Momoko's Bad Timing - Teen (Drama)
A gentle breeze plays with my hair.
Birdies sing outside, near and far, filling the world with music.
The clippers’ weight in my hands is heavy, shuddering down their length upon biting down.
Snip goes another finger. Oh, wow! This is actually starting to look like a sunflower!
Another trimming falls, caught in my hand! I drop it in the bowl, ah! This is so excit-!
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
“Fweh?!” Kaede’s hands flew to her face faster than her clippers clattered upon the desk. No monster behind her, just Pero-chan sleeping on the bed. Wait. A cute avian couple cut across the blue expanse above. That was further away than my bedroom door. The front, then? But who could—?
Knock-knock-BANG!
How unfriendly-sounding. That was sometimes Rena when she got impatient, but Kaede’s phone displayed zero text messages. It couldn’t have been one of her handful of friends, or her girlfriend. But aggressive knocking implied serious intention, being here and all.
It might be... a stranger.
But still…
Kaede pushed herself from the chair, eyes on her doorknob. She walked fixing the legs of her jean shorts, making them as long as possible (halfway down her thighs) for some reason. It’s not like a creeper was definitely out there, or that he could overpower Kaede if she wasn’t quick enough to transform or anything!
A glance through the peephole presented a friendly face, however, albeit one mired in something grim. When greeted by such a thing one’s heart would react first, and that was Kaede’s default setting 95% of the time.
That other 5%, however, was reserved entirely for one Minami Rena. And with anything that might possibly relate to her, Kaede’s 5% reserve was the quickest draw in the West, as the saying goes.
And the girl on the other side of this door did knock rather aggressively. And until seeing her visitor, beneath the fears of a salesman or criminal, Kaede’s smothered but rational side had presumed it was Rena.
And yet…
And yet, it was her other best friend who was waiting for Kaede’s paranoid ass. It was her other best friend looking troubled, knocked aggressively, and didn’t text ahead of time for some reason.
I’ll see to it, whoever this is. Cold, rounded metal filled Kaede’s hand. Momoko, Rena… whatever’s bothering you, I’ll help you through it. Her hand twisted, the doorknob clicking as Kaede’s other hand unlatched the lock. That’s the only thing I know for sure right now.
Inhaling as the door opened, Kaede's expression settled to neutrality.
“M-Momoko?” she cried. “Hi, hello there! Not that I mind, but what’re you doing here?”
Kaede's elder and best friend bowed at the hips, her low-cut tee giving a generous view of a... a juicy, glistening bust. “Sorry for the intrusion, Kaede-chan." Momoko's head flicked up, Kaede's eyes almost simultaneously. "I was in the neighborhood and… is this a bad time?”
She might have seen the guilty sweat on Kaede's brow, or she could be genuinely distressed and actually Momoko. Distant,“lightheaded” in her speech patterns. Her mind is clearly occupied, whoever this is, she noted on the spot. “N-no, not at all!” Kaede's sunflower-shaped bonsai would have to wait. “Oh, come in—I’ve got nothing going on today.”
“Alright. Uh, pardon the intrusion.” From her bow Momoko took a knee, removing her loafers by hand, heel-first, rather than just kick them off all willy-nilly like a certain girlfriend. “So... what’s Rena-chan up to?” she asked, rising.
Kaede lied, “She had to babysit her brothers, so, yeah! I’m, uh, alone and up for anything.”
Something flickered in Momoko’s eyes, but it wasn’t shock or anger like Kaede was trying to goad. “That so? Huh. Woulda figured I’d run into the both o’ ya.”
“We only have water,” Kaede said from their small kitchen, Momoko passing by to the living room sofa. “My parents are out grocery shopping now, actually. Among other things. If you wanna wait around until the evening...”
“Oh, water’s just fine in that case, thanks.” Would Momoko usually accept the water on the spot, right? And Rena likes sweet drinks. Kaede pondered, second-guessed herself as Momoko took the glass with her usual sunny smile. Kaede matched hers as best she could. “Ah,” she sighed after quaffing half of it. “Hot one today. We should go to the beach this weekend, the three of us. Oh, unless you and Rena have already.”
