Chapter 8
Jun was taken to a local hospital to be checked over, and Yuzuru insisted on going to visit him after the short-cut show. They were led into Jun's private room and the younger gave Yuzuru a weak smile. He was conscious again, sitting up in the hospital bed with an IV going into his left arm. The nurses gave the new pair a smile as they left, promising to return to check on the youngster in a little bit. Keiji lingered by the door, chatting to the security placed on the room, and Yuzuru sat down beside Jun.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
Jun's look said all that he couldn't find the words to, and Yuzuru opened up his arms. The younger hid his face in Yuzuru's shoulder and started shaking and crying. Yuzuru held him close, trying to comfort his friend but, with what happened at the concert, he had no idea how to.
"The doctors gave me this," Jun finally managed to speak again and he gestured to the IV in his arm, "and they did say something about resting, but I can't rest, Yuzu. I have six more dates in Seoul and they're all at the Olympic Stadium. They're all sold out, and I really can't let that many people down, you know?"
"Jun," Yuzuru tried to be the kind voice to reason to the younger, "you fainted twice on stage and someone tried to abduct you. I think people will understand if you decide to cancel your shows in Seoul."
"I can't. Not my decision anyway," Jun shrugged. "This is making me uncomfortable though." He tugged on the IV and Yuzuru took his hand to stop him ripping it out.
"It's fine. It's giving you good things Jun. Things you need."
"It's uncomfortable. But they said as soon as the bag is empty, I can go."
Yuzuru nodded and held Jun's shoulders as they sat together in a comfortable silence. The nurses came back in and checked over Jun's IV bag just as Jun's Korean manager came in.
"A moment of privacy please?" He asked, fixing Yuzuru and Keiji with a glare to push them out of the room faster. With them gone, he turned to Jun and golded his arms. "While the doctors say that it is better for you to rest, we really think that, since it's only two more weeks and only six more concerts, so you're going to do them. It wouldn't be good for your public image if you were to cancel all these days. And you have a full day off between this show and the next one, so really I don't see why you're worrying. We'll heighten the security for you so that no fans can sneak on stage again."
Jun nodded, closing his eyes as his head started to throb with the beginnings of a headache. His manager cleared their throat to get him to open his eyes up again and meet the unforgiving ones that flicked to the IV before they went back to Jun's.
"You've lost nearly twenty pounds. Don't blow it now."
Yuzuru and Keiji were allowed to return to Jun's hospital room and, once the IV bag was empty, he was discharged. Yuzuru insisted that he was to accompany the youngster back to his hotel. Positioned between Lotte World and the Olympic Stadium, the hotel was in the perfect location for Jun. After dropping him off at his room, Yuzuru and Keiji returned to their own where Ryuju was waiting for them.
"Are you guys okay?" He pulled them both into a tight hug as he spoke. "I heard about what happened. It sounds terrifying!"
"I'm shocked at how lax the security was," Keiji grimaced as they all sat on the bed together, "and also terrified. Shocked and terrified."
"I'll go sort out some room service." Ryuju gave them his gentle and comforting smile as both he and Yuzuru climbed off the bed. "Are you calling Brian?"
Yuzuru nodded and dialed, leaning against the cool glass of the doors that led out onto the balcony as it rang out. The lights of Seoul shone outside and, if he squinted his eyes and tried hard enough, he could almost see to the darkness beyond them.
"Hello?" Brian's comforting voice brought Yuzuru down from his spiralling thoughts and back to reality. "I saw the news Yuzuru. What's going on? What's happened?"
"It was bad," Yuzuru grimaced. "I don't understand how, but someone snuck in past the security and made it up onto the stage. They tried to pull Jun off the stage midway through one of our songs. And then Jun fainted on one of the other security guards there, one of the legitimate ones."
"His Korean manager won't pick up the phone and I doubt he's letting Jun answer his. Do you know if he's going to do his next six planned shows?"
"Probably," Yuzuru sighed. "Do you think it's wise if I...?"
"I think you should," Brian filled in from where Yuzuru had trailed off. "If you don't think you can perform your best after this, then you should cancel your dates in Japan. They'll understand."
"I know they'll understand, but I hate to let them down," Yuzuru mumbled. "It's for the best, though, right? This is the best decision, isn't it?"
"I think it is, but I understand that you're frustrated."
"Thanks Brian," Yuzuru rubbed his forehead. "Is there anything you can do about Jun, or...?"
"Sadly not. If I could, you know Tracy and I would have done it by now. We just want him to be alright but the conditions of him coming to Canada meant that we aren't in charge. His Korean manager has the final say on pretty much everything. It's frustrating and exhausting, and leaves poor Jun in that hellhole." Brian sighed, frustrated and tired, before he lightened his tone for Yuzuru's sake. "Anyway. Do you want me to book you a flight back here or are you going to stay there for a few more days? You don't have to take responsibility for Jun's situation, Yuzuru."
"I know, but I can't help but feel at least a little like it's my fault."
"Why would it be your fault?" Brian asked him with the tone of a quirked eyebrow in his voice.
