Cookies in the Cupboard
“Harry. Can you remember the first time you experienced something like that?” Asked a woman with long brown hair, tied up in a neat ponytail and grey glasses that sat on her nose giving the impression that she was an intelligent woman with much to say.
The silence that followed the question spoke more than the boy, in grey sweats and a black T, had in days.
“Can you tell me about your feelings when it happened?” She tried a different approach, “Were you sad? Angry?”
When she was again met by no response she used her black pen to etch notes onto the page in front of her. She then placed her pen down on the notebook and adjusted the pot of stationary just to the left of her. They sat in silence for another five minutes when she let out a small sigh. She was losing patience with the boy and it was clear that he too was fed up of this ‘conversation’.
“Harry. We have fifteen minutes left…” She began, “There will be another appointment set for tomorrow with Alice as I’m out on a meeting. The appointment will be your weekly two hour check. Meaning you’ll have a few tasks to do on paper and a small evaluation.”
As she spoke she knew Harry was taking in all of the information, even if he was still staring at the same spot on the carpet as he had been for the entire forty-five minutes he’d been in there.
“Tomorrow your appointment will be in the Rec room rather than here and Luke will be the one taking you to and from it…”
Still Harry was silent.
“Okay. So there’s only ten minutes left but I’ll get Louis to take you back now as there isn’t really anything else I’d like to do with this time.”
She carefully picked up the phone on the desk and keyed in four numbers.
“Hello … Yes … Harry and I are finished for today … I know but there was nothing else to discuss … Yes, he’s aware of tomorrow's arangements … Okay … Thank you, I’ll see you in a minute … Okay … bye.”
As soon as she put the phone down there was a gentle knock on the door and a tall man with short brown hair walked in. He was wearing black jeans and a white v-neck T, with a red flannel unbuttoned over the top. On his flannel there was a silver name tag reading, Louis Tomlinson Jr. Volunteer.
“Hi Emma,” Louis said, waving to the woman at the desk.
She looked up and smiled, “Hello Louis.”
Harry stood up and walked out of the room, ignoring Emma as she said goodbye.
“Still not talking, eh?” Louis asked,
“I’m afraid not.” Emma quickly replied.
Louis replied with a sad smile and then left the office to see that Harry was already turning the corner at the other end of the corridor.
“Hey! Harry, wait up!” Called Louis as he caught up, “We go through this every time, I have to walk you back whether you like it or not.”
He opened the door and allowed Harry to step through.
“So how’s it going? Talk about anything interesting?” He asked jokingly,
“Oh, wow… sounds like you had a blast!” Louis continued sarcastically.
He looked to Harry to see that he really wasn’t impressed.
“Look dude,” Louis said, “You know you can’t stay silent forever. You’ll have to talk eventually.”
Harry kept walking, looking down at the ground.
Finally they got to Harry’s room and he let himself in, ignoring Louis as he said goodbye.
He sat down on the bed and let out a sigh.
His room was painted pale blue and had white furniture. There was a small desk, a chest of drawers and a small unit for hanging clothes in. Along with that there was a single bed with light grey bedding and a royal blue comforter. There was a chair in the corner of the room made of dark grey leather.
“Knock, knock!” Said a boy as he opened the door, walked in and let the door close behind him.
“Hey Harry,” He said as he sat on the chair.
Harry let out a small smile.
“So I guess therapy was tough then.”
Harry slowly nodded.
“And I see you’re still not talking.”
Harry looked down at his lap slightly embarrassed.
“Well, if you don’t mind I’m going to be your silent company and just sit here and read comics for a while.” The boy said as he pulled out a small pile of comics from his bag and opened one before looking at Harry, who chuckled silently at the other boy's antics.
The boy had been a constant visitor in Harry’s room since he’d arrived. On his second day there the boy had walked in, not realising that the room had been given to someone else. He introduced himself as Liam and explained to Harry that the room used to be empty so he’d go in there and read comic books. Although Harry never said anything Liam seemed to like his company and Harry didn’t mind having someone there either so from that day forward Liam just let himself in and would just sit and read and sometimes make the odd remark here and there and Harry would sit silently, sometimes reading one of Liam’s comic books and sometimes just thinking about life.
An hour passed when there was a knock at the door.
“Harry… and Liam…” Said a woman as she entered.
“Ah, Mrs C, guess it’s my time to go.” Liam said as he stood from his seat and gathered his comics.
“Yes, lunch is just being set up in the hall so I’ve been sent to make sure everyone is in their own rooms and ready.” She replied,
“Okay, see you later Harry,” Liam said whilst saluting to Harry before leaving.
After the door closed she turned to Harry. She gave him a sad smile before going into the corridor and retrieving a metal trolley and pushing it into the room. Upon the trolley was a needle, some antiseptic wipes and various other items.
“Okay Harry. As usual I have to ask, are you going to eat anything?” She asked.
