Chapter 3
Katara felt a foot jam in her calf. She was so tired from the sleepless night she didn’t think the pain was worth opening her eyes. Then the second jam came and she still ignored it. The next two were even more powerful. Spirits! All she wanted was a few hours sleep before they reached the outpost. How hard was it to survive without her in that time?
“Look, look.” Sokka gave up on bruising her calf. His hands gripped Katara’s shoulders and shook her.
“Sokka!” She was going to puke everything she had eaten. Again, why was this happening to her?
“Sorry.” He let her go. “Look, we are here.”
She opened one eye to glare at him. The sunlight was sharp making her close it just as fast. Once she had opened her eyes enough times and shed enough tears to get used to the sunlight, she squinted in his general direction. Sokka hung from the edge of the saddle, feet almost in the air.
“And you couldn’t just tell me that?” One more word and steam would come out of Katara’s ear.
Sokka’s eyes widened as if he realized she was that angry. His arms went up. “Sorry. Shower and toilet and stuff are really exciting.”
At the thought of a proper shower she almost melted. While she didn’t mind showering at the riverbanks and lakes, it was nothing compared to a steamy shower. She never thought she’d miss the little privacy she had back home as well. Not to say, she underestimated the effort it took to shower partially dressed. She thought it was more like a workout than a shower. If she started thinking about baths, she might really faint.
She nodded with a small smile. “I know we’ve gone longer than five days without a real shower but this time it feels like forever.”
Sokka was almost standing on Appa’s stomach, he hung so far over the edge to get a look at the outpost. Weren’t they going there? Aang sat on Appa’s neck, leaning to see it as well. While they were occupied Katara glanced at the prince. His position was unchanged but he had color in his cheek. Either he was healing faster, or they might have exposed him to sunlight a little too long. She turned back around before they noticed her distraction. She finally felt like she could make things normal between them. She wasn’t going to screw that up.
The outpost wasn’t as small as the others she had seen. She wouldn’t even call it an outpost. It looked like a fortress. It was located high up on a mountain and fortified with walls as accustomed to Earth Kingdom. She could make out a tall building in the center and people gathered around it.
“They are waving at us.” Feeling wary she leaned closer to get a better look at the people. “Why are they waving at us?”
“I think somebody is holding my face,” Sokka whispered in awe.
Katara followed his pointed finger and almost killed over. Next to her, Sokka’s chest puffed. When they neared the group of girls, who held posters with Sokka’s face on it, started shrieking. She wasn’t sure she wanted to get any closer. Momo jumped on her shoulder covering his ears. “Could you cover mine too, Momo?”
“Don’t be jealous.” He petted her shoulder. “I’m sure someone will like you one day.”
Katara’s face turned towards him, employing her you-don’t-want-me-to-get-mad look.
He was too distracted with his hair to notice it. “And I don’t mean Jet.”
She growled until his hands went up in the air, again. He opened his mouth and whatever he was about to say would bring him one step closer to getting punched, Katara was sure of it. Aang interrupted them. “Stop it. I think they like all of us.” He frowned, his big eyes worried. “Uh, guys? I’m not sure about this.”
Katara giggled when she saw a young soldier holding an ‘I love Katara’ sign. She didn’t care about Sokka’s comments, she just wanted to know why these people were excited to meet them. Was it because of the avatar? It usually was. What else?
“What is there to be sure about?” asked Sokka. Appa’s paws hadn’t touched the ground he was already sliding over his stomach. “They love us. This might be the best day of my life!”
“I thought meeting Princess Yue was the best day of your life,” muttered Katara. She didn’t think he heard her. Sokka was already lost to the pretty girls that swamped him. She stepped over the edge about to disembark when Aang landed in front of her.
“Uh, Katara? Seeing as how they like us, they may have mixed feelings about him.” He pointed a finger to her left. Spirits, she couldn’t forget him for like five seconds. Wait, whose fault was that? And to say she had actually wished she could forget him for five seconds.
Aang was right. These were soldiers, doctors, nurses, and the visitors. Their hate and mistrust was deep rooted, which was completely justifiable. They had seen the worst side of this war. She bit into her lip, she couldn’t believe she had promised to leave Prince Zuko here. The people around them already hated him simply because he was from the Fire Nation. He hadn’t or would ever do anything to earn their trust--even if that was possible. What would people of this place do if they knew they had the only son of their enemy? Exiled or not, Prince Zuko was valuable.
“They can’t know he is the crown prince,” she whispered, and was relieved when Aang nodded.
“We'll tell the general in private that we have a firebender prisoner. We can decide before leaving if we tell him the truth or not.”