Kaede giggled. “We’re glued at the hip, but not literally.” Something within skipped a beat. Or ten. “Oh, Rena,” Kaede sighed, massaging those painful paces she just skipped, “I wouldn’t mind being with her all the time, though. But… I don’t think she feels the same.” She couldn’t help speaking from the heart, and whether or not this was really Momoko, Kaede’s reply would have been the same.
Her elder huffed, a sad smile in place as she crossed her arms, the glass’s contents wobbling. “Should have a li’l more faith in your sweetheart, Kaede-chan. You know, Rena actually told me she loves you a while back.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” she laughed. Rena had been so proud of that, too, sharing this like she’d aced a test. In Rena’s world, though, it truly was comparable. “But I understand if she feels that way, honestly: not wanting to be together all the time." But that's not what Kaede wanted, either. "I love her, too. When I'm with her I'm... good, I guess, and when I'm not I find something to do, and when I do my garden thing, as I do, I... I feel like talking to Rena, even if it's just over the phone. But, despite how I feel, deep down I don’t think it’s healthy for a couple to obsess over one another. N-not after being together a year, I mean, like us. We've been. Um..." Kaede crossed her legs. "And Rena and I are past the Honeymoon Phase, but we love each other just as much as we did when we started. That’s what I think, and I think that's all that matters in the end.”
“Huh." Momoko clapped her hands. "Wow, you two are… so danged cute, honestly.”
Laughter burst from Kaede’s lips, and heat her cheeks. “Momoko!” she whined into her palms.
The blonde grabbed her by the shoulders. “So cute I could just eat the two o’ you up!” Momoko growled, jostling her. Kaede kicked her legs, giggling, feebly pushing her away. Unlike Rena Momoko backed off by the halfhearted nudge.
As her laughter died, a sigh exuded from behind. Momoko had collapsed into the sofa’s all-devouring softness, mussing up her ponytail as a hand clasped across her eyes, pinched her nose. “So Rena-chan’s not comin’ by later?”
Momoko’s hand dropped.
Her eyes opened to a halfhearted staredown with the ceiling.
Something was seriously bothering her. “Momoko?” It was nothing heartwrenching, nothing which made her eyes in the light so glossy. But it was something—something deep, painful, and smothered immediately upon meeting Kaede’s.
“Ah, sorry.” Momoko’s arms uncrossed, slumping at her sides. “Sorry, Kaede-chan. Bad Timing Momoko’s also Big Liar Momoko... I am here for a reason, but I didn’t wanna scare you with a serious-sounding text.”
And there it was: the call for help this was known to be. Any suspicion died on the spot, not by naivete’s clumsy hand but the simple fact that it really didn’t matter, it shouldn’t have from the start. Even if it was well-placed, whether or not this was Rena, a friend came to Kaede because they were troubled. The fantasy she had always dreamed of, but cut from her heart until becoming a magical girl, was right here eyeing the swell of Kaede’s crossed thighs just prior to her looking over.
…
...Wait a minute.
She couldn’t be sure if that was a coincidence, but Kaede found herself holding onto the cuffs of her shorts for security’s sake. And maybe privacy’s.
“Alright.” Momoko leaned over, took a sip and then plunked her empty glass upon the coffee table. “I guess I shouldn’t beat around the bush. I’m here because of… of us, Kaede-chan.”
It all hit at once: the lack of text, the seriousness in Momoko’s face: “You’re not kicking me out, are you?” Kaede turned fully, gripping her shortsleeves so she wouldn’t her elder's. “But I thought I’d gotten stronger. Or, no … no, you’re not kicking Rena out, right? But she’s been doing so much better these couple months!”
“Of course not!” Momoko’s voice broke. “Of course not. There ain’t reason for me to even think of doing anything like all’a that! So, relax.”
Something within uncoiled, lighter than air, yet paradoxically mired in regret. Now I know how Rena feels whenever she reacts on the spot. Sighing, Kaede looked Momoko in her pained eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
Momoko blanched, blushing and backing slightly. “Kaede, I…” Momoko pursed her lips, shook her head. Whispered, “Jeez, I can’t do this, Kaede, I can't say it.”
