"I know you'll do great things.."
CHAPTER TEN
"I know you'll do great things.."
CHAPTER TEN
"I know you'll do great things.."
Terra never left her room after that.
While the Titan’s wished they could focus all their attention on the matter at hand, lesser evils still continuously threatened the city. Between peace times the team tirelessly worked with their many contacts to find Slade, hoping the news would appease their distrustful friend. When duty called though, they left to fight to protect their precious city. Unless things were serious, Beast Boy would stay behind to make sure Tara was safe even if she Ignored him.
This was an inconvenience for her.
On the one hand, she was somewhat relieved that they weren't totally stupid and didn’t leave without precautions for her safety.. but this really didn't help with her developing escape plans. How could she sneak around the tower and mark all the cameras and patterns of their drones if she was left with this talkative stalker?
Although, a realization hit her like a train one day when Beast Boy's usual three knocks resounded on her door.
"Tara? Hey.. Are you hungry? I got some foooo~ood ." Beast Boy leaned towards the door with an announcing singsong voice hoping it would entice her to come out.
Oh yeah, since she never left her room, food was harder to come by for her. Beast Boy must've figured that out and took it upon himself to bring her meals every day. She usually ignored him, but would eventually lose the battle with her hunger and take his offerings after he left.
The silence was his only company as the door remained shut. She forced her troubled mind to believe maybe he was taking pity on her, but it was something else, something more meaningful. Regardless, the riled and fragile emotions of the stressed teenager reared its ugly head as she snapped at him.
"Stop bothering me!" She snatched a pillow close to her and flung it as hard as her noodle arm could throw it. The sound caused the man to flinch. The guilt ate him up alive. She barely refused to talk to him, but he would rather hear her harsh words than nothing at all.
Beast Boy huffed, gripping the trey. "There hasn't been much progress on Slade yet. We're still working on it, we will find him.. Also, the others are worried about you– but I'm sure you knew that.." He paused, hanging his head mildly. " I know they seem intimidating to you, but just like I do, they want you to feel safe... and you obviously don't.. Look, I know you don't think you need us, but you aren't alone. Not now and not ever again. So you can stay in your room if you want but I'm going to keep coming back here every day until you get that through your head, even if you hate me for it! Because I care about you… Uh! I-I mean, We care about you.."
Rolling her eyes, she blew a raspberry. Then upon reflection, she turned her pensive eyes to the door. "..." Tara rested her hand over her stomach as a faint growl twisted her insides. With pouting lips she sniffed. "..Fine." She exasperatedly threw over her red bathrobe and stepped to the door letting him see her this time.
The gesture was an obvious shock to the slightly shorter teen, but a large grin slithered over his features warmly. "I hope you like it. Usually, Cy would cook the meals, but I made this one especially for you."
"..Aren't you vegetarian?"
"Sure am!"
"..So no meat at all?"
"Not an ounce."
Tara starred in blunt disappointment at the sausage, biscuit, scrambled eggs, and milk knowing full well it wasn't what it looked like, but her hunger won out as her stomach decided to perform a mating call right there in the open.
Following a terrible, long silence, Tara squealed and snatched the tray, hurriedly retreating into her sanctuary.
Beast Boy couldn't help the laughter once he processed what happened.
"Sh-Shut up!" Mortified, Tara slid down the door with a whine.
"Sorry! Hahaha!" Laughing until his sides hurt, he was now resting on the floor against her door. He sighed heavily. "So, tell me what you think. This is the first time I've ever cooked anything for you. I'd like to hear if you like it."
The food looked well made, it just smelled weird. She was reluctant to try the carefully crafted cuisine, but her stomach pains forced the fork in her hand to take a bite.
Her eyes flashed surprised, it wasn't half bad. A little bland than what real meat tasted like, but she continued to eat it until her appetite was sated. He cared about her… Like a lot..
Then it hit her.
'I think he was more than friends with her..'
"Oh!"
Beast Boy had had some kind of fascination for her ever since they met. It was almost like he had a crush on her. He had dragged her all over kingdom come hoping it would at least regain one memory. He risked everything for her to save her life and even left his friends to fight alone just so he could. No matter what she said, or what she did to lose him, he always came back to her like a lost puppy. His obsession with her could be used to her advantage.