Katara wanted to hug him for being so understanding, but she refrained. The crowd had shifted closer to them, she could see young girls waiting for Aang. She smiled at them before her eyes moved to him. “Go, don’t let Sokka soak up all the attention. I will hide the prince and be right down.”
“Are you sure you don’t need help?”
She nodded. “I think there are some people who would like to meet you.”
Katara turned around as Aang too was engulfed by the crowd. She looked around wondering how she was going to hide the prince in the small and open space. Once again she was reminded it would be really good if he remained in this state for the rest of his life. She was sure her worries would double the moment he woke. It was already strange enough to worry about her enemy’s well-being.
Did someone just call her mighty Katara? She was so distracted she almost left the prince to join the boys. And if she didn’t the crowd might climb Appa to get her. Mighty Katara? Her cheeks reddened. Was this how people saw her? She felt a lump in her throat. Most days she couldn’t believe she had mastered so many waterbending techniques so fast. She couldn’t believe she was capable of so much. Katara wasn’t even sure why she beat herself up for not being better. She wanted to be proud of herself. Why couldn’t a part of her allow it?
She cast a glance on his face. Of course, everything had to do with the prince she now desperately tried to get him out of her mind. Zuko had made her doubt herself when he had won their fight. She had been fighting for Aang’s life and she had lost. That battle had brought out all of her capabilities and strength. It hadn’t been enough. Did she even deserve to be called master? She wasn’t sure. She wanted to believe Master Pakku. She wanted to believe him for the sake of Aang. Why did she remain unsure? One thing she knew about herself, Katara was stubborn and headstrong. She’d be deserving of it. Maybe not today or tomorrow. All that mattered was that she would work towards that day.
He was a reminder of what she had done. Wasn’t that a perfect reason, among many others, to let him go? She couldn’t be worried about his survival. He had survived worse than being imprisoned between these walls for the rest of his life. They would continue their trip to Omashu. She wasn’t going to ever see him again. Now was a good time to stop thinking and worrying about him. Not that she should be thinking about him in the first place. Maybe only to plan kicking his ass.
She dropped on her knees and shoved the prince with more force than she meant to use. His body tilted. She swore under her breath and clutched Zuko’s arms, keeping him from face planting on the wooden floor. She had pushed him to the edge, which wasn’t as high as she hoped. Katara put their sleeping bags around him, and any other piece of luggage that was soft and wouldn’t do any damage just in case something happened. She was putting a blanket over him, when Appa moved. More like fell on his side. She could hear his low purring. He did that when she scratched his chin. The happy giant shifted on his side. Katara lost her balance and fell on top of Prince Zuko. Her forehead in his throat.
Spirits...
“Ouch,” she whispered between clenched teeth. She had landed on the mittens and the hard service dug into her stomach. She peeled herself back from his body. Katara’s mouth pressed to a thin line, holding a scream inside. Breathing slow and deep she got through the pain. Why did it feel like a punishment for leaving him behind?
When Katara looked up, a pair of golden eyes stared back. She blinked. His eyes were closed when hers refocused on him. He was as he had been for the length of their journey. Had she imagined? She leaned closer, still partially sprawled on top of him. Without thinking she touched his face.
“Prince Zuko?” she swiped her thumb over the scar.
The first night he spent with them, Katara had waited for everyone to fall asleep to touch his scar. Ever since she had met him, she had wondered what it would feel like under her finger tips. Would it be as smooth as it looked? Yes, smooth as silk. Like the rest of his face. In the last five days a light stubble had taken over the smoothness. As if he needed to get any more handsome. She never wanted to dwell on the fact how often she thought about Zuko. To make everything worse, often it was to wonder over his life and other things she wouldn’t even admit to herself in the daylight.
She shook him. Nothing. Katara slapped him slightly. When she got no reaction, she pinched him hard enough to wake the dead. She might as well have petted his arm. Katara considered plucking his hair for good measure but it felt inhumane to subject him to pain because of her imagination.
She really needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn’t her brother or Aang. She needed a different sort of friend. Maybe a female friend. Or a male friend. It didn’t matter, she just wanted someone to listen to her. Not to judge her. And maybe to tell her it would all be okay. It wasn’t easy for Katara to make friends, to trust people. This time she understood the need for it. She might have been forced to grow up too early, it just not always translated into her actions. She wanted to be allowed to make stupid choices and decisions. She needed a person she didn’t have to set an example for. At least that’s what she thought might help with the internal turmoil.
She loved Sokka with all her heart but brothers couldn’t always be the sort of friend she needed. Aang was another story. Their friendship was a more tentative one. There were uncrossed bridges between them. She hoped never to come even closer to having a need to cross one of them.