“It’s just me, Momoko.” Their eyes met with a caress of the shoulder.
“You won’t hate me, no matter what?”
The fact that she cared so much about their friendship, someone as cool and mature as Momoko… “Not unless you’ve… you know, hurt someone to death,” Kaede answered lightly.
Momoko smiled, her shoulders jumping with a smothered laugh. Gingerly, she unclasped Kaede from her shoulder, held her by the wrist between them. She wouldn’t stop looking at it; Kaede sort of wanted to pull away. Even though it just lasted a moment before Momoko held Kaede’s hand in both of hers.
“Kaede-chan,” she breathed in, and out, “I… I have feelings for ya.”
Kaede blinked. “What?” She heard that again, and again and again, all in her mind. “What?” At the same time, two years’ worth of memories with Momoko resurfaced, scanning each and every one for longing looks or playful nudges that may or may not have had something more. “What?! Why?!” She flinched before Momoko could, before the words fully left her mouth. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kaede laid herself in her free hand, wishing that the darkness would give way to her bedroom ceiling, and Momoko’s alarmed breathing the drone of her alarm clock. “It’s just—I don’t believe it,” she blurted out. “When did this happen, Momoko? How?”
She almost looked as cute as Rena with those big, wide eyes crowning and contrasting a bright red blush. “I-I love you as a friend, always.” Her gaze dropped to the hands strangling Kaede’s digits. “But-but-but I’m starting to… to… feel… like… like I missed out on you that entire time. Y’know? Like… like you were always there, but I only saw sweet little Kaede, and not the young lady you’ve always been. Ugh. Does… does that make sense?”
Yes.
Too much.
It made too much sense.
A tragic amount of sense.
“M-Momoko... I’m really, really happy you think I’m worth your time like that.” Her face and hold slackened; Kaede took the chance to rip her hand out of Momoko’s—this had to be settled succinctly, no emotional manipulation or misunderstandings. None of that.
“I am,” she reaffirmed, massaging the feeling back into her fingers. “And I promise you, I love you, too.”
Momoko’s gaze held, not her shoulders, slouched with the weight of rejection. But she was listening, like actually hearing her. She always heard Kaede, never looked down on her for her shortcomings—among so many others things. She’s done… everything, simply put, for Kaede. And Rena, too.
For that, Kaede meant it in more ways than just fighting Witches as she said, “I’d not be here if it weren’t for you, Momoko.”
She tried a smirk. “M’sensin’ a ‘but’ about to rear its ugly head.”
Kaede allowed a sad smile when she couldn’t nod; if she devoted anything within her to doing anything other than saying what needed saying, Kaede would burst out crying from the guilt, the pain she was putting Momoko through, and that would delay the inevitable and hurt her more.
“But,” Kaede hoarsely began, “you said a lot in the few words you just told me. How you ‘missed’ me, growing up I guess. And… and you’re starting to realize what we ‘could have had,’ right?”
Momoko scratched the back of her head. “Sheesh. I know I’m a simple gal, but was all that really so obvious?” She was trying hard to play this off lightheartedly.
Too hard. It was too hard to bear. “Not so obvious that I saw the signs beforehand!” Kaede… cried. “Not so obvious that I could see your feelings past my crummy self-esteem!”
“K-Kaede—”
“But please, Momoko, please, please don’t say you love me as if you’ve been through what Rena and I together have!" She looked insulted. Might have been. "I’m sorry, Momoko, I really, really am. The two of us admire everything we know about you, and we both want so badly to make ‘everything we know’ just simply... ‘everything,’” she sighed. "But we don't. And that's okay. That's perfectly okay, we're as close to you as you feel comfortable with." Kaede palmed her eye. "And that's all it is, for better or worse." Exhaustion suddenly made her joints heavy. Sleep was screaming for Kaede, for a thousand year rest away from Momoko forever.
“I… I didn’t know," said Momoko. Kaede instinctively thought that a lame response compared to the guts she herself tore out of her belly to say all that. But that was all anybody could say in this situation, really, especially with the crud Kaede just shrilled for her dog to hear. “I’m sorry I was always so distant, first of all.”
