Unknown Thoughts & Unanswered Prayers
Brinaera’s POV
The bright and cloudless sky was a stark contrast to the storm filled bleakness that filled it mere days ago. Instead of chilled to the bone from wind and rain, it was sweltering and humid, muggy beyond belief. I sat in my bedchambers, on the balcony as I looked out to the view of Blackwater Bay, painting away to pass the time. A slight breeze blew through the air, blowing some of my hair around as I sat on a stool, wearing a vibrant aquamarine colored silk dress, the straps draping down my arms, a shell necklace around my neck.
Painting was often something I did if I were ever bored or something occupied my mind. A few days ago, whilst I was having a moment to myself in the waters of Blackwater Bay during the storm, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched, like a predator of sorts was stalking me like prey. I just shook my head and continued to paint away, trying to forget the feeling of being watched.
I looked at the painting and let out a pleased hum. It was of me, my body bare and nude floating in the crystal blue waters of the sea, the orange light of the setting sun illuminating me. My body adorned by gold jewelry and pearls as fruits and flowers surrounded my body in the water. My hair floating in the water but forming my face perfectly, my doe like hazel eyes staring at whoever looks at the painting, tears rolling down my face. It was
Beautiful, I was beautiful.
As I finished painting and was applying a layer of varnish to it, I could hear rather loud knocking upon my bedchamber door. I get up from my stool and walk across the room, going to open the door. I then opened it to see it was none other than Aegon, seeing that he was already quite inebriated and stumbling a bit, drunken giggles escaping his lips.
Aegon and I, we have had quite the interesting dynamic, as he would constantly flirt with me, tease me, be somewhat handsy with me …. You name it and he did it. I let out a slight huff and raised a questioning brow at him, wondering what it was that he wanted from me.
“Aegon, already midday and you’re as drunk as a Braavosi sealord. Why am I not surprised? What is it you need?”
Aegon just stumbles into my bedchambers, hastily slamming the door shut as he lets out a string of drunken giggles, leering at me per usual.
“I just wanted to see how my favorite bastard was doing. Might I say you are looking absolutely ethereal today, that color looks striking on that beautiful figure of yours.”
I let out a silent huff and speak in a sarcastic yet ever so slightly amused tone of voice.
“Aegon Targaryen, the charming man you are …. Did you stumble your way to my bedchambers just to shamelessly flatter me like you always do?”
Aegon just stumbled over to me and came closer towards me, but something about his body language was making me rather uncomfortable. It was like a feeling of dread was consuming my gut and spreading like a wildfire. My gut feeling was only proven correct when Aegon kept walking towards me, causing me to walk backwards until the back of my legs hit my bed, causing me to fall onto it. Aegon just grins like a wolf in sight of a helpless sheep, hovering over me and pinning me to the mattress of my bed.
“Ohhhh sweet fawn, look at you! I didn’t know you were so eager to have me on top of you like this. Look at you …. Such a thing of beauty, bastard or not, I want a taste of this sweet little fawn.”
By the gods, my gut was right, I hated this, I wanted him off of me. He smelled of wine, sweat and desperation and it wasn’t a combination I wanted to familiarize myself with so intimately. I tried to push him off of me, but he was so inebriated and all of his body weight was on top of me, it was like trying to shove a dragon off a rock.
“Get off of me, Aegon. Get off, get off, get off …. Gods, get off of me …. ”
Aegon wasn’t even paying attention, as if he was completely ignoring my pleas. He just kept kissing my face, the salty taste of tears down my face against his wine stained lips, the way his hands roamed and frenzied over my body like a starved man, it made my skin crawl. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t fight back, I felt paralyzed and as if I was going to be sick. The feeling of him on me was enough to feel a whirlwind of emotions: anger, confusion, betrayal, ill, taken advantage of.
“Shhhhh, shhhhh, don’t worry, pretty thing, it’s alright …. Let me take care of you. I can’t imagine how pent up you must be.”
