Chapter 8
Katara straightened her legs before dangling over the edge of the bed. Only the tips of her feet reached the ground. A blanket served as a barrier between her back and the cold surface of the cave wall. But it wasn’t doing much to keep the cold out. Zuko sat next to her, their shoulders not quite touching. He had her bag behind his back for the same reason.
Now that she had a moment to observe him she didn’t fail to notice how much weight he lost in the few weeks. The sharp angles of his jaw were hidden in the growing stable, if she could call it a beard since it looked too thin and wiry--missing patches of hair, still easy to tell his features were more pronounced. Surprisingly, the scar didn’t stand out against the pale skin, rather it looked faded.
He was unable to decide what to do with his hands as he crossed his arms, then dropped, resting his hands on his legs for a moment before shifting again. Katara never thought she would be here, sitting next to him. In the last few minutes that became more believable than the idea that Zuko was nervous.
Was she mistaken when she thought nothing could change him? Was she wrong to think it was her wistful thinking the Spirit World could change him? Did it? He had so eagerly agreed, she was half unsure it actually happened. She should have gotten his agreement written on a paper. Why did it make her feel terrible when she thought of asking him if he really meant it?
She so often tried to avoid things that made her feel rotten. Like now, she avoided thinking about the chaos in the tower. Aang was probably out of his mind with worry. She’d told him it was poison. She squeezed her eyes shut. What possessed her to say that? The longer she stayed down here the harder it became to face the can of worms up there.
“Katara?”
She sighed, her eyes moving back to the black splotch in front of the door. Why did she agree she would tell him? Why did he need to know? Why did he want to? She thought if tables were turned she would definitely ask the same questions. Not knowing probably would drive her insane. Especially in a place like this.
In the end, she told him what happened. He listened without interrupting her or asking her any questions. The only indication he paid attention to what she said was flexing his hand as if preparing to punch someone.
“I think tonight he was trying to trigger the avatar state by using me. I got the food earlier than when I finally convinced Aang to leave. The general had planned it regardless of our actions.”
Katara worried her hands in her lap after she was done talking. Having pep-talks with herself about leaving didn’t help. So far not a mascle obeyed her silent command. She was waiting for something. She was sure he had to say something. When he broke the silence, it wasn’t what she was expecting. Or waiting for.
“Why has no one checked if you are okay?” he asked.
She couldn’t help but look at him. He was staring straight ahead. He didn’t turn. She examined his profile. His jaw was hard-set but the rest of his face blank.
“By now they should be more afraid of me than to come down here when I am.”
That got his attention. He regarded her with a raised brow.
She smiled. “We had a disagreement about their protocol and how it affected my prisoner. I came very close to freezing them a few times. I don’t know why but people are really afraid of getting iced. It’s quite pleasant actually. Oh, and also they refer to me as Mighty Katara. And I’m best friends with the avatar. I’ve lots of power to abuse.”
“Your prisoner?” he murmured.
She suppressed a shiver at the sound, afraid it would reveal everything she was hiding from. Squaring her shoulders, she forced herself to maintain eye contact. Maybe in a different world, different Katara and Zuko could have a different conversation. This Katara already did too many things she shouldn’t. She vowed she would maintain as many lines uncrossed as she could, this was one of them. “Any doubts?”
“None. You saved my life too many times. You were too kind too many times. By this point I doubt there is anything I can do to repay.”
She sucked in a breath then whizzed as it went in the wrong direction. She coughed uncontrollable, glaring at him when he put his hand on her back. He snatched his hand away.
“Katara?”
She waved her hand to indicate she was fine.
He rubbed his chest before saying, “Will you quit giving me heart attacks?”
He thought she gave him heart attacks? Was he insane? What was with that speech? She had said that because he was her prisoner. Literally! Without her he wouldn’t make it out or solve the dead end problem. Well, maybe at some point he could solve it. Too bad, he would be dead by then! She didn’t want to hear about his undying servitude. She had just, a second ago, vowed she wouldn’t cross some lines. How did he obliterate that vow without resistance? How was she allowing any of this?
She looked at him, anger and annoyance blending into one. With no better ideas to release her feelings she reached for his face and squashed it with her fingers. Satisfied with her work, she let go. He was stunned for a few minutes before he touched his face like he was rearranging it in its original position. Katara huffed. It was in its original position. She hadn’t used that much force to permanently reshape his face.
When his eyes found hers, he looked at her with a myriad of expressions. His lips were still slightly parted as if he couldn’t recover from the shock entirely. She shrugged. “It had to come out some way. That was the safest option. And I meant you literally can’t get out of here without me.”
