Cats And Dogs
“You dismantled the fucking templars?!”
It was clear that the Commander was less than impressed with her choice. Honestly it frustrated her he didn’t see the very need for such drastic action considering he’d left the order himself. Unlucky for him, she was fucking tired of people questioning her decision since she’d made it. At least the Commander had decided to start this argument alone, rather than having to deal with multiple condemning parties coming down on her head.
“Yes. I did. And I’m not changing my decision on the matter.”
Her own voice had a finality to it. Though perhaps it was too much to hope the commander would go back to quietly brooding and glaring in her direction. Alas. It wasn’t to be so.
“Is this some personal vendetta against me? Because getting the templars aid was my idea?! Hate me, I don’t care, but don’t punish the templars for our personal… Displeasure for each other.”
She gaped at him, in open disgust.
“You think I made this decision because - of you?” - laughing in disbelief - “You’re unbelievably vain! My choice had nothing to do with you! Contrary to your belief, it had not-a-fucking-thing to do with you. The very foundation of the order was corrupted. You - You don’t just remove the rubble of a collapsed building and rebuild on a blighted broken fucking foundation!”
It would seem neither was backing down. If anything they’d both managed to equally stoke the anger in the other. Not that such a thing was uncommon when it came to the former templar and the mage. Cullen stepped forward, as he snarled at her again.
“Fine! Then your - biased for mages-”
Oh he didn’t just go there! She didn't balk. Didn’t step back. She might not be more then five foot fucking nothing on a good shoe day. But this was not some meek child to be intimidated into submission. Her fists clenched at her side, her own voice was booming, strong and unwavering.
“What of your biased for the fucking templars?”
Cullen glared back, his jaw working.
“You’re alienating yourself - us all in hand - from potentially useful allies! There will be further unrest over what you’ve done - they might have left the Chantry but-”
As if he could try putting that weak ass argument and make her believe she’d been wrong? Fuck that!
“And that right fucking there is one of the corrupted cornerstones of the templars. Religion has a place for people - but it shouldn’t be in a place to force itself on people. It should have no place in the governing of people, or in the ‘protecting’ of them. The templars are weaponized religion. Built on the backs of addiction and abuse. Doesn’t it make you angry that they fed you - your friends' lyrium? That they claim righteousness as they keep you on your lyrium leashes and once you are no longer of use - cast you out to feed your own addiction and descend into madness? Doesn’t it make you fucking pissed that if they truly cared for their ‘people’ - they would care for them after their service was done? Honored their sacrifice? Perhaps even spent all these fucking years researching further into withdrawls, into trying to find a way to safely wean templars off of it? I didn’t make this decision because I’m a mage. I am a mage. And I am fucking proud of it. I will fight - and I will die for my people to breath freely. For them to have the same fucking rights as everyone else. I might not like templars much. But I don’t have to like them to be fucking angry at the abuse. I’m tired of it - of how under the gaudy preening of religion and righteousness a wheel of injustice, abuse, and hate has turned. An order is corrupt when it takes good men - good women - and dulls them to injustice. The supposed thing they are meant to fight for. Dulls them and makes them look the other way - reason why it’s fine for their ‘brothers and sisters’ to rape, to murder, threaten… To terrorize! I didn’t make this choice simply because I’m a mage. I made this choice because I have met people in the templars that have goodness in them. But they’ve been lulled into… this abusive relationship with the chantry! I made my fucking choice Commander. And I did not do it lightly. I did it because it was the right thing to do. Mages and those whom choose to use lyrium to fight bad magic should have been working together. Helping each other. Most mages are good people. If you’d take your fucking head out of your ass. You’d realize that we’re on the same side.”
Cullen look frustrated, but taken aback by her tirade. His mind appearing to be grasping for something to argue back.
“Templars and mages could never be close… It would make us … ineffective or compromised if someone they cared for became an abomination!”
She would have made Cassandra proud with the disgusted noise that she made.
