shikamaru (nsfw) || “walls”; sick shit
“Look, ever since I started meds, it’s been… hard.”
Shikamaru tossed you a Capri-sun lemonade from the cooler, landing squarely in your palm. You frowned. “If it was hard, wouldn’t it be easier?”
“Nah, it’s not—see, I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“That’s an annoying sentence.” You jam the straw into the top, fumbling to puncture it correctly. “It’s also wrong. I’ve struggled with anorgasmia before. I just don’t personally have a cock.” He looks at you funny, watches the packet shrivel up in an instant. “Can’t you get a ring or some other toy? Or is the struggle getting horny?”
“I don’t fucking know, (Y/n).” That was a boldfaced lie. Every time you came over, he didn’t take his meds that day in order to jack off after you left. Of course, he couldn’t tell you that, especially since he scheduled this last minute and took his meds today, but he was struggling to think several steps ahead, what with your casual tone. It brought to mind images of you touching yourself, but judging by your cavalier attitude, you definitely weren’t thinking about him when you did. “Maybe I’ll buy a ring next month if I have money leftover, but it’s not a priority of mine.”
“Good. You’re so pent up these days, it’s like I always catch you at a bad time.”
“Well, I don’t really plan on talking about masturbation with you.” Shikamaru sips from his own Capri-sun, only noticing your intent gaze when he happens to glance your way. The jounin jumped. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“If your problem is jacking off, I can help with that.” You cross your legs, visibly interested, for whatever reason. “I thought it was just… y’know…”
Shikamaru raises an eyebrow with a slight smile. “Thought it was what?”
You stumble a bit in your words, reddening slightly and mumbling something about ice for the cooler. The jacket covering your thighs waited for you at your seat, and as you bent down to scoop some ice into a cup, he nearly lost his breath. Jesus Christ, that was a short skirt. If he was a lesser man, he would have gone over there and…
No. Keep it in check, Shikamaru. She’s not interested. And she’s your friend. Whenever he thought about you, specifically in that way, it was never under the assumption that the two of you would get together. For starters, you were way out of his league. Adorable, chill to hang out with, good at shogi, not some crazy shinobi prodigy who would go out and get herself killed. A fantastic ass. Genuinely kind, too. Not so far that you would pout when he wanted to make fun of strangers, but definitely nice enough to always bring something over, even when it was something as casual as a last-minute hangout on the weekend.
Not to mention the fact that you had to have someone in your life by now. Shikamaru waited too long to make his move, and that’s on him. He and Temari parted on terms good enough for him to jack off to, but bitter enough to dredge up that self-hatred as soon as he finished.
“You’re staring, you know.” The eyebrow perched high up on your forehead snaps him out of his daze. “Jeez, didn’t know it was bad enough for you to get distracted by me. You need some pussy, good sir.”
Shikamaru could think of nothing to say. You glanced at him and reddened, balling nervous handfuls of your sweatshirt into your fists. “Don’t sell yourself short,” he finally manages, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts. “And I can get pussy, mind you.”
This only makes your blush worse, and you swallow forcefully, vehemently avoiding eye contact, before taking the blanket and pizza rolls and making your way towards the fire escape.
You were so easy to tease. And so cute when embarrassed, too. “By all means, go first,” he called out with a smirk he didn’t even notice crawling onto his face, and you stopped dead in your tracks, retreating further into your oversized hoodie. “I’d love the view.”
“Shut up, poindexter,” you mumble, pushing the blanket into his arms. “Go get the hard cider from the fridge. I’ll see you up there.”
It would be easier to handle if he would stop teasing you about it.
The setup was painfully obvious, but it still worked. Hey, I’m in town. Let’s sit on the fire escape, microwave some shitty convenience store food, and look at the night sky. I’ll bring alcohol. It’s the closest you’ve ever gotten to asking someone out on a date. Shikamaru had been a close friend for years, ever since your genin days, before you flunked out, and truly the only person you found laid-back enough to hang out with at any time.
You would sit on the roof of the school, and he would listen as you complained about oblivious guys and girls, and he would only really talk about himself if you asked. You would ask how his day went, and he’d mention what antics Naruto pulled that day, which ones he took part in, how good of a nap he had in the afternoon. Things he seemed to treat as mundane or uninteresting, but which intrigued you to no end simply because it was him. He was the one guy at school you were comfortable around, who understood how confused you were when instead of asking you out, Kiba left dog treats at your desk then got angry when you didn’t respond. Despite his intelligence and amazing romantic advice, he never seemed to pick up on the fact that you always wanted him to show interest in you.
And no, not just the questions he would ask about you. Not just friendly interest. You wanted him to like you, to want to hold your hand, to compete for your affection like Ino and Sakura did for Sasuke. You wanted him to be your first serious relationship, but never had the stones to say it out loud. You didn’t want to get the Hinata treatment.