Kaede shook her head. “No, no, you weren’t. Compared to most ‘senpais,’ well, you’re close.” In the sense of, ‘there’s nothing to compare it to, so you’re just close to us’ brand of hyperbole. “But Rena and I are… us , and you, you’re… well, you’re not selfish enough to feel right talking to us about your problems, and probably too strong to think they’re worth being considered as such. That’s always been my guess, anyway. You never gave me a bad impression, Momoko; that you didn’t think we’d understand if you ever opened up, nothing like that."
A stare. A long, sad stare. Glossy eyes blinked aside as she scratched her temple. “Sheesh,” Momoko huffed, turning away, the hand lingering on the side of her head masking emotion. “I’m really… somethin’, huh? Comin' here like we're in some kinda drama. The two o’ ya are way, way more mature than me.”
Kaede scooted closer, felt Momoko stiffen as she wrapped around her shoulders, pressed her nose into her sleeve. “We both think that you’re the greatest, Momoko. But Rena and I are right for each other.”
“I hear ya,” she mumbled.
“Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of what might have been. Believe me, I’ve been burned by that before.”
“Yeah?”
Kaede laid her cheek on Momoko’s bicep, the arm across her chest falling, tucking itself between her soft, skinny thighs. “I had all kindsa terrible notions and embarrassingly romanticized daydreams about Rena and I. The reality wasn’t as cruel as I feared and I never should have thought that in the first place. But… Rena gets that that’s just me, and that she’s no different. The reality wasn’t as fluffy and conflict-free after she and I first… well, you know.”
“Too much info, there, Kaede-chan.”
She sounded amused enough to stave off any embarrassment, another wonderful aspect of Momoko. “Sorry,” she tittered. “What I’m trying to say, is you can’t let your fantasies rule your life. I’m the last girl who should be telling you this, I know, but if you ever feel sad thinking about what we could’ve been, just remember it never would’ve been. Like that, um, yeah. Be-because you didn’t really fall in love with me, Momoko. Not like Rena did. Instead, it seems you fell for the idea of me. And you could ask Rena if she never ranted to you about this: I am not an easy girl to stay with once you get to know her.”
“No,” Momoko uttered it cold, softly. “I… was never told that kinda stuff by Rena-chan before. She’s always been pretty tight-lipped when it came to your personal moments.”
“Huh. I always figured, but confirmation is nice.” Now that her mind was on it, though, Kaede exemplified precisely what she was about to share: “I don't think highly of myself on a good day. And Rena hates the way my confidence crumbles like sandcastles in the sun if it takes a hit, so, how do you think I feel whenever that crosses my mind? And, as we all know, she gets angry when I mess up in a fight.”
“It’s because she’s worried. C’mon, Kaede, you knew that before the two o’ ya started dating.”
“Part of it’s definitely worry, I know that.” But Rena was complicated, with conflicting emotions for just about everything. “And I’ve always acknowledged that it’s hard for Rena, finding the words to how she really feels, and not always because she doesn’t know how.”
“Now I’m sensin’ an uncomfortable ‘but’ incoming.” Momoko laid her head on top of Kaede’s.
It was the closest they’ve ever been, physically.
“It’s nothing bad, I don’t think.” Kaede's knees rubbed together. “Rena’s worried about me hurting myself, so she gets angry when I make mistakes; I make mistakes because I’m skittish and weak when my head isn’t in the game, and that can get you or her or myself hurt. Or worse. Thus the circle: Rena doesn’t want that, and the danger we’re in is so real, it really does take just one slip-up to get your soul gem shattered, so she… well, Rena’s like me, you know? Our heads are usually caught up in some kind of worst-case-scenario.”
Momoko hummed. “Sounds like it could get annoying for you both.”
“It does.” Kaede’s cheeks began to ache; she had started smiling at some point. “But we’ve always been that way, Rena and I. The fact that we’re still together despite that says the bad hasn’t outweighed the good we give to one another.” Yet a certain bad habit of Rena’s did inflict a lot of needless stress, the suspicion Kaede now leveled with Momoko a symptom. “Rena doesn’t trust me,” she confessed, leaning away from her, into the sofa. Momoko’s eyes followed wide, otherwise speechless. “And Rena hates that she doesn’t, and I can’t help but feel like part of it comes from this… this annoying habit of hers.”
