You’re there in that dark cellar. Feeling nothing for the body that is hanging from a bar by their tied up arms as you crash a bat on their head, their ribs, their already broken leg.
Bloody and bruised but you don’t care. You need that information. He’s telling you that you need that information.
“Speak,” you growl.
Your eyes flit to the child’s body who lays dead at the feet of the one you’re torturing. You get a groan of pain in response.
“It’ll only get worse.” Your voice is cold and unforgiving. It doesn’t sound like your voice, but it is.
The body lifts its head and you meet his pained glare. But suddenly it’s not that man you tortured 12 years ago. It’s Wanda.
It’s her blue eyes that stare at you like you’re the most despicable thing. Like you’re a monster.
Because who else would have done something so horrible?
You mouth opens and slips out a strangled cry. A scream, for those that you’ve killed for nothing. For those that you will undoubtedly hurt in the future.
A monster.
————
Wanda wakes up when she feels you jolt beneath the arm she has wrapped on top of your stomach. She sees your the rapid movement of your eyes underneath your eyelids and a few tears falling from them. Your heart beats louder and faster and Wanda can feel it in her head. She’s just removing her arm from you and sitting up when your cry cuts through the silence of the bedroom.
Her heart breaks for you and she watches you thrash, wishing to touch you and hold you and make you feel safe but knowing better. Instead, scarlet wisps of light emerge from her fingers and she reaches out into your mind, like she’s done so many times before.
Wanda sees the image in your brain and her heart breaks more, tears leaking out of her own closed eyes, as she ever so gently repaints the scene in your head. Wanda whispers softly, her voice drowned out by the noise of your sobs. She searches your brain for your favorite memory, one that she knows will always bring you back to her.
Wanda watches the new dream settle on top of the old one, and feels the drum of your heart beat slow.
—————
The dark cellar is replaced by a beautiful sunset on the beach. The sky is colored with the prettiest of pinks and the warmest of oranges, and you sit wrapped up in Wanda’s arms. You turn your face upward and look up at Wanda’s.
Her hair is tied up messily behind her head and her face is slightly sunburnt but you think she looks amazing. You tell her this, and she smiles shyly and kisses your forehead, mumbling a thank you and returning the compliment.
You look up to her again and then you breathe out three words, in a whisper so soft she wouldn’t have heard it if she was any further.
“I love you.”
Her eyes dart quickly between yours for a moment before a grin breaks out across her face. She leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips and whispers back.
“I love you too, Y/N.”
“Y/N,” she’s repeating.
—————
Your eyes flicker slightly and you’re stirring more.
“Y/N.”
Wanda runs her hands up and down your arm and tries to coax you gently out of sleep.
Suddenly, your eyes fly open and you gasp, jolting up in bed and flinching away from Wanda’s touch. Wanda shushes you softly and curses herself for not doing a better job. Despite how many times she’s eased you out of nightmares, it never gets easier seeing you like this.
You slowly come to your senses and look around the dark room, trying to get your bearings. You hear someone’s voice next to you, it’s soothing, warm, and familiar. At the same time you hear your own voice chanting within your head.
Monster. Monster. Monster.
Your hands come flying to your head, grasping at your hair, trying to get the noise to stop.
“I’m going to touch you, okay love?” you hear from beside you.
You stiffen for a moment, still slightly out of it, but the voice is so familiar and you know it.
Wanda places one hand on your arm and rubs her thumb softly, trying to ground you in her touch. Your sobs slow and your breathing quiets, so Wanda scoots herself closer to you.
A look of realization washes over your face as your head clears, and Wanda continues to whisper sweet little nothings for you to come back to her.
When you look up and find blue eyes filled with concern staring at you, you shake your head slowly and bring your hands up to cover your face.
“I’m so sorry,” you whisper shakily. To Wanda for waking her up, and to the many people you had killed and tortured in your past.
“Shhhh,” Wanda coos. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.” She brings her arms around you and you collapse into her, falling apart once again. She holds you tightly, rubbing your back and letting you sob. After a few minutes you quiet down and she presses a kiss to your head. She shifts the two of you so you’re lying against the propped up pillows on the headboard.
You wrap your arm around her waist, sleepily trying to pull yourself closer. Wanda knows you both will have to talk, but for now, she’s content with letting you stay in her arms.