Breathe Me
The next morning, Carol was left alone naked in the hotel room. The sun was harshly gazing at her naked form. Confused about her whereabouts, she slowly let her eyes wander around the room when she then remembered what happened the night before. She made love with the woman from the gallery, the same woman who gave her a number in La Pavilion. Carol couldn’t believe that she finally did it with a woman. She felt good, thoroughly sore but in all the right places. Where is she anyway?
“Therese? Are you there?” when the blonde received no answer, she felt used and unvalued. Anger crept up her mind, but she tried to control herself. Feeling a bit conscious, she put the blanket up to her chest and looked for her discarded clothes.
The blonde looked around the scraps of information where her lover might be, all she saw was a note left on the table. “Really had fun last night. I hope this time you won’t lose my number and call me. If you want to continue this, please don’t lose my number again. Have a great day. xTherese”
Carol was shocked by what she read; her heart fluttered as she read that Therese had a great time with her. The older woman tried to trace back if she was able to reciprocate her feelings. She wasn’t sure if she was able to touch the brunette. Nonetheless, her confusion and anger were now gone since there was a chance she would see the woman again, no matter what the circumstance was.
Therese silently went inside her shared apartment with Dannie. She tried her best to not make any noise as to not raise any suspicions about why she suddenly vanished during her exhibit last night. She didn’t want to talk about it with her brother right now. As much as she appreciated Dannie’s protectiveness, she felt like it could be overbearing sometimes.
She tried to tiptoe her way to her room, but Dannie was already waiting for her in the living room. “Where did you go last night? You just disappeared; you didn’t even bother texting me about your whereabouts.” Dannie angrily sneered at her, his voice from seemingly out of nowhere.
Pressing a hand to her heart in alarm, Therese took a deep sigh and said, “I’m here, aren’t I? Safe just like anyone else’s”
“That’s not what I’m pointing out, Therese. You know you’re the only family I got, what if something happened to you and I wasn’t there to help you?” Dannie leaned against the wall; brows furrowed in worry.
“We promised to tell each other everything at the orphanage, remember? Why can’t you just tell me where you were last night, Therese? What kind of a sibling am I if I can’t protect you from harm?” Dannie leaned back to regard her seriously, no longer looking at her in the eyes.
They barely talked about the home now, so Therese was surprised that Dannie brought it up. She lowered down her guard and went to the sofa and patted the space beside her. “Of course, I remember but there are private matters that can’t be shared all the time, Dannie. You must know that, right? I promise you; I was safe the other night, just had a nightcap with somebody”, Therese consoled him.
“And you just left her there?”, Dannie suddenly straightened up and furrowed his brows again.
“Yes, and before you get mad at me for leaving, I left a note. Besides, you know I don’t do serious relationships, I’m just here for the fun and thrill. Wouldn’t waste my time loving someone knowing I’ll be abandoned by the end again.”, the brunette defended herself.
“I understand, Therese, but there’ll come a point in your life where you’ll let somebody in, right? Not everyone leaves, I’m still here, aren’t I? If something happens to you, I don’t know what I’d do. I feel like you’re hindering yourself to be happy. What if this woman is, finally, you’re the one?"
“Don’t talk like that,” Therese murmured. When he continued to not look at her directly, she rested her head on her shoulder, “I’m sorry, alright? I promise to update you next time, and regarding this woman, I’ll think about it. I promise” she smiled at her older brother.
In her abode, Carol was in a dilemma whether it was too soon to call or not. She decided to text the brunette instead, saying that she wanted to continue whatever they had going on.
She didn’t want to seem desperate but flashes of their lovemaking kept going through her head, and she didn’t want to wait anymore. The blonde considered that she might just be a plaything for the young woman but it didn’t matter to her at that moment. She just wanted to feel the brunette’s tongue in her again, her feelings be damned.
Minutes passed and Carol still didn't receive any response, she started to worry that she made a fool of herself. She paced around her living room, tightly holding onto her phone and checking it minute by minute. There’s no turning back now.