Momoko said nothing. For several seconds, she still said nothing. Kaede looked from the ceiling to her elder, the high school senior staring a thousand miles downward into her denim-clad lap. With a start, Momoko looked up as if just realizing she was sitting with Kaede.
“Sorry, I was just thinking,” she sighed, half in thought. “‘Cuz Rena, she…” Kaede’s ears perked up, and not because it was about Rena; she kept her sights set on Momoko’s roving gaze. “Rena-chan didn’t tell me a whole lot, but she did say some kinda nonsense about her trust: that she believes what you’re saying, but there’s this… like this ‘part’ of her that can’t. I don’t get it, frankly. Either she trusts you or she doesn’t, and she can’t seem to decide for herself.”
“Yeah,” sighed Kaede. “I know what you're talking about. Sadly, that’s Rena for ya: she wants to be happy but she’s afraid of getting hurt, I guess. It’s like she’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that would be losing the two of us.”
“...Yeah.”
“That ‘part’ is the old Rena, before she was a magical girl: friendless, bullied, depressed… suicidal.”
“Hey, woah!” Momoko blanched on the spot, smacking herself on the forehead. “Uh, y-you shouldn’t just share something that personal with anybody!”
“I haven’t. I shared it with Momoko.”
Said girl tore away, tinted red in the face. “Rena’d probably be pissed if she knew,” Momoko told her lap.
“Then hopefully Rena would remember I’m just as paranoid as she is. That despite always telling me she’s happy and getting better, there’s this uncontrollable piece of the old Kaede—emotional, overthinking, pessimistic Kaede—absolutely terrified by the possibility that she’s lying for my sake. So terrified, in fact, that old Kaede makes me do stupid, selfish things like risk our fragile trust here and now because I wanted Momoko’s advice.” In the off-chance you really are Rena in disguise. Kaede sat up, tucked her hands in the heat of her thighs. Momoko's lips were pursed, her brows knitted. “How do I get Rena to realize that she’s someone worth all the trouble? How do I get Rena to accept that I love her for who she is?”
Momoko searched Kaede’s face, and the wet warmth tickling her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she murmured faintly, as if in thought, or still reeling from what Kaede had said. “I’m sorry. I’m—I don’t know how, Kaede.” A swallow. “It sounds to me like you’ve done all you could, and now the rest is on her.”
Momoko gulped, her eyes falling, staring through Kaede’s lap. “I think,” she continued, “I think I get it now - Rena's realized this, too… M-maybe that’s why she feels like a lost cause: cuz she can't do anything more.”
Oh.
So, Rena felt like a lost cause, apparently.
There was so much going on, both spoken aloud and lurking between the lines that were Momoko’s behavior and the flow of conversation (or perhaps not, perhaps this was just Momoko as previously concluded, and that was the worst part of all this - not knowing the difference between her best friend and her girlfriend here and now). Coupled with emotions dredged up just after burying them in bonsai trimming, Kaede had to face the facts that she really was a worthless girlfriend.
Good thing she made peace with that one year ago. Didn't make it hurt less, but made it easier to push it out of mind.
So much was going on in Kaede, she almost missed the new information Momoko had shared: “Sh-she said she feels like a lost cause?” Heart-wrenchingly, that was nothing new. More specifically: “She said she feels that way about our relationship?”
“Moreso herself, I’d say.” Momoko stretched her arms, her shoulders, her chest thrusting out as she exhaled. “You know how Rena is: too scared to say how she really feels, so she does stupid and hurtful things to get the point across—and an effect she knows is coming.”
“I don’t think Rena’s thinking about what’ll happen when she reacts the way she does. It’s kinda off the cuff, usually.”
Momoko reeled her leg into the sofa, hugging it beneath her chin. “Naw, nah, you’re right, it’s not like she plans this stuff. We never do when it comes to our emotions, you know?”
Kaede fell back, scratching beneath a pigtail. Momoko followed like a falling Jenga tower, hugging both her legs. “So… you think Rena does these things subconsciously?”
