Strength

The four of you were the strongest of the avengers. The strength the four of you possessed was something you had worked on for years.

Natasha had crafted her strength during her many years in the red room. It was easier to be what they wanted if she built up a hard shell, built up another persona, for when they were around. It had taken her years to show another person the real Natasha and even now, only a few people were allowed to know the real her.

Tony’s strength had come from years of being neglected and mental health issues. In a similar play to Natasha, Tony had built up a persona for the media. He had become a carefree playboy and this personality still shone through to this day when he felt threatened.

Bucky had been born in a much harsher time than the rest of you and was then forced to endure seventy years at the hands of HYDRA. His strength was born from a place of survival, to survive and to continue surviving Bucky had to be strong.

You somewhat understood what Bucky went through at the hands of HYDRA. You yourself had lived through years of torture at their hands as they attempted to create the experiments, they’d previously performed on the Maximoff twins. You had to become strong to keep yourself. To keep your mind and self in control.

The four of you were the strongest of the Avengers. It was because of your shared strength that no-one was surprised when the four of you announced you were all together. But everyone’s strength could bend, even the strongest could have moments of weakness.

Any enhanced, whether they had been born with it or had had their genes mutated, would agree emotions could be tricky. Your mood and the emotions you felt could become the deciding factor as to whether or not you would remain in control of your abilities.

You hadn’t been born with your abilities; they had been the result of experimentation at the hands of HYDRA. At first you hated it. You hated the fact you weren’t normal anymore, but over time you grew to love the powers you’d gained and turned your anger towards HYDRA.

It was because of your anger towards the organisation you’d joined the Avengers. A team with people who’d seen similar things to you. People who’d lived through similar experiences. Here, you were normal.

Until you lost control. That was when you lost any sense of normalcy. When you lost control, you lost control. When you had the ability to manipulate and control the weather, and you lost control all hell could rain down.

The four of you and Wanda who had been assigned this mission and despite the shitty conditions and the complete lack of sleep, it had been going fine. It had all been going well until HYDRA had caught wind of where you were camping out.

“I fucking hate these assholes.” Natasha swore as she fired another clip at the agents.

“I don’t think anyone particularly enjoys being around these people, Nat.” Tony said, blasting at the incoming swarm.

“They should just do the courteous thing and die.” You grunted, creating a mini tornedo and throwing dozens of them as far as you could.

It didn’t seem to matter how well the five of you were doing, the hoardes of HYDRA agents seemed to be never ending.

“I really don’t like these men.” Wanda grunted, levitating a large mass of agents and hurling them far away.

“No one does.” Bucky smiled as the five of you met up. “We need to pack up and get out of here.” Bucky said, wrapping an arm around you. “More’ll be back soon.”

“Let’s get out of here. We got what we needed.” Tony agreed. The five of you made your way back to the set-up camp and quickly began to pack up the equipment. “Damn it I can’t find my tablet.” Tony cursed.

“You left it in the tent, hon.” You told him. “I’ll grab it for you.”

“Thanks, darling.” Tony kissed your cheek before you made your way back to the large tent. You’d only just entered the tent when you let out a loud scream. A rouge agent had hidden in your tent and stabbed his knife into your thigh and dragged.

“Y/N!” Natasha yelled, rushing her way over to you as you stumbled out of the tent, holding your hand to your gushing wound.

Natasha made quick work of the man as Bucky and Tony knelt beside you. Wanda was already on the radio alerting them to the situation.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Tony muttered as he attempted to stop the bleeding.

“Tony you’re not helping.” Natasha snapped, breaking out the medical kit as Bucky knelt behind you.

“I can see her bone, Nat. I can see the fucking bone.” Tony said, pressing his hands tighter to the bleeding wound.

“Oh God, I’m going to be sick.” You gagged after catching a glimpse of the wound. Tears began to sting the corners of your eyes.

“No, no you’re just fine. It’s not that bad.” Bucky soothed you as the wind began to whip around you violently.

“I don’t feel so good.” You groaned. A whimper left your throat as Natasha began disinfecting the area.

