The door clicked shut behind Ellie, but her hand seemed to be fused to the doorhandle. Staring at the aged, wooden door in front of her, she rested her head on the sturdy material. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes.
This was it.
She was going to walk and not look back. Her jaw was clenched so tightly she feared her teeth would shatter. But she wouldn't cry anymore. She had shed enough tears in the last six months to fill the widest ocean. They were relentless. Tumbling down her cheeks with no mercy. It was worse when she tried sleep. Dina wasn't there to wrap an arm around her waist and hold her close, there was no warmth seeping into her calloused skin. No fingers to thread through her auburn hair to keep the demons away.
So she accepted it for what it was.
Pain.
Fear.
Isolation.
So she didn't sleep, she didn't eat, she could just about keep water down. There was just no motivation to take care of herself. She simply didn't care. Her frame was skinnier, her hair brittle and her skin was dry.
It wasn't until she looked into the fleeting light in Abby's eyes, her hands wrapped around her throat, gasping and scrawling for breath, did she realise what was happening.
If she had killed Abby, drowned her under that murky water, she would of been no better than Abby herself.
So she let her live.
Not because she felt sorry for Abby, or because it would of weighed on her conscious. She did it because she could finally push through that thick, sludgy, consuming barrier of hate.
And she saw him.
Joel.
She let Abby go for Joel. He had spent the last five years of his life protecting the sweet, awkward and passionate girl that she was. That couldn't be for nothing. She couldn't lose that. That girl was still in there and she knew that if she had killed Abby, that girl would be lost forever.
So she let her live.
For Joel.
Without any resistance, she released the door handle. She let it go. Looking down at the bracelet on her wrist, she walked away.
And she didn't look back. But she knew that Joel was in that upstairs window, smiling down on her.
=================
The looming walls of Jackson appeared from where Ellie weaved through the thick forest. She could see two people posted above the gate, rifles resting in their laps. She knew there were also people on guard that she couldn't see, watching in case things went bad.
Better to be safe than sorry, that's what Joel had always told her.
Adjusting the straps on her backpack, she emerged from the treeline. She watched the rifles quickly point in her direction, the two men on guard standing to attention.
"That's far enough!"
She stood halfway to the gate and raised her hands.
"What's your business here?" The other spoke. A big burly man that Ellie didn't recognise.
"I used to live here, just coming back for a short while"
There was a long pause before the same man shouted down again "you used to live here?"
Ellie felt like rolling her eyes but instead bit the inside of her cheek "yes, I did"
She watched as the two men shared a brief look, one she couldn't decipher. However, she did notice that their fingers hadn't left the triggers of their guns.
"You got any weapons on you?"
"Of course I have weapons on me" she responded, her pistol and switchblade burning in her pants.
"Toss em' on the ground"
Looking between the two men, she considered refusing. She had never seen these men before, she didn't know if they had an itchy trigger finger. Why should she render herself defenceless just to gain entrance to her former home?
But then the sun caught in the bracelet on her wrist and she remembered why she was here. Who she was here for.
Her weapons hit the ground with a soft thud followed by her backpack.
"You said you used to live here?"
"That's right"
"You got someone who can vouch for you?"
Now that took her by surprise. Who could vouch for her? Brown eyes came to mind first. Brown eyes, black hair, soft supple skin, hands that used to hold her. Lips that used to whisper words of comfort, trace her body.
But then the hurt, the disappointment, the heartbreak that she had caused that poor girl came flooding back. Ellie didn't know if Dina would vouch for her, she didn't even know if Dina wanted to ever speak to her again. The realisation of the situation hit her harder than a punch to the gut.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she said "Maria"
A look of shock passed over both their faces before a radio crackled to life. They fumbled with their rifles before yelling down to open the gates.
A small smile grazed her lips, looks like Maria was still the boss.
The sound of the gate scraping against the dry ground brought with it a wave of nostalgia. Days of laughter, parties and dances when all the kids would sneak out after curfew. When she wasn't weighed down with all her burdens. Or burdens that had been placed upon her.
Finally walking forward Ellie nodded at the two men that had come down to meet her.
"Jim" The big scruffy man from before reached out with his large hand
"Ellie" she smiled and shook his hand, his hand practically swallowing hers.
The smaller man stepped forward, he looked to be in his late fifties with soft green eyes "name's James, sorry for all the questions. We ain't ever seen you round here before" he reached out and Ellie shook his hand, noticing the slightly limp grip.
