"Hey, Wendy-unnie. Why don't we play a game?"
Son Seungwan blinked. Twice. Thrice. She almost dropped the currently tilted green Soju Bottle that she carefully held because of a weird proposition Park Sooyoung had opened.
The tall woman looked at her with mischief. It was a bit amusing, at the same time unexpected. Even after filming her Salty Tour schedule, Seungwan jokingly invited her to join her in a little bit of a private Karaoke break to celebrate her Bonsang nomination, just the two of them since the members are busy for promotions. It was unexpected, as Sooyoung immediately agreed without even changing into a more comfortable clothing, and here she was, looking fresh still and charismatically energetic as always, asked Seungwan to play a game before the start of their mini drinking session.
"...It's kind of scary when you're the one suggesting it, Sooyoung-ah."
"Don't be a killjoy, unnie." Sooyoung smirked. "It will be a safe game! Remember, I have to go back to the dorm, and you have to go back at your home in full piece, too."
"Fine, fine." Seungwan cursed at her soft spot to this Sexy Dynamite. "Try me."
"Let's see... Why don't we ask a question of Yes or No to each other? When it's a yes, the other person gets to drink in one shot."
"...Damn, this looks like a scam."
"The game will be easy! Trust me."
"Ughhh.. I get it. Start then."
"Let's see... I'll start with the basic. Your birthday is February 21."
"...I swear you just want me to get drunk. I know your tactics; you can’t fool me."
"Shhh. Just drink."
Seungwan immediately drank the glass on one shot. It was hot, it was intoxicating... but it was liberating.
She missed the feeling of liberation.
Sooyoung whistled. "Whew, strong as always, unnie."
"Of course. My turn." Seungwan playfully tapped the table. "Your assigned color in Red Velvet is Green."
"What? That's too obvious! Not valid!!"
Seungwan playfully shrugged. "Can't hear anything."
"Ugh." Sooyoung, annoyed, grabbed the shot glass and ended her turn quickly in one shot.
The exchange of turns went on and on until they are on their fourth bottle. The karaoke microphone was left unattended, only echoes of laugh and curses bounced all around throughout the room mixing with the blinding lights to layer the impending excitement. Seungwan felt so alive at that moment. It felt refreshing. She felt like she escaped from the world: from her thoughts, from her job, from her rest, from her emotions.
It was almost midnight. Alcohol is starting to dominate her senses. Her chest and lips are on fire, but she's still on control, of course they're not stopping.
Seungwan lifted their fifth Soju bottle and poured with a much less accuracy compared to her first pour. "Yah, Sooyoung-ah. Don't even dare giving up on me here."
Sooyoung, with her face currently in maddening red, answered with a confidence never been like before. "You're threatening the wrong person, unnie. For your information which I know you already knew, I have the highest alcohol tolerance. Just bring it on."
"Wow, challenger. Let's go to a more intense question then." Seungwan's smirk grew larger.
Of course, she knows how to play this game.
"You have a crush on one of our members."
"What the hell?!"
"'What the hell' is not a Yes or No answer, Sooyoung-ah."
"I hate you." Sooyoung grabbed the shot glass angrily. "You'll regret this, unnie." and she drank the alcohol in one shot.
"I knew it! I swear I knew it."
"Your turn." Sooyoung poured the drink into their glass with intensity for thirsty revenge.
"You're in love with one of our members."
An unexpected flip of tension brewed sneakily within the four corners of the Karaoke room.
"What do you mean-"
"I will not hear anything else from you aside from Yes or No'."
Seungwan flinched. Alcohol is not helping her brain in formulating a coherent answer. She wanted to remain in the safe zone of the game. After all, she went out for a Karaoke night to forget anything tonight to relax.
To be happy even just for a night.
Seungwan firmly believed that one person should act 'mind over matter'. She survived her six years career with that mindset. In an idol industry, she only has herself, her members, her managers and her strong sense of reality.
But right now, it's only her, Sooyoung, and an alcohol. No cameras, no public eyes.
And most importantly, no Bae Joohyun.
That is why, when her hand betrayed her mind unconsciously, she had no strength to fight herself. She can probably pick matter over mind today, only for today, with and beside the person she greatly trusted for almost a decade.
She grabbed the shot glass and gulped everything in one shot.
Just like the spiral of her feelings.
"...Damn."
"Don't say anything."