“You’re fine. Don’t say that it’s fine.” Tony said loudly over the wind which was beginning to grow louder and louder with every minute. You couldn’t see past the tears the glazed over your eyes.

“Y/N, you need to calm down.” Natasha told you without looking up from her work. “You need to stay in control.”

“I can’t. Oh God it hurts.” You whimpered, still looking at the gushing wound. The wind was now screaming as it violently roared to life as tears slid down your cheeks.

“No, no, no.” Bucky said, lifting your chin. “Don’t look at it. Look at me. You need to stay in control, honey. We can’t help you if we’re dealing with a tornado.”

“I can’t, I can’t control it.” You cried.

“Y/N, look at me.” Tony said, moving next to your head. He gripped your hand tightly as you gasped at the feeling of Natasha stitching the wound. “You can do this. You need to breath with me.” He said, putting your hand on his chest.

You gave Tony a nod and attempted to do as he said. Tony’s heartbeat was slightly faster than normal but was still much calmer than your erratic pulse. The whipping wind died down as you clutched his hand.

“That’s it, you’re doing so well, kisa.” Natasha said soothingly. Natasha quickly wrapped the wound tightly and leaned up to kiss your tears away. “That should hold until someone gets down here.”

“Fury said the team will be here soon.” Wanda said, walking over. “I’ll finish packing up.”

“Thank you, Wanda.” Bucky said. “You’re okay sweetheart. You did so well.”

“So, so well.” Tony agreed, squeezing you hand. “You’re so strong.”

“Just close your eyes kisa. We’ll protect you for now.” Natasha murmured, brushing hair off your sweaty face.

“I love you. I love you all.” You mumbled as your eyes began to close.

“We love you too, sweet cheeks.” Tony said, squeezing your hand once more.

Non-reader POV

It had been a quiet day. Well, a quiet day for the inhabitants of the tower at least. There were no explosions coming from Tony’s lab, no building shaking roars from Bruce or yells of annoyance directed at a pranking Clint.

And that day had progressed into a tranquil, quiet, night. A night that for once the four of you had spent together. The four of you had spent a lovely evening together, sharing more than one bottle of red wine, before retreating into the bedroom.

After a couple hours of doing some recreational activities together, the four of you had drifted off to sleep in a tangled pile. An hour later it became clear to Bucky, it was not going to be a peaceful sleep.

Bucky’s dreams echoed with the sounds of gunshots, screams in English and Russian and orders constantly barked at him before pain would ghost through his body.

Bucky let out a distressed noise as he shifted away from his sleeping partners as his dreams took a turn from memory to nightmare.

“Do it.” The voice hissed into his ear.

“Bucky don’t do this!”

“James it’s us! You can fight this!”

“Tin man, you’re not this person anymore!”

I don’t want to do this.

But I have to. Without another thought Bucky raised his gun and with three quick shots he shot each person between the eyes. As the ringing in his ears dulled he suddenly became aware he was in control.

Bucky dropped the gun in his hands and stared at the blood soaking the skin of his hands. Bucky continued to stare at his red stained hands until he saw the blood that was now soaking through his shoes.

His eyes followed the trail of blood until he saw the gruesome sight that sat before him. Two women and a man sat before him, their heads slumped onto their chests and blood pooling around them in a terrifying shade of crimson.

Bucky was compelled to move toward them, needing to know the identities of his three newest victims. He gently grasped the neck of the closest woman to him to revel the face of his Natasha. Her eyes were still opened widely, a bullet hole now featured in the centre of her forehead.

Quickly Bucky checked his two other victims and collapsed to his knees as he saw his other partners with matching bullet wounds.

He’d done this. He’d killed them.

Bucky awoke with a loud, distraught, scream which woke all three of his partners. All three began searching the room for the cause of Bucky’s distress and when they saw no threat they turned to see him struggling to breath.

“Bucky, look at me honey.” Y/N said, holding her hands in front of him. Bucky didn’t handle being touched well when he was like this. “You’re safe here with us.”

“It wasn’t real, James.” Natasha tacked on, mirroring your body language. “It was a nightmare.”