"It was at my show—"
"Oh, please. Like you asked for a random fan to come up and try to kidnap him. It's not your fault, Yuzuru, so please don't blame yourself or beat yourself up about it."
"Okay," was all Yuzuru could get out in response. "See you in Toronto Brian."
"Take care."
When he hung up the phone, Yuzuru tossed it onto the bed as the tears began to fall and the dam he'd been using to try and keep everything back broke. Keiji wrapped him up into his arms, cradling his head gently and stroking his hair as he brought him to sit on the bed.
"Pon, what's going on?"
"Ever since he left, it's all gone wrong. Everything."
Jun barely slept that night. Every time he drifted off, his mind was filled with dreams of being dragged off the stage by faceless people. He could feel their sharp nails digging into his wrist like the talons of an eagle piercing the skin of their prey. In his nightmare, he was pulled into a car surrounded by sasaeng fans. He woke up gasping for air and pushing away no one but his mental demons. He ended up sitting by the window, watching the buses and cars speed past. The glow of the city calmed him a little since he'd grown up with the bright lights. The cool glass was sharp but somewhat refreshing, made cooler still by the winter in the world outside. With the duvet from the bed wrapped around his shoulders, he almost drifted off to sleep when the sharp ringing of his phone woke him back up.
"Learn time zones," he mumbled as he groped for the phone and, without checking the contact, answered. "Hello?"
The person on the other end was silent for a second before Jun could hear lots of giggling.
"Hello?" He asked again, unable to keep the exhaustion from seeping into his voice. "Please, if this is important—"
"We're such big fans—"
Jun hung up the phone and dropped it like it was burning. All comfort was gone and he felt more awake than before. Everything seemed to be closing in on him and he curled up tighter, trying to hide from the world and the ones who seemed determined to have him remember them through any means necessary. When they haunted his dreams and his waking moments, how could he forget them?
The next day, he felt like he was in a trance as he practiced for his show, working through the choreography of his dances with several security guards looming around him. On the 9th he had his first show at the Olympic Stadium and his heart raced at a mile a minute when he saw the huge crowd gathering just for him. His makeup artist finished their work just as his manager and the sound technician came over to secure his microphone to his cheek.
"They're all here for you," his manager said, practically glowing with excitement that Jun didn't return, "so don't let them down. Bright smiles. Lots of enthusiasm, and let's smash the first of the last six performances of your tour."
Jun couldn't shake off the sense of dread that pooled in his stomach like he'd just eaten a bag of rocks. His heart started to race as he was given a two minute warning for the start of the concert, and his mouth went incredibly dry. He didn't realise that he was trembling until he felt the firm, grounding hand of his manager pushing him firmly between his shoulder blades.
"Calm down and get out there."
With that, Jun was shoved out onstage and left at the mercy of the fans. The screamed for him, and he felt like he was looking through a fish-eyed lens as he looked out at them. His chest tightened and it took him several moments to try and get himself to talk.
"H-hello Seoul!" Everyone picked up on his stutter and his chest tightened further. He was glad that he didn't have a hand-held microphone as he didn't doubt that he would have dropped it. His breathing was incredibly hard and he hadn't done anything yet. "Thank you so much for coming! How are you all?" He was met with a scream that made his chest tighten further instead of make him happier or more relaxed. "First song you all know, so please join in!"
Always a crowd favourite, Jun and his backup dancers started off the show with Really Really. The crowd were soon clapping along, but the combination of dancing and singing only made Jun's already tight chest and breathing difficulties worse. He somehow made it through the song and fought to try and stop shaking as the screen beside him showed which songs were to come next. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and nausea overcame him when he saw those four words.
Boy with a Star.
Jun tried to keep his reaction strictly internal and he sat down at the piano. The Olympic stadium was filled with a painfully long silence that was broken only by a sharp gasp for breath. One of the staff working the show ran to him to comfort him, but the entire arena was filled with an ear-piercing scream, amplified by the microphone, when they placed a hand on Jun's shoulder from behind. Whispers went through the crowd as Jun was escorted off the stage in the midst of a panic attack and his manager had to explain for him that the concert dates for the rest of the tour were sadly cancelled.
"Hi, this is Yuzuru Hanyu. I'm sorry to everyone who was looking forward to seeing my shows in Japan but, due to recent events, those tour dates are now cancelled. Full refunds will be issued and, if there are any problems getting refunds for transportation that was booked, please send the information to the email address below and it will be sorted for you. I'm so sorry, but, for now, we feel that it is the best and safest course of action. Thank you for your continued support."
The Instagram video was copied and shared to every corner of every social media platform, and the support for Yuzuru, and Jun to an extent, was tainted by the overwhelming anger from certain fans. Keiji didn't dare check the comments on the Instagram video as so many were filled with slurs thrown towards him and Yuzuru. Back in Canada, when a devastated Jun had come back to the club in early December in floods of tears, Brian didn't tell him about the piles of hate letters and death threats that he and Tracy had shredded. Instead, Tracy opened her arms to comfort the artist while Brian helped him plan a media silence.