Seungwan pleaded. Maybe to Sooyoung? Probably to herself.
She was scared. She was starting to fall apart.
After a moment of unspoken understanding, she opened her eyes with a newfound confidence to fight her emotions. "My turn."
She looked at Sooyoung. Her vision was getting hazier as each seconds passed by, ironically, her emotions were getting clearer.
She hated it.
"You like Kang Seulgi but you’re scared of commitments."
"We're going specific now?! What the hell, unnie!?"
"We're getting out of hand, anyway. Might as well go all out." Seungwan shrugged mockingly.
"Damn you, unnie."
"Once again, Yes or No only."
Sooyoung grabbed the glass angrily without letting go of her infuriating glare at the brunette.
She gulped all the drink in one shot with fury.
After drinking, she slammed the shot glass so hard Seungwan almost thought it was going to shatter.
"Damn you to hell, unnie. I was planning to carry that fact up until my last breath."
"How brave of you to assume you can hide anything from me."
"You can't hide anything from me, either." Sooyoung poured the glass with firmness she had never seen before from the woman. "My turn."
Seungwan shivered. She knew how scary Sooyoung is when she is triggered. She had an instant premonition that the next question will be the end of her.
And that premonition, has proven to be true.
"You're hiding your damn feelings from Joohyun-unnie because you don’t want her to feel guilty."
Damn this Park Sooyoung.
"That's too vague of a question, isn't it?"
"We both know what we're talking about here, unnie. Trust me, I know." Sooyoung grimaced. "I know, because I'm feeling it, too. I’m not blind for six freaking years."
She held her breath.
It must be by the way her fists had been clenched the whole time, or probably how her alcohol-induced headache had been throbbing severely after their nonstop drinking session all through the night, there were so many factors, she could've brushed it off.
But it hurts.
It hurts that she can only watch on the sides.
It hurts that she’s not the one beside her.
It hurts that the only thing that she can do right now to relieve the ache of her heart was to drink a glass of alcohol in one shot.
It hurts that one glass is not enough, that she needs to pour another and drank it once again straight up, with a hope that it can, hopefully alleviate the hurt that she had been carrying for as long as she can remember, even just a tiny bit, she begs.
She almost poured another glass when a hand stopped her.
"Unnie, that's enough."
No, it might probably never be enough.
"I just can't understand, Sooyoung-ah."
Seungwan raised her head with a wince. It hurts, and her tears are not helping.
"...I knew it would happen, you know? We all do, since last year. I support them both with all my heart, I really do. I just... When I saw it happened in reality, I… I never thought it… it would hurt this bad."
Sooyoung sighed. She grabbed the defenseless bottle Seungwan tightly held and set it aside. She then scooted forward and gently tugged the sobbing woman’s head to place it on her shoulders.
"It's really like that sometimes, unnie. This is our job. You don't need to keep the pain to yourself."
"...I feel like my feelings are betraying me, betraying her."
"Your feelings are valid, you idiot. Just cry it all out."
Seungwan buried her face to the shoulder of her only emotional pillar for that night.
"Sooyoung, I love her."
"I know."
“I love her so much.”
“I know.”
"It was almost a love story.”
“Unnie…”
“It was almost our love story.”
"I can’t believe our karaoke-slash-drinking session became a night haven for the broken-hearted ones."
Silent chuckles echoed amid their solemn exchange of comfort.
"But don't give up on Love, unnie."
It was such a soothing comfort.
“You and Joohyun-unnie. Promise me.”
She nodded. Joohyun taught her how to love, and she taught her the pain of love. With all these emotions she felt for one person, how can she let her go?
"I won't." She whispered once more to herself, for herself. "I won't."
The tall girl smiled. That was enough.
"I'm glad. Now go sleep now, drunk-head. Since we’re both drunk, I texted Yerim to pick us up here. I’ll stay awake to meet her soon."
Seungwan raised her head to quickly protest but she was quickly shushed.
"No complains. We’ve been under your care so much. Let me do this for you. This night is for both of us."
Oh, her love for her favorite Park Sooyoung.
"Thank you so much, Sooyoung-ah. I’m really grateful."
The last thing she saw before surrendering to the inebriation along with the ache of her heart is Sooyoung's gentle smile, with Bae Joohyun in her mind as always, and with a whisper that would probably give her the good night rest that she needs lately:
"I'll always be here to support you, unnie."