"No it's ok, you can't be too careful these days"
"Exactly" he smiled, slinging his rifle over his shoulder.
"Maria told us to tell you she wants a word, she's out by the stables" the man she now knew as Jim reappeared at her side, holding out her backpack and weapons.
"Thank you, it was nice to meet you guys"
Jim tipped his stetson in her direction and James clapped her on the back, a warm smile on his wrinkled face.
Slinging her backpack over her shoulders, she took in the town for the first time. It seemed to be more alive than when she was last here, people were buzzing from every direction. She could hear the distant sound of metal clanging on metal, low chatter from people passing by and laughter from children in the small park to her left.
The warm air was a gentle caress on her face as she walked, hair blowing gently as it framed her face. The smell of hay and dirt became stronger as the stables came into view. There were about a dozen or so horses out in the paddock, lazing around in the midday sun. After asking around, she eventually found Maria in an empty stall, laying fresh hay on the floor.
"Hey"
She watched as the other woman straightened her spine and removed the gloves from her hands. When she turned around, Ellie was shocked to see how much Maria had aged since she last saw her.
Her hair was tied back in a low ponytail, making the wrinkles around her eyes and lips more visible. Her blue eyes had taken on a dull undertone, less vibrant. Her clothes seemed to be a size too big, making her small frame seem even more fragile.
Ellie barely recognised the woman in front of her.
Maria licked her lips before speaking "I wondered if you'd ever show up"
Ellie nodded her head, looking down at her fingers. Her voice was weak when she spoke "me too"
"Why are you here, Ellie?"
That was a difficult question to answer. Why was she here? To earn Dina's forgiveness? Ask for a second chance? To see her one last time?
"I don't know" she answered truthfully, staring at the dirt under her fingernails.
"Well I suggest you figure it out before you go and do something you'll regret. Again"
Her jaw clenched at the pinch in her chest "I won't do something I'll regret, Maria. I just want to see her"
"Well I'm not exactly sure she wants to see you" Maria walked out of the stall and locked the door, turning to face the girl in front of her "have you any idea what you put that poor girl through?"
Ellie took a step back and looked past Maria's burning eyes to the horse a few feet away "Of course I know what I've done"
"No" Maria shook her head, her lip curling "I don't think you do. You didn't see the state of her when she walked back through those gates"
"What do you mean? What state is she in? Is she ok--"
"She's ok physically" Maria sighed, leaning her weight against the wall behind her. Her eyes softened as she took in Ellie's panicked state "But Ellie, I really don't think you understand what you've done. If you did, I don't think you'd ever show your face to her again"
The auburn haired girl released a shallow breath. She knew Maria was right. She had broken something in Dina that she feared couldn't be fixed again "yeah"
A moment passed before a hand was placed on her shoulder "but you're here now, that's gotta count for something. You came back"
Her lower lip trembled as she held back tears that burned in her eyes "what if that's not enough?"
She was pulled into a hug then. It was a welcome source of comfort that she hadn't felt in a long, long time. Ellie reciprocated immediately.
"Come on" Maria pulled back and lead them out of the stables "no one's moved into your house since you left so you can stay there for however long you need"
Ellie nodded her head, blinking away the unshed tears "thank you, Maria. Really"
She watched as the older woman shrugged her shoulders, a hint of a smile on her lips. They got to their destination soon enough. A few people came up and welcomed Ellie back with a warm smile and a few words. It was a gesture she hadn't expected to get. Dina was very popular in Jackson and Ellie had figured she had told everyone that Ellie had abandoned her.
"I wouldn't wait too long before going to see Dina" Maria said, standing in the doorway as Ellie set her bag down on her familiar old couch "word spreads fast in this town, best she hears you're back from you. Not from some gossiping hen"
Ellie nodded her head, rubbing her eyes with her fingers. It had been a long day. With walking the whole way to Jackson from the farm and doing more talking than she had done collectively in the last six months, she was exhausted. She just wanted to lay down for a few minutes.
"Is um... is she staying at her old house? Or did she move in with Jesse's parents?"
"No, she's back at her old place. I figure you know your way there fairly well" The smirk she sent Ellie took her off guard and she couldn't help but laugh softly.
"Yeah"
A silence passed over them as Maria stared at the girl in front of her, she truly didn't know if she'd ever see Ellie again.
