The Moment I Knew
Catra’s heart had somehow found its home within Adora, buried deep in her soul from the moment early on in their lives when they made a promise to each other.
A promise to always stay by each other’s side.
When Adora left, Catra didn’t realize just how big a hole was blown in that same heart that she’d given to the girl. She didn’t realize that a piece of her soul was resting with Adora, confiding in her. Looking back she knows she regrets many of her rather reckless decisions in these past three years, and she also knows how much chaos she had brought to Etheria; yet, the hardest fact to process was how much pain she had caused because of Adora. Because she had repressed feelings she assumed were not returned. Because Adora would reject her. Because Adora had left her.
But here she was, laying next to Adora as if the years that were now behind them never happened. As if Adora just forgot everything.
Catra usually falls asleep after Adora, watching her cerulean eyes fade until she’s softly snoring and Adora’s legs become tangled with her own. It’s become a habit for Catra to lay her head close to the blonde’s chest every night when sleep finally does come to her to remind herself that this reality is not a dream or a cruel trick of her mind. Adora’s heartbeat keeps her grounded, keeps her present. It’s even better when Adora mindlessly slips her arm around Catra’s waist in her sleeping state, making her heart only grow for the girl.
But there are also nights where sleep doesn’t come easy to them, even if the war is over and the turmoil has subsided. For Catra it’s the nightmares that terrorize her at the most unholy hours of the night causing her to jerk awake, her claws clenched tightly around herself and her fur in disarray. For Adora, it’s worry. Even though she knows she can rest, that She-Ra isn’t particularly needed as often as she used to be, it’s mostly the uncertainty that washes over her. Uncertainty of what each coming day holds, uncertainty of what her role is now that peace has flooded Etheria.
It took a few weeks for both of them to fully adjust to living in Bright Moon. Even though Bright Moon had become Adora’s permanent home years ago, they had spent a great amount of time away from it that made it feel almost new. Her room even felt foreign, it was usually left messy and cluttered with bedsheets unmade. She was still getting used to the fact that people made her bed for her, that chefs cooked actual food for her and that she wasn’t forced to eat ration bars. Catra also discovered that food was significantly better and often asked Adora for more, and of course was quick to fill Catra’s request (this also led to Catra’s discovery of milk, trying some of Adora’s and immediately becoming enticed by it). They quickly adjusted to living together again as if they were back at the Horde, sneaking into places that were forbidden and running around the Fright Zone like giddy children. Even when Glimmer offered Catra her own room she refused and settled for sharing Adora’s, in which Glimmer just gave her a suggesting “okay” with a teasing smile (not like she and Bow started sharing a room a month ago).
After Catra and Adora had gotten over the rough patches of adjusting to their new life, both could agree that they had found pure bliss in love and peace.
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“Adora.”
She still lay dead asleep, resting on her side with her hair disheveled and covering her face.
“Adora.”
This time she still didn’t wake up, even when Catra moved the strands of stray hair to reveal a placid expression from the girl. Catra tried placing a gentle hand to Adora’s sunkissed cheek, able to feel its warmth but it still proved to be unhelpful. She quietly huffed in frustration, staring at her sleeping girlfriend (or more accurately, soon-to-be-wife) with annoyance. If Adora were awake, Catra was sure she would dote over how cute she was at that moment in her foiled state.
Catra had a particular affectionate way to wake her up after observing how Adora’s stomach rose and fell slowly. Every now and then, the rhythm became irregular with longer pauses between breaths, she noticed. Catra was trying to be discreet in her plan to wake up Adora, moving her lips closer to Adora’s before she was inches away. Soft lips brushed against each other until Catra caught a glimpse of azure eyes, just barely open.
“Mmm… Catra…” Adora hummed, eyes bleary from a good night’s sleep.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” She teased. “Sleep well?” Her tail snaked around Adora’s legs, brushing against her skin.
“Mmhmm,” the blonde lazily replied. Her eyes threatened to pull her back to sleep, but Catra planted another kiss to her lips just before she could get the chance to slip away and catch five more minutes of it.
“I think you forgot that today is our wedding day, silly.” Catra’s lips pull into a teasing smile as Adora’s eyes jerk open and suddenly she’s wide awake.
