When Naib woke up this morning, he didn’t expect to be babysitting mini versions of the hunters who go out to kill them everyday. If someone said that would happen, Naib would give a weird look and scoff.
Naib walked out of the almost empty Dining Hall, looking down to his feet as an attempt to divert attention from him. He kept his speeding pace until he collided with a cold, tall body. Funnily enough, only Naib fell backward, the other person still standing.
“Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry,” Naib looked up slowly and met eyes with the hunter Michiko. He almost shrieked in shock but he just bit his tongue. “I hope this isn’t such a bother, Mr. Subedar…” she stuck out a hand for the Mercenary to grab.
He ignored her attempt to help him up and stood, brushing his hands on his pants. “Geisha.” Naib realized how dumb he sounded trying to be menacing to a hunter. “What do you want with me? Why are you even here?” He growled defensively.
Michiko didn’t flinch, she just gently smiled. “I’m so glad you asked. I came here to ask if you’ll be able to watch over the pet hunters for just a day! It’s not too much to ask for I hope.” As she spoke, Naib noticed a small group of mini hunters gathering behind her. “What do you say? I can even let you escape for a match or two as payment.”
Naib’s brain finally caught up with her words and his eyes slightly widened. “Wh-what? I can’t babysit!” He took a few steps back.
“It’s not babysitting, you’re just…. yeah it’s babysitting.” Michiko glanced away, arms folded against her chest.
As Naib was having a moment, a small version of Hastur peeked out behind the geisha and walked (slid?) over to him. A tentacle grabbed Naib’s leg which made Naib snap back from his crisis.
Naib sighed. “For only a day, you said?” Michiko nodded brightly. The Mercenary pinched the bridge of his nose, brows furrowed. “Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. You better spare all of us, not me. I swear to god.”
Michiko grinned and bowed. “Thank you so very much Mr. Subedar. I’ll be in your debt!”
“Damn right you will,” he grumbled, glancing down at the mini Hastur. It was so odd to see such a small, harmless version of the monster that had attacked his friends relentlessly.
“I shall take my leave. Thank you again. I will return in the morning to collect them again.” With that Michiko disappeared, leaving Naib with 7 hunter-children in an empty hallway.
“What the hell did I just agree to?” Naib asked himself watching a mini Michiko dance around with a mini Jack. “Okay. Uh. Come follow me… I need to go figure out what to do with you guys.” Naib clapped his hands slowly, getting the attention of the pets. Violetta gleefully chirped and started to crawl up Naib’s legs.
“Wait, wait hey no-“ Naib tried to shake the spider off. “Don’t crawl up my legs, that's so weird.” This will be such a long day.
***
Naib trudged down the hall with 7 hunters trailing behind him like ducklings. When he stopped walking, the pets stopped walking. It would’ve been funny if Naib wasn’t trying to not be seen by any other survivors.
“Hey is that Naib?” Oh sweet lord. As if on cue, Eli and Aesop turned the corner right as Naib did. In as much time he could, Naib shoved the pets behind him. “Hey, Naib! What’s up?” Eli, in all his kind glory, smiled.
“Heyyyy…. Eli, Aesop.” Naib scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to discreetly keep the hunters hidden. “I have to go do some things, if you don’t mind.”
Aesop furrowed his eyebrows. “What things?” Naib started to scream internally as the mini Soul Weaver started to climb up his back again even after he said not to.
“....important things?” Smooth, Naib Subedar. Smooth.
“Uh-huh. Alright, well…. we’ll see you after you finish those ‘important things’. C’mon Eli.” Eli nodded with a small smile and followed Aesop, grabbing the embalmer's hand.
Naib let out a breath he was holding and reached behind him to grab Violetta. “Why do you make my life so hard?” He stared into her beady red eyes. She just chirped and flailed her legs around.
“Okay, let’s hurry. I can’t do this.” And so Naib squatted down and scooped the pets up into his arms. “Don’t squirm, I’m begging you,” he said, eyeing Jack’s sharp claws which were uncomfortably near his throat. Thankfully, they followed Naib’s pleads and sat still happily in his arms.
The walk to his room felt like forever as he kicked open his door, a wave of relief washing over him. Naib set the hunters down on his bed. “Okay, what do mini hunter babies like to do…?” he set a hand on his hip.
