Ellie had been off for a while, and honestly, Dina was worried. She only spent time with her and Jesse when she had to, the rest of her day was with Joel.
She thinks Joel knew what was wrong, she'd asked him a few days before.
He'd offered a small somewhat sad smile, offering a shrug.
"Ain't my place to say, kiddo. Don't worry, she's okay."
Dina finds out two days later that she's split up with Cat, and she feels worried for her friend, but also jealousy, which annoys her more than she cares to admit.
Don't ruin your friendship, Dina. Yes, you've broken up with Jesse because of her, but just 'cuz she's gay doesn't mean she's in love with you, too! Does she even know you're bi?
She hangs out with Ellie after the revelation, but can't bring herself to ask. Ellie falls asleep before she does, facing her. Dina can't help but marvel over the way the moonlight gleams through the windows.
… she always takes my breath away.
Dina tries to sleep, rolling over and shutting her eyes. They wake up in each other, Ellie with her arms around her, and Dina's around her waist.
They don't talk about it, other than the normal friendly joking after.
Ellie writes something in her journal, Dina has an urge to read it. She doesn't, that would be an insane breach of trust.
She can't help but be interested, though. A day later on her way to patrol, Dina bumps into Cat. The Asian woman was average height, older than Ellie and with short black hair, tattoos on her arms much like Ellie now had.
"Hey, Cat! How're you?"
The woman gives her a dull look.
"Oh, hi. Having fun with my ex yet?"
A brick hits Dina's chest. At least, she thinks it does. When looking there's nothing there and realises it must've been her shock.
She forgets to answer. Cat scoffs.
"Typical, I knew there was something goin' on."
Dina struggles for words but finds them.
"I don't know what you mean."
Cat stares at the sky to give her strength.
"Read her fucking journal, genius. I peeked, thought the song was about me. Turns out, not only was I wrong, but Ellie is extremely protective of her privacy. When I asked her about it she was so annoyed. Fucking bullshit."
She huffed and walked to the stables, waving a hand over her shoulder.
"Good luck, Dina. You'll need it."
Dina spends her whole patrol thinking about the journal, about what Cat said.
She's toxic, ignore it!
But she can't. Eugene offers her some grass after they get back, which she happily takes. She ignored her sisters when she got back and climbed the treehouse in the back, lighting up and thinking for a while.
Just ask her what Cat meant. Or- talk to her! She's your best friend!
"She's your best friend, Dina. Talk to her."
Who'd have thought I'd be getting relationship advice from my ex?
She laughs and offers him the spliff, he takes a drag and gives it back, coughing until he has a drink.
"I really don't know why you guys like this so much."
Dina shrugged.
"Escapism."
"Oh, so deep."
"Fuck you, man."
Jesse laughs, swigging some beer.
"Already have, you're not into me anymore, remember?"
He's joking, she knows he is. But there's something about his tone which upsets her. She locks eyes and breaths out the smoke.
"Jesse, you know that's not what-"
"Hey, sorry it was a bad joke. I know that's not what's happened."
He holds up his fist for her, she bumps it, smiling fondly.
"She's a great person, and head over heels for you too, man. Just-" he makes a gesture with his hands, grinning to himself, "talk about it!"
She shrugged.
"Maybe. Anyway, wanna hear something funny?"
"Always."
They talk about bullshit and nonsense for the rest of the night, she really enjoys it, and yet Dina can't help but miss someone. Jesse isn't dense, he notices but doesn't mention it.
They're best friends, after all.
Two days later and she's 'round Ellie's house. Dina has tried to be more flirty, to see if there's any difference in her friend. Apart from the same awkward neck rub and red cheeks, there's no difference.
So, Dina takes a gambol.
"I spoke to Cat."
Ellie pauses over the frying pan, taking a breath, and carries on making a pancake.
"Anything interesting to say, or..?"
Dina shrugs, leaning against the counter behind Ellie. The other woman is normally decent at hiding her emotions, but her body is not.
"Yeah, actually. I asked how she was, she asked if I was 'enjoying her ex'."
Ellie was mid flip at the time, and they both looked up to watch as the cake stuck to the ceiling, slowly slipping off and landing in Ellie's frying pan.
The two women share a glance, Ellie click-pointing at her.
"Erm, I'll have this one."
"Yeah, good idea."
