Natasha x reader x Steve x Sam x Bucky
Sam claimed he was the only normal person on the team. And because of this, he was the only normal person in your relationship.
Sam believed he was the only person in your relationship, and on the team, who was mentally stable and happy. And apparently those two things translated to being normal. Everyone else, in his words, needed to speak more to the team’s therapist.
To be fair he wasn’t entirely incorrect. Especially when it came to your relationship. Out of the five of you, Sam was definitely the one who was happy with life and excited most days.
The rest of you, well, it really depended on the day.
The four of you had been through a lot of shit in your lives. As a result, you all had your own issues that shined through most days.
Before your relationship and before Sam, the four of you dealt with your issues in the unhealthiest ways. But since the five of you had gotten together and become very serious, Sam had taken it upon himself to break those tendencies and help the four of you.
There were a lot of things you, Natasha, Bucky and Steve agreed upon and one of them; none of you deserved Sam.
Normally, Bucky had everything under control. It had taken him a long time, and a lot of help, to regain his own identity after being in HYDRA’s control for decades. Bucky had worked hard to get where he was today, but despite his hard work Bucky still had set backs.
Two weeks ago; Bucky, Sam, Wanda and Clint had fought their way into a HYDRA base. According to Sam it had been easy to get in and should have known something was wrong.
The four had been swarmed by agents and while the four were fighting for their lives, an intercom had come to life and suddenly the words that once trapped Bucky as the Winter Soldier began playing over it.
It had only gotten three words in before Wanda managed to take it out, but the intention had rocked Bucky to the core.
Now two weeks later, Bucky had been visibly depressed. He had not gone on a mission since, he had refused to speak of the incident and he had barely wanted to be around any of you. He rarely spoke and it was almost a miracle when he ate a piece of cold, dry, toast.
All of you had tried your best to talk to the man, to coax him out of his fear and his shell, but every attempt seemed to be for naught.
Bucky was staying on the couch in the study, he hadn’t slept in the bed the five of you once shared for twelve days.
“Hon, I made breakfast.” You murmured, standing in the doorway. “You want to come join me and Sammy?”
The man simply remained staring blankly at the wall.
“Natty and Stevie went out for a meeting with Wanda but they said they’d be back for lunch. Maybe you could come out and join us for lunch instead?” You suggested.
He did not even blink as he continued staring at the beige wall.
“Okay, if you change your mind, we’ll be in the kitchen.” You said before turning. “You know we all love you, Buck.” You added over your shoulder before moving into the kitchen.
“Anything?” Sam asked, placing mugs of coffee on the table.
“No.” You shook your head and sunk heavily into the chair. “Did you expect anything different?”
“I’m going to give it a try.” Sam said as you quickly chugged half your coffee. “He might just need a push.”
“He might.” You agreed, standing and following behind the man with your coffee in hand. You stayed behind in the doorway as you watched Sam kneel in front of the brunette.
“Buck, it’s time to get up. You need to shower, you need to eat and you need to stop sleeping on this couch.” Sam said, taking Bucky’s hand in his. Bucky attempted to turn away but Sam rolled him back over. “No, you’re not going to keep shutting his out. You’re hurting yourself and you’re hurting us too.”
“I’m going to end up doing that anyway.” Bucky mumbled. “It’s what they made me.”
“You are not that person.” Sam denied him firmly. “You are James Barnes. You are ours not theirs and I am not letting them control you like this anymore. If you stay on this couch you are letting them win. Get your ass off this couch and decide, breakfast or shower first?”
You held your breath as you watched the two. Bucky stared blankly into Sam’s hard gaze for a minute. For a minute you were sure Sam’s attempt had failed. But when Bucky slowly shifted himself into an upward position, you felt a grin plaster itself to your face.
“Breakfast or shower?” Sam repeated.
“Shower.” Bucky mumbled, pushing his greasy hair out of his face.
“Do you want us to join you?” Sam asked, standing and motioning for you to stand by him.
“I’ll meet you for breakfast.” Bucky promised.
“Twenty minutes and I’ll be checking if you’re still alive.” Sam said, causing Bucky to smile a tiny smile. Bucky nodded before moving out of the room.
“You’re really good at that.” You smiled, pressing a kiss to Sam’s cheek.
“You, Nat and Steve are going to help me when I tell him to speak to the therapist.” Sam groaned. “How did the four of you survive without me?”
“Shear dumb luck.” You grinned.
Natasha and Steve arrived home two hours later and instantly smiled as they faced the three of you sitting at the table. Bucky was sat in Sam’s lap with his legs in your lap.
Neither of them commented on Bucky’s sudden reappearance but happily sat and joined you all for lunch. Later you would all have to have a conversation with the long-haired brunette, but for now Sam had done enough to help the man slowly break his shell.
Non-reader POV
Natasha was very good at making the team think she was okay. Natasha was calm cool and did what she needed to do to keep everyone alive and to get the job done. To the team, Natasha was great.
The rest of you knew the reality. Natasha was all those things and more, during the day. Come night Natasha became paranoid. Come night, the years of espionage and her own survival instincts kicked in and she was in high gear.
