Friendly Neighbourhood Help
Harry Styles was fourteen when it first happened. He woke up confused about where he was and when he walked downstairs it didn’t feel like he was in control. It felt like someone was controlling him, or like he wasn’t himself at all. He went to school that day still feeling the same way and it was around morning break he started hearing it. It was like a voice in the back of his head calling his name, telling him to wake up.
He made it through the rest of the day with the same feeling and voice in his head. He just ignored the feelings and went by on autopilot. When he made it home he just sat upstairs doing his homework, he spoke to Gemma a little but didn’t really interact with anyone much. It wasn’t until dinner that night that Anne asked him about it.
Harry, Gemma and Anne were sitting at the dinner table when Anne turned to Gemma.
“Hey Gem, would you mind letting Harry and I talk for a minute?”
Harry was confused but allowed Gemma to leave.
“Harry, are you feeling okay?” Anne asked concerned for her son,
“I… uh… yeah…” Harry replied unsurely,
“It’s okay Harry, you can tell me anything?” Anne asked knowing that Harry wasn’t quite being honest.
“I just, I... I think I’m coming down with something…” Harry replied.
Anne didn’t think it was quite the truth but she knew she couldn’t force Harry into talking. Also, Harry didn’t look quite right so Anne decided to go with it.
“Okay, why don’t you have a lie in tomorrow and I’ll tell the school you’re sick,” Anne suggested.
“Are you sure?” Harry replied, “I don’t think I’m bad enough to miss school.”
“I know Harry but I know that you’re not okay. Even if you’re not sick I want to keep an eye on it.” Anne explained worriedly for her son’s health.
The next day Harry was fine. He still had time off but he was fine. Harry spent the next few weeks happy, nothing was wrong. It wasn’t until Harry was 17 that something happened again.
He woke up one morning feeling on edge. Like his whole body was about to launch into a panic attack. Harry walked downstairs with hair slightly more dishevelled than usual and he was looking a little pale.
“You okay Harry?” Anne asked concerned,
“Y… y… yeah…” Stuttered Harry,
“Take a seat, love,” Anne commanded, guiding Harry to the sofa.
Harry sat down leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He began chewing on the sleeve of his hoodie. It wasn’t the first time Harry had had a panic attack but Harry felt that this one was different, it was more intense.
Harry felt his breathing picking up slightly. The next thing Harry knew, Anne thrust a paper bag in front of him. Harry shakily took it holding it to his mouth.
“You need to breathe, Harry,” Anne said as she put one hand over Harry’s on the bag to help steady it. She placed her other hand on Harry’s back rubbing soothing circles gently. “It’s okay Harry…”
When Harry calmed down a bit Anne spoke up again, “You’re doing so well Harry…” After another few minutes, Anne said, “You’re not going to school today. I’ll phone the school once you’re more stable.”
Anne sat and continued to soothe Harry. She rubbed Harry’s back in circular motions. Soon Anne felt Harry start shaking with sobs as he started to cry.
“It’s okay… it’s okay…”
Once Harry’s tears had died down he went and changed into some sweats and was sat on the sofa when Anne came into the room.
“I spoke to school and they said that they understand the circumstances.” Anne started whilst sitting down next to Harry on the sofa. “But I called my boss and she said she wishes he could let me off but I’m needed this afternoon as Lucy has a doctor's appointment. But I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
“It’s fine Mum...” Harry said with tears still falling. “I’ll go to school… Or I’ll stay home alone.”
“No Harry. You’re not going in… I’ve called Mr Tomlinson to see if he or his wife could check in. They said their son could come over.”
“Their son?” Harry asked, confused.
“Yes… They have a son a few years older than you. But he’s out of school on study leave and so said he’d be happy to spend the day here with you.”
Harry nodded and soon Anne and Gemma had left and Harry was waiting for Mr and Mrs Tomlinson’s son to arrive.
Harry was in a daze; his eyesight was slipping in and out of focus. He couldn’t feel his body and his mind was all… fuzzy? He was terrified. He didn’t know how to deal with what he was feeling… He was sat in with his head in his hands and yet he felt like he couldn’t feel his hands.
He barely felt it when someone put a hand on his back rubbing gently. He tried to turn to look at the person but he couldn’t. He felt too dizzy to move.
“Just breathe…” A voice off to the side spoke gently.
Harry felt the sofa dip next to him. The hand on his back started rubbing a little harder.
“It’s okay…” The voice repeated firmly.
Harry felt the dizziness overcome him quickly. He slumped to the size hardly conscious but trying so hard to hold on; to stay awake. He didn’t realise that he’d fallen into the person next to him until he felt an arm hold him close.
“It’s okay, just let go… it’ll be over soon…” The voice said gently.
Harry felt the darkness take him.
He woke up lying on the sofa with a blanket over him. There was a pillow behind his head and when he rolled over he saw a glass of water on the side. He also noticed that the TV was now on and there was a documentary playing.
Harry slowly sat up only to be pushed back down by strong hands.
“Hey… hey… it’s okay…” Said the owner of the two hands,
Harry looked confused as a man came into view.
“You fainted. You were stuck in a pretty bad anxiety attack. You were fading in and out of consciousness until I told you to relax.” He explained, “You may be feeling a little unsteady for a while. As instructed by Anne here are your anxiety meds, something for the weakness and pain killers in case you need them.” He said as he handed Harry the six pills from the table, “And from experience and research I got you Gatorade to help with the dizziness and the energy loss.” He finished before getting the bottle from the kitchen.
“I… I’m sorry.”
“Hey no…” He said sitting down on the side of the couch by Harry’s legs. “It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise to me. You’re going through something and I just want to help you”.
“Thank you,” Harry muttered quietly,
“What’s wrong?” The man asked gently.
“I just… it’s embarrassing. I mean, I don’t even know your name…”
Before Harry could say anything else the man replied, “Louis… my name is Louis. And it’s not embarrassing. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m glad I was here otherwise you’d have been going through that alone. There’s nothing embarrassing about an anxiety attack, I know how scary they can be and it’s okay.”
Louis gently helped Harry sit up so he could take the medication.
“How are you feeling now?” Louis asked after a few minutes,
“I…” Harry started but the words died on his lips.
“Please, be honest with me,” Louis urged,
“Bad…” Harry muttered very quietly.
“What sort of bad?” Louis asked gently, moving closer to Harry so he could make eye contact with Harry whilst still being close enough to comfort Harry if he needed to.
“My heart feels like it's fluttering and my chest hurts. I can’t quite get my head straight and… and I feel like I’m on the edge like I could launch into another attack at any second.”
As Harry went on Louis found the speed at which he spoke was increasing rapidly. He knew he’d have to intervene soon if Harry continued like this.
“Hey… it’s okay…” Louis said placing a hand on Harry’s back to rub soothing circles as he had done earlier. “I’m not judging you, I just want to help you.”
Harry and Louis sat like that in a comfortable silence for a while before Harry yawned.
“Are you tired?” Louis asked knowing the answer.
Harry nodded shyly.
“Why don’t you go to sleep for a while, I’ll be right here when you wake up,” Louis suggested,
Harry gave Louis an unsure look.
“I promise I’m not going anywhere”.
Harry gave Louis a small smile before Louis helped him to lie down again. Louis moved to the floor next to the sofa. He was sitting so one side of his body was leaning against the sofa and he was looking at Harry.
Harry’s eyes fluttered furiously as he tried to stay awake. Louis slowly moved his hand to stroke Harry’s hair gently. Harry leaned into Louis’s touch and relaxed visibly.
“I’ll be right here…” Louis said once more as Harry’s eyes slipped closed and the sleep overcame him.