Naib turned around to look for something that could entertain at least one of them. His search was cut short as he heard a loud thud followed by many other banging sounds. He whipped around and saw the Photographer on the ground, covered in books and papers. The Joker pet was making a weird giggling sound from above on a bookshelf.
“Oh my god…” Naib shook his head as he saw tears gather up in Joseph’s eyes. He scooped the Photographer up in his arms and grabbed the Joker by his jacket. “Behave.” He glared half-heartedly, making Smiley Face shrink back a bit.
As if things couldn’t get worse, there were a few firm knocks on his door. “Hey, Subedar you good? Did you die of a heart attack already? That was an awful loud thud wasn’t it.” Of course it had to be Norton. Out of all the goddamn survivors in this whole manor it had to be his sworn enemy.
Joseph started to whimper, a sign that soon he might start to wail. “No, no…. okay…” Naib really didn’t want to deal with a crying child and a bigger, more annoying child behind his door right now. “I’m fine, Campbell. Leave me alone!” Naib shouted angrily.
Unfortunately, Naib’s yelling made the Photographer tear up more. “Please don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry!” Naib started to rub the pet’s back, something his mother used to do to him when he got upset or startled.
“Clearly you don’t seem fine, huh?” Naib could hear Norton’s voice through the door. He could practically feel the grin on that idiot’s face. “Ready or not I’m coming in!” Norton started to open the door.
“No! Norton!”
“...”
“...”
“Are those your babies?”
“Oh my god can you shut up?!”
***
Norton laid down on Naib’s bed, watching as Naib tried to calm down Joseph. “So let’s recap, shall we my dear Naib? Geisha came up to you and basically forced you into the babysitting business and now you’re stuck here with six-“
“Seven.”
“-seven hunter pets.”
Naib sighed, relieved that Joseph finally decided to calm down, now snuggling into his chest. “Yes. And it’s so weird, they act like literal children. Smiley Face almost obliterated Joseph, that’s what the loud banging sound was.”
Norton didn’t reply, he just hummed amused. Naib turned to the Prospector exasperated. “I can’t tell you how many times Violetta has climbed up on me or how many times Hastur gave me a heart attack with his slimy tentacles.” Norton chortled.
“What about the Wu Chang fellas?” Norton pointed to the two hunters, enjoying playing with each other.
“They haven’t done anything that greatly affected my reputation or emotions. I think they’re the calmest.” Naib rubbed his face.
Norton sat up a bit and wiggled a finger at the Geisha who was sitting silently, staring enviously at Joseph who was still comfortable in Naib’s arms. “That’s good. You know, I think they only want your attention. That’s probably why Joseph almost, and I quote, got ‘obliterated’ by Smiley.”
Naib stared, trying to register how Norton actually said something that made sense. “Don’t explode trying to understand what I just said,” Norton snorted.
The Mercenary huffed and turned away, eyes narrowed in embarrassment. Norton only smirked. The mini Geisha took the long drag of silence as a cue to show her new friend her newly learned dance. She started to scurry over to Naib, grabbing his wrist and shaking him.
“Yes, Michiko?” Naib said, shifting Joseph in his arms. Michiko just jumped up and down, waving her fan as a sign for Naib and the others in the room to watch. Norton cocked a brow, scooting over next to Naib, some other mini hunters following suit.
Geisha grinned, readying her fan and beautiful kimono. She started to dance, eyes closed in concentration, trying not to mess up her dance. When she finished she peeked her eyes open, waiting for a response.
“That was very lovely, Michiko. Thank you for sharing your dance,” Naib reached out and ruffled her hair, earning a happy squeal. The other pets chirped and squeaked their praise to her, Geisha was left basking in the attention.
“Did you see that? She practically beamed when you complimented her,” Norton chuckled. Naib slightly softened, rubbing small circles unconsciously into the (somehow) still sleeping Photographer’s blue jacket.
“Yeah…”
***
Norton refused to leave after that. His explanation was that he wanted to mess with the pets some more since it was a day off for the survivors and he was bored. 20 minutes passed and Violetta, Joseph, Geisha and Jack walked up to Naib. They started to chirp and whine as if Naib could understand them. Naib stood confused.
“You guys do realize I don’t understand what you are saying, right?”
