chaelisa
Nighttime in the city. Lamp posts emit light in ghastly orbs that float in the air, phantoms watching over the hooded streets. Windows seem etched in darkened buildings, soulless glass portals to dusty rooms, not one lit with warmth.
A giggle rings through the cold midnight air, echoes bouncing off street corners and alleyways.
"Lisa! Be quieter, won't you?"
Lisa grins, long limbs flailing as she tugs another girl along the sidewalks with her. The pair almost melt into the shadows, clad in muted color, staying close to the worn brick walls. "It's alright, Chaeyoung."
Chaeyoung nudges insistently at Lisa's grasp, boot-clad feet dragging on the dusty ground a little. "They'll catch us if we're not careful."
The back of Lisa's head glints, silver locks shifting with every movement. "We'll still be fine."
Chaeyoung's hand falls slack in Lisa's grip, the other girl pausing her steps. Lisa twists towards her, frowning at the resistance. Angled moonlight cuts Chaeyoung's silhouette and stone-cold countenance into contrasting halves of light and dark. "You can't say that."
Lisa sighs, pulling Chaeyoung into motion again, resignation and a little bit of the comfort Chaeyoung so clearly seeks softening her features. "Let's not talk about this, alright?"
Chaeyoung bites her lip, clearly opposed, but Lisa doesn't let her speak, quickly swinging them both into a dark doorway. Chaeyoung nearly trips on the unexpected stairs, vision impaired by the limited light, if not for Lisa's firm grasp pulling her back up. They bound their way up the stairway in dusty shadows, Lisa seeming to know every twist and turn.
Soon, Chaeyoung sees a glint of moonlight, bathing the worn-down concrete steps in silvery light. They emerge onto a rooftop, night breeze blowing a few strands of Chaeyoung's faded blonde hair out of place. The city is dark, abandoned-looking. The whole buildings, devoid of light, rise out of the cityscape in blocks and spires, monochrome silhouettes framed against the black sky, tinged with a hint of blue. It weighs at Chaeyoung's heart. This was her empire, once.
The warmth of Lisa's hand in hers suddenly disappears, and Chaeyoung starts back to reality. Her gaze lands on Lisa, now seated on cold concrete, her grin bright as always, unheeding to her legs that dangle dangerously over the edge of the roof. "Come sit."
"What are you doing?" Chaeyoung eases down beside the other girl, enjoying the feeling of her heels kicking freely against the side of the building.
"Star-gazing," Lisa giggles, directing her gaze upward.
Grains of rocks graze at Chaeyoung's hands as she leans back, taking a look at the sky, so devoid of stars that it's laughable. "There are no stars, Lisa."
"It's the thought that counts." Lisa squints at some point, far off in the distance, a slender finger rising towards the 'star'. "See? There's one right there, I'm sure. It's just shy."
Chaeyoung, however, finds her eyes drifting to Lisa's profile, tracing the outline of her nose, lips, eyelashes that fade to gossamer in the moonlight.
It's the thought that counts.
The words slip out, mindlessly, before she can stop them. "We're not here to stargaze, aren't we?"
Lisa's smile dims, her hands going to fiddle with the sleeves of her leather jacket, straying to the handgun she always has strapped to her side. "How did you realize?"
Chaeyoung's hand unconsciously lays itself over her own gun. The outline of metal is strangely comforting, softened with the fabric of her own matching jacket. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"
Lisa heaves a breath, the atmosphere suddenly just all that more heavy. Chaeyoung sees her own sadness reflected in the infinite whirlpools of Lisa's brown eyes. The other girl's voice seems leaden, aged by something infinite passing years can't even create. "I just wanted us to go out our own way."
"You know that we can't run anymore, Lisa."
"I know." Lisa's laughter trembles under the burden of her words.
Chaeyoung's exhale shakes. She knows now, what Lisa means. "Will you be happy? Ending it like this?"
"As happy as I'll get." Lisa's smile is painfully faked, but Chaeyoung accepts it anyway.
She knows it hurts. Their dream, shattered into a million shattered fragments, broken mirrors reflecting their own jeering faces back up at them. Chaeyoung wishes she could go back to the day when their reckless young selves stole her dad's car, ideas of a utopia released from their uplifted mouths into the hot summer air. She wishes the first shot, fired into the shrunken old government official's head, hadn't been so easy. She wishes that as they fled the scene, weighed down by all the money they swore they would rightfully give back to the civilians, addicting exhilaration didn't run so unbidden in her veins. She wishes they hadn't gotten so attached to, so reliant on the mirage of killing for the greater good, even though nothing they did had ever led to any good. She wishes justice didn't morph into something that destroyed their souls and sunk their ledgers in the blood of innocents. Or was it all the same anyway?
But she takes a deep breath, hiding the turmoil of thoughts and regret under her soft exterior, relishing the frigid air swirling through her lungs. "Let's do it?"
"Just a few more minutes," Lisa softly utters, voice almost a whisper. Chaeyoung's eyes follow her gaze, watching flashing red and blue lights slowly light up their ghost-town of a sanctuary, sirens sounding faintly in the distance. Chaeyoung basks in the almost familiar sound, hoping the shrill alarm will ground her a little more.
"Okay. I'm ready." Lisa reaches to her side, pulling out her handgun, fingers executing the practiced movements ever-so-shakily.
Chaeyoung places her hand over Lisa's, meeting the younger girl's eyes. With a pang, she sees, reflected in the vulnerable depths of Lisa's brown orbs, the scared 11-year-old girl Chaeyoung had saved from the bullies all those years ago. Lisa will never be that person ever again, other than in this precious sliver of time. Chaeyoung doesn't know whether she should feel glad or not. "It's okay."
Lisa nods, as if convincing herself more than Chaeyoung. "Y-yeah."
"So..." Chaeyoung takes out her own gun. "This is goodbye, then?"
"I guess so." Lisa closes her eyes. "It's been a good run."
Chaeyoung nods and does the same, pressing the cold barrel to the side of her head.
Somehow, she feels the police nearing, each blare of the siren louder than the next. It's now or never.
"I'll count down, okay?"
Fabric rustles in a wordless nod from Lisa.
"Three... two... o--"
The 'one' never fully leaves her lips.
A few blocks away, the police look up to the bang of a fired handgun, their eyes falling on Lisa's silhouette beside Chaeyoung's slumped one, quivering against the sky. Tears stream down the girl's face.
Another gunshot rings into the sky, Lisa's last words echoing through no one's heart but her own.
"I love you, Chaeng."