“That’s all it was.” Tony agreed. “Come back to us.” The three continued attempting to calm the man without being able to touch him.

It took what felt hours before Bucky able to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Bucky finally said, dropping his head in his hands.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Tony said, moving closer to him and wrapping an arm around him.

“Absolutely nothing.” Y/N nodded, sliding into Tony’s side.

“You’ve been doing so well, you came out of it much faster this time.” Natasha complimented him, curling into his other side.

“I’m supposed to be stronger than this.” Bucky mumbled quietly, removing his hands from his face. “I’m a soldier.”

“You’re allowed to have a bad day, Buck” Y/N said, taking one of his hands. “You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

“That’s why we’re here.” Tony told him.

“To be strong for you.” Natasha agreed. There weren’t any more words exchanged as the three of you continued to silently comfort Bucky with your presence. You didn’t need words to comfort each other.

Reader POV

Natasha had worked really hard to wipe out the red in her ledger. In her mind she had done too much to ever fully clear the darkness of her past and the red out of her ledger. Her main motivation for joining the Avengers was to help others, to help enough people that she could clear at least a third of her ledger.

But Natasha was a do-er. When it came to missions, Natasha would do whatever it took to ensure the safety of the team, her partners and to make sure the mission was successfully completed. Natasha knew what it felt like to have the blood of innocents on her hands and she didn’t want any of her team to have to go through that.

On missions the rule was, capture and don’t kill but sometimes it was just unavoidable. On these missions you had to kill to survive and it was Natasha, Bucky and Clint that took it upon themselves to protect their team. Their lives and their consciences.

Natasha had been on a mission with Steve and Wanda when it happened. Steve said they weren’t sure who blew the building, but someone did and Natasha believed it was her fault for the deaths of the civilians.

In retaliation, Natasha seemed to have been taken over by something as she made quick work of the Hydra agents around them. Steve and Wanda had barely been able to recover from the shock of watching the building collapse before Natasha had killed them all.

That call had been twelve hours ago. Five hours after that, they had arrived home. It was now eight hours later and the three of you had not seen her since she’d arrived home. Natasha had come straight back up to your floor and locked herself in the bathroom as per her custom after a bad mission.

“Nat?” You knocked softly. “Bucky made dinner for when you’re ready. I’ll leave it in the oven for you.” You said when she didn’t reply but you didn’t leave. “We love you Nat. Just so you know.” You added going to walk away when you heard the click of the lock.

Taking that as a sign, you opened the door to see her sitting on the floor, still in her uniform and fiddling with a dagger. You didn’t say anything as you took a seat next to her.

You counted out five minutes before she shifted closer and stole your hand. You counted another five minutes before she rested her head on your shoulder and you gently began to run your fingers through her hair.

“How can you even stand to be this close to me?”

“Because I love you.” You said, scratching her scalp lightly. “We all love you.”

“Why would you do that? How can you love these blood-soaked hands?” She asked you, pushing her face further into your shoulder.

“I personally love those hands.” Tony announced, coming into the bathroom. He took a seat directly in front of her and gave her a gentle smile as he took the dagger out of her an and replaced it with his own. “No matter the colour.”

“They’re the hands of a murderer, Tony. They’re disgusting.”

“They are not.” Bucky said, entering and joining the rest of you. “They are beautiful and strong and delicate, just like you.” He said, sitting on her other side.

Natasha remained quiet for a minute, mulling over your combined words and actions.

“Can we go have some dinner, please?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah, yeah we can do that.” Tony said, standing. “Do you need a hand old man?” Tony asked Bucky, causing Natasha to let out a quiet chuckle.

“Fuck off, Tony.” Bucky rolled his eyes as you and Natasha stood. While the boys argued you and Natasha led the way to the kitchen, your hand never leaving hers.

Though Steve disapproved of the language he would agree with the sentiment that HYDRA, were fucking dicks. Busy fucking dicks. The dicks seemed to be working 24/7 on projects to destroy the world and to ruin your lives.

“Where do you want to go after this?” Tony asked over the comms. “I was thinking some place Italian.”

“Last time we got Italian; you didn’t stop complaining the entire dinner.” Natasha snorted at the suggestion.