“Hey dummy, they don’t understand you either,” Norton unhelpfully added.
“Norton I will kick you out if you keep being a moron.”
“How? I could just sit on you and you’d collapse.”
“I-“ Naib was about to argue back until Jack dug his claws into Naib’s thigh. “Ow! Hey! You little prick!”
Jack just narrowed his eyes and pointed a claw to the door and Violetta started to drag Naib toward it. “I’m starting to think you guys want out…” Naib grumbled, rubbing his thigh. He sighed. “Alright. Let’s go. Just take me where you guys want to go.”
Naib let himself be dragged out of the room and down the hall, leading into the kitchen. Norton followed close behind. “I dunno, Subedar. I think they’re hungry.”
“No shit, Campbell,” Naib snapped back. “What do you think they even eat?”
“Cat food?”
“Norton, we don’t even have cat food in the manor. Why would they eat cat food?”
“It was a good idea until it came out of my mouth.” Naib almost laughed but he kept his mouth shut.
“Okay. Tell you what, how about you,” Naib gestured to the pets, “just pick something out.” Naib then gestured to the cabinets. The pets seemed to understand enough because they all went to town.
Joseph decided to eat some carrots surprisingly calmly, watching as Jack and Geisha scarfed down some cupcakes. Violetta picked up the crumbs left behind, not as hungry as those two were. Joseph looked up at Naib and made grabby hands, wanting to be picked up.
“Why do you like me so much?” Naib mumbled, picking him up in his arms.
Norton jokingly made kissing sounds . “It’s because you’re so lovable.” Naib blushed.
“Sh-shut up, Norton…” Norton cackled and flicked Naib’s forehead. Joseph clearly didn’t like that so he chucked a carrot at the Prospector.
“Agh! He just threw a fucking carrot at my eye!” Norton shrieked, trying to move away from the Photographer pet. Naib couldn’t hold it in and started to laugh, almost dropping Joseph. The sound startled Joseph and Norton, both having never heard the Mercenaries laugh.
Norton felt his face heat up a bit, realizing how much he enjoyed the sound of Naib’s laugh. He cleared his throat and glanced away. When Naib stopped laughing, he blushed. His stone cold facade broke for a minute because of Norton.
Norton seemed to have a streak of being near Naib at the worst time. “I think we have to clean this up, don’t we,” Norton said, both the Mercenary and Prospector looking at the mess of frosting and crumbs on the ground and walls made by the other pets.
“We do, we definitely do.”
“...awesome….”
After cleaning up the pet’s mess, it was safe to say the mini hunters were exhausted. “Should we take some granola bars or something for the other pets in case they’re hungry?” Naib hummed, looking at the box of never eaten granola bars.
Norton shrugged. “Go for it.”
***
The dinner bell rang out throughout the manor, it echoed against the almost deserted halls. Naib jumped in shock, he completely forgot about dinner. “I’ll just skip, to keep an eye on the pets so they don’t get hurt.” Naib said to Norton, who was already standing up to leave.
“No, you’re not skipping dinner another night. Naib, you’ve got to eat sometimes, you know? You can just bring them along. I don’t think the others will mind, right?” Norton grabbed Naib’s arm before the Mercenary could move away and object.
Naib knew that he really didn’t have much of a choice so he quickly gathered the pets, explained to the best of his ability to behave at dinner, and left the room with Norton.
When the two (or I suppose 9) of them arrived at the dinner table, all eyes turned to them. It was silent until Emma gasped loudly. “Are those… mini hunters? That’s so cute! Oh my!” That made the other survivors start to gush about the pets.
Aesop spoke over the noise when Naib sat near him. “Is that the ‘important things’ you mentioned earlier today?” Naib sheepishly nodded. “I’ll be honest with you, I thought it was something completely different that… may involve Norton.” Naib went bright red.
“What?! No! No! Not at all! Aesop why would you even think that, oh god!” He buried his face in his hands, face burning. “I can’t get that horrible image out of my head now, what have you done?” Aesop just snorted into his glass of water and turned to Eli.
The rest of the dinner went pretty smoothly. Norton and Naib only bickered twice, Vera and Martha had at least one incident of ‘at the dinner table PDA’ and Mike didn’t almost explode the table. Surprisingly, the mini hunters didn’t cause chaos or anything either. Naib felt like a proud parent.