Therese saw Carol’s message after talking to Dannie. She was thrilled to know that the older woman was willing to give her what she wanted. Without making Carol wait longer, she responded “Would you prefer to talk about this thru the phone or let’s meet in person? Anything works for me” Therese didn’t realize how long she and Dannie were talking, it was past 2 pm already.
Carol felt her phone ding and saw Therese’s reply. She felt excited to have this experience with the brunette. Although she told herself that it was all just fun, deep inside, she knew that she already fell for the younger woman, and having a no strings attached relationship with her would not help the situation she was in.
The blonde didn’t wait for a second longer to reply. It’s now or never. “Do you know where the Ritz Hotel is? We could just meet there.” Feeling a little bold, she added a wink emoji to emphasize her hunger. Therese giggled at her response, but wanted to appear aloof to the blonde, “Sure, it’s a dinner date then.” This is gonna be fun. The women decided to meet at the Oakroom, Ritz Hotel to talk at 7:30 pm. The brunette still had some time to kill, so she decided to wash first and eat a late lunch.
Carol was beginning to feel nervous as the clock ticked closer to 7:30. She changed her clothes multiple times already, not knowing what the proper outfit should be. “What am I doing?”, the woman chastised herself for overthinking. “We’re just talking, we’re just going to settle things. Pull yourself together, Carol. You’re the older one here!” The blonde, then, slowly exhaled and looked at her phone.
7:00
30 minutes before seeing Therese again. “Better leave already rather than make her wait for minutes because of my incompetency.” She settled with mom jeans and a loose white blouse. She intendedly left a few buttons untouched.
On the other side of the town, the younger woman seemed calm and excited to see Carol once again. She didn’t think Carol would agree to see her again, knowing how she left her there in the hotel. She didn’t mean to leave the woman alone, but she also didn’t want to seem eager. It was not like Therese to spend a night with a lover, so when she woke up that morning, she panicked and immediately left. Never in a million years, she would have thought that a person like Carol would show interest in a woman like her. Carol was the epitome of elegance and womanhood, whilst Therese was the total opposite. She wondered what Carol saw in her to agree to such an affair. Nonetheless, she was thrilled to know that she would be sleeping with the blonde again anytime soon.
Once inside the cab, Therese tried to remove her hope of having a committed relationship with Carol. She did not do that kind of relationship anyway, so why would Carol ever be different? Our relationship is just purely sex, nothing more, she reminded herself.
When she got out of the cab, Therese saw Carol waiting for her outside the restaurant. As usual, the woman was dressed immaculately.
She slowly took a breath and went to the blonde. “I’m sorry, I’m late. Have you been waiting for for so long?”
I’d wait for you for eternity , Carol wanted to say. ‘No. I just got her a second ago, don’t worry” was what she said.
Therese ushered her to the door and said to the receptionist “A table for two for Ms. Belivet”
“Ah, yes, Ms. Belivet, your table is at the back and near a window as you requested. Please, follow me”
She booked us a table??? Who does that? I thought I’m just her booty call, such grand gestures for someone you’re not dating, eh? Carol thought to herself. As they followed the man in the black suit, Carol reprimanded, Hold your horses, woman. Maybe she just does not like to wait. Remember, you don’t even know what she really wants. Don’t get your hopes up.
While walking to their table, Therese took her time to look at her surroundings. She chose a good restaurant. The ambiance is the same as Carol’s record store. It looked like it was built during the 1940s and the owner decided to keep its interior the same. The uniquely textured walls produced a smooth yet flowing look. There was a huge chandelier shining in the middle of the room and the restaurant itself looked well lit. She was in awe of how bright and colorful everything was. The viny plants that clasp to the walls ever so freely gave the restaurant a natural appearance. The marble tiled floor beneath them gave the premise a clean yet warm appearance. Jazz music also filled the room, which helped her be at ease.
As they sat at their chairs, a waiter approached them to give their menu and left to think about their order. The restaurant featured an outstanding New American-Swedish menu with a touch of Asian influence.
At the other end of the table, Therese was panicking inside. This wasn’t the first time she’s had a no strings attached relationship, so why was she nervous about approaching the topic to the blonde?
