before- “I don’t need your fucking help Joel”
You could hear the people around you murmuring, but you focused on Joel – trying to hide his pain through an expressionless mask.
“Right,” was all he said before he walked out.
You went to go after him but decided to check on Ellie first.
“Hey, you guys okay?” You asked, as you grabbed Ellie by the shoulders, inspecting her closely, even though you knew she wasn’t injured.
“I- uh yeah,” Ellie looked confused as to why you were there.
“We’re okay, thanks (y/n)” Dina said, wrapping her arm around Ellie’s waist.
You smirked as Ellie blushed.
You had definitely won that bet.
“Okay, I’m going to check on Joel. If you two need anything you know where to find me,” you sent a smile before making your way out of the mess hall.
“Wait!”
You turned back to Ellie. She was standing in the doorway, nervously clutching her arm. A guilty expression dawned on her face.
“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not the one who needs to hear those words,” Ellie nodded, looking defeated until- “remember what I told you.”
Has this person hurt you enough to make you hate where you are now, how far you’ve come and make you yearn to go back and change reality?
Ellie looked at you and something seemed to click because-
“You know… you know about me,”
“Don’t let Joel get drunk,” you said simply.
Ellie snorted before quietly asking, “what should I do?”
You regarded the alpha for a moment.
“Do what your heart tells you to. In moments like these, your head won’t get you anywhere,”
There was no response, and you weren’t expecting one.
Turning around, you trudged through the snow, heading towards Joel’s place.
There was no answer when you knocked on Joel’s door. When you tried the doorknob, you found that it was unlocked.
“Joel?” You called out as you let yourself inside.
Silence.
You frowned, before heading further inside, the hacking of wood filtering through the house.
Making your way slowly upstairs, you stopped at the doorway of Joel’s studio, watching as the alpha violently hacked into the wooden block in front of him, losing all of the grace and patience he usually showed when he carved.
“Joel?”
There was no response and you sighed as you made your way inside the room, resting your hand on the alpha’s bicep as a silent gesture for him to stop.
“Hey,” you called softly as you gently pried the knife from Joel’s grip, “you’re okay Joel. Ellie’s okay. You’ll both get through this.”
You continued your nonsequential muttering until you had Joel’s face cupped in your hands and you let the man sag against you in defeat, his head burying itself in the juncture of your shoulder.
A purr bubbled up in your chest and you allowed it; letting the soothing sound fill the room and thrum through your chest.
“I don’t know what to do,” Joel rasped as he tightened his arms around your waist.
You sighed as you carded your fingers through brunette hair.
“Joel,” you pushed at the alpha so he could see you properly, “what happened, happened; and you and I both know that you would’ve done the same thing a hundred times over. You’ve got to let Ellie come to terms that you had taken the value of her immunity away from her. Nothing is easy and you- you just gotta be there for her, okay? Let her come to you; and when she does, don’t question it, just be there.”
Joel was quiet for some time as he processed this.
“Yeah… I think you’re right,”
You smiled as Joel pulled away.
“I’ll make some coffee alright, why don’t you grab your guitar? I haven’t heard you play in ages.”
The alpha chuckled before heading off to grab his guitar as you darted down to the kitchen.
“I’ll meet you outside,” Joel called as he walked past you and stepped out on the porch.
The muffled strumming of music filtered through the kitchen as you made your way about making the two of you coffee.
It was as you went to open the door to the porch that you heard voices. Ducking behind the wall so your shadow wouldn’t be seen snooping, you listened into the conversation.
“I had Seth under control.”
Seth? You presumed he was the one that had harassed Ellie and Dina.
“Yeah, I know,”
“And you need to stop harassing Jesse about my patrols.”
“…Okay”
It was silent for a while and, for a minute, you thought that Ellie had left before-
“Dina…Is she your girlfriend?”
“No! No she - that was just one kiss, it didn’t mean anything, she just- I don’t know why she did that,”
You stifled a giggle at Ellie’s blatant denial.
“But, you do like her?”
You could hear Ellie’s murmur something, but you couldn’t make it out.
“Look, I have no idea what that girl’s intentions are, but… I do know that she would be lucky to have you.”
A smile tugged at your lips at the words as the two descended into a short bout of silence once again, before Ellie eloquently broke it with-
“You’re such an asshole,”
“I’m not trying to—”
“I was supposed to die in that hospital. My life would’ve fucking mattered! But you took that from me,” Ellie’s voice was starting to clog up. You wondered if she was crying.
“If somehow the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment… I would do it all over again,”
Sadness flooded you, but you knew that those were words that Ellie needed to hear. She deserved to know.
“Yeah… I just… I don’t think I could ever forgive you for that,” there was a brief pause, “But I would like to try,”
“I’d like that,”
You couldn’t help but smile at the two.
“Okay… Well, I’ll see you around.”
Ellie’s retreating footsteps echoed through the walls and when you were sure she was gone you walked through the door before handing Joel his cup of coffee.
“You doing okay Cowboy?”
Joel huffed a laugh, before nodding.
“Yeah,” he said quietly before turning his head to the side to face you, “thank you,”
“I didn’t do anything,” you shrugged, “that was all you.”
“I guess so,”
The two of you spent the rest of the evening finishing off your coffee before retreating inside.
And if you stayed the night at Joel’s place? Well, that was nobody’s business but your own.