“I’m not a therapist, Kaede-chan. I barely understand psychology. I’m just saying that Rena’s mistrust is comin’ from a place of fear, ‘cause it’s new for her, since she’s used to just blurting out her feelings and pushin’ bullies away.”
“That’s just a long version of what I said, Momoko: old Rena is still a part of her. I make it sound bad, to be honest, but Rena’s gotten so much better in every way since we… well, I was gonna say since we started dating, but she started improving long before that.”
“You think so?”
“No.” Her smile turned on Momoko’s concern. “I know so. Rena has these episodes feeling like she’s just as, um, ‘shitty’ as she used to be; and I’m sure Rena doesn’t believe me when I try proving otherwise since these thoughts never go away. But she’s better. She is absolutely better, at least with me and you, too, it seems." Kaede's brain noted the tremble in Momoko's lips, but her heart was on too great a roll to stop: "She’s more relaxed, open about her feelings, aware of her faults, she—sh-she…”
Togame Momoko clapped a hand across her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry!” Tears rolled around her fingers, welled a little upon her wrist.
This was Rena. It had to be Rena. Kaede had her suspicions throughout, but now she was sure: it was definitely Rena. Had to be.
But then Momoko snuffled, lifted her head. Turned. And looked Kaede in the eye with hers so red they would’ve looked enraged if not for the sticky sheen coating her cheeks.
“You’re really friggin’ amazing, Kaede-chan,” she uttered in a hoarse tone that booked no argument. “Rena-chan doesn’t know how lucky she is, but I do.”
“Oh, she does.” Kaede wasn’t trying to be coy here—whether or not this was her girlfriend in disguise, she knew that Rena was fully aware of her luck. After all, she’d often announce some variation of this, usually in the afterglow of lovemaking. “I’d say I’m more lucky, though. And I get what Rena’s always telling me, I get that everyone has their preferences.” Physically and personality-wise. “I do. I get it. It’s just that…” Kaede shrugged. “I just don’t got a lot going for me. I may be just the right kind of personality for Rena, but I always feel that nine times out of ten, if she were to meet a better version of me, she’d take it in a heartbeat.”
“W-woah, uh... what, uh, what makes you think that?”
“Nothing specific,” Kaede told her friend’s quiet appalment. “It’s hypothetical. Consider this…” The awful thoughts which haunted Kaede in the quiet hours after a failed joke, or an argument with Rena, surfaced their gruesome mug. “Consider this,” she continued, “consider she meets someone who looks, sounds, and acts exactly like me, except she was great at fighting. Or how about Rena crossing paths with a perfect mirror copy of me, except she can always say the right thing that gets Rena to love herself again. Wait, last one,” she said to Momoko’s raised finger, her inhale of objection. “A girl who is the exact same as me, internally. But outside, I look like you, or Coordinator-san, but I still dress in the same outfit Rena loves—poncho, shorts, the whole thing… That’s it, by the way. Sorry for going off there.” Kaede scratched her cheek. “See what I meant earlier, now, Momoko? I would’ve been just as much of a headache as I’m making Rena out to be. Only difference between us, really, is that I’m not as honest. Not about the really gross stuff. Rena, yeah, she doesn’t either but you could tell from the way she acts that that’s how she is.”
“Y-yeah.”
“But me? Well, I’ve just made my point, just now, actually: I have so little going on outside of the things I can offer you and Rena, good and bad, that it’s just not hard to find someone who reaches the same low bar I set and surpasses it.”
Momoko didn’t look like she had anything to say, now. Now, her face resembled curdled milk, and looked as if she was about to puke from sipping the stuff. Kaede went to apologize for force-feeding Momoko spoiled milk—“You’re an amazing person, Kaede chan," she said as if realizing this. "You really can’t see that, can you?”
A hapless shrug; this was familiar, but it was expected from Momoko, the most expected thing she’d done since entering the Akino apartment. “I just do what any decent person would do, Momoko. You’re no different, except you’re irrefutably gorgeous.”