“That’s why I said ‘none’.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Just stop it. You are supposed to be mean and to tell me no matter what you won’t stop hunting Aang. Why are you being all nice?”
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Katara. It’s not something I can take back. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing for the right reasons.”
She didn’t miss what he said but she was on a roll. “There you go again. Stop being nice and apological! Be mean. Do something unspeakable! Make it easier to…easier to...”
“Easier to?”
“To..to hate you. To leave. Gah! Spirits!” The fight drained out of her and she sagged back. Knowing she couldn’t take the words back no matter how much she wanted it to. “Why, Zuko? Why are you acting like my actions have changed you?”
“Why did you save my life after all I’ve done to you? Why did you read me the Fire Nation newspaper? If you want to leave, why are you here, Katara? Why?”
Ironically, it was the Fire Nation newspaper that convinced her to come down here that first night. She’d seen it in the general’s war room among the newspapers from all corners of the land. She’d been debating with herself how she would spend her evening. Mostly arguing against visiting a certain prince. She couldn’t even remember thinking about stealing it when she was briskly walking away with it. She realized where she was going and why halfway down to his cooler.
She didn’t plan on sharing anything. She didn’t owe him explanations.
She got up, “I have to go.”
He didn’t protest. Zuko handed her the bag. She marched to the door but her feet didn’t move beyond it. There were things she came to say, their conversation didn’t change that. She took a deep breath and turned around. He was staring up at the ceiling.
“We are leaving tomorrow,” she told him. He didn’t look at her or made a sound. “I’m not sure what will happen to you. Nothing has gone according to my plans. I hope you’ll be able to leave with us but I’m not being too optimistic about it. If I’m not back in a few hours you need to get out. The general seems to be capable of anything and with the avatar gone you’ll become his next best weapon.”
Zuko huffed. “We’ll see how that will end for him.”
“You won’t be seeing anything if you don’t follow me,” Katara retorted and walked towards the stairs. He followed her in a few seconds. Once, his movements had been agile, now he all but trudged along. “Where the elevator stops there is a guard station. I’ll send the elevator down so when you need it you won’t alert them. They won’t expect it but they’ll hear and feel the vibrations, so you need to be prepared.”
“Do you know how many guards?”
She shook her head. “No, not sure. I’ve seen two at a time but the first time I came here, they were five then. And most of them don’t like you.”
“Shocker,” he muttered.
Laughter burst out of her. She smacked a hand over her lips but couldn’t stop her stomach quivering with silent laughter. Half the reason for her laughter was the nerves. Somehow it felt like a goodbye. Like this was it. Now even her feet dragged behind her. She got the control of her laughter but everything that came to her mind to say never left her lips. They walked the stairs with neither of them speaking.
When they reached the landing, Katara focused on the actions to avoid awkwardness. She took his hand and pulled him closer to the opposite wall. Placing this hand on the left corner of the wall, she swiped their conjoined hands to the right. You couldn’t see the opening in the wall but it was easy to feel the bump with a finger. After she explained what to look for, his fingers paused at the crack on their own accord. She took his hand again and pressed next to the crack. The smooth hard surface of the wall gave in, like pressing a button. It didn’t spring back out. She found all the movable pieces with their hands and pressed each in the pattern that would open the wall if the elevator was already down or call if it wasn’t.
She let his hand go and stared at the wall, not even looking in his general direction. The elevator approached with a soft whir before halting to a stop. The door swooshed open and lit the entire landing with artificial light.
“Got it?”
“Yes, thank you.”
She nodded. “Get out of here if I don’t come back.”
He didn’t say anything. Going without looking at him wasn’t an option. Sighing, she turned to him. Exhaustion was etched on every part of his face. She was tired too. Probably, the entire night had passed by now. Thanks to whatever was in her food her brain was still slightly off kilter. Being past the point of sleep, she was in that weird state of lucidity when life and dream was synonymous.
She had an unshakable desire to reach out and touch his wound. She didn’t let herself overthink it before she placed her hand on his chest. Water snaked down her arm and spread around her hand. There was a difference between waterbending and whatever this was. The water itself felt different. Alive. Conscious. It wasn’t hers either, she still felt the weight of the water skin the same as before. The flow of water didn’t stop. It tickled down the walls, and sprung from the ground. She could feel all the ice in the cooler melting. It rushed to her even though she didn’t call it.
They stood under a water dome. The water swayed and rippled around them like it had done the time she saved his life. Her hand glowed for a moment before she felt a spark where they touched. It traveled between their bodies, pouring energy in every cell. Katara watched the purplish bruise on her hand shrink slowly, vanishing. She knew all her injuries both internal and external were healed. Zuko’s as well. She waited for the scar to fade as well but the water dropped on the ground and retreated before anything happened. They both staggered as the power of whatever that was evaporated from their bodies. Her back rested against the wall, while he was leaning into it with his shoulder.