To hide her nervousness, Therese scanned the menu and chose the first thing she saw.
“Would you like to order now?”
Carol was visibly nervous, she kept on fixing her clothes and her focus was somewhere else, so Therese answered for the both of them. “Give us a few minutes to decide,” she smiled at him.
Carol gave her an appreciative look and read the menu instead.
When the waiter came back and took their orders, Therese, with oozing false confidence said she’ll have creamed spinach with poached eggs and bourbon neat.
Carol on the other hand was flustered to think and ordered the same thing. “I- I‘ll have the same”, she stuttered.
“The meal or the drink, ma’am”, the waiter asked.
“Both of them”, Carol hastily answered.
Therese seemed amused by her actions. It looked like she was not the only one nervous about their meeting, she was just simply better at hiding it. Therese didn’t utter a single word until their food came. She decided that she liked the tension between her and Carol. For her, it made the blonde even more desirable, seeing her squirm in her seat.
“Here’s your order. If you have any more requests or concerns, please just raise your hand. Enjoy your dinner”, the waiter smiled and left them afterward.
Carol took a spoonful of the food in her mouth, slowly and carefully chewing while Therese watched her intensely. It made the blonde uncomfortable, she felt vulnerable under the brunette’s gaze, she decided she liked feeling that way with Therese.
After minutes of silence, Therese finally addressed the elephant in the room. Wearing a bareback silk dress, the younger woman leaned forward and touched Carol’s hand, “I’m glad you want to see me again.”
Carol swallowed her food with a great challenge, she didn’t realize that Therese could be this forward in public. “Well, yes, I had fun last night and I’m hoping to have more of it.” Is it too direct? Oh my God, I am such a maniac.
“Not just some fun, Carol. So much fun, we have chemistry together and it would be a waste to just let it be. You energize me, but I’m afraid that’s all I could offer you. I don’t date, you see. I don’t want people to feel trapped by me.”
Hearing those words shuttered the blonde, she knew this was coming but she didn’t realize how painful it would be. Food forgotten, Carol answered with all the confidence she could muster, “I understand, I don’t and won’t expect much from you aside from great sex and hopefully both of us finishing.” Carol seemed to be shocked by her answer and got shy all over again. She smiled down at her food and swirled her food around it. She was smiling but Therese noticed a glimmer of disappointment in her eyes. The younger woman refused to acknowledge it, this was her rule. This no strings attached relationship protected her from many heartbreaks.
To remove her uncertain thoughts, Therese laughed at Carol’s answer, her dimples showing. “Of course! But I want you to know that you’re free to date anyone else and end this relationship whenever you want. Believe it or not, you’re the one in power here”, Therese winked at her.
“Well, I don’t want anyone else”, the older woman wrinkled her nose. Therese just smiled at her response.
“Let’s finish this meal, shall we? We wouldn’t want to waste such delicacy. Then we’ll see where the night will take us.” Therese then slowly brushed her foot on Carol’s leg, making the blonde even more flustered and excited.
After a few hours later, the two women stand outside the restaurant, their hands hidden inside their coats in order not to get too cold. The moon was shining brightly, and the street was almost empty. Carol seemed to be waiting for Therese’s next move, when she realized this might be the end of their night, she started to utter words of goodbye. Therese, then, suddenly, took her hand and pulled the blonde close to her and kissed her lips softly. It was such a contrast to what they shared last night, this time it was sweet and careful. Therese asked the inevitable and she saw the heat returned to Carol's eyes, making her eyes darker than ever.
“How about we get another nightcap?”, Therese asked the older woman coolly, as if she didn’t care about the woman’s answer. Carol’s eyes seemed disappointed and Therese knew to herself that she should have given the blonde time to think about their situation, but she couldn’t resist her delectable lips.
The two gazed at each other as if imagining what their partner was thinking. The blonde seemed to examine Therese’s features as her eyes darted from her bangs to lips. Finally, Carol answered with a smile after a minute of tension, “Sure, why not?”