Mio had never understood people’s need to talk about their feelings. If they were meant to be talked about, they should have been named talkies.
However. Part of Mio admired Zoe. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, heavens no, but sometimes she longed for that kind of gullible optimism, even though she saw it for what it was; a shield.
Everyone had shields, everyone had something they wanted to protect themselves from. The ability to use one that allowed you to remain approachable to other people was something Mio wouldn’t even dream of. She had chosen the opposite, because allowing yourself to be consumed by darkness was easier than chasing the light. A smile required a lot more energy than a frown. Mio, frankly, didn't have any energy to waste.
Mio would describe herself as pragmatic and realistic. Zoe might think she was cynical, or… did she want to know how Zoe would have described her? Most likely not. If Zoe were to ask Mio what she thought of her, the response would be naive. What she wouldn’t say, was that she also saw that she was earnest and, that she would never dare to wear rose colored lenses.
Keeping people at arm’s length was cowardly. Zoe was brave, and much stronger than Mio.
You are a part of everything you create, or whatever it was Zoe had said.
Mio knew this fact all too well. Writing was the one outlet she had found that worked for her. Somewhat, at the very least.
“I don’t even want to know what Freud would have thought about me,” Mio muttered to herself. They were in one of her stories, yet another unfinished, because she hadn't been dedicated enough to finish it. She wasn’t happy about unveiling whatever was lurking there.
“Did you say something?” Zoe spoke behind her.
“No. Just thinking out loud.”
Mio returned to join her companion by the pool they had allowed themselves to spend a minute to catch a little bit of rest. It was stupid. Riding waterslides and chilling on inflatable donuts when they were in the middle of a severely chaotic situation? Hearing Zoe chirp and laugh had convinced her it might be worth it despite it all. For all they knew, they might be stuck here for the rest of their lives.
Zoe might be the last person she ever spent time with, and these five minutes of relaxation might be all they’ve got that would resemble normality.
As Mio turned her gaze to Zoe to say something about it being time to get their asses up, she paused. Zoe’s gaze was fixed at the neon sign, her skin painted in a blue, serene glow. She was prettier than Mio had realized during their first interaction in the elevator. Now she saw that she carried herself like someone who underestimated her beauty. And at that moment, Zoe caught a glimpse of what her shield protected her from.
Mio figured that Zoe tried to make her talk about what inspired her to create certain things because she hoped to receive the same question in return. Perhaps subconsciously, she harbored a longing to open Pandora’s box and release what she had kept inside.
So far, Mio had dodged the topic of Zoe’s sister and the inspiration for her stories. That was not because of indifference towards what inspired her to write. Whether concealed by a happy-go-lucky demeanor or something else, Mio knew sorrow and grief when she saw it, and she was the last person on earth one should turn to when seeking solace.
She could say something. She could ask. Perhaps she should. It wasn't like she had much to lose, seeing how things were at the moment. And even if they got out, they wouldn't see each other again afterwards.
“We should move on,” Mio heard herself say. Zoe made a noise that could have meant anything at all.
“It was nice to get some rest," Zoe said.
“Better not get used to it.”
Zoe didn’t say anything else and her shoulders slumped as she got on her feet. Mio turned her back to her so she wouldn't have to see. Her tone had been harsh for no reason at all. She should apologize. Then again, what difference would it make, since they might not find a way out.
Zoe would have, though. She wouldn't have let pride stand in her way. And as annoying as that might be, it was admirable.
One day, perhaps Mio would also be brave enough to wear rose colored lenses.