As he spoke in such a hushed tone, his words slurred together and it made my skin crawl with an ick that was indescribable, his hand sliding up my thigh underneath my dress. After moments of crying and silent pleading in my mind to the Seven above to intervene, I snapped. I finally gathered enough courage to shove Aegon off of me, my foot against his stomach as I finally stood up from my bed, looking up at him with a wide eyed, angry and tearful expression.
“By the Gods, what is wrong with you? Why did you shove me?”
I didn’t respond with words, but with a sharp slap across his face, one that snapped his head to the side and brought him to a knee. He went wide eyed and started to slightly shake, bringing his hand up to his stinging cheek, looking up at me with glossy eyes, welling up with tears of his own. I just looked down at him, my own eyes glossy and filled with tears as I readjusted my dress, tears staining my cheeks as my fists clenched the now tainted silk fabric of my dress.
“You …. You struck me. I didn’t …. ”
“What in the name of the fucking Seven did you think you were doing? Stumbling like a drunken, obnoxious cunt and pinning me down as if you were owed any type of intimacy from me. I have experienced all sorts of teasing and flirtation and leering from you for years now Aegon, but NEVER did I …. ”
I cut myself off as I hear my own voice crack, turning away from Aegon for a moment, before turning back to face him as tears of hurt and betrayal run down my face.
“Never did I think you would take such advantage of my kindness as to go so far as to try and have your way with me by force. I have lost trust and even some faith in you.”
“No, no please …. Please don’t say such things. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll beg! Is that what you want? I’ll beg and plead, I do not care, just don’t hate me, please …. Please, Brinaera, I can’t have you hate me. You’re the only one to care.”
“Yet you squander it all just for a moment of forced, drunken intimacy? You had one single friend in me and you pissed it all away, Aegon. Was it worth it? I hope you savor the feeling of my skin on your finger tips, because I will spend what feels like eons scrubbing the feeling of your touch off of mine.”
Aegon staggered as he got up to his feet as he walked towards me and grabbed me by my arms, tears rolling down his face. His breath still reeked of wine, and he was a mess.
“Stop it, stop saying those things. I need you, please. Please stop. I have no one else, I am all alone.”
I felt my skin crawl with disgust once more upon feeling Aegon’s touch, flinching as I let out a choked sob and scream, shoving him off of me.
“Get off of me! I WANT YOU OUT! LEAVE! YOU HAVE MADE ME FEEL FILTHY WITH JUST A SINGLE TOUCH! And to think I EVER trusted you, even a shred!”
As soon as Aegon left my bedchambers, I was left alone to grapple with the feeling of filth and impurity upon my skin. I go over to the balcony and grab the painting I did earlier, bring it into my room and place it upon the table beside my bed, propping it up. I felt numb, filthy and impure …. Quite the opposite from the painting of myself I had painted.
Third Person POV
Hours had passed and night had fallen over the Red Keep, yet Brinaera had not moved from her spot, still just staring at the painting of herself she had finished hours ago, feeling as if a piece of her had been ripped and her being sullied. The usually warm and lit bedchambers of the Baratheon girl were now dark and only lit up by the pale moonlight shining in from the windows and balcony.
A soft knock could be heard and waited for a response, yet received none. The door to Brinaera’s bedchambers opened and in walked Helaena, hoping that she would find her friend inside.
“Brinaera? You weren’t at dinner, and I was worried. I wanted to see you.”
Brinaera said nothing, her numb expression still staring blankly at the painting in front of her. Helaena just stared sympathetically before lighting a few candles to bring some semblance of light into the room. She then walked around to the other side of the bed to where Brinaera was, sitting next to her on the mattress. A few moments of silence passed between the two of them before Helaena spoke up, her tone reassuring yet the slightest bit awkward.
“You are not alone. I know that …. It must hurt. The feeling of betrayal, someone you have known the majority of your life and yet, they take advantage of your kindness. They mistake it for weakness. You aren’t weak. You have strength in you, I know it.”