But did she really have to do that to him? He had been nothing but kind and loyal. Surely there wasn't anything he had done that would--
'Slade was right.. You don't have any friends .'
She shuddered, the flash image of his cold, narrowed eyes staring daggers through her heart. His kind persona shattered as he turned his back to her.
That's right, even he had the potential to toss her aside.
That was that then.
"So?" His pensive question through the door snapped Tara from her thoughts.
"Oh, yeah, hum, it's great!" She said, staring at the empty plate.
His ears twitched, "R-Really?"
"Uh, yeah! Actually, maybe if it isn't much trouble, you could make my meals more often?"
"Do you mean it?" He sounded excited, it made her squirm, allowing pieces of her hair to fall between her eyes. She blew them away, to no avail.
"Sure! I'll even come out, but only when the others are gone.. You're the only one I can trust." Throwing that line in for good measure, she stood up to unlock the door.
When it slid open, the unexpecting boy plummeted onto the floor. His embarrassed expression stared up at her for a moment before she knelt down and bopped his nose, giggling.
"No matter what, you always seem to make me smile."
That put him at ease, he sat up and nodded at her. "I'll try my best to keep you smiling then."
...
It was decided then.
While the Titans were out stopping crimes or searching for Slade and the Thing, Tara would stay with Beast Boy and listen to his many, many, many jokes and stories. To his credit, he always put a smile on her face, even if most of the stories weren't totally funny, his cute giggles after telling the story was what triggered her to do the same.
But it wasn't all games. Inside her mind, she was plotting and scheming.
While Beast Boy blabbered on and on, Tara made sure to pretend like she was actually listening to his many tangents about video games and some kind of weird adventures surfing the channels with a fanboy villain. Before he could wear her down though, Tara intervened.
“While that's.. Uhm.. fascinating, I was actually hoping I could ask you something,” she said. She took his hand that was pointing at the various buttons and mechanisms on the computer into her gentle palm. The motion caused Beast Boy to halt in his tracks as all his focus was on her. She averted her eyes, seemingly nervous, “Just.. How safe am I here?”
“Huh?”
“I’m just worried. What if.. What if Slade does come for me? I’m defenseless..and I don’t know what would happen if-”
Beast Boy shook his head, comfortingly wrapping his fingers around hers. “Nothing would happen to you, not while I’m still around.” His brave, determined eyes hurt Tara, more than she wanted to admit, but she continued on with her facade.
“While I know you’d do all you can to protect me.. What if Slade defeats you. What if he does get to me? I’m so scared.” she forced herself onto his chest, clinging to him. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”
“Ah..” Blushing furiously, Beast Boy shyly squirmed.
“Isn’t there.. Any sort of first defense? Say, alarms? You know, so we know he infiltrated the tower? And we could get to safety. Together.”
“Oh.. y-yeah! There’s tons of those! Lots of em!”
“Oh. Good! Maybe you could show me all of the security protocols. I’d feel so much better.”
“ Ooh.. I’m not sure if that's a good idea. Robin said-…” slightly pulling away from her, Beast Boy shrunk into his shoulders with a sharp breath. It wasn’t long before his attention was taken again by an angelic hand gliding over his already burning cheeks. The hand pulled his face to look at her own. She was so close, he could make out every last lash of her perfect, blue eyes. He was shook.
“I understand.. An outsider like me wouldn't be allowed to know that stuff.. Maybe I should just stay in my room then.. I’ll be safe there..” with a disappointed drull, Tara began to stand, only for Beast Boy to grab her wrist.
“Tara, wait!” she smiled, then turned to him again, only with a much more hurt expression.
“What is it?”
“You’re not an outsider, not at all.. If it really means that much to you, I can show you.”
Beaming, Tara threw her arms around him. “Oh! Thanks, Beast Boy! Seriously.” As his arms timidly wrapped around her slim waist, Tara grinned mischievously, “You have no idea how much that will help me..”
Beast Boy shivered, a squeal leaving his body, and maybe a bit of his soul as well, before being sucked back into his body by her suddenly pulling away from him. With a quick motion, she had fixed the strands of hair that had fallen over her eyes.
And as promised he did show her everything the next few chances they got while the heroes were out, right down to the very last camera.