Shikamaru seemed to have an entire world in his head, one you wanted so desperately to be a part of, but could never be. And it made it infinitely harder when he joke-flirted with you like this.
You had placed him so far outside your realm of possibility that when he stood there, transfixed, just when you bent over without thinking, it felt almost like some earth-shattering paradigm shift.
Maybe you didn’t have to risk some sort of mortifying confession in order to wake up next to him. After all, you had a no-strings-attached fling with Kiba for a few years, and that wasn’t something secret and dirty. It was open and dirty. Shikamaru never talked about his love or sex lives, except for mentioning jacking off in that tone he used that you could never really tell was joking or not. Not to mention, he was struggling with the same thing he helped you deal with so many years ago, so…
Maybe you could repay the favor.
You shivered against the metal bars of the fire escape, the very top of it. Even in your sweatshirt, it was freezing. Spreading the first sheet out over the floor, you swaddled yourself in the blanket, slightly warmer, and pulled up your last conversation with Temari.
Are you sure this is going to work out?
Yeah, totally. There’s nothing he likes more than lying on his back doing nothing and looking at the sky.
Well, except for you.
Obviously she knew him well, but you still held doubt in your chest, colder and harder than a freshly sharpened kunai. You would probably have more luck showing up naked on his bed, to be honest, but once Temari picked up on your crush, she insisted you try this out first.
Someone clears their throat. You switch off your phone swiftly, glancing over. Shikamaru in… grey sweatpants and a black tank top, dutifully carrying your hard cider and a plate of pizza rolls. Oh. He let his hair down. You try to suppress the heat rushing to your face. “Hi,” you said, hoping the cocoon of blanket didn’t look completely ridiculous.
Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. “Hello.” He approached your square of warmth and you politely scooted over, giving him enough space to stretch out. “Man, it’s freezing,” he exhales shakily. The pizza rolls steam between the two of you.
“The sky is prettier, though. From up here.” You graze a roll with your middle finger, testing the heat by sacrificing your least necessary fingerprint. “Remember when we’d skip lunch and look at the clouds in school?”
Shikamaru nodded. “Except you would’ve given me that blanket back then if it was this damn cold.”
“Hey, I’m wearing a skirt.”
“And I don’t have sleeves. Guess we have to compromise.”
Trying to conceal your nerves with annoyance, you huff and unwrap yourself from the blanket, offering it to him to drape over the two of you. He let it fall, but it wasn’t quite big enough for there to be much distance between the two of you.
“Well, shit,” he muttered, “guess we’ll have to huddle for warmth.”
With a sigh, you sidled up next to him, and he moved an arm around your shoulder, resting his hand on your right wrist.
Shikamaru’s heartbeat was startlingly close. It gained speed as you snuggled closer, his body heat amazingly high. “You’re eager, huh,” he teased, and without a proper retort, you simply kept your mouth shut and watched steam rise and curl from the few uneaten pizza rolls. “Don’t get embarrassed on me now, (Y/n). It’s been a long time since I’ve done this, too.”
“Guessing it’s been a long time since you’ve done a lot of things,” you snarked, and he exhaled.
“You’re not wrong.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Took me awhile to find the meds that worked for me. Before I did, I treated Temari like shit and couldn’t take care of her or myself. My mental health is a higher priority than getting my dick wet, you know.”
“Yeah, but,” you sit up slightly, “they can go hand in hand.”
“What do you mean?”
“You mentioned earlier that you can get hard and all that, but cumming is the part that’s difficult.”
Something like a blush spreads across Shikamaru’s face. “I mean… well, yeah.”
“Well, the way I worked through that was just trying harder.”
“Trying harder?”
You turn a little, making consistent eye contact. “When I couldn’t climax, it made me feel like shit, you know? So I kept going. I tried harder to ejaculate.” The rosy tint along his cheeks was something new, something titillating. “What I’m trying to say is, you can’t cum on your own, so if you want, I can suck your dick and see if that works.”
He was full-on red, now. Crimson. “Huh?”
“Only if you want me to.” You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. “You don’t have to say yes.”
“I do want you to, though.” Oh, jeez. You weren’t expecting him to sound so sure. “It just sort of came out of the blue.”
“That’s the goal,” you grinned, and once the dirty pun set in, he blushed even more. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, and he reached for his pants, but you stopped him. “What makes you think you know what you’re doing?”
“I know how to take off my pants, smartass.”
“You don’t have to do that yet. Just lean back and let me try my best, okay?”
“O—okay.”
You trace up and down the inner seam of his sweatpants, fingering where exactly his sex was. Your stomach fluttered somewhat at the size. And it was only semi-hard… You climbed on top of him so as to better assess the situation. He grew more erect, the tent pitched in his boxer briefs growing more prominent. At your touch, Shikamaru physically tensed, clearly biting back a groan. Grasping his tip through the fabric, you rubbed the back of it, making sure to feel for the most sensitive parts based off of the sounds leaving his lips.
When you leaned back for a moment, he let out an audible whine, but swiftly quieted down once you removed your sweatshirt. His dick stiffened again, rock hard and twitching. As soon as his tip started to wet the fabric with precum, you tugged at his waistband and he sighed in relief.
Pulling his pants down, you jumped a little at the realization that he wasn’t wearing underwear.
“Shikamaru!” You push them back up, face heating up again. “Goddamn! You always do think five steps ahead, don’t you, you little pervert?”
“It’s—it’s not like that, (Y/n), I just…” He scratches the back of his head, desperately searching for an out. “Okay, you know the whole grey sweatpants thing?” You nod. “Well, I was trying to impress you, alright? And it didn’t stand out when I wore underwear.”
“You wanted to impress me?” Your cheeks must have been on fire. “Why?”
“Cause I like you, (Y/n).” He refuses to make eye contact. “You’re hot and sweet and cute and my closest friend, and I like you. And now you’re about to give me platonic head and I just didn’t want to wake up before the dream got good, okay?”
He only looks back at you when you lift up his shirt to slide your palm across his stomach. “You really thought this was going to be platonic?”
“Wh…?” Shikamaru’s ears were turning red, too. “(Y/n), you…” He grips the holes in the fire escape floor through the sheet. “Do you…?”
“Yeah, I like you, too,” you confess, “have for a while now, but can we please save it for a little later? I really want to suck you off, nerd. Now.”
“My bare ass on your picnic blanket. You sure that’s okay?”
“I have a coupon for the laundromat, don’t worry about a thing.” You lower his sweatpants down to his knees, his cock aimed right up towards his chest. You run your fingertips up and down his shaft, eliciting shudders throughout his whole body. “You’ll cum all over my face anyways, if you’re worried about that,” you murmur, glancing up at him, and all he can do is moan in response. You lick up his side, his thick cock twitching for you. “Shikamaru, I think it likes me,” you tease, sucking on his head before letting off and kissing the tip.
“Do you want me to hold your hair back?” His voice is so low, his own dark locks falling into his face. Without responding, you guide his hand to your hair to hold it in place before taking all of him in your mouth.
Bobbing up and down, you make sure not to let your teeth graze the sensitive skin, and as soon as he hits the back of your throat, Shikamaru moans the loudest and cums. You nearly choke, lifting off of his cock, and as you do his ejaculate lands on your jaw and chin.
Some of it ended up on your hand. You spread your fingers, somewhat shocked at the consistency and at how fast he came. “You weren’t exaggerating, huh?” Your murmur doesn’t quite reach his ears. “Shikamaru?” No response. “Are you seriously unconscious?”
He twitches in his sleep, hand moving to subconsciously cover his cock. You soften, before remembering you would have to drag him inside if he didn’t wake up.
Once you’re finished cleaning up, you crawl on top of him and shake his shoulders. “Come on, Shikamaru. Wake up, we gotta haul ass before it gets really cold.”
The jounin opened an eye. “Oh, fuck.”
“Post nut clarity? I feel you. Now let’s go,” you tug at his tank top, watching him rub the sleep from his eyes. “Shika… come on. It’s freezing out.”
“You didn’t cum, though…”
“It’s fine! Really.” You push up his sweatpants and gather the blanket in your arms. “You can pay me back the favor later. Can we please go inside?”
“You sure?” Shikamaru pats his pockets, looking for his hair tie. “Oh, the pizza rolls got cold… (Y/n), you look like shit.”
“Thanks,” you chew on the somewhat waxy rolls, burying your face into the blanket. “Can we please just go inside now?”
“No, I mean you look crazy cold.” Before you could tell what was happening, the jounin secured your knees and shoulders, long fingers curling around your arm and thigh. Shikamaru wrapped the blanket around your form as you reflexively clung to his shirt. “I’ll clean up, don’t worry about it.”
He was… carrying you down the fire escape. “But my pizza rolls…”
“You microwaved them once, you can microwave them again,” Shikamaru shifted his grip to pick up the plate and set it in your lap. “I’m trying to be nice and make up for coming so early, (Y/n). Can you please let me at least attempt to take care of you?”
“I did you a favor cause I felt like it, not cause I wanted anything in return,” you mumble against his shirt, trying to ignore the fluttering in your chest, “but you can do what you want, I guess.”
“That’s a relief.” He slides your balcony door open and sets you down on the couch. “Cause I’ve been waiting ages to do you.”
You threw a pizza roll at his face.