They laugh and the awkwardness is gone, for now. It's not until later when the movie is paused and Ellie is getting them a drink from the kitchen, that Dina is thinking about Cat's weird comment.
"I peeked, thought it was about me."
Thought, so who could-
"I don't know why you drink this stuff, you know it's literally named after a drug."
She scoffs and takes her Pepsi.
"That's Coke, this is Pepsi. Shush up and drink your lemon juice-"
"Lemonade."
"A likely story."
Ellie shoves her and sits back in her bed, putting the film on as they return to their previous position.
Which, by the way, was; Ellie with her arm around Dina's shoulders, Dina tucked into her side with her hand on her friend's thigh.
Suddenly Cat's glare came back in her mind.
"Having fun with my ex yet?"
Dina couldn't wait anymore.
"So, what did Cat mean?"
Ellie swallowed her drink, noticeably slower than usual.
"Erm, about you-"
"Enjoying her ex, yeah."
Ellie shrugs, scratching the back of her neck.
"I don't- erm."
Dina sits forward and faces her friend.
"She said she read your journal?"
A scarily dark look dashed across her friend's eyes. She blinks and it's gone.
"Yeah, came home to her reading it."
Dina places a hand over Ellie's clenched fist, the girl relaxes, giving her a thank you in the form of a smile.
"Fuckin' dick."
Ellie laughs, but she's tense now. Dina scolds herself mentally and lies on Ellie's chest. She feels her relax as Dina takes her hand, tracing patterns across her palm and making the hair on Ellie's arms rise.
They don't talk about much after that, finishing the film and falling asleep.
Ellie was in a better mood after that day, but a week later she's nervous again. She's on patrol with Dina, and she's barely talking. Dina knows she's not angry with her, she's done nothing wrong, but it's almost like she can't speak without stammering.
After they get home Dina gives her a hug goodbye to go back to her sisters, when the other woman says something.
"What was that?"
Ellie's all blushed cheeks and nerves, which could be from the summer heat, but she'd been fine all day.
"Erm, can you come to my place tonight? I gotta show you somethin'."
Dina grins, nodding excitedly.
"Sure! What shall I bring?"
Ellie's relaxed now.
"A good attitude!"
"I'm not coming."
She snorts and shoves her.
"Fuck you, I'll see you at six?"
Dina nods.
"I'll be there at six!"
She's there at half five, which Ellie finds hilarious. They sit outside in her garden, around the fire pit which has a steady little flame growing.
An hour later and Ellie is nervous again, Dina can't take it anymore.
"Ellie, what's going on? Is everything okay?"
The woman sighs and stands, she gets something from under her seat and tosses it at Dina. She catches it awkwardly, realising it's the infamous journal.
Ellie sighs and heads to the house.
"I'm gonna get a drink, you can, ah. Go ahead."
The door shuts and Dina stares at the book. She's never ever read one of Ellie's journals. When it was literally thrown at her to read, she still paused.
She told me to, so… do it!
With a deep breath, she opens the book.
The first few pages are from when she's with Cat, and Dina blushes as she reads some details her jealousy didn't need to know. The paragraphs about Cat end pretty soon, they're all about Joel, Dina and Jesse. Oh, and Shimmer. Pages upon pages of the horse, of them.
That's when Dina notices how much is about her, and from the date, Ellie was still with Cat at the time.
Yikes.
She doesn't get her hopes up though. Throughout the journal, there are random lines, lyrics from the look of it. Dina reads over them again and again, taken away with each one.
The last page, the day before she broke up with Cat, that's the one she was most nervous to read.
She does, though.
Star ̶H̶o̶p̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶F̶l̶o̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ Shopping
Wait right here,
I'll be ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ back in the mornin',
I know that I'm not that ̷m̷u̷c̷h̷ ̷s̷p̷e̷c̷i̷a̷l̷ important to you,
But to me, girl, you're so much more than p̶e̶r̶f̶e̶c̶t̶ gorgeous,
So much more than perfect,
Right now I know that̷ I̷'̷m̷ ̷r̷e̷a̷l̷l̷y̷ ̷n̷o̷t̷ ̷w̷o̷r̷t̷h̷ ̷i̷t̷ I'm not really worth it,
If you ̷g̷i̷m̷m̷i̷e̷ ̷(̷?̷)̷ give me time, I can work on it,
Give me some time while I work on it,
Losin' your patience, and, girl, I̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ I don't blame you,
The Earth's in rotation, a̶n̶d̶ you're waitin' for me,
Dina stops reading, there's a gap in the lyrics. She knew Ellie wrote her own songs, but this was more than she expected.