All the while Tara continued to fake her smile, her attitude, her entire being. The very idea of lying to him after he had done so much and even risked the wrath of the other Titans all for her sake left her feeling just as villainous as Slade. However, it was the only way she could be safe. It was too dangerous to stay here any longer.. All the thoughts that she could possibly make a life here, that she could ultimately let herself be friends with them were all clouded by that single memory caught in her mind's eye.
“ Slade was right.. You don’t have any friends.”
It was all the proof she needed to finalize her decision to leave. What was the point of trying if the one person she thought would always be there for her could just decide he didn't care anymore, that she wasn’t worth the effort anymore? The risk was too high.
And remembering that helped dull the pain of lying to Beast Boy. After all, he had already lied to her before.
The evening had set in Jump City. With the final check of the security system, Cyborg yawned heavily. "Alright, y'all, I'm heading to bed." He waved nonchalantly as he made his way out the door. Beast Boy, Robin, and Starfire wished him goodnight.
"I think I'll head to bed too," Robin said after finishing washing the dishes from dinner.
"I shall accompany you!" Starfire beamed.
"Alright, goodnight you guys!" Beast Boy waved to them as the door shut after their departure.
He sighed, placing the broom back in the closet after his chore was done and decided to head back to his room too, bored. Before he made it to the first step, however, a short chime whistled from the computer system. His elf-like ears twitched hearing the sound.
It was unusual to receive a message this late in the night. When he thought it over it hit him that maybe one of their contacts had picked up a lead on Slade or perhaps the creature under his control. With that in mind, he bounced to the computer and typed away at the keyboard.
"Oh." He blinked seeing it was a message from Titans East. "Her mom sent a message." Under his breath, Beast Boy stated this aloud. He nodded to himself. "Okay."
Meanwhile, Tara was quickly stuffing her bag with everything she brought, which wasn't much, and some food she had packed away from Beast Boy's meals.
Tonight was the night she was planning to leave. She wanted to find Titans East so she could be with her parents, but the journey would be long. On foot, it could take up to three days. Of course, she had thought about stealing a car, she had taken lessons from her old man and school, but hadn't gotten her permit yet. She knew it was a solid option though.
She stood, swinging the satchel over her shoulder. The bulking bag accidentally knocked off the battered heart-shaped box onto the floor. She flinched, then groaned leaning down to pick it up, then paused.
An urge struck her. She picked up the box and held it in her hands, unable to make her mind up if she wanted to take it or not. The whole thing would be too big to fit but the hinge was already broken. She snapped the lid off and carefully wrapped the already cracking mirror into her bag with a shirt and she also decided to take the picture too. Unsure why she couldn't leave it behind, she brushed it off, deciding to deal with it later.
Suddenly, there were three knocks.
She froze, her blood running cold. What was he doing here this late?? What could he possibly want?? She cautiously turned her sharpened eyes to the door unable to speak.
"Tara, are you up?" He listened for a reply, but none came. "There's a message for you, from your mom."
"What?? Ghu--!" Tripping over herself, Tara toppled to the floor.
"Yeah, she sent you a video. It's pulled up for you in the living room, no one else is down there so it's safe for you."
"..I'll uhm.. Be there in a bit." Stuttering Tara bit her lip hoping that he would leave. Her wish was granted.
Tara rushed to the door hearing the footsteps of her last friend vanish down the hall. After a dumbfounded moment, Tara released the lock on her door and took her first step out. With a timid glance, she looked left to right. The hall was dark, but the dimmed hallway lights helped her traverse the maze-like halls.
The main door was finally in her sights. When the doors opened her eyes were blinded by the bright light of the extravagant television screen providing the only light in the room.
The symbol of their team casted its ever-present shadow over her. With a curt click of her tongue, Tara sneaked to the fridge retrieving water bottles, swiftly stuffing them in her bag, but as she made her way to the exit the nagging feeling stopped her.
Her mother's message. Even though she was on her way to Titans East in the first place, she needed to hear her mom's voice. Maybe it would give her all the strength she needed to keep going.
With that in mind, Tara delayed her plan and carefully sat down on the couch with the remote firmly in her hand. She turned her attention to the screen anxious to see her mom. With a click of a button, she was greeted by the smiling face of her mom as the video played.
