Scared

Natasha x reader x Tony x Steve

Warnings: Talk of miscarriage. Abusive relationship. Please don’t read if it’s triggering.

As the sister of Clint Barton, you had seen your fair share of stupid things. For example, your brother fighting an alien invasion with a bow and arrow. You’d also been known to make some idiotic decisions yourself.

When Clint joined the Avengers, he had invited you down to meet them. You’d lived in NYC for years, but it had been a while since you’d been able to see your brother.

Apart from being able to see Clint, your trip to the Tower meant that you had met his team. And as your visits to the Tower became more frequent, you became close to Natasha, Steve, and Tony.

The three had been dating for a while now, something the media always loved to comment on.

The four of you continued to grow close, and the longer you were around them, the more you found yourself enamored with them. Only two things were standing in the way of you saying anything. One, they would never go for you. And two, you were already in a relationship.

You and Andrew had been together for a year when you met the trio. Andrew was more like your father than he should have been. A drunk, abusive man who you knew you should leave, but Andrew loved you. Or at least that’s what he told you.

You never told anyone about the excessive arguments. Never mentioned anyone how the exchanges always resulted in screaming and eventually physical blows.

Andrew always apologized, always promised he’d changed. And you believed him.

He’d have to change one of these days, right?

“How are you going to tell him?” Clint asked you one day.

“I was just going to say it. How did Laura tell you?” You questioned your brother.

“With Cooper Laura gave me a book of names and said we’d have to pick one. With Lila, she put a bun in the oven, and with Nathaniel, she threw a diaper at me and yelled at me for the lack of sleep she’d be getting.” Clint smiled as you giggled.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that.” You said as Clint pressed a hand to your flat stomach.

“I’m going to be the best uncle ever. I’m going to spoil this little bean rotten.” Clint cooed.

“Unless Barney suddenly turns up, I’m pretty sure you’re the only uncle.” You smiled.

“Still going to be the best.” Clint shrugged.

“I have to get going.” You said to your brother. “Andrew will be home soon, and I want to have dinner ready.”

“Alright, take care of yourself. And the bean. Call me later.” Clint said, hugging you once more before you were leaving.

You were in the middle of cooking dinner when you heard the door being unlocked.

“What’s cooking?” Andrew yelled as the door closed behind him.

“Carbonara.” You called back, beginning to plate up the pasta dish. Andrew grunted as he slumped into his chair. “Long day, Drew?” You questioned, handing him a beer.

“Dealt with idiots all day.” He grumbled. The two of you began to eat your dinner, Andrew complaining about work for most of it, and settled into your regular routine.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Andrew asked as you stood and collected the dishes.

“You could tell?” You asked, not looking at the man.

“Don’t think you were paying attention to anything I said,” Andrew grunted. “What could be so important, you’d ignore me?”

“I’m pregnant.” You casually said as you put the plates in the sink.

“What?"

"I’m pregnant.” You repeated, turning with a smile. Andrew stared at you for several seconds with a blank stare. “Andrew?"

"You stupid slut,” Andrew growled, his face darkening as he thundered forward. “Who’s is it?” He yelled, slapping you across the face.

“Yours!” You yelped, hand clutching your throbbing cheek. “It’s yours, Andrew!”

“Bullshit!” He roared. “Whatever that thing is inside your belly is not mine! So admit it, who’s is it?” Andrew screamed, shooting forward and grabbing you by the throat.

“It’s yours, Andrew! I swear!” You choked out, grasping his hand with both your hands.

Andrew stared down at you with a blank expression. You could feel your face turning different shades as you continued to gasp. Finally, Andrew released your throat and threw you to the side.

“It’s not mine.” He denied. “I’m going out. You have an hour to get your shit and get out. We’re done.”

“Andrew, no, please don’t do this.” You begged, rushing to your feet.

“It’s already done.” He said, storming out the door. You stood there, staring at the door for what felt like days, waiting for him to come back. To apologize, to make it up to you. But he didn’t come back.

You couldn’t move until the shrill ringing of your phone.

“Did you tell him yet?” Clint’s excited voice came through the line. “Did you?”

“Clint?” You whispered, interrupting his excited rambling. “Clint, can you come over, please?”

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Clint asked as you heard movement down the line.

“No.” You honestly answered.