“Wedding…. Our wedding…!” Adora exclaims as she sits up in their bed, her hair still partially covering her eyes. “I need to find Glimmer! She said she would help me prepare for the ceremony-”
Catra laughs at Adora’s assumption that she would let her sleep in, let alone on their own wedding day. “We still have time, hours actually. What, do you really think I would let you sleep late?” She sits up as well to join Adora, playfully nudging her shoulder. “I figured we could get up a little early so we could spend a little time together before we have to... y’know.”
“Leave?” Adora finishes Catra’s thought. “You know it’s only going to be until the ceremony until we see each other, right?” Adora points out.
Catra hesitates. “I know...” She takes a short pause to lace her fingers between Adora’s. “I just don’t want to be away from you for so long.” She looks down, almost embarrassed to admit that even after two years of living together she still hates when Adora isn’t there with her. She thinks it’s because of the time they lost together, wanting to make up for the years wasted in fighting and ignorance.
Adora grins, circling her thumb over the back of Catra’s hand. “We’ll have all the time we want to each other after tonight. I promise.”
“You promise?”
She presses their foreheads together so that their eyes meet. “I promise.”
They stay like that for a few moments in silence, savoring their last moments together before they get to fully give their hearts to the woman sitting in front of them.
Catra is the first one to break the contact. “I should go so Sparkles and Arrow Boy don’t think we were giving each other heart eyes all morning to make us late,” she joked. “I left something for you by the door. I want you to read it before the wedding.” She slips off the bed easily, padding toward the door.
Adora is quick to her feet, though she stumbles out of bed and struggles to get her footing. “Wait,” she says. Catra’s ears perk up while she turns around to face her. Adora is almost to the door when she stops in front of Catra, leaning forward to place a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”
Catra’s smile is tender, easy. “I love you too.”
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“Adora, can you just sit still for one second?” Glimmer complains. Adora squirms in discomfort, clenching her teeth at the brush that seems to be yanking out her hair.
“Sorry…! It just feels like you’re pulling out all of my hair! By the time you’re done, I won’t be surprised if half of it is gone.”
Glimmer groans in frustration. “I’m trying to make sure you look nice on your big day. So would you please cooperate, just for a minute so I can brush your hair?” She pleads as she crosses her arms, waving around the brush to accentuate her point.
Adora gives in with a huff of defeat. “Fine.” She remembers that this is all for Catra, that she wants to look nice for her. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Glimmer in helping her prepare, it’s more that Adora hates being pampered. She can’t sit still for more than five minutes, and with her nervousness only building up in anticipation of the wedding it makes Adora more fidgety than normal.
Finally Glimmer gives the finishing touches to Adora’s hair and leads her to a mirror to show her her handiwork. Adora stares at her reflection, trying to recognize the person staring back at her. Glimmer had chosen to style her hair with it down, giving her naturally straight hair a little bit of curl at the bottom. Half of her hair is in an updo so that Adora would still feel somewhat familiar with the hairdo, and small wisps of her blonde hair frame her face.
The most noticeable difference is that Glimmer had chosen a golden headpiece that had a prominent red heart-shaped jewel.
“I chose the headpiece to resemble She-Ra,” Glimmer explains. “I wasn’t sure if you would like it or not.”
Adora is almost brought to tears, turning to Glimmer with an affectionate smile. “I love it.” She gives in to the urge to pull Glimmer into a hug, letting the tears threatening to fall come. “Thank you.”
Glimmer hesitantly hugs back, clearly unexpecting this response. “You’re welcome,” she whispers back. “Now if you’re not careful, you’re gonna ruin your dress.”
“Oh, right.” She pulls back awkwardly, smoothing down the front of her pearl-white gown. “Uh, are we done? I have something I need to do before the wedding, and I don’t want to forget.”
Glimmer nods. “See you at the wedding?”
Adora grins. “Yeah.”
She feels slightly uncomfortable in this outfit. She’s only worn a dress twice, so she’s not exactly accustomed to these kinds of things. But she feels pretty, regal, beautiful, vulnerable. And she’s sure that Catra would agree.
She arrives at their room to find the note Catra mentioned, folded by a vase full of flowers near the door.
Hey Adora.
I know you’ve heard it before, but I want to say it again.
I love you. I always have. My heart was always yours from the start, despite our ups and downs and our hardships and triumphs. It’s crazy that you’re going to be my wife soon. I never thought that I would get to experience this, marriage. It’s crazy that we get to spend the rest of our life together, don’t you think? I always thought we would always be together, but not in this way. It’s not a bad thing though, but I think it’s even better than what I had in mind.
Love,
Catra.