'Am I recording?..' She was definitely not one for technology, Tara knew that. It made her chuckle despite herself.
"Yeah, you're live, Miss Markov." A patient, male voice stood from behind the camera.
"Oh! Okay, uhm. Hi, sweetie. I just want to make a little video telling you that we arrived safely. They've been nothing but helpful and supportive throughout this whole ordeal. I hope you're doing alright." Tara felt the sting of her tears forming behind her eyes. She shook her head, trying her best to keep her brave face. "You've always been such a brave girl. Even after waking without memory, you kept going without any remorse.. but maybe this time it would be better if you open your heart to these people. If you won't listen to them.. I hope you'll listen to me. I want you to be happy. Right now it's difficult but if you let them in, maybe you can."
"..Mom.."
"Ah! The camera's dying. Shoot, I forgot to charge it!" The man from behind the camera abruptly shook it, seemingly checking the battery life. For a moment she saw his face. A handsome man with shoulder-length, black hair, and eyes to match.
"That's alright! Tara, I love you! I'll see you soo-" the connection was cut to black.
Stunned, Tara stared in disbelief at the screen. Even her mom wanted her to make friends with these people. She didn't even seem the least bit angry at them for ripping them away from their life. Had she been too hard on them?.. Maybe even harder on herself?
So what if she was Terra? That was the past, a past she had one memory of for that matter. These people, the Titans , wouldn't stop living in the past. She wasn't Terra anymore, and even though she might have wanted a relationship with them deep down, the thought of anyone looking at her the way Beast Boy did in her vision was all the motivation she needed to never try.
"Sorry, mom.. But I can't stay here. I'll have to disobey you this time." Whispering firmly, Tara quickly made the trek up the stairs, through the door, down the long, red carpet hallway, and out the final door.
Salty, fresh sea air collided with her skin and the relief of being out was exhilarating. She excitedly ventured down the rocky terrain until reaching the edge of the island. She paused as the sinking feeling of her plan not being totally thought through hit her like a slap on the face.
"Oh.. Right, duh! I'm on an island." Tara could swim fairly decently. But she wasn't sure about being able to swim that far.
She shook her fist at her side, tearing at every option she had at this point. Should she cut her losses and think of something else? But she had come too far, there had to be a different way off.
"Okay.. Powers.." She cautiously raised her hands. "If you really exist.. Then help me.." With one hand outstretched to a loose rock on the end of the island, she closed her eyes with struggling grunts. She clenched her teeth, speaking through her strain, "Come… on.. rock! ..Budge!" Her hand started to strobe a bright yellow, and just when she thought the connection was made a burst of energy erupted, flinging her back on her side.
She hissed, cradling her shoulder when the pain set in, "What the hell..!" Bitterly staggering to her feet she raised her hand to try again until a voice froze her in place.
"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye?"
Caught like a deer in the headlights, Tara's expression soured. "..How did you know?" She turned to face Beast Boy.
"I know you take me for an idiot.. And you'd be sort of correct...but I'm not as dumb as you think." He crossed his arms. "You were lying to me."
Tara clicked her tongue, briskly turned from him. "You can't stop me! I'm going to get off this damn island, you can't keep me locked like a prisoner here! I want to be with my mom, you have no idea what it's like not having her with me."
His ears lowered for a brief moment. "I don't.. Huh?.." He sighed, shaking his head. "You aren't trapped here. We're trying to keep you safe. Think this through." He began to carefully walk to her with an outstretched hand. "It's dangerous for you to be out of our sight."
"If it's so dangerous-- no.. If I'm so dangerous, then maybe it's better if you get rid of me. Get me out of your precious city." Tara kicked a small chunk of rock, sending it flying until gravity swallowed it into the sea. With a frustrated groan, the blonde beauty plopped down with her arms hugging her knees to her chest. ".. Terra already betrayed you guys. Why should you care what happens to her replacement? All this effort.. It's just wasted on me. "
Beast Boy blinked his eyes unsure what to say. He could tell something else was on her mind but he decided to just sit down a few feet away next to her and lean back on his hands.
"..Do you still feel sad around me?"
It was a question that took him a moment to process. When his widened eyes met her own, all he could see was distress in hers. He breathed a raspberry, casting his gaze to the horizon of the moon glittering over the sea. He shyly groans.