“I thought you couldn’t heal.”
“That was something different than what I call healing.”
“Are you alright?”
She nodded. “You?”
“Would it be a madness to say never better?” One corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “I guess…thank you, Katara.”
She moved towards the elevator. “I need to go. Please, wait just a few hours.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
Katara glared at him. He looked like someone who drank a few cups of the strongest coffee at one go. She wasn’t sure which part worried her more.
“Stop telling me what to do and do as I say.” She pointed a finger at him. “Wait here for a few hours.”
She wasn’t ready to face anything that awaited her up there. She expected a wall of guards to be standing on the other side, probably led by Sokka. A tiny part of her was prepared to expect the entire outpost leveled and Aang in the avatar state looking for her. She knew that couldn’t be the case. Someone would have gotten her, right? She was sure it couldn’t be that. A wall of guards, yes, that’s what would be waiting for her.
Her insides twisted as the elevator shot upwards.
She took a deep breath and held as the wall slid open. Nothing but silence met her. She stuck her head out, looking around. The guard on duty was asleep. Huh? Was that a good sign? She sent the elevator down before anyone could ask what she was doing and sprinted across the room to the stairwell. She ran up the steps without making a sound. The guard’s snoring accompanying her almost to the top. The silence of the tower was one thing she didn’t expect. The entire building seemed deserted as she made her way to her room. Her movements lost their stealth the longer no one crossed her path.
Why was no one searching for her?
She was walking towards their floor when she got her answer. Momo jumped in front of her out of nowhere and shoved her into the first room next to her. She was too stunned to react, willingly letting Momo drag her deeper into the dark room. Then she heard footsteps. At least two pairs of heavy footsteps.
“Where could she be?” a male voice asked.
“Maybe they had a fight and she left?” Another male answered. “Otherwise she’ll have to return to her room at some point.”
“Didn’t you see, the food was eaten? Maybe she is sleeping outside somewhere? That wouldn’t be good.”
“Well, I wasn’t behind this genius plan.”
“I’m sure someone will bother with the details after our heads are served.”
They were going to her room? They had been to her room? She started towards the door but Momo grabbed her. She didn’t understand a word he said but he sounded very urgent. Katara followed Momo to the balcony and after glowering for a sufficient time she covered the space between the balconies with water and froze it like a bridge. She didn’t have enough water to reach all the way to the boys’ room so her progress was slower than Momo’s. Which only made the monkey more agitated and anxious. For the millionth time she wished she could communicate with Momo like Aang did. At times it seemed she did, only to be harshly reminded that wasn’t at all the case.
She tapped at the glass door to the boys’ room but the answer didn’t come. She tried the handle, the door was unlocked. She stuck her head into the room. It was dimly lit but enough to see everything clearly. Sokka lay in his bed, snoring loudly. Aang sat in front of his bed in a lotus position, eyes closed. He appeared as asleep as Sokka. Katara’s eyes fell on the ground and the guilt didn’t let her lift her head any higher.
“Aang…”
“Why have you been going to the cooler, Katara?”
She blinked. “What?”
“Why?”
Could someone maybe remove that word from usage?
She wanted to ask how he knew, yell and be mad because it was easier than admitting her faults. This time she had really outdone herself. She’d no rights to questions of anger. Aang, on the other hand, had the right to be so angry he couldn’t stand the sight of her. She’d left without a word and now Aang knew she’d done it for Zuko. She bit into her lip and kept her emotions bottled. It wasn’t important how he knew. She needed to answer him.
“I lost my healing ability a few days ago,” she said the first thing that came to her mind. Was this self-preservation? “It only works when I’m near him.”
“What?” Aang was on his feet, the anger abandoned in favor of worry over her. She bit her lip harder. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“And?”
She sighed, finally looking up. His big eyes were soft as they always were. She sighed again. “And I shouldn’t have done it. How is Sokka?”
“I have never seen him sleep so deep before. Is this what was wrong with the food?”
She nodded.
“Is that why the guards were surprised you weren't in your room?”
She nodded again as she walked towards Sokka. He never believed her when she told him he snored and drooled in his sleep. Sokka believed he was too cool to do such things. She smiled at her brother. She brushed his hair from his eyes, before wiping the drool.
“How did you know where I was?” she asked in a small voice.
“I’m asking questions first. What does the general want from you?”
Katara opened her mouth to tell him when a commotion broke in her room. They crept to the door and opened it slightly as the general’s guards ran down the corridor.
“The general is under attack!” someone yelled.