Clint had come over that night and immediately, as well as swiftly, helped you pack up your belongings. He’d put your things into his car and drove you to a 24-hour diner.

You’d explained everything to him. Clint had been upset that you hadn’t told him about Andrew’s abusive tendencies but hadn’t been too hard on you.

Clint had called ahead to the Tower and said you’d be staying the night. You’d allowed him to explain to Tony what your situation was and the man had quickly offered you a room.

You’d been at the Tower for a week now. You were 14 weeks pregnant, and you felt a sense of peace living at the Tower. Your brother was regularly in your apartment, and Natasha, Steve, and Tony were also frequently with you.

“Okay, if it’s a boy, how about Tony?” Tony suggested as he watched you make a bowl of popcorn.

“I’m not naming it after you.” You giggled.

“I think Natalia is a good name,” Natasha commented.

“Clint’s already named a child after you.” You pointed out. “I don’t want to name them after anyone. I want them to have their own namesake.” You said, wincing at the sharp pain in your back.

“You okay?” Natasha asked, standing quickly.

“I’m fine. I moved the wrong way.” You waved her off.

“You should really sit down. You’ve got precious cargo.” Tony said, rounding the kitchen island.

“You two are worrywarts.” You rolled your eyes fondly.

“Rude.” Tony scoffed as Steve entered the apartment. “Steve, tell her we’re not worrywarts.”

“You kind of are,” Steve said, making Tony gasp in faux shock. “Mail for you, Y/N.” He handed you an envelope.

“Didn’t think anyone knew I was here.” You commented, opening the envelope. “Oh.” You breathed upon seeing what the forms were.

“What is it, kotenok?” Natasha asked as she poured the popcorn into a bowl.

“Andrew’s signed away his parental rights.” You murmured, placing the forms on the bench. “I should’ve seen that coming.”

“I’m sorry, doll,” Steve said, taking your hand.

“The man is a dick anyway. He doesn’t deserve either of you.” Tony told you.

“I agree with you on that.” You smiled at the man. “You three start the movie.” You said, standing up. “I need to use the bathroom.”

Moving quickly into the bathroom, wincing at the pain in your lower back, you shut the door behind you and sunk to the floor. You managed to stifle your sobs as you bit down on your knuckles and cried.

You only allowed yourself to cry for a minute before you forced yourself to stand. Looking in the mirror, you wiped away your tears before turning around. You were about to leave but froze as you saw the blood on the floor.

Your eyes shot down, and your heart stopped at the blood, staining your blue shorts.

You didn’t even realize you screamed until the door was knocked down. Steve rushed into the bathroom, Natasha, and Tony right behind him, but all three froze at the sight of you covered in blood.

Natasha was the first to break out of her stupor and move towards you. She wrapped her arms around you just as your knees gave out.

“It’s okay, kotenok. It’s okay. Let’s get you to the infirmary. We’re right here.” Natasha soothed as both men remained behind the two of you. “We’re here for you.”

“Laura’s going to come down soon.” Clint quietly told you. You had been in the infirmary since yesterday. Natasha, Steve, Tony, and Clint had refused to leave your side even as you were being checked out.

Currently, the former three were littered on a couch they had dragged to your bedside, fast asleep. Clint was seated on a chair on your other side, one of his hands gripping yours.

You hadn’t said much since yesterday. You had not cried and had barely slept.

“She doesn’t have to do that.” You croaked, staring at the wall.

“She wants to,” Clint assured you. “She gave me a lecture because I haven’t brought you home in a while.”

“You haven’t been home in a while.” You managed a smile.

“Got a lecture on that too.” He told you with the smallest of smiles. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Clint asked.

“Shit.” You responded. “I really wanted this baby.” You added after a minute.

“You can cry, Y/N. No-one would judge you.” Clint told you.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to cry.” You admitted to him.

“Why not?”

“Because it was my fault.” You said. “The baby knew its father didn’t want it, so it died. I should have tried harder to get Andrew to love him.”

“Hey, no, that’s not fair to you,” Clint said, shifting closer and squeezing your hand. “Women miscarriage every day, it is not your fault. And you don’t need Andrew. You don’t need him in your life, and your baby wouldn’t have needed him either.”

“I got excited about this baby.” You whispered, squeezing your brother’s hand back.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” Clint whispered, crawling onto the bed and wrapping his arms around you.