The date at the top told her this was the day after Cat and Ellie broke up.
Joel told me I should just tell her how I feel. I'm scared. I don't want to ruin my friendship.
Dina feels ice down her spine, excitement in her chest and butterflies in her stomach.
I think I'll tell her tonight.
That was the day she made a ceiling pancake.
I didn't tell her.
The night after.
Cat figured it out, I wonder if she will, too?
There's a beautiful picture of Dina, the lines and shading all done with pen, no mistakes in sight. On the page from yesterday night, there are more lyrics.
Star Shopping, Final Bit
The writing is a little jittery, Dina can feel the nerves from the pages.
She's unaware of Ellie behind her, watching, nervously holding her arm behind her back.
This music's the only thing keepin' the p̷e̷a̷c̷e s̷i̷l̷e̷n̷c̷e peace when I'm fallin' to pieces,
Look at the n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason,
A reason to shine, a reason like mine and I'm fallin' to pieces,
Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason.
The lyrics finish. A sentence is circled and underlined below.
Tell her.
The writing ends, Dina turns in her seat, Ellie is still there.
"It- erm. Cat thought it was about her, it- it wasn't. I-"
She can't finish, words being swallowed in her throat. Instead, she just brings forward what she has behind her back, a bunch of pink and purple orchids.
Dina still didn't speak.
"I've been- I've been trying to tell you that I… erhum, like like you, for a while. A-and I've been trying to grow these for just as long. They finally bloomed, I thought hey, that must be a sign to grow a pair and ask! So, here I am, with the- flowers. And you. You haven't said anything."
Ellie's heart was racing in her head, her hands clenched around the flowers, still gentle.
"You… picked your flowers?"
Ellie let go with her bottom hand, showing they were still in the pot.
"No, I didn't want to give you dead flowers, that'd be… morbid, right?"
Donna laughs, stands and accepts the flowers.
"Thank you, Ellie. These are-"
"Fuckin' hard to grow."
"I was gonna say lovely, but okay."
"Oh, well, I guess they're that too-"
Dina decides to bite the bullet, take a leap and walk on the moon all in one go. She leans forwards, and finally kisses her.
Ellie is frozen at first, and for a heartbeat, Dina worried she'd entirely misread the conversation. That's when Ellie's hands find her hips, leaning closer.
Dina pulls away, putting the flowers on the ground and reaching for Ellie again. Now with her hands-free, one on Ellie's chin, bringing the slightly taller girl down to her, her other hand cupping behind her head.
So, Ellie is an amazing kisser.
They separatete, grinning wildly.
"Woah…"
Dina smirked.
"Yeah, let's do that again."
And they do, going inside when the temperature drops and day becomes night. They don't do much sleeping though.
A month passes, Ellie plays her the song she wrote. It's the first time she'd heard Ellie sing, and Dina can physically feel herself falling hard for her.
People aren't shocked when they start holding hands, going on dates and even kissing one or more times in public.
Joel is sitting with them in the restaurant, and when Dina goes to get some drinks he pats Ellie's hand.
"I am so proud 'a you, Ell. She's a lovely woman."
She grins, squeezing his hand back.
"Thank you, Joel."
Dina comes back, and the three fall back into their normal conversation. Dina finds herself looking at Ellie throughout most of the night, the way the warmth of the light makes her eyes shine, her hair glow and her freckles pop.
Dina loves Ellie's freckles.
Her hand is on her knee, thumb drawing silly patterns as they talk. Dina leans her head on Ellie's shoulder.
Walking back to Ellie's home, holding hands, they get talking about anything which comes to mind. That's when she gets an epiphany.
"Ellie-" she stops the girl mid-sentence, Ellie smiles as she faces her, leaning against the door she was just unlocking.
"Yeah, babe?"
Dina is grinning, leaning up and gives her a quick peck on the lips.
"I'm in love with you."
Ellie drops her keys, kissing her longer but somehow softer than ever before.
"I love you too."
They grin and fall into each other's embrace, eventually opening the door, Ellie shutting it behind her with a resounding kick.