She knew they were just stopping by here for a day or two for a rest. That wasn’t enough for her to make a friend. But they would stay in Omashu as long as it took to teach Aang earth ending. Could she find someone in Omashu? Someone to go shopping with? Go to a spa? Gossip about boys? Katara sighed, probably not. Aang was a fast learner. They would be moving on before she knew.
She added a thin layer of ice on Zuko’s prison. Forced herself to stop fidgeting with his blanket and leave the saddle. It took lots of forcing and glancing back. Hadn’t she just decided not to worry about him? That she shouldn’t? When had she become so undecided? Or better even, when did he crawl under her skin?
Katara stood on the edge of the saddle, taking one last look to make sure he was well hidden and unmoving. As if her feet were shackled to him, she had trouble moving further and further away from him. Why did it feel like she’d need to build a physical and mental wall between them to stop thinking about him? To leave him? Was it because she had saved his life? She had joked to herself about her essence now being forever part of him. Was it even a joke?
Katara thought it was better to blame the spirits or the world or anyone really rather than face the truth. For that she’d need a support system that was neither Sokka or Aang. Momo jumped on her shoulder. As if he understood her needs and offered help. She smiled at him. His tail curled around her neck.
“Will you do me a favor? Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get into trouble?” She took out an apple from her bag and gave it to him. Momo happily chattered, rubbing his head on her hair. He took the fruit and bit into it as he jumped from her shoulder. He sauntered towards the prince. After she and Aang returned this morning, she had found Momo napping on his legs. She wasn’t sure how to take it. Was he doing it for her? Or for him? Or because he was a danger? She knew there was something ancient and powerful about the monkey. His behavior meant something. Katara just didn’t know what. There was no one she could ask who would keep a straight head about this.
She slid down Appa. She petted his stomach before facing the crowd. She didn’t need to worry about the crowd. Aang and Sokka had it covered. She shook her head. Katara knew her brother had an ego. It wasn’t something he could hide. She hadn’t thought Aang had an ego. His chest was so far out, she feared he may pass out from holding the position too long.
She thought no one would notice her sneaking closer. Everyone was occupied with Sokka’s grand account of the battle at the North Pole. she gasped as the ground shook under her feet. A podium rose in the middle of the crowd with a man standing on it. He was dressed in a green military uniform. He looked at her and smiled.
“Finally,” his voice boomed. “Mighty Katara!”
She wanted to dissolve back in the crowd. Would they still call her ‘mighty Katara’ if they knew what she had done? It’s not like she didn’t stand by her decision or she wouldn’t do it all over again if she had to. It just wasn’t something that made it easier to face the people who suffered daily because of the firebenders. They were the face of the enemy and she had given up something special for one of them. And because he was the direct descendant of the man responsible for all of it, it made everything that much worse.
She knew all firebenders couldn’t be bad, like all waterbenders weren’t good. Spirits, the number of people she could name who had never come close to good were more than fingers on her hands. It wasn't the firebenders fault their lord was a tyrant. It wasn’t their fault their element was wild and hungry. How had they once lived in peace? Could they ever go back? The scars ran so deep, was the avatar enough to mend the damage?
“I’m General Fong. Welcome!”
The crowd cheered. They pushed her out in the center. Her feet quivered. No, it was the ground under her feet. She spread her legs to keep balance as the ground detached and rose up just like the general’s. Although their round podiums remained lower than his. If something his rose slightly higher. General Fong’s gaze moved over her companions. He did a double take at Appa.
Katara bit into her lip. She didn’t think it was Appa that had the general speechless. She turned around. From her place she couldn’t see him. The general was a big man. Probably twice her size. He likely saw every nail of that saddle from his position. She should have covered his face too. Did he really need to breathe?
General Fong opened his mouth. He knew who Zuko was. The general was high enough in the rank to know everything about the Fire Nation. Perhaps all the details of the prince’s exile. Of course he would know. Katara’s eye darted towards Aang nervously. She hadn’t ordered her body to move, yet she had taken a fighting stance.
Aang lifted his hand, stopping her movement. His eyes were wide but sure. Airbending, her friend rose at the height of General Fong and whispered in his ear. The general’s gaze turned thoughtful. What did Aang tell him? What did he promise?
She was putting him in an impossible situation yet again. She bit into her lip. She couldn’t keep doing this. What was with the panic she felt? Could someone rid her of it? Worse than panic was the relief that followed the general’s complacent nod. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to talk to Aang.
He flew back to his place, without looking at her. The general clapped his hands, “The Avatar and his gaang--”
“Ah, excuse me,” Sokka interrupted the general’s chuckle. Fong had been very pleased with himself, which had turned into a glare quickly. “I don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful, General. But as the leader of this team I decide our name. For now please refer to us with our names. The team name is work in progress. Thank you for your understanding.”