Five years could pass in the blink in an eye. For some, nothing changed, and they continued their mundane existence. For others, every day was a new experience.

You fell into the latter category. Every day was a new experience, a unique moment, and new dumb things to witness.

You never fully got over the loss of your babe. A part of you would never be able to forget the life you lost.

Healing was an arduous process, but one everyone said you were doing as best you could. Steve was the one who talked you into speaking to a therapist, and it was one of the better decisions you’d made.

Another change that had occurred during the past five years was your living situation. For the first year, you’d stayed in the Tower. Tony had forced you to stay right where you were. He believed it wouldn’t help your healing journey if you were to uproot yourself.

But after the first year, things had changed. You were still living in the Tower, just not where you started.

Almost a year after you lost your baby, you’d been having a movie night with Steve, Natasha, and Tony. The four of you had pulled out some drinks, and you each were drinking more than usual. You were all letting loose.

Letting loose seemed to include your loose lips being set free. Free enough to admit that you were falling for each of them. As it turns out, their mouths were just as unbound as yours. And were spilling secrets that were similar to yours.

The four of you awoke the next morning, each remembering the events of last night very clearly. It had led to a long morning, filled with coffee, Tylenol, and explanations of feelings.

You left their floor hours later with a hangover and the promise of a date later that night.

Four years later, the four of you were still together. The four of you were extremely happy together, and you could credit them for the healing you went through.

You were used to being left alone for long periods. With your brother, partners, and most of your friends being Avengers, you’d quickly gotten used to changes in schedules.

Plans changed as readily as they were made, and nothing was ever set in stone.

Steve, Tony, and Natasha had been gone for two weeks and would be gone for another three days still. And right now you were grateful they couldn’t see you.

You had to hold your hair back as another bout of nausea struck you, and you brought up the last of your breakfast.

“Miss, Mr. Barton is requesting permission to enter the floor.” JARVIS interrupted over your vomiting.

“You can let him in, thanks, JARVIS.”You said before throwing up again.

"Someone looks like they had fun last night,” Clint commented, entering the bathroom and holding your hair back.

“Fuck off.” You groaned once you finished. “I didn’t drink anything last night.”

“You give yourself food poisoning again?” Clint questioned as you stood and grabbed your toothbrush.

“I did that once, how was I to know the chicken was off?” You rolled your eyes as Clint chuckled. “I ordered out last night, don’t think there was anything wrong with it.” You told him as you began to brush your teeth.

“Okay, I have to ask you something that I don’t really want to,” Clint said after a minute. “When was the last time you had sex?” He asked, causing you to spit out the toothpaste.

“It’s not that.” You said immediately, cleaning the toothpaste for your face.

“Have you taken a test?” He continued to question you. “Were you using protection the last time you had sex?”

“Clint, it’s not that.” You denied him once more.

“How can you be sure if you haven’t taken a test?” Clint asked you.

“Because I can’t be!” You shouted, throwing your toothbrush down. “I can’t be pregnant.” You said in a much quieter tone.

“Y/N, I get you’re scared,” Clint started, standing and moving in front of you.

“I’m not scared, Clint. I’m terrified.” You corrected him. “I can’t lose another child.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Clint sighed at the sight of your tear-filled eyes. Your brother pulled you into a hug, and you fisted your hands into his shirt.

“I can’t go through that again.” You whispered.

“If you are pregnant, nothing is going to happen. If you are pregnant, you are not alone. I will be with you every step of the way, and so will Steve, and Nat, and Tony.” Clint promised, putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling back to look at you.

“What if they don’t want it?” You asked him. “What if they don’t want the baby?”

“I highly doubt they’re not going to want this baby. If you are pregnant, I’m pretty sure they’re going to want it and be more excited than anyone.”

“I think I need to take a pregnancy test.” You whispered after several seconds.

“You’re quiet, baby doll.” Steve murmured against your neck. The three had returned home yesterday morning, a little battered and a little bruised, but otherwise okay.

The four of you had spent the day in bed, only leaving to shower and to scavenge for food. The sun was slowly beginning to rise when you woke, only to find Steve was wide awake as well.

“It’s early, Stevie.” You reasoned, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips. “Tash and Tone are still sleeping.”

“Even yesterday, you were quiet,” Steve said, pulling away from your neck. “What’s going on up here?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your temples.

“I should really say it when everyone’s awake.” You murmured. “Tell you all at once.”

