Drunken Truths
You groaned at the light flooding into your room. Your head was pounding and you had to fight down the urge to throw up.
Your memories were hazy.
From what you could remember, you and Joel had ended up stealing a bottle of vodka from the mess hall and had decided to play truth or drink – or whatever the fuck Joel had called it – when you had made it back to your place.
It got hazy from there fast.
The game was honestly a stupid idea since both you and Joel were rather private people and basically, at every question, each of you were downing shots. You were pretty sure after that the game had gotten more interesting as you tended to get loose-lipped when you drank – but you wouldn’t know because you couldn’t fucking remember!
Damn you and your stupid competitive streak, cause the damn minute Joel had the gall to insinuate that you were a coward you soon found yourself sitting at the table pouring drinks.
You went to roll off the bed, only to be pulled back. Frowning, you cursed your bed for not letting you leave.
“Stop moving,” a voice murmured from behind you, pulling you back again. You froze – so at least their request was fulfilled… for approximately 3 seconds.
You screeched before forcefully flinging yourself out of the grip and ended up tangled in the sheets on the ground, and god that wasn’t a good idea.
Your stomach rolled and it was like you could feel the colour draining from your face. Funnily enough, you managed to haul ass to the bathroom before completely losing whatever the fuck was in your stomach and emptying it all into the bathtub… Nice.
“That was elegant,” the voice – you now recognised it as Joel’s – snarked from the doorway behind you.
You couldn’t stop retching, but somewhere in between your gasping for breath and drowning in your own stomach fluids you managed to tell Joel to fuck off – no matter how weak and chocked off it sounded.
Either way, it was an achievement in your opinion.
“You ain’t looking much better over there cowboy,” you rasped, voice hoarse from your stomach acids burning your throat and your mouth was as dry as a desert. You watched Joel lazily from where you were draped awkwardly over the bathtub.
“Probably feeling better than you since I chucked everything up last night,” Joel would probably look much more smug with himself if he weren’t as drained as you.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever asshat.”
You pushed yourself slowly up off the ground and turned on the shower to let your… fluids wash down the drain.
Pushing past the alpha, you ambled over to your kitchen, grabbing out a bowl and some milk.
“Want some cereal?” You offered Joel.
“Nah,” the alpha sat down in front of you, “you sure you’re gonna be able to keep that down?”
You paused.
Good point.
Even though you were hungry, you couldn’t really stand the thought of ending back up in the bathroom.
Sighing, you put everything away before flopping down on the seat next to Joel, groaning dramatically as you rested your sweaty head against the cool marble of the kitchen bench.
After a few minutes, you felt Joel’s hand running itself along your back.
“What’re you doing?” You mumbled.
There was no answer but you didn’t mind. Your body was sore and tired after going against gravity and Joel’s fingers quickly worked away your muscle knots.
You were so content that you couldn’t help the whine that bubbled up in your chest when those hands suddenly stopped. Grumbling, you opened your eyes to look back at Joel only to see his face painted in surprise. Frowning, you took a minute to come back to your senses and it was then that you realised that you were purring.
You probably would’ve felt way more embarrassed by it, but you were tired and didn’t have the energy to rein back your omega so you just whined again and that managed to spur Joel on to continue his impromptu massage.
Joel could feel the vibrations rattling your chest and traveling down his arms. Honestly, he was quite surprised that you had started to purr.
It wasn’t necessarily rare for an omega to purr but it was usually a more intimate reaction saved for family and loved ones. To say that you felt comfortable enough to purr in front of the alpha… Well, you could imagine that Joel’s alpha was on cloud nine.
Joel couldn’t get that melodic sound out of his head, even hours after your quiet morning together.
The alpha could remember the night decently well, all things considering. But he’s pretty sure that at some point he had spilled something that hadn’t wanted to… But he couldn’t remember. Hopefully, you couldn’t either.
You had shared memories and times of your travels around with your pack and Joel had shared some about his and Ellie’s travels around the country.
At some point, he was pretty sure that you two had started to have a rant about humanity and society as a whole. Surprisingly, you were rather wise and open-minded to different opinions and ideals, but also stuck to your guns when it came to instinct and your own experiences. You were head-strong and were more than happy to rant to Joel about everything under the sun.
Even though parts had gotten hazy with how quick you both were downing shots, it was a relatively fun night.
“You look beat,”
Joel turned his attention to his brother, who looked equal amounts amused and concerned.
The alpha just hummed in answer.
“Imma presume you two were the ones who stole that bottle of vodka,” Tommy mused as you watched his brother shrug.
Perhaps this is our punishment for thinking we were above the laws of nature – that we had beaten the system.
Your words from last night had rung out through Joel’s head… they were bothering him. Joel didn’t exactly believe in karma, too busy trying to keep himself alive to worry about the significance of his actions. But your words kept pestering him.
“What do you think about karma?” Joel asked his brother.
“Uh… Where’d this come from?” The beta questioned, confusion evident on his face.
“(y/n) said something last night, just been bothering me,” Joel shrugged as he continued to help Tommy dismantle the pile of guns in front of them – checking to see if anything needed fixing.
“Oh? Do tell,”
“She asked whether this was our punishment – the infection that is. Wondered if it happened because we thought that we were above the laws of nature,” the alpha pause, “I dunno, it’s been bothering me is all.”
“Hmm,” Tommy leaned down and rested his head in his hand, “why don’t you ask her? Because to me, it could be karma or it could just be insinuating that this was just a wakeup call that we aren’t above nature or whatever,” the beta said as he waved his hand around.