"I'd be the one lying if I said no."
"..I caused so much pain. You still feel it. I mean she-..well we both were awful to you. She tried to kill you. She broke your heart. And I led you on and lied. It's better if I leave. That way you won't be burdened by your need to help me."
"Tara.." He watched her stand with her hands gripping tightly into fists.
"Look whatever, okay? Let's just go inside now." She curtly turned, heading back to the tower, but Beast Boy stopped her with something unexpected.
"Let's go out." Stretching nonchalantly, Beast Boy stood up. Tara raised a brow as he skipped to be in front of her, his hands in his pockets. "I think you need to get out of the tower for a while. You've been stressing out ever since you got here and I want to help you feel better."
Tara shyly shuffled, "But.. The Titans.. Won't they get mad if you do that? I mean the whole reason I'm here is because, "it's dangerous".."
"Let me deal with them." The green changeling held out his arm to her as if he were a prince offering his lady to dance, "Do you trust me?"
That sentence strangely gnawed at her. She glanced around, thinking it over, then locked eyes with him. "Mhm," She nodded softly, reaching out for him.
"Alright! Up we go!" He gracefully twisted her on his back and transformed into a pterodactyl, inciting a terrified squeal from the lady. She groped his neck tightly, fearful of falling off his beastly form as his powerful wrings sprung into action.
The cool wind of the evening brushed her pale skin as she was whisked away through an endless sky of diamonds. When Tara dared to open her eyes, she immediately forgot all her woes as she stared out over the horizon. Up in the clouds she reached to touch the elusive mist with her hand. A hesitant smile turned into a glimmering grin as she held both her arms up in the air gleefully whooping when Beast Boy suddenly took a dive, spiraling.
When he flew straight again it was just above the water, close enough that his tripod feet were skidding along the edge. Tara peeked over to see her reflection in the purple ocean. She carefully laid on her stomach, reaching down to run her hand along the ripples. It was freezing, but the smile on her face was all she could see reflected back at her. No terrifying reflections of past regrets, just her and her best friend.
Inching back to lace her arms around Beast Boy, Tara’s eyes fell, snuggling against him. Beast Boy was glad she couldn’t see his face because green wouldn't be the only color there.
When they finally landed, it was on a small ridge overlooking the city. He carefully rested his feet on the grassy land and morphed back to a human being, with her piggybacking on his back. Tara continued to cling to him, lost in a daydream, and while he wouldn’t have minded staying like that, he could feel his heart thrumming in his ears by this point, and it wasn’t just from the show off flight.
After soaking up the warmth of her embrace, he finally cleared his throat. “Hey, we’re here.”
“Mhhmm?” she raised her head to look over his shoulder, “Oh!” sporadically she pushed away from him, flopping to the soft grass. Beast Boy cringed before she held up a thumbs up, “I’m good!”
…
“This place is beautiful,” Tara stated. It had been a little over thirty minutes since they had sat down on the grass, feeling the salty breeze kiss their faces every once in a while.
“Yeah, you brought me here once. I like to come back every so often.” He turned his head to her, seeing her huddled up with her knees to her chest. “You cold?”
“Mm.” she shook her head. “I’m fine.”
There was silence again.
Beast Boy crossed his legs and placed his hands in his lap, blowing air. Rolling his lips into his mouth, he scrapped his noggin for anything he could talk to her about, but Tara was the one to speak first.
"Beast Boy?"
"What's up?"
"I need to tell you something, something important."
"Sounds pretty serious… Does it have to do with why you freaked out so fast the other night?" Tara meekly nodded, her bangs shadowing her face. Beast Boy scratched at his head, ":Look, I know it bothers you so you don't need to force yourself. I promise, whatever it is, I won't be angry or push you away."
"You need to hear this." She spoke louder, more firm. He lost his voice, dryly swallowing. "..I.. Remembered something."
Beast Boy's eyes sparkled, "What?! Are you for real?? What was.. it--?" Her half teared expression shut down all the excitement he had. Taking a more serious tone he grimaced, "I take it isn't a pleasant memory."