“Taking a life should never be an easy thing. It should be hard. Mages have had to do just that. Mages have had to kill their own when they’ve succumbed to demons possession. It never should be done lightly. Ever.”
He huffed at her.
“It isn’t done lightly…”
She laughed bitterly.
“It is though. It doesn’t cost you like it would if you’d gotten to know them. If they’d been people to you. So many - like you - look and see a mage for what could be. Not what is. People look at a soldier and they see the man - the woman. Not just the armor and the blade. But that isn’t so for us. People only see us as a weapon.”
His jaw worked, he was thinking hard she suspected. Probably hurt that stupid pretty head of his.
“But - you must see it’s not the same. I can put down the sword - put the armor away…”
She made another frustrated noise, shaking her head.
“And what? We just walk around with our magical dicks out and swing it in peoples faces? Our magic is always connected. But we sheith it. Magic can harm. But it can protect. It can heal. Fear and condemnation for being born with such gifts is - it’s… fucking demented. It’s this very fear and radicalization of it that forces many of the mages that become abominations to take such desperate actions… Fear tactics and vilification haven’t been used to teach mages to understand their magic - to learn how to use and control it. But to make them fearful of what they are - ashamed of something that is a part of them. What if for your entire life you were made to fear your arm because it could grasp a sword? Shamed relentlessly because it could corrupt you - because you might kill someone. Maybe someone who didn’t deserve death?”
She was overwhelming him with her argument. There was no way he could say anything to make her think differently. But perhaps she was giving him something to actually think about. If he could get his head from out of the Chantries asshole and genuinely try thinking for himself. Put himself in someone else's goddamn shoes.
“It’s -”
She cut him off again exasperated.
“Let me guess, not the same - let me ask you, Commander. Have you ever looked the other way while a mage - or a tranquil has been taken advantage of sexually? Stood by as a pathetic attempt at punishing your fellow ‘templar’ with a light slap on the wrist? Remained silent when someone has made decisions towards a mage that would have horrified you if they’d been just a normal man or woman… Have you torn a child from its mothers arms because she’s a circle mage - because she’s property - not a person. And because the child is property of the ‘holy chantry’? Have you watched a mage beg for death over the rite of tranquility? And still followed orders to perform the rite against their will? And don’t - don’t tell me at least they are alive! Cause they are lobotomized. Mind raped and robbed of everything that makes them who they are. Imagine living with that threat always. To be stripped of your ability to feel, no more joy… no ability to truly think for yourself or care enough to fight back when someone tries to take advantage of you, to not be able love… Not that circle mages can afford that luxury either way...”
Cullen opened his mouth, but then closed it once more. Guilt flickered over his features.
“Do you think you’re a good man, Cullen?”
The question clearly took the ex Templar off guard. He stumbled over some words before sobering, for the first time he truly looked away to the stone wall. His voice was much quieter. But honest.
“I - No.”
She pinched her nose. Hands still shaking with her built up anger. Though it dissipated slightly.
“You think I hate you. And … I might not be fond of you Commander Cullen. But I do see there is good in you Cullen. But you’ve been corrupted. Like so many. Poisoned by a way of thinking that has been injected into your heart for years that has allowed you to be dulled to the injustice that is screaming all around you. Just… open your eyes - truly - open your eyes. And your ears. Observe. Try to think outside the little box the Chantry has crammed you inside of… Because it’s truly a sad, dark time when good people turn a blind eye and deaf ear to those whom need them, whom have been so long silenced. It’s been sad, dark times for to long. Be a part of the change Commander. Don’t keep justifying the problem.”
With that she strode off. He didn’t stop her. Didn’t even try. She’d taken one look back to see his brow furrowed. Shoulders slumped slightly. Not so proud.
Good. She thought. Not because she’d said anything for some devious plan to wound him. No. She wanted him - and others such as him - to wake up to the fuck up to the injustice they’d been conditioned to overlook. Maybe - just maybe - Commander Cullen could start to move forward instead of continuing to stand in the ruins of a haunted relic.