“That’s not fair, Nat.” You chided. “He complained the whole way home too.”

“You're both mean.” Tony whined.

“You two better be nicer to him or we’ll have to hear him complain the rest of the mission.” Bucky chuckled.

“Speaking of the mission, maybe the four of you could start paying attention.” Steve suggested, finally cutting in.

“Speak for yourself punk.” Bucky grunted. “We’re already in the building.” He added as you all met up.

“What exactly are we looking for again, Rogers?” You questioned as the four of you began moving through the narrow corridors.

“The informant said there’s a secret room somewhere where they store their experiments.” Steve told you.

“Yay, secret room.” Tony cheered as you all moved into a large lab.

“Is there an exact location for this secret room, Steve?” Natasha asked him as you began to cautiously explore the area.

“Yeah what book do I pull?” Tony added.

“Sorry, he just said you’ll know it when you see it.”

“Steve, be honest with me. Was Fury the informant?” Bucky asked him, knocking on the walls.

“Fury’s going to kick your ass when he hears that.” Natasha smirked at the brunette.

“Found it.” You chimed as the wall in front of you opened.

“Aww, I wanted to find it.” Tony whined, moving next to you. “When we get back remind me to fit the tower with secret rooms.”

“I thought we would’ve had some of them already?” Clint spoke up over the coms.

“He’s too lazy to do it.” Natasha said as you all moved from the lab and into the secret room. The room itself was small but had five separate doorways lining the wall.

“Oh this is fucking suspicious. F.R.I.D.A.Y. scan for heat signatures.” Tony said.

“Language.”

“Scans show only two heat signatures behind doors one and four.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. told you.

“Buck and I’ll take door one if you two take door four.” You said, the three each giving you a nod. Bucky aimed his gun at the door as you slammed it open.

There stood a man who had to be in his late thirties with a malicious look on his face. His head snapped up at your entrance and suddenly his skin turned into molten lava. He pressed his hand to the ground and a trail of lava shot towards the two of you.

Bucky quickly took a shot to his shoulder and you shot a blast of ice at molten rock. After you extinguished the flames, Bucky rushed forward and knocked the man out.

“Good job.” You smirked, pulling him out of the room. The two of you rushed towards the fourth door and saw an unconscious man in his late teens next to Natasha and Tony, who was out of his suit, who were kneeled on the floor.

“Tony. Tony, look at me.” Natasha said, tapping his face gently. “Come on Tony focus on me.”

“What’s going on?” You asked her, kneeling next to her.

“The dick over there has Wanda’s powers.” Natasha said, still tapping Tony’s face. “Come on Tony, we’re right here.”

Tony let out a loud gasp as his eyes suddenly focused and began darting around the room.

“Tony, breathe it’s us. You’re okay. No-one’s going to hurt you.” Bucky soothed, touching his arm.

“Oh shit, I’m having a heart attack.” Tony gasped, holding his hand to his chest. “Oh shit, I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying. You’re having a panic attack.” You told him, taking his face in your hands.

“You know how to stop this Tony.” Natasha said. “What are the steps the therapist taught you?”

The three of you coaxed Tony through his steps until he could finally breathe again.

For a minute the four of you just sat there, Tony still breathing heavily as the three of you watched him in concern.

“I’m good. It’s good. I’m good.” Tony said, standing on shaky legs.

“Yeah? You’re ok?” Natasha asked him.

“Yeah. I promise.” Tony said, giving her a weak smile.

“You know we’re talking about this when we get home, right?” Bucky said as you wrapped an arm around his waist.

“I know, that’s okay.” Tony nodded. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll get the clean up team to deal with these two.”

Tony wasn’t great at displaying weakness around the team so it wasn’t until you made it back home he shut down.

The boy had shown the three of you and the team dead and Tony wasn’t able to do anything. The three of you stayed with him fort h night ensuring he knew you all loved him and he was doing more than enough for the world.

The four of you were the strongest of the avengers. The four of you had a lot of walls, and it was only when around each other you allowed the walls to fall and show some semblance of weakness.