Tara bit down on her bottom lip resisting the urge to cry, "I think.." She looked up at him and saw how enduring his face was, full of compassion and care, but when she blinked the image of the memory of his scowling sneer replaced it for a moment until she hurriedly blinked again.
"Tara?" He saw the fear flash in her eyes so he quickly swept her hands into his. "You're okay. You're safe. And loved. I'm your friend, you can tell me anything."
He meant it. She could see it clearly in his eyes. With a shaky, calming breath, Tara cleared her mind, then captured his eyes in hers. "I think it was the night I betrayed you." She could see behind his brave face, there was a hint of guilt that had seeped through.
"Tell me more."
"There was this hall of mirrors. I was surrounded by my own image, I was horrified and disgusted. I was crying and apologizing, but you were angry.. So angry. And when I reached out to you..you said.."
'Slade was right, you don't have any friends.'
Ashamed, Beast Boy turned his head away. The memory of that night was seared into his psyche permanently. It was one of his biggest regrets in his short life. However, with Tara starting the arduous journey of rebuilding her memory from scratch, he felt he could hopefully rectify it.
He breathed through his nose, calming his racing heart until all he could hear was the chilly noises of the bustling city across the bay. He turned back to face her, determined.
"Can I ask what made you remember?" He was afraid asking her would upset Tara more, but she seemed somewhat relieved that was his response. He eyed her carefully as she dug through her satchel, pushing away at the items inside until landing on the one she sought. She pulled out a shirt, carefully holding something. "What is that?" Curious, he asked.
"..The thing that made me remember.. But please don't get mad.."
"Huh? Why would I be--.." She unfolded the shirt, presenting the cracked mirror of the box he made for her. At first his features drug sullenly, then he sighed exasperatedly. "I see."
"..Sorry.. I didn't mean to break it. When I looked at my reflection inside, that's when I started to remember that night. I dropped it by accident."
"Wait, you were going to take it with you even though it was broken?" The realization made them both blush fiercely.
"Mm! No! I mean! Uhm.. Yeah, well, it seemed like a waste not to." She settled on that lame excuse before puffing up her cheeks with a sniff.
The silence was so thick it could be cut with a knife. That was until the beast boy suddenly howled, startled the girl.
"Aaaaaa! This sucks! Why couldn't your first memory be something good?? Like when you stopped your first bad guy? Or when you joined the team??... Or.. When we met.." In his fit, the teen flung back onto the grass staring at the starry sky. The wind brushed over him. "I think I get it now. You were afraid that we were lying to you, right? You remembered me turning my back on you so it made it harder to trust us."
"Maybe the reason why I remembered the betrayal was because the old me is telling me not to get cozy with you guys. 'Just be normal'. That's a chant that has been stuck in my head ever since I woke up with amnesia... I've done horrible things." She slowly lifted her hands, staring at her palms in disgust. Beast Boy softly watched her, listening. "I destroyed Jump City. I tried to murder the only family I ever knew. I trained and apprenticed with the most disgusting human being alive. After all of that.. Why should you forgive me? As Tara, I'm a blank slate.. I can start again.. Like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. I'm reborn. I can make new friends. I can have a new family, but everyone was so warm and inviting to me even knowing who I was.. I can't understand why you still care! I.. See you all laugh together and be a family. I wanted that! I wanted to be a part of it all! To Actually be a part of something bigger than me, to belong with you all there! But I'm scared to even try again."
"..Why are you scared?"
Tara clapped her hand over her delicate lips choking back a silent sob. She clenched her eyes shut, "I don't want to be alone again!" The gravity of that statement bursting from the helpless girl caused Beast Boy's heart to swell. "I'm terrified I'll screw it up again! All my life that's all I've done is fuck up every chance at a new life! Why should this time be any different? How can I trust myself to make the right choices?!" Slapping her hands over her eyes, Tara cried out, agonized. "It's too much! I don't deserve any of your kindness! I don't deserve anything at all! I should be hated!" The images of her peers crumbling in fear or hatred at the very thought that she was Terra flashed in her mind. "Everyone already does! But I hurt you and the Titans most of all, I deserve your wrath but you embraced and welcomed me with open arms and I can't accept that!"
"..." Sitting up, the beast boy stared at the sobbing blonde. His eyes were sharp with guilt and understanding. It was hard to breathe, watching her twitch and whale. He could tell she had been holding it for a long time, and for a split moment, Tara and Terra became one in the same again.