Sweet Helaena, so empathetic and prophetic. She always did care for Brinaera like a sister, and was friends with her, regardless of her bastard status. Brinaera just looked up at Helaena, their gazes locking and stared at Helaena’s shoulder tentatively as if to get permission, since she knew Helaena was adverse to physical contact. Helaena just nodded her head, and Brinaera just let out an exhale, resting her head on the shoulder of her prophetic friend.
“I never thought he would lay a hand on me, Helaena.”
“I know, fawn, I know. He’s not the brother of mine you’ve wanted.”
Brinaera just looked up at Helaena confused and as they locked gazes, it clicked in Brinaera’s head that Helaena knew. She always knew. Of course she did.
“Your secret is safe with me. Perhaps you are the one thing in Aemond’s life that sways him for the better.”
Before Brinaera could ask Helaena what she had meant by that, Helaena had gotten up from the bed and smiled before leaving the bedchambers of the Baratheon girl, leaving her to wonder in curiosity at her friend's words. Brinaera just let out a sigh and decided to slip out of her dress, switching it out for a pale off white colored sleeping gown, undoing her hair and removing the decorative beads in the dark brunette locks, letting her hair run free and loose.
Brinaera made her way towards the bed, the netting material of the canopy slightly blowing from the breeze as she got under the blankets. She made herself comfortable underneath the covers, closing her eyes as she wanted to forget the events of earlier today, the lingering feeling of Aegon’s drunken touch on her skin made her shudder in disgust. Within moments, Brinaera was fast asleep, the events of earlier feeling like a bad dream now.
Whilst she peacefully slept, the door to her bedchambers cracked open as the figure’s eye scanned over the entire room, making sure nothing was out of place. They saw Brinaera fast asleep with her hair sprawled out in every direction yet still some in her face, her eyes were closed and her cheeks were rosy. Her lips were slightly parted as quiet and soft snores emitted from her, her chest rising and deflating with each slow breath. The faint orange hue from the lit candles illuminated each feature of Brinaera’s sleeping figure, making her look as if she was an angel.
The figure closed the door of Brinaera’s bedchambers quietly, as to make sure not to wake her, walking towards the bed and sitting on the edge, staring at her sleeping figure with a ghost of a small smile lingering on his lips. His closest and dearest friend, the one who had been by his side through so much, especially when he had lost his eye …. Poor Prince Aemond.
He just continued to stare at Brinaera whilst she was asleep, watching over her silently as if he were a guard dog or guardian angel, wondering how in the Seven Hells he had been so blessed to have someone such as her in his life. His single pale eye stared down at his dear friend and thought back on each and every memory, both good and bad, his hand gently reaching to stroke her hair in a slow and soothing manner while she slept. His breath almost hitched as she slightly stirred, moving closer towards him in her slumber, but let out a silent exhale of relief as she remained asleep.
The last time they had such an intimate moment like this was before Aemond’s thirteenth name day, before his first experience with Madam Sylvi from the Streets of Silk. A “gift” bestowed upon him by his dear older brother Aegon, and of course after it all, Aemond wouldn’t let anyone near him that night …. No one except Brinaera. She was the only one he let in, the only one to even touch him and comfort him. If Aemond could, he would keep her locked away in his bedchambers, protected at all costs and hidden from the dangers of the world. He would keep Brinaera bottled up and safe from all the evils and perils of outside if it meant she’d be free from harm.
He continued to slowly stroke her hair as he stared down at her, shushing her in a gentle manner every time she twitched or made a noise in her sleep, hushing her with murmurs.
“Shhhh, shhh shhh shhh …. No one will harm you, opal. No one. Sleep.”
She was kind, she was gentle and good, she was pure and Aemond would make sure to always protect her. Anyone who dared to even stare at her the wrong way would have a one way trip to the inside of Vhagar’s mouth. Bastard or not, she was his everything, whether he would say it aloud or not. She was his.