Second First Kiss
After Chloe died, I didn't really know what to do. I sat in the bathroom, completely still, until the paramedics had to forcibly remove me. After I started moving again, I had to speak to an investigator who asked me a lot of questions about what happened. I didn't know what to tell him. He wouldn't believe me if I told him the truth. Nobody would. So, I told him that I didn't know what happened. I don't think he believed me but he let me go since I wasn't a suspect.
It's been six months since the investigation started and Nathan fessed up to what he and Jefferson did after a few weeks. It was all over the news and people wouldn't stop talking about it. I kinda tuned out of it after a while since it just reminded me of Chloe but, last thing I heard, Jefferson and Nathan were on trial. Jefferson's class is being run by a substitute until the school is able to find a suitable replacement.
Right now, I'm getting dressed to sneak out of my dorm and go stargazing with Warren. He and I started spending a lot more time together recently, since he and Kate are my only friends now and Kate has her own problems she's been working on in counseling.
I slip on my familiar hoodie and converse. My phone dings. It's Warren, asking me if I was still coming and telling me that he brought snacks. Jeez. I told him I would be there at 6:30, it's only 6:33. But, I guess he wouldn't be Warren if he wasn't always pestering me in his weird, endearing way.
I turn on my phone's flashlight and begin my escape from the girl's dorm. I can't help but feel an uneasy sort of deja vu. The last time I was sneaking out like this was when Chloe and I broke into the school to play Nancy Drew. But, I guess that technically didn't happen. Despite it not happening, it still feels so real. I can still remember the distinct smell of chlorine in my hair, and I can remember goofing around with Chloe in the pool and wanting to kiss her so badly. I can remember us hiding from security, I was fucking terrified but Chloe was there, so I knew everything would be okay. I can remember sleeping next to her. My heart was beating out of my chest and I realized that I was in love with her. But, none of that happened and she's dead and I have to move on. As I sneak through the halls, I notice that Kate's door is open just a crack and her light seems to be on.
I knock on Kate's door.
"Who is it?" I hear her ask from inside.
"Um, it's Max."
"Oh! Max, come in!"
I open her door, making sure to not make too much noise and I walk in. Kate gets up from her desk and gives me a hug. She looks at me, and offers a worried expression.
"Is everything okay? You look a little out of it."
"Err-- yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about things."
"If you need someone to talk about things with, I'm here anytime, Max. I'm just a few rooms down." Kate says as she gives me a comforting smile.
"Anyways, what are you doing out of your room so late?" She questions.
"I'm just going to hang out with Warren. He bought a new telescope and he wants to show it off."
"Warren is such a sweetie pie. We should invite him to our tea sessions."
"No boys allowed. This is our thing." I laugh.
"If you say so."
My phone dings again. It's Warren, again. He's asking me if I got busted. I reply, telling him I just took a detour and would be there soon.
"Sorry to cut this short, but Warren's worried about me. Gotta go."
"Bye, Max."
I leave Kate's room, and get back to my escape. I sneak out of the dorm's doors and rush down the stairs. I peer out the door, checking to make sure that nobody's out there. It's completely empty outside. I turn off my phone light, I can see well enough by the moonlight. It's so creepy to be out here at night, I'm so used to the daytime where it's always crowded with students playing football and gossiping on the benches. It feels dead out here. I should be quick and get to Warren before I totally freak myself out.
When I reach the courtyard, I can see the shadowed figure of Warren sitting at one of the picnic tables holding something.
"Hey, Max!" Warren yells as he notices my arrival.
"Come over here!"
I walk over to the picnic table and take a seat next to him.
"Hi, Warren."
"Max! Check it out!" He shoves a sleek, white handheld telescope into my hands. Seeing it reminded me of the telescope Chloe had when we were just kids playing pirates. I felt a twang of pain remembering how close Chloe and I were as kids. We were two pirates hiding in our secret tree fort and planning to take over the world. The day that Chloe's dad passed, I remember Chloe brought out that old telescope and we used it to find our old time capsule.
I snapped out of my reminiscing to look up at Warren who's looking at me expectantly.
"Oh, it's cool." I nod at him.
"Are you okay, Max? You seem...weird?"
"I'm fine, Warren, don't worry about me." Recently, everyone's been asking me if I'm okay but I never know what to tell them. I don't even know how to articulate what's happening in my head and they wouldn't believe me if I could explain it to them. I feel like such a freaking burden but I can't fix it. What am I supposed to do? Go to a therapist and say 'hey, I can't function like a normal human being because I stopped my childhood best friend from being shot in a bathroom with my TIME TRAVEL POWERS and fell in love with her and we uncovered my teacher's creepy kidnapping scheme and then I had to reverse time to let her DIE or else my entire town would be wiped out by an F6 tornado." of course not, that's insane.
"Anyways, what are we out here to do?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.
"Oh, yeah! I wanted to show you some constellations with my new telescope." He grins at me.
"By the way, I brought some snacks." He dumps an "Arcadia Gas" plastic bag full of various snack food.
"I don't think we need this much food to hang out for like an hour." I laugh and begin rifling through the bag.
"Well, if we don't eat it now, I'll just horde it in my room and eat it later." He shrugs.
"Okay, back to what I was saying originally. Since it's spring we can see a few constellations. Like Ursa Major, Virgo and Hydra." Warren says.
"And, umm, I was excited to show you Virgo since you're a Virgo." He adds. He knows my zodiac sign? I didn't even know my zodiac sign.
"Are you a big astrology guy?" I tease.
"Hey, can't a sensitive high school boy be into astrology?" He laughs awkwardly.
"Sure."
"Are you gonna keep making fun of me or can I show you the constellations?" Warren asks, feigning offense.
"Okay, I'm done making fun of you. Show me the stuff."
Warren moves closer to me and shows me how to work the telescope.
I never really noticed how cute Warren was up close until now. His dark eyes are gentle and kind, his expression is soft, and his messy tawny hair is tucked behind his ear. He's blushing super hard. I've kinda always known that Warren was interested in me, how could I not after he got his ass kicked by Nathan in the old timeline, but I wasn't sure if I felt the same until now.
"You're gonna want to tilt it up and move your head to the left a bit, and then you'll see the first star in the Virgo constellation." Warren explains.
"Then move back a few inches and you can see the whole thing."
I follow Warren's instructions and can see the whole constellation, if I'm being honest, it just looks like a rhombus with lines around it.
"What's it supposed to be?" I ask.
"It's like an angel or something? But it doesn't really look like it." Warren chuckles.
"Yeah, I don't see it." I reply as I put down the telescope.
Warren's eyes meet mine and I can feel my face starting to heat up. Warren pushes a strand of hair away from my face and rests his hand on my cheek. He looks to me for approval. I nod at him. He began to lean in and I can feel my heart starting to beat out of my chest. I close my eyes as his lips met mine but instead of thinking of him, I think of my first kiss with Chloe. I remember how Chloe dared me to kiss her and freaked when I actually did it. I remember how cute Chloe looked in the morning in her pale blue boxers and t shirt. Then, I started to feel the guilt building up inside of me, like I had just cheated on both of them.
I pull away.
"Warren, I have to go." I say as I begin rushing to my dorm.
"Max?" He yells out.
"Max? Did I mess up? I'm sorry!" He shouts but I continue running, I just need to be alone now.