“Okay, baby doll. I can wait.” Steve nodded, pulling you closer. "I really missed having you next to me,“ Steve told you as you rested your head under his chin.

"I really missed seeing you all.” You replied. “I love you all so much, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. And we love you too, baby doll.” Steve smiled, tilting your head back and kissing you.

“It’s too early for the two of you to be so sweet.” Tony groaned. “Haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“Addict,” Natasha mumbled, rolling into your back. “What time is it?"

"A little after eight.” You told her. Tony let out a groan as he stood and cracked his back.

“I need coffee.” He said, pulling on his boxers. “Might make some breakfast.”

“Oh no, you don’t,” Steve exclaimed, jumping out of bed. “I haven’t checked the fire extinguisher is still in date.” He added, following behind him.

“Looks like we’re on damage control.” Natasha smiled as the two of you sat up. Natasha climbed out of bed, pulling on her underwear and Steve’s shirt, as you sat up and froze. “Kotenok?” She asked as you threw a hand to your mouth and rushed out of bed.

You’d barely made it to the toilet before the contents of your stomach vacated your body.

A gentle hand pulled the hair away from your face and neck as the other rubbed circles on your back.

“That’s it, let it out." Natasha cooed as Steve and Tony entered the bathroom.

"JARVIS said someone was sick,” Steve said, taking a seat on the bathtub.

“How long have you been sick, babe?” Tony asked after you finished throwing up.

“I’m not sick.” You mumbled, standing up. Shuffling over to the cabinet, you pulled out a wrapped box before pulling on a bathrobe. “I need to brush my teeth. Don’t open it yet.” You said, handing the package to Steve.

“The suspense is killing me, Y/N,” Tony whined as you spit the toothpaste out.

“Alright, I’m done.” You managed a smile. “Before you open that, just remember, I love you.” You cautioned them.

Natasha and Tony shifted closer to Steve as he opened the box, and you began to feel sick again.

“I only found out a few days ago. I didn’t know. I’m not even sure how far along I am.” You rambled, playing with your fingers anxiously. “I was waiting to tell you. I was going to sit you all down, but that fell through. I was going to, I was going-” You began to stutter as your eyes started to water.

“It’s okay, kotenok. Breathe. We’re not mad.” Natasha said as she wrapped her arms around you.

“No-ones mad at you, Y/N.” Tony agreed. “You have to calm down, you can’t stress out little Anthony.”

“Tony, we’re not naming them after you.” Steve rolled his eyes as he pulled you and Natasha into his arms.

“It’d be weird to name our daughter Tony after all,” Natasha smirked.

"What you call her then?” Tony asked her.

“How do you know it’s a girl? Or a boy?” Steve asked them. “What if it’s twins?”

“Then we have a Tony and Natasha.” Tony nodded.

“Hang on.” You said, finally breaking out of your stupor. “You’re discussing names? You’re not angry?”

“Of course not. This is fantastic, baby doll." Steve smiled, pulling you closer.

"We’re going to have a baby,” Tony said as he joined the group hug. “I can get him a little suit."

"Could be a girl.” Natasha reminded him.

“And you are not making our child a suit.” Steve reprimanded him.

“I meant an actual tux. Calm down.” Tony said, raising his hands.

“Anyway, kotenok, we’re not mad. We're excited, we want to have a family.” Natasha said, turning back to you and taking your face in her hands.

“I’m really scared.” You admitted, relaxing in her grip.

“We are going to be here every step of the way.” Natasha promised you.

“We’re going to make sure you only see the best doctors. Nothing is going to happen to you or the baby.” Tony assured you, taking one of your hands and squeezing it tightly.

“We’re going to have this baby, Y/N. If you want this, we want it to.” Steve said.

“I really want this.” You admitted, starting to cry. “I really do. I want a family with you three.” You smiled, reaching up to wipe the tears away.

“Yeah?” Tony asked.

“Yeah.” You confirmed before letting out a squeal as Steve picked you up and spun you around. “Steven!” You gasped, gripping him tightly.

“We’re going to be a family.” Steve smiled as he put you down. Once more you were in the middle of a tight group embrace.

“I love you. I love you all so much.” You smiled, resting your head on Natasha’s shoulder.

“Love you too, kotenok.”

“I love you, baby doll.”

“Love you, Y/N. Love you and our baby.”