"It is good to have you back here, Ellie. A lot of folks have missed you"
Looking up from her hands, Ellie saw the sincerity in Maria's eyes. She smiled softly and stood up "I appreciate that Maria. Thank you for everything"
"You can pay me back with breakfast tomorrow, that sound ok?"
"That sounds perfect" Ellie walked over to the other woman while she stepped outside, zipping up her jacket.
"Well alright then, you get a good night's sleep. You look like you need it"
"Gee, thanks" She feigned offence with a small laugh.
Maria said her final goodbyes and Ellie shut the door behind her. She pressed her back against it and stared at her now empty old room. All her posters had been taken off the wall, her pictures weren't on the shelves anymore. They were bare. There was no evidence that anyone had ever lived here before.
But she remembered. She knew the memories that these walls held. The nights she had spent with Joel as he taught her to play the guitar. Watching their stupid 80's movies together.
But there were also the fights. The arguments. Usually over petty shit but also the serious ones. When he had told her that she needed to keep her immunity a secret, even from her closest friends. How she couldn't go swimming with the other kids unless she was wearing a long sleeved top, how she had to always wear her gas mask even when she was on patrol alone.
"Just in case, Kiddo"
She regretted getting angry at him now, she knew he had every reason to be worried about her safety.
But dear God, that man could get under her skin.
Ellie laughed to herself as she reminisced on her memories in this room. So many memories.
Her first sleepover had been in this room. With Dina. They stayed up till the late hours of the morning, laughing and playing stupid board games together. Dina had thought it would be an excellent idea to see if they could stay awake all night without any sleep. She thought it was a less excellent idea when they got yelled at for being late for work the next morning.
She remembered the constant, aching panic attacks she'd get every winter and how Dina wouldn't hesitate to help her through it. Never pushing anything, simply helping to ground the other girl. Staying as long as she needed to, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she whispered in her ear.
"It's ok, Ell. I've got you, I'm right here"
What was she doing? Why was she still standing here doing nothing? Ellie quickly ripped the door open and walked down the street, down the familiar path to Dina's house.
She arrived far too soon when she realised she had absolutely no idea what she was meant to say. There was nothing she could say to make Dina hurt less, forgive her, trust her again.
But she would be damned if she wasn't going to try.
Ellie stepped up the few steps and on to the worn porch slowly, hearing the creak with each step. The curtains were open and Ellie almost didn't notice what was inside.
Dina was sitting on the floor with JJ crawling on his hands and knees, chasing a rattle of some sorts.
It was her smile, her dazzling smile, that had Ellie stumble back a step. She was right there. She was right fucking there.
And Ellie took another step back, fingers shaking at her sides.
Her head was swimming and it felt like she had been kicked in the gut, the air knocked out of her lungs. Her lips parted as she watched Dina pick JJ up and blow raspberries against his cheeks. The little guy grabbed at her hair playfully and Ellie could hear his high pitched laughter from where she was standing.
She wasn't sure what her intentions were as she was walking to Dina's house. Maybe she just wanted to make sure that she was really there? That Maria wasn't playing a sick joke on her?
But Dina was right there, and that was enough for now. A warmth spread across her chest, flowing through her veins, warming her cheeks. She took a final step back and headed down the street.
Never noticing that the other girl had caught sight of someone through the window.
=================
She woke the next morning with a start, a harsh banging coming from her door. It was still dark outside and the clock next to her bed told her it was 5:11am
What the fuck?
Standing on shaky legs, she wiped the sleep from her groggy eyes. The knocking was still persistent when she swung the door open.
The man before her was not one she expected to see so soon.
"Tommy"
If she thought Maria had aged, then Tommy had one foot in the grave. His hair had turned silver at the roots and deep wrinkles were prominent on his skin. His eyes seemed to of sunken into his skull as his face sagged. He held a cane in his hand that was supporting most of his weight.
"I heard you were back"
He stumbled inside the house, the sound of his cane filled the silent room. It was only when he walked past Ellie did she get the scent of whiskey. She recoiled slightly, shutting the door behind him.
"So" he smiled from where he was practically sprawled out on her couch "tell me everything, how did you do it?"
"How did I do what?" She poured a glass of water and set it down on the coffee table for him.
"How did you kill that son of a bitch?"
Her stomach dropped at the direct question, the stumps on her left hand ached "... I didn't" choosing to stand instead of sitting, she leaned against her bed frame.
"You didn't what?" Tommy reached for the water and brought it to his lips, trickles of water dribbled into his unkept beard. His mouth was barely visible.