He deeply inhaled, then slowly let it out. "Yes. You did do awful things. You did try to annihilate us. You did join Slade. But you also did the right thing in the end. You are capable of making the right choice. I know you are. Don't you see? We all care about you, you are our friend, and you always will be. I pushed you away once, and for you, that was the final straw. I'm just as at fault for what happened back then." Beast Boy crawled up to her trying to pull her hands from her face so he could dry her tears, but she jerked away from him.
"Stop it!! All you've ever done since we met is blame yourself! Stop caring about me! I need you to hate me! Maybe then I can live with all I've done to you!"
"I can't do that."
"Why?!" Screaming, Tara threw her hands from her face exposing her puffy eyes and drenched, swollen cheeks. She was at her limit. He looked her dead in the eyes, and smiled, swiping his thumb over her face.
"Because, I love you."
Nothing could compare to the shock that rattled Tara to her core. It was like the world stopped on a dime. Suddenly the sounds of the far off city ceased to exist as a ringing in her ears replaced it. She couldn't process her feelings.
"...B..Beast.. Boy.." He'd still loved her after all that's happened between them? She shook her head running her fingers through her hair, hanging them on her scalp, "It's too much. I'm too confused."
"Ah! No! Please, I wasn't asking for an answer!" He viciously shook his hands, whining embarrassed. "I-I just wanted you to know you would always have me by your side." he poked his indexes together, shyly lowering his eyes, speaking more quietly. "Just because I might be sad that the Terra I know is gone, doesn't mean I don't like the one I know now. I'll support you. I'll never turn against you again. That was all. I don't want you to tell me your feelings, I know you're not ready for it."
She seemed a bit calmer from his clear up. With the burning over her cheeks becoming less prevalent, Tara shuffled to wipe her face with the sleeve of her sweater. She sniffles, peaking over her wrist to look at her friend who was now staring out at the city, giving her space. For a moment, his confession rang in her ears continuously as she pulled herself together.
'So.. I was right ..' She found herself thinking. 'He really does love me. I don't get it..'
“...I’m sorry, Beast Boy. I lied to you and toyed with your emotions. I was selfish, anxiety polluted my judgment.” she scoffed, “In the end, I’m letting history repeat itself all over again." She bit the nail on her thumb, clenching her jaw in hopes of preventing a sob, "I really am the worst."
Picking at the grass, Beast Boy fondly smiled. "..That day.. In the park when you approached me for the first time since we reunited?" Tara kept her eyes to the ground as Beast Boy continued, "I told you about the past, and how it all began .. But I never got to say how I never wanted it to end like that. If nothing else.. I wanted us all to live in the tower, stopping crime and be a family, happily ever after.." He sighed distantly, laying his chin on his knees. "If only."
"..You and I have a lot of baggage to work through," Tara pulled her legs up to her chest once again, cautiously glancing from him to the sparkling ocean. "I think we should start over, for real this time."
"Let's make a promise then." Beast Boy turned to Tara holding out his pinky. His face was too cute as she pushed her hand to his without much thought.
"Okay.."
"Let's promise to never keep secrets from each other ever again."
It was a simple request, but one that carried weight to it. Their past had been nothing but lies, trauma, and heartbreak. No more did she want to hurt him. Through it all, Beast Boy had stood by her side, loved her even at her worst, and she truly believed that if anyone could save her from herself, it would be this boy. With that resolve, Tara tightly slid her delicate pinky over his, as if sealing the promise.
"I also promise to come to you when I'm overwhelmed, when I feel like the walls are closing in on me, or when I feel like the world is against me. After everything you've done for me, Beast Boy, I'd trust you with my life, and I hope that I can make up for all the horrible things I've done."
It was a simple smile, but from him, it seemed to sparkle just as brightly as the water did reflecting off the moon. "Then it's settled!"
Meanwhile, just over the hill, an ominous, shadowed figure of a human silhouette and the loyal creature crouching just behind them, kept their vigilant eyes on the two young teenagers with a high tech night scope. On his stomach, laying in the grass with stealth on his side, the man raised his hand to touch the communication device in his ear to contact his master.