“Ah-h’ah. H’ah.” An awkward laugh, coupled with a scratch of the cheek; it just hit Kaede who she was talking to, what she just said. This wasn’t Rena, it was Momoko. “Uh, no one’s ever called me anything like that before.” Blushing, she looked up—meeting Kaede’s eyes. Momoko was so close that Kaede, after two years, noticed the ghost of a freckle dusting cushioning her warm eyes. “Thanks, Kaede-chan. I know there was nothing romantic there, but it means a lot coming from you.”
Kaede smiled, leaning her head aside, into the sofa. “You really can do better than me, Momoko. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”
“I doubt I’ll find another girl who’s kind, wise, patient, funny, and is cute as a button and also a kickass magical girl,” she finished with a wink.
Giggles burst from Kaede’s lips, smothered immediately.
Literal seconds ago, her heart was heavier than it has been in a while.
Seconds ago, her confidence was at zero, as always when she wasn’t given immediate praise by Minami Rena.
Seconds ago, Kaede had zero clue—not even an inkling, so much so she never once entertained the notion until today—as to how Momoko saw a romantic partner in a miserable ball of nerves like her. Now, it made a little more sense somehow.
“Stop saying that, Momoko!” Kaede laughed, her elder just smiling like it was nothing. “Jeez, you’re going to get my hopes up.”
Momoko’s hearty chuckle joined her laughter, dying before Kaede could control her giddiness. I never realized how nice it is to be complimented by someone who isn’t family. Rena counted as family in her mind.
“Kaede.” Momoko cocked her head, smirking, fully facing Kaede with one leg ensnared in her arm. She could always look cool without ever trying. “I’m sorry I dropped a love confession on you today. With everything you got going on with Rena, it’s become crystal clear that my selfishness didja no favors.”
“No, no, it’s okay, really! We had such a unique conversation today, I feel like we’ve grown even closer because of it!”
Momoko’s smile receded slightly. “You’re really kind.” It looked so forced now.
“I just love having friends like you and Rena,” Kaede explained. “Friends with meaningful bonds instead of something superficial.”
“Hey, Kaede?” Momoko said suddenly. Her eyes were off to the side. “Can I ask you something… a little bit selfish? Kinda weird— really weird, honestly—but it’d do my heart some good if I left here with… I dunno, something more than a broken heart.”
This conversation was about to go in what would be a weird direction to outsiders. But Kaede understood. She herself knew just how satisfying it was to be given confirmation outright instead of parting ways with a personal bias-tainted implication.
After all, Momoko had just given a robust compliment, which on paper was far more than Rena’s sputtering, muttering, blushy little observations.
“Of course, Momoko. If it’ll help you feel better, then I can do anything.”
“Thanks.” Her face kept to the side, unreadable. “Kaede… if you and Rena never got together, you think we could’ve had a chance?”
A fair question, one that had been sitting in the back of Kaede’s mind since Momoko confessed several minutes ago: a genuinely plausible ‘what-if?’
“It’s hard to say, Momoko,” she thought aloud. “That’s not a no, but it isn’t a definite yes neither. I never once thought of you that way, that’s the thing. That’s not to say I wouldn’t ever, but… part of what brought Rena and I together was… us , you know? We’re both so similar we couldn’t help but try and support one another.”
“And… you don’t know me as well. So it’s really hard to say.” Momoko watched Kaede nod from the corner of her eye, then turned her head fully back around. “So, purely hypothetical, but what if I were just like you and Rena, as open as the two o’ ya are around each other?”
Kaede suddenly felt cold despite the autumn warmth. “Like, if I would abandon Rena for you, like I’m afraid she will down the line?” The churning stomach of disgust, the aching heart of heartbreak, the scorching fury creeping up her nerves—Kaede couldn’t help but feel this way as she spoke. “Momoko, that’s a horrible thing to ask! You should know the answer!”
“No, no, let me finish!” Something about that felt off, but Momoko continued before Kaede could analyze, “I’m just asking if you’d, you know, even a little bit… if we were so familiar with one another, that you’d…” A big shrug. “I dunno! I dunno what I’m asking here, Kaede, because it just sounds horrible. I’m only wondering if you’d even think about taking that opportunity if Rena ever became too much to deal with. That’s all I wanna know, it doesn’t even have to be