“Pretty sure she ain’t remember much from last night,” Joel grunted.
Tommy shrugged, “ain’t mean she doesn’t got the same ideals.”
“True…” the alpha frowned, “I think she’ll be going into heat soon.”
Tommy’s brows rose.
“First of all, Imma ignore that blatant change of subject” – Joel rolled his eyes - “Secondly, why?”
“Scent’s been getting’ stronger and she was purring this morning.”
“That could’ve just been the alcohol,” Tommy pointed out.
“Better safe than sorry,” Joel shrugged.
Well, Joel was definitely right as your scent was rather powerful as you walked around town doing chores with Dina.
Your skin was itchy and you felt flushed.
“Hey, you okay?” Dina inquired when you had stopped dead in your tracks.
“Yeah, just- heat…?”
The beta frowned.
“Do you need to stop? Go to the infirmary? Should I tell Jo-”
Dina stopped when you had raised your hand to silence her.
“I’m fine,” you insisted – ignoring the slight wheeze in your voice, “I can keep going.”
That just earnt a raised brow and a flat look from the beta.
“I ain’t wanna deal with you getting jumped again,”
You snorted, “I won-”
“(y/n)!”
Your knees had buckled and you grabbed at your throbbing head – fuck drinking was a terrible idea.
I couldn’t tell her-
You frowned at the bleary voice.
She-… died
That sounded like Joel… What the fuck!?
St Mary’s… Didn’t have a choice –
You and Joel were sprawled on opposite sides of the coffee table. Shot glasses were scattered around the room and at some point one of you had thrown one against the wall, leaving a puddle of glass on the floor.
“Your turn,” Joel said – he was starting to look a little queasy, which was fair as you two had been downing shots for the better half of an hour.
You hummed in thought as you looked away from the alpha for a moment.
Images, voices, and memories flooded your brain and then-
“What happened between you and Ellie?”
Silence.
The alpha didn’t even reach for his shot glass, just sat there – stunned.
“Are you o-”
“She’s immune,” the alpha rasped, causing you to tilt your head in confusion.
“To the infection?”
“Yeah…” the two of you sat in silence for a moment, absorbing the information.
“…How did you know?” You whispered – you couldn’t imagine having that fear of one of your pack members. At least Mai made things easier for you in some respects.
“Got a job from the Fireflies to smuggle a little girl. Got caught at the border and then she was scanned and we found out she was infected – had been for three weeks apparently.”
You nodded your head, even though Joel’s eyes weren’t on you.
Perhaps if you weren’t so drunk you’d be panicking.
“We traveled halfway across the country together,” Joel’s voice starting to get a little hoarse, “I-we… I had kind of pushed all of my past away. But I guess she just reminded me so much of Sarah in some ways and the next thing I knew we were going on this crazy mission to go find the Fireflies.”
You cocked your head to the side, “what d’ya mean?”
“Military had gunned down all the people we were s’posed to meet at the rendezvous. Basically ended up going on this big hunt for the remaining Fireflies.”
You hummed in acknowledgment and let Joel continue.
“Either way, we found them… They were actually gonna make a cure. This would’ve all been over… But I didn’t let them and when she woke up in that car”- you heard Joel’s breath hitch before he shakily exhaled – “I couldn’t tell her… Because if they went through with the surgery… If they were to make a cure… It would’ve killed her. She would’ve died,” the alpha rasped, his scent starting to get thick with sadness – you released some of your own pheromones in hopes to help relax the tired man before you.
Joel sighed.
“I couldn’t leave her there. I couldn’t lose someone else… So I took her and fled… FUCK!” Joel shouted and pounded his fist into the ground – causing you to jump, “they didn’t even ask her. She was just going to die on a table, with no idea…”
The alpha had gone quiet.
You pocked your head over the table to see if Joel had finally passed out. He hadn’t. Instead, his eyes were trained on the ceiling as he completely ignored the water running from them.
Your omega whimpered at the sight and before you had realised, you had rounded the little table and were in front of the alpha, blocking out his view of the ceiling.
“A while ago she went back…” Joel rasped, “she found tapes, bodies…”
Sighing the alpha sat upwards, ending with his lap full of you.
You brought your hand up to gently wipe away the stray tears as you patiently waited for him to finish.
“She had snuck out in the middle of the night. God. I was so worried,” Joel leaned into your palm, “…She demanded to know what happened and… and I told her and- you should’ve seen her. She was so upset – so hurt. I… She’s stayed distant ever since and… I don’t know what to do, because I would’ve done the same thing a hundred times over if it meant she would’ve lived.”
You huffed out a laughed.
“What?”
“You’re such a sap,” you smiled before you let your face drift into something more solemn. “But I understand.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I do. Perhaps this is our punishment for thinking we were above the laws of nature – that we had beaten the system. Perhaps we were naïve. But you should always remember,” -you said softly as you brushed some stray hair behind Joel’s ear -“that trust is both strong and fragile. You had broken hers, and while I would’ve probably done the same thing, it will take time to rebuild. She has to learn to accept this and move on – whether that be with or without you… I know it hurts, but she’s alive Joel. You’re the reason that she is. All you can do for her is be there, okay?”
Joel didn’t respond, only wrapped his arms around your mid-section – dragging you closer – before burying his face if your neck.
“Thank you,” he whispered against your skin.
“Anytime cowboy,”
Joel chuckled, lifting his face from the juncture of your shoulder.
“You know what?”
“Hmm?”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
You chuckled, leaning forward so your heads were pressed together.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” the alpha breathed before leaning in and-