"I didn't kill her"
It took about ten seconds for Tommy to register what she had said, he lowered the glass from his lips and narrowed his eyes "the fuck do you mean?"
Her legs began to shake where she stood, the bed frame was holding most of her body weight "I couldn't do it"
Tommy stood up on unsteady legs and threw his arms in the air, his eyes narrowed menacingly "You better have a goddamn explanation"
"I do, but I think it would be better if we had this discussion when you sobered up"
"She do that to you?"
She knew he was looking at her hand, she could see the disgust on his face "she did"
"You mean to tell me" She watched as Tommy moved closer, one hand on the wall for stability "that bitch killed Joel in front of you, shot Jesse, fucking crippled me and chopped off two of your fingers, and you let her walk?!"
Ellie sucked in a shallow breath and raised her hands, she had to de-escalate this "Tommy, please just let me explain--"
"Goddamnit!"
In the blink of an eye Tommy had hurled the glass at the wall closest to her head. Shards of glass flew everywhere and she had just enough time to turn her face away and protect her eyes.
Turning her head, she was knocked off balance when forceful hands gripped her shoulders and slammed her against the wall. Tommy's body held hers tightly, his stale warm breath washed over her face.
"What are you doing?" She whispered, sadness evident in her voice. She knew this wasn't the man that she had grown up with four years ago.
"Why did you let her go?! Huh?!" Tommy brought his arm up and pushed his forearm against her throat.
Ellie stared into his eyes and saw the genuine hate burning in his iris's, there was nothing left of the man she once knew.
And her heart broke all over again.
"I'm not going to fight you, Tommy"
"I know that" he spat, pushing away from the girl. Ellie nearly fell to the floor at the loss of contact "it's because you're weak"
Ellie kept her mouth shut, nothing but sorrow leaked from her eyes. Her last, real connection to Joel had been severed. She couldn't help but blame herself, she was the one who let Abby live.
"You couldn't kill Abby" he mumbled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand "and you can't fight a cripple"
She reached out and tried to help keep the man upright "Tommy--"
"No!" He yelled, fumbling with the doorknob "just fucking save it, Ellie"
The door slammed against the hinges and once again, everything returned to silence. Her breathing was laboured, weak.
Am I only capable of hurting everyone around me? She thought. Maybe Dina and JJ are better off here, without me.
A slow, wet sensation pulled her from her thoughts. She brought her hand up to her forehead and her fingers came back sticky. Walking to the mirror in her bathroom, she saw a shallow cut above her eyebrow. It didn't look too deep, she didn't even remember getting it.
She searched her cupboards for any medical kits but came up empty handed. They must of been thrown out months ago. The clock on her nightstand told her it was 5:36am, the clinic would be open in less than a half hour.
It didn't take her long to sweep up the glass, mindful of the jagged egdes. She threw on an old pair of jeans and a folded flannel from her bag. Her converse slipped on easily and she was out the door as the sun began to rise.
She contemplated going after Tommy, scared for his well-being in his drunken and emotional state, but she figured she was the last person he'd want to see right now. She'd have to remember to ask Maria about checking in on him later.
The clinic was fairly empty when Ellie pushed through the double doors, holding a rag to her cut. This was just the morning skeletal crew. It would be more busy later when all the patrols returned.
The harsh smell of disinfectant and cleaning products nearly knocked her sideways, she never did like hospitals. For obvious reasons.
"Ellie?"
Looking over her shoulder, she saw the smiling face of her ex girlfriend "Cat?"
"Oh my God!" Then there were arms wrapped right around her waist and a chin on her shoulder "when the fuck did you get back?"
"Yesterday" she wrapped her unoccupied arm around the shorter girl and patted her back awkwardly. It's not that she was on bad terms with her ex, she just didn't expect so much attention this early in the morning.
"Holy shit, what happened?"
Her arm was pulled back from her face as the smaller girl peered at her cut "Nothing really, I just fell"
"You fell?" Cat took her by the arm and lead her to an available chair "on what?"
"Glass" Ellie saw the look of uncertainty in Cat's eyes but thankfully she didn't push it.
"Ok, just wait here. I'll be back"
Ellie noticed that Cat's short cropped hair had grown out enough that she had it tied back in a half ponytail. Her tattoos seemed to have more detail but overall, she looked and was acting the exact same.
Ellie was so fucking grateful for that.
Cat returned shortly with a few pieces of medical equipment. She set them down on a small stool and dragged a chair over so she was face to face with Ellie.