A bare minimum of three times a night Natasha would crawl out of bed to ensure the doors were locked, the windows were secured and there was absolutely no way anyone would be able to get in.
Though everyone in the relationship knew Natasha was paranoid only Y/N and Bucky knew the extent of her paranoia. Steve and Sam had no idea that Natasha checked these things at least three times.
Two years into the relationship, Natasha was still continuing her nightly routine. It was two in the morning and she had already checked three times but she felt compelled to check again right then. With skill that one acquired after years of training, Natasha moved out of bed, barely moving the blankets and not moving the bed in the slightest.
Natasha’s first stop was the windows. Once again, they were still tightly locked and or secured. Next, she moved onto the doors. She had asked F.R.I.D.A.Y long ago to lock the elevator doors once they retired for the night. And finally, Natasha stealthily waked through the floor, checking every room and
every nook and cranny for any intruders.
Natasha nodded to herself as she checked the last room. As her final checks were complete, Natasha made her way back to the bedroom she shared only to stop in the living room.
“Didn’t think you’d notice me.” Sam commented from his seat on the couch.
“I notice everything. It’s my job.” Natasha said, crossing her arms.
“You didn’t notice I was awake.” He smirked. It was not often someone snuck something past the Russian.
“I was a bit preoccupied.” She admitted, taking a seat on the same couch.
“Do you want to tell me why you’ve left the bed four times? What I just watched?” Sam asked, shuffling closer to one of his girlfriends.
“That is me making sure, no-one is going to kill any of us.” Natasha sighed.
“How often do you do this?” Sam questioned her, throwing his arm over her shoulders.
“Every night.” She said simply.
“And how often a night?”
“At least three times.”
“That’s not good for you, Nat. Why have I never known about this?” He groaned.
“If it makes you feel any better, Steve didn’t know either.” She smirked.
“That doesn’t really make me feel that much better.” Sam shook his head. “Do I get to hear your reasoning?”
“You know how I was raised. Everyone was an enemy and if I got close to anyone death followed. I remember every dorm mate I killed by name. I remember everything I did in that hell hole. And as much I try to push it down, I remember my graduation. I am forced to live with what they stole from me every day of my life.That place took everything from me but I got out. And now I have more than I ever did. I have friends, a family and I have the four of you.” She smiled, taking Sam’s hand.
“So why the doors?” Sam asked, squeezing her hand tightly.
“I have more than I ever did. Everything I used to have, was taken from me, even the things I did not yet have. I’m afraid that they’re going to find me and they’re going to keep taking.” She admitted, staring at the ground.
“Nat, no-ones ever going to hurt you again.” Sam said.
“I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about all of you.” Natasha told him.
“No-one is going to touch any of us. We are safe and so are you.” He said, pulling her into his side and kissing her head. “It’s time for you to sleep. You can’t protect anyone, yourself included, when you’re running on no sleep.”
With no more coaxing needed, Sam easily led Natasha back to bed. As she laid on his chest and he ran his fingers through her hair Sam only had one thought.
He’d need to talk to her more in the morning.
Steve had always had issues with himself. He had never liked himself before the serum. After the serum, there had been a period when he thought he was finally happy with himself.
He finally had what he thought he wanted. He was finally more than that scrawny kid from Brooklyn that got his ass kicked every other week. He was Captain America.
But being Captain America came with more weight on his shoulders than being Steve Rogers ever did. Now, all eyes were on him. Any mistake he made now had consequences larger than Steve ever had to face.
The world weighed heavy on Steve’s new shoulders. And suddenly the resentment he felt to his old self was now pushed onto his new form. After all Steve had not changed inside, the problems he had with himself still ruled him and seemed to have grown with Steve’s transformation.
Everything was now his fault.
The mission had gone so wrong. Nothing had happened according to plan and so many had been injured or killed. His own partners had been injured, and it was Steve’s fault.
“That’s his fifth one.” Natasha commented, watching as Steve took the broken bag and replaced it. “Tony’s going to kill him.”
“I’ll handle Tony.” Y/N assured her, leaning heavily on her crutches. It was Y/N and Sam that found themselves injured during this mission. Bucky would have been had he not been a super soldier and Natasha had managed to dodge the fall out.
Y/N had ended up with a broken leg and Sam’s arm would be in a cast for longer than he agreed.
“He hasn’t even noticed we’re here.” Bucky grumbled, watching the blonde in concern.
“I’ll talk to him. You three head up to our room, I’ll bring our boy.” Sam promised.
“Are you sure?” Natasha raised her brow. “We could stay, offer moral support.” She suggested.
“No, I got this.” Sam smiled, taking her hand in his good one and squeezing it. “Go, I’ll bring him back.”
“Love you Sammy.” Y/N leaned forward and kissed the man.
“Love you too.” He smiled. Bucky and Natasha repeated these actions before the three left, Natasha and Bucky helping Y/N.
Sam slowly walked over to the blonde, shaking his head as another bag broke.
“Tony’s going to start charging you for them soon.” Sam spoke loudly.