Harry just stared at his lap, ignoring the woman in front of him.
“Will you try? Just a little?”
Once again. He didn’t respond.
“Ok. Well, you know the drill. Hold your arm out” She gave him a sad smile when he rolled his sleeve up and revealed the scarred arm beneath it.
She pulled on some white latex gloves and got to work preparing the needle. Once she was ready she turned back to Harry and placed a blue band on his arm above the elbow. Although this was hardly the first time he’d had a line put in, Harry still couldn’t watch as the needle went in and still flinched when it penetrated his flesh.
“All done!” Mrs C said all too cheerfully, “Now Joe will be along shortly to attach the bag.”
“Harry, you have to eat!” Anne almost yelled, she was struggling to keep her cool.
Her frustration at her son for his childish games was strong but she was not about to give up. Harry just stared at the ground, silently, never once saying a word.
“For Goodness Sake Harry! Say something!” This time Anne did yell. “You can’t keep acting like this! You are not a child any more!”
Harry felt tears well up in his eyes. He tried but he couldn’t hold them back, he was now full blown crying in front of his mum but Anne didn’t notice. She was too caught up in her rant. She didn’t mean to sound harsh but she was so worried about her son.
“You are an eighteen year old boy who needs to get his act together!”
He felt his chest tighten and his breath shorten. He had to get out, now. He hurriedly walked past his mum and out of his room.
As he walked away he could hear his sister Gemma chastising their mum for shouting at him but right now he didn’t care. He needed to get away. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going to go but he walked down the corridor to and through the door at the end.
Once he got there he found a small storage cupboard he could hide in. Once he was in there he quickly closed the door and let himself slide down it to the ground. He had his head in his hands as he curled into a ball on the floor.
He wasn’t sure how long he was there for but he heard a quiet knocking on the door.
“Harry…” He softly called, “It’s me Louis… Please open the door… it’s just me, I’m alone.”
After thinking about it Harry moved and opened the door slightly. Louis took this as a sign that it was okay to enter. He carefully pushed the door and stepped before closing and locking the door again. He then sat down opposite Harry, carefully positioning himself with his legs crossed to try not to crush the boy in the small space. Once he’d settled he looked at the boy across from him. Although there was only a dim orange light in the cupboard he could tell the boy was very pale. He was sitting with his knees pulled close to his chest and his head looking down at his lap.
Louis sat still for a while, just letting the boy have a moment for himself. In the silence he began to hear Harry’s gentle sobs. Once they’d died down a bit Louis decided it was time to speak up.
“Are you okay?” Louis gently asked.
After a moment of silence he continued, “No… of course you’re not… I’m sorry.”
Harry moved a little and his gaze became set on the corner of the room, next to Louis.
“Not much of a talker, eh?” Louis asked.
Harry just lightly shook his head, briefly glancing at Louis before looking to the floor again. They once again fell into silence before Louis spoke up.
“You know, I never used to be much of a talker…” Louis began, “Nope, never said a word. I would just sit silently and watch the world. I mean I still do it sometimes. That’s how I learnt a lot of secrets. You see, when you’re a listener instead of a talker, you overhear many things. For example, Nurse Carter, well she claims to have no idea where all the cookies keep going but I know that she’s been hiding them and eating them herself.”
Harry looked up at Louis and showed a small smile. Harry knew Louis was talking to him like a child but he didn’t mind too much as Louis was the only one not yelling at him.
“Ah, so you can smile. I thought you were incapable of it.” Louis smiled back. “I also know where she hides the cookies.”
He then stood up and reached for a box on the top shelf of the cupboard. He then sat back down opening the box before showing Harry the contents of the box.
“Do you want one?” Louis asked hopefully, whilst taking one himself.
Harry shook his head signalling no.
“Come on, I can tell you do… They’re really good!” Louis tried to tempt.
He could see the conflict on Harry's face. However, he slowly reached out to take a cookie from the box. Louis tried not to stare as he hesitantly brought it to his lips and took a small bite. Louis couldn’t hide his happiness that he’d succeeded in getting the boy to eat something.
“They’re good right!” Louis stated and Harry nodded in return but still had an unsure look splayed across his features.
They sat in silence for a little longer and Louis noticed that Harry wasn’t eating anymore of the cookie.
“You don’t have to feel ashamed for eating you know,” Louis said with a sad smile,
“I know…” Harry replied quietly.
Louis tried to hide the shock that Harry had actually spoken to him but he was certain he’d failed.
“I just… I can’t eat okay… I can’t…” Harry finished.
“Okay.” Louis replied.
Harry gently placed the cookie into a tissue he’d found on the floor and put it on a shelf.
They sat in silence for at least another ten minutes before Harry slowly began to get up and unlock the door.
The two of them walked slowly back to Harry’s room and when they entered the room Harry felt himself begin to well up again.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Louis said gently pulling Harry into a hug, “It’s okay.”