“Of course, brave Sokka!” The general was going to pierce her eardrums if he kept this up.
Katara snorted. Brave Sokka? He might not be a coward, but brave was a step too far. She remembered numerous times he had used her body as a shield in the face of danger. It was ironic, she thought, he was more deserving of his title than she was of hers--he only dreamed about killing the disgraced prince.
General Fong spoke to his people about the avatar’s ‘cool powers’ and ‘awesome responsibilities’. Really? Awesome? That’s what he had to say? She was wary of warm welcomes out of experience. This guy spoke like Aang’s avatar state was a party trick. She shouldn’t have expected him to understand what kind of pain it took to wipe out an entire Fire Navy fleet. He was an adult. He had seen war. She expected more insight and compassion than ‘awesome’.
“Come, we have a lot to discuss,” the general said before their podiums returned to the original state. As if ordered the crowd turned and went about their business. A few of the posters with Sokka’s face trampled on the ground. General Fong marched towards the round tower in the center. “Your prisoner will be taken to the prison. Don’t worry about him escaping.”
He waved his hand. Two guards left their stations and marched towards Appa. Katara’s feet dragged behind her. She breathed through the panic, keeping her eyes on the general’s head. Sokka and Aang were in his toe. She heard Momo’s squeal. She turned around, hand on her water skin. Partially, she hoped Momo was in real danger so she could go back. He wasn’t. He sat on Appa’s head eating a banana. Where did he get a banana? They didn’t have a banana.
The guards lifted Zuko and the makeshift prison, carrying him to a slab that hovered in the air thanks to the third guard who had appeared out of nowhere. They were more gentle with him than she had expected. Could they not know? She felt bit relieved they wouldn’t torture him, taking their hate for all of the Fire Nation out on him. At least for now. If it happened, Katara hoped she would have long forgotten him and her worries over him.
She moved faster catching up with the rest of them. Inside of the entrance was a cool vast space. It was tall, green and held up by pillars. Honestly, she wasn’t a fan of Earth Kingdom’s royal style. Despite the warm green tones, those tall and wide spaces were cold and unwelcoming. The thick pillars and dark nooks made a great place to play hide and seek or any other game, though. She knew she should keep that thought to herself. When she looked over at the boys, she saw they had come to the same conclusion without her. Her lips curled into a grin.
They reached the double doors that were as grand and huge as the rest of the entrance. The general and the boys disappeared inside the room. Katara clutched the door. She wanted to be strong enough to just keep going, but the moment she had stopped she knew she would look back. She could clearly hear footsteps entering the tower.
She peeked over her shoulder. Her gaze collided with the eyes like liquid honey. She stumbled into the door. The door handle was the only thing that kept her upright. She wasn’t sure when she closed her eyes but when she opened them Prince Zuko’s were closed. The two guards pulled him by the arms, feet dragging on the ground. She took a step towards him when she heard Aang call her name.
Just for a second she thought to ignore him. She would have if she hadn’t seen Aang’s face. Katara couldn’t screw this up. Not for Prince Zuko. She had promised herself she wouldn’t be a disappointment. So far she was doing a terrible job.
If he was awake, she had no need to worry about him. Her job was done. She had saved him. He could take over from now on. She watched his feet disappear inside a room, without once opening his eyes. She knew she didn’t imagine twice. How long had he been awake? Why was he showing her this way? Was he trying to drive her insane? Was he just waking? How could she leave without answers?
“Katara?” Aang repeated, coming closer to her. She hated when he looked so thoughtful. He usually figured out things she didn’t want to figure out herself.
Katara plastered a smile on her face. She hid her trembling hands behind her back, and turned to her friend. “Let’s go talk to the general. Then I’ll find a soft bed and never leave. At least next twelve hours.”
Aang didn’t look too convinced with her smile. He chose to let it go to her relief. “Isn’t the general great? He said we could do anything we wanted here. Sokka and I have ideas.”
“As long as it doesn’t involve me,” Katara thought about it and added, “or you two getting hurt, you can go crazy.”
She couldn’t give him a normal childhood, but she could give him these childish obsessions with games. Luckily Sokka was the same age as Aang when it came to games and destruction. The one good thing about it was Sokka had a strong sense of self-preservation, which kept Aang safe as well. He jumped from idea to idea as he moved ahead, excitement bubbling inside him.
She tried to stay focused but Katara’s ears started ringing. The fortress faded. Her feet automatically followed the avatar. She closed her eyes and bit into her lip in the attempt to keep her emotions under control.
He is awake.