“So he should. I break enough of them.” Steve laughed dryly. “When did you get out of the infirmary?”
“About an hour before Y/N did.” Sam shrugged, leaning against the wall. “Which you would have known if you weren’t down here breaking punching bags.”
“I’m sorry.” Steve said, looking at Sam before turning back to the bags.
“No you don’t get to do that.” Sam tutted, stopping the man with a hand to the shoulder. “You don’t get to walk away because you’re blaming yourself for me and Y/N being hurt. That’s not how this works.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” Steve denied, refusing to look at the man.
“Then what are you doing? Because since we got hurt you’ve looked at us once and the only thing we saw was you blaming yourself.”
“Who else is there to blame, Sam? I was in charge of this mission. I made the plans and I didn’t account for anything that happened today. I am the reason the two of you got hurt.”
“No we got hurt because of fucking HYDRA. We got hurt because we didn’t move in time. None of that is your fault.”
“I am Captain America, I’m supposed to keep you safe.” Steve yelled, moving over to the wall and punching it. “What is the point of being like this, if I can’t protect those I love?” Steve asked, sliding down the wall.
“Captain America may want to keep us safe, but we don’t need to rely on Captain America. We are in this relationship for Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers has kept us safe every day since we’ve met him and we love him. Captain America is a part of Steve Rogers. A part of you and we love that part as much as we do the rest of you but it is not your place to take the blame for things like this.” Sam said, sitting beside him.
“It feels like it should be.” Steve sighed, resting his head on Sam’s shoulder.
“There are five of us in this relationship. The world is not only on your shoulders. I think tomorrow we need to think about you seeing the teams therapist about this hero complex of yours.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow.” Sam agreed. The two sat for several more minutes before Sam stood. “Come on, we have three people waiting upstairs for us. And we have to figure out how to share a bed with my arm and Y/N’s leg.”
“Sounds fun.” Steve laughed.
Reader POV
“Knock knock.” Natasha said, tapping the door frame. “Tony said you weren’t answering any of his messages.”
“I’m avoiding him.” You said, curling further in on yourself.
“I can see that. You’re in the bathtub.” Natasha commented, giving you a look. “Tony wants to talk to you. He sounded worried.”
“He shouldn’t be.” You laughed, pushing your face into your knees. “And I don’t want to see him.”
You didn’t look up to see if Natasha was still there. You didn’t look up to see if she left. You merely pressed your eyes further into your knees.
“Alright budge over.” Sam’s voice penetrated your ears. “That wasn’t a request, baby girl.” Sam said, climbing into the empty tub and gently nudging you over.
“I take it Natasha went and got you.” You whispered.
“She’s worried about you, Y/N. So I am, and so are Steve and Bucky. And so is Tony.”
“All I ever do is make people worry. I’m not worth it.” You whimpered.
“No that’s not true. You are very much worth it.” Sam said, coaxing you to sit up. You still did not meet your eyes as you shoved your face into his shoulder. “Y/N, can you please tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
“There was a box of videos found in one of my parents many storage places.” You admitted after a minute. “Tony and I started watching them last night.”
“What was on them?” He questioned you, trailing his fingers down your spine.
“Normal things. Bloopers from our fathers ads, videos our mother tried to take. Things you’d want to film. There was a dinner video, I was about six and it had to be a little under a year before their death. And I remember that night, and I remember Tony and Dad had been fighting. Dad was not in a good mood and I’d knocked a glass.
I remember how angry he was. He started yelling and screaming about how worthless I was and how he never wanted a girl. The video cut off after he asked how he could have a moron for a daughter.”
“I’m sorry to say it but your dad was a dick.” Sam said, making you laugh which turned into a single sob.
“I was never good enough. Tony was never good enough. I was never smart enough and I was never wanted. Maybe it was for good reason.” You said before more sobs bubbled up in your chest. “I just wanted to be good enough.”
Sam shifted his hold on you so you were sitting in his lap and your face was laying on his chest.
“Baby girl, you are more than good enough.” Sam soothed you. “You are everything we want and you are needed in this relationship. On the team. You are needed and you are loved.”
“How do you put up with us, Sammy?” You whispered low into his ear. “We’re all broken, we all know it, you’re not. You deserve so much.”
“I have everything I deserve in my life. I have you, I have Tash, I have Stevie and I have Buck.” He said, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I love all four of you and the four of you are all I want.”
“We all really need therapy.” You laughed, resting your face under his chin.
“We’re sitting in a bathtub, that’s probably right.”
“Are you two going to get out of the bathtub, or continue having a breakdown?” Natasha suddenly asked from the door way.
“And if so, can we join?” Bucky questioned. Sam turned to you as if to say it was your choice.
“Get in here.” You said, reaching a hand out. As the hours passed the five of you remained in the over sized tub. All of you remained huddled together, all touching in some way, barely talking as you all enjoyed the comfort you each brought.
The four of you agreed on many things, that you didn’t deserve Sam and that you were all broken. But there were many things the four of you and Sam agreed on. One of them being you all needed therapy and the other being you all loved each other.
And that was all you needed. As well as maybe therapy but love. You mainly needed love.