"I've got them in my sight.. sir ." Adding some sarcasm at his master's title, the young man continued to hold position, except now loading the stun rifle full of tranquilizers. "Shall I go ahead with the next phase?" He impatiently aimed the gun at Tara, finger already itching to pull the trigger.
"No. " Came the growling voice on the other end.
"But-- Sir, I have her in my sight! I could get her right now !"
"Patience. I realize you want to save those precious to you, but time is on our side. We can't collect her.. Not yet ."
The gun rattled in his hands, clenching his teeth in anger with a harsh breath.
"Don't do anything rash. You know what will happen ." The warning paused his crusade.
The man’s eyes flashed fearfully and he quickly threw the gun down turning to face the stagnant creature as if checking to see if it was okay then sighed shakily, hanging his head in obedience. "Yes.."
"Yes, what? "
His nostrils flared, shutting his eyes tightly in anguish. "Yes, sir." …..
Back below on the cliffside of the ocean, Beast Boy threw his arms over each other with a satisfied grin, happy to finally have Tara on his side.. "And also, no more apologies! Starting tonight, we're friends."
Tara beamed, delighted to hear the excitement in his voice. After a moment of quiet, Tara suddenly stood to her feet throwing her fist in the air. The motion startled the shape shifter beside her, inciting a grunt. "I'm going to give this everything I've got! I'll train until my fingers bleed if I have to!"
With his jaw slacking, Beast Boy blinked his forest orbs, "So you'll try to learn your powers?" Her confident smile was all the answer he needed. Beast Boy burst out laughing, then he stood up too, mimicking her, "Hell yeah! You'll be the best geoforce user on the earth!"
Tara breathed a calming sigh, placing her hand from the air over her heart tenderly. "I'm going to do this, I have to for myself. I've got to keep fighting. I'll figure out who I used to be, and I'll work hard to figure out who I want to be. "
Beast Boy pats her on the back, "Whatever you decide, the Titans, and I, will support it through and through." Beast Boy yawned, patting his mouth, then stretching his arms above his head. "We should head back. It'll be hell if the others find out we're gone."
A look of guilt crossed her features, "I'll take the hit for it!" She boldly held up a fist. "I'll make sure they know you were just doing your job and keeping me safe!"
"Haha, it's fine, I broke the rules too. We can share the blame. I'm sure they won't be too upset.. I hope.." He ran his hand over his pockets unsurely then grazed something bulking from the right pocket. His face lit up in realization. "Oh, yeah!" He swooped his hand inside and removed a silver comb shaped like a butterfly. "Here." He held it out to her.
Tara locked her eyes on the seemingly harmless object, but oddly felt drawn to it. It also made her shift uncomfortably. "That's mine." She blurted, knowing this feeling of discomfort all too well. She felt it when she used her powers, when she found that picture, and she felt it now.
Beast Boy squinted his eyes, "Yeah, it is." He sounded surprised but the look in her eyes told him the answer to his question already so he swallowed them. "I was going to use it as a last resort if I couldn't convince you to stay. I had a whole speech and stuff about how it's never too late to start over and junk, but I won't be needing it now."
Tara hesitated. She wanted that comb, like it whispered to her although she couldn't tell if what it had to say was good. When she finally did take it, it was as if a shock of electricity went through her. Her whole hand tingled all the way through to her spine, shivering. Then a voice, almost too faint and gentle to hear, spoke to her in her mind's eye.
'Tara, this is yours now. I'm giving it to you because, even though you can't see it now, you will bloom into a beautiful butterfly, just like this one, and also like it, you'll shine brighter than any of us. .. I know you will do great things..' And that was it. She couldn't see the person talking to her, but this young man's tender words of love and encouragement filled her heart with affection and longing.
A single tear fell from her lid. The distant yells of her friend snapped her back to her senses, inciting a gasp from the girl. Her hand clasped tightly on the comb, unwilling to let it go now. Beast Boy, his eyes sharp with worry, grasped her shoulders waiting for her to tell him what happened. She looked at him, at first as if straight through him, then the light returned to her eyes. She smiled, raising her hands to rest over his, sweetly.
"..Looks like not all my memories are doom and gloom."
A relieved chuckle breathed from his nose as he nodded, softly helping her place the comb in her bangs.
"I'm glad."