Dinner had finally ended and the survivors departed, a few (namely Vera and Fiona) stayed longer just to gush and coo at the pets but in the end it was just Norton and Naib left.
***
“I’ll take the pets back to my room to rest a bit. It’s getting late,” Norton noticed the sun was already half way down, stars already flickering in the sky. “Feel free to go back to your room. Thank you… ugh… thank you for spending the day with me I guess.” Naib diverted his eyes from Norton’s face, hand in hand with the mini Michiko.
Norton shrugged. “Yeah of course, Subedar. But, I want to say goodnight to the kids.” Naib rolled his eyes. Of course he would want to stay.
“Kids? What? Ugh. Whatever, sure go ahead, you can just follow me I guess.” Norton silently cheered to himself as Naib glowered. Well, Naib wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of Norton staying a bit longer but of course he’d never say that out loud.
Side-by-side the two walked in silence, apart from the occasional creak of a loose floorboard or a whine of a tired pet. They finally reached Naib’s room, the sun had set completely now leaving the men in almost complete darkness. It would’ve been eerie if the presence of each other wasn’t there.
It was strangely comforting. Norton caught himself staring as Naib unlocked his door, the Prospector quickly looked away as Naib turned around to beckon him in. His embarrassment didn’t go unnoticed, though. Geisha narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Norton, her hand still wrapped tightly around Naib’s.
“I’ll just put the pets to,” Naib hesitated, “...bed? Where should they even sleep?”
Norton hummed. “Why don’t they just sleep on your bed, with you? They’re pretty tiny so I doubt it would be an issue.” The pets started to jump around, excited. “I can tell you they don’t object.” Naib rubbed his face for what felt like the millionth time today.
“Okay, fine.” He agreed eventually, sitting down on the bed and setting the pets next to him. Naib pulled out a spare blanket and laid it over the pets. Norton sighed.
“I guess I should get going. G’night, Subedar. G’night, hunter babies.” Norton stood but Geisha tugged on his arm before he could turn away and leave. “What is it?” She squeaked and got out from under the blanket.
Geisha then grabbed Naib’s hand and tugged him next to Norton, still chirping. She then shoved both of them down next to the already sleeping pets, clearly insinuating that she wanted them to sleep with the hunters. “Michiko, he has to go. He won’t want to stay.” Geisha tilted her head in confusion. Every excuse Naib said made Geisha more persistent in making Norton stay.
After Norton almost got a headache after turning his head back and forth so much, Naib gave in. “I’m making so many forceful decisions today, I swear,” Naib mumbled as he shucked off his boots and cloak, moving underneath the blanket. Norton just sat there dumbly. “What? Are you just going to sit there all night?” Naib quipped.
Norton shook his head and did the same as Naib. It was a tight fit, Norton won’t lie, and he didn’t know where to put his hands. It was silent for a couple seconds until Norton spoke. “Do you always have your hair in a ponytail or something.” Naib glared.
“Is it bothering you, my dear Campbell?”
“No, no, I was just thinking…” Norton flipped over to face Naib. “Is it some type of confidence thing?”
Naib sputtered and sat up abruptly, almost flinging mini Hastur across the room. “Huh? What- what made you think that? It’s not a confidence thing!” Norton smirked, and brought his hand up.
“Oh… so you won’t mind if I just did this?” And then he suddenly pulled out the tie that kept his hair up. Naib almost hit Norton but he held his urge. Norton laughed at Naib’s angry expression. “Subedar, why did you never tell me how good you looked with your hair down? You should keep it like that.”
The Mercenary blushed at the compliment, thankful that the room’s darkness hid the red. “I can’t, it blocks my vision in matches.” He said and laid back down, no longer facing Norton. “But… um. Thanks anyway.” Norton hummed and decided to wrap his arms around Naib, making the Mercenary jump.
“Is this alright?” Norton spoke lowly. Naib didn’t speak, he just nodded, silently enjoying the embrace and attention. “Cool. Well, g’night Naib.” He mumbled into Naib’s hair.
Naib wrapped his arms around the bunch of pets, feeling oddly warm. Hastur returned his gesture and wrapped a tentacle around one of his fingers. “Goodnight, Norton.”
And for the first time in a while, Naib felt safe in this hectic game.