"Here, tilt your head back"
She cleaned out the wound with disinfectant and a small cotton ball "so, you here to get your girl back?"
Ellie smiled sadly, her thoughts drifting to the feeling of Dina in her arms "I don't think she's my girl anymore, Cat"
"Are you shitting me?"
The other girl threw the bloody cotton balls away and grabbed a needle and thread, laughing at Ellie's bewildered face "Ellie, that girl used to look at you like you hung the stars in the sky"
"Yeah she used to" Ellie sighed before Cat forced her to keep her head still so she could add some stitches to her cut "and then I left her, and JJ"
"I heard about that" Cat's voice was softer now, realising the severity of the situation "but I know you Ellie, you wouldn't of done that unless you thought it was absolutely necessary. Did you have your reasons?"
"I did"
"Then explain them to her, I'm sure she'll be pissed off and upset. Hell, I would be. But Dina's a good person, she'll listen"
She grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped the last bit of thread, sitting back to examine her handiwork "I am just too good"
"Shut the fuck up" Ellie laughed, shoving the other girl before standing up "but thank you for this and the advice"
"Yeah yeah Romeo" Cat gathered up the supplies and looked back at the other girl "just buy me a drink some time and we'll call it even, deal?"
"Deal"
They talked for a small while longer but when more people started trickling into the clinic, Ellie thought it best not to keep Cat from working.
She had delayed the inevitable long enough anyway.
She took the same route to Dina's house, giving a polite good morning to the people she passed.
Her stomach was riddled with knots, her palms began to sweat. She stood outside Dina's door for at least five minutes, willing her hand to knock but her body just wouldn't comply.
She was terrified. Terrified of what could come out of this conversation. If she lost Dina and JJ, what else did she gave?
Her fist knocked on the door before she could stop herself, a small gasp left her lips at the movement. Her hand shot out and grabbed the wall for support, her head was swimming with mixed emotions and feelings.
She could hear gentle steps come closer to the door, louder with each passing moment.
Then the door opened and Ellie didn't get a chance to catch her breath.
Because there she was.
Dressed in an oversized band tee that Ellie had lost years ago, she assumed it had just fallen victim to the bottomless pit of her bedroom floor. She wore black leggings and her feet were bare. Her curly hair was tied back in her usual bun.
Ellie had never seen a more beautiful sight.
Dina's eyes had doubled in size, her mouth agape. Ellie watched her take a step back, banging into the wall behind her.
"Ellie..." She shook her head from side to side, holding a hand to her chest "You're... why are..."
Ellie's heart shattered as she watched tears spill over Dina's beautiful eyes, her breathing erratic. The taller girl took a step inside the house before the door could be shut in her face.
"Hey" she smiled weakly, watching helplessly. Dina moved then, along the wall until there was some distance between the two.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
Ellie couldn't decipher the emotion in Dina's eyes, the anger was quite obvious. But there was more than that.
"I came for you" she said truthfully, taking a hesitant step forward
"You came for me?" The laugh that escaped her lips was hollow, bitter "what? Now you care about me?"
"I never stopped caring Di, I just--"
"You left us" Dina quickly closed the space between them, her face inches from Ellie's "you fucking left us"
Ellie nodded her head, the lump in her throat was almost painful. Her chest tightened at the broken look in Dina's eyes. She was lost.
"I know I did" She resisted the urge to wipe the tears from her own cheeks, she let them fall freely "and you have no idea how sorry I am for that"
"Yeah" Dina pushed her then, not hard but it was sudden enough that Ellie's back collided with the wall "I have absolutely no idea how sorry you are. Because I don't think you are at all"
"Dina--"
"Stop" Dina cut her off sharply, her eyes piercing daggers into Ellie's "I really don't want to hear it Ellie, I don't. I'm fucking tired. I'm so tired"
Ellie nodded her head, biting the inside of her lip "I know, I know" her hand moved slowly and grazed Dina's forearm. It was a fleeting touch because it had disappeared as quickly as it had came to be. Dina stepped back and ran a hand over her face, rubbing her eyes.
"Get out"
The words felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over Ellie's head, shocking her to her core "Dina please just listen to me for five minutes--"
"Do you remember" she coughed hoarsely, wiping her eyes before turning to face the other girl "do you remember what I said to you before you left?"
Ellie's hands ran threw her short hair, fighting the urge to breakdown on the floor.
"I'm not gonna do this again"
"Yes" her voice was barely a whisper, her vision was so clouded with tears that she couldn't make out the shape of anything in the room.
"So do I" Dina sniffed before speaking "I think about that everyday. Every single day. How you chose that woman over us. Over your own family. Your family, Ellie. That we built together. Me you and JJ. Did that mean nothing--"
"I don't regret it" Ellie's voice trembled but she wiped her eyes in time to see the look on Dina's face "I do not regret going after Abby"
The ticking of the clock could be heard from the kitchen, Dina stood there stunned. She brought a hand to her mouth and shook her head "how can you say that?"
Ellie crossed the room in quick strides, finally taking the other girl in her arms. Dina immediately wrapped her arms her waist and buried her head in her chest, soaking Ellie's shirt with her tears "I don't regret it because if I had stayed, I would of either ended up hurting myself or worse you can JJ. I needed to find myself Di, I was so fucking lost"
Dina's legs gave out from under her but Ellie was right there to catch her, lowering her gently to the couch "I can not apologise enough for what I have put you through and I will try everyday for the rest of my life to earn your forgiveness if I have to. But that girl at the farm was only a shell of what I used to be. She was empty. I think you knew that, you could see it too"
Dina's crying gradually subsided to quiet sniffing and hiccups. She sat up then and looked at Ellie.
"You hurt me. More than anyone else ever has"
Ellie tried to blink away the tears from her eyes again "I know, I know Di"
"So please, leave"
Ellie's head snapped up to look at Dina, she was already standing and putting more distance between them "Dina, please don't do this"
"You did this, Ellie. This wasn't me"
She knew she was right. Ellie had caused all this. She thought she was prepared for every outcome of this situation, but apparently she was wrong.
She stood slowly from the couch, taking one last look at the girl she loved but she was already walking up the stairs, away from Ellie.
Her watered eyes landed on a small blue elephant on the floor, and she fell with her tears.
=================
That night, when everything in Jackson was still and quiet, Ellie's feet took her on a path that she hadn't visited in a long time.
But she knew the one person that could help her right now. She sat down on the cold floor and placed her hand on the damp soil.
"Hey old man"
Joel's grave had a two vases filled with dead flowers that she had discarded and replaced with fresh bright tulips
"Sorry I haven't visited you in a while but uh... I fucked up" Her fingers traced the familiar bracelet on her wrist, tracing the worn material "I didn't expect her to forgive me right away but I thought that with time we could of made things right, you know?"
She picked up a handful of soil and let it fall slowly through her fingers "I didn't think it could hurt anymore after what I've been through. But this does. This fucking hurts" a sob broke out through her lips, startling her slightly "I miss you old man, I miss you so fucking much. Everyday"
She buried both hands in the soil now, and she wept. For everything and everyone she had lost.
A hand on her back startled her out of her fit of hysterics. She wiped her eyes and made to apologise for the noise when she realised who it was.
"Come here"
Dina all but grabbed the taller girl and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Ellie moved quicker than she thought possible and buried her face in the other girls familiar neck, her scent easing the ache in her chest.
"I'm so sorry" Ellie couldn't recognise her voice as it drifted to her ears "I am so so sorry Dina--"
"Shhh, stop. I've got you"
Her hand moved in small circles at Ellie's lower back and that made her cry harder, cling to Dina's shirt tighter.
"I thought I'd find you here" Dina's voice was a warm whisper against her ear as she spoke, swaying them back and forth gently "I stopped by your place and you weren't there. Figured this is the only other place you'd be"
"Fuck" Ellie sat up and wiped her eyes, not daring to meet Dina's gaze "I'm sorry, I'm a mess--"
"Yeah, you are" Dina reached out and grabbed Ellie's hand in her own "but so am I, I think that's why we work so well together" A teasing smile danced on her lips and Ellie couldn't help but give a watery smile in return.
"Look" Dina licked her lips and stared down at their joined hands "I'm not sure how we can fix this"
"I don't think I can ever forgive you for that"
"But I would love to give us another chance"
"But I would like to try"
Dina leaned forward and rested her forehead against Ellie's, staring peacefully at one another.
Ellie nodded her head, a smile on her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek. Dina moved her hand and wiped it away with a featherlight touch. She breathed in deeply and steadied her voice, eyes focused on the genuine smile on Dina's lips.
This was all she ever wanted, a second chance. She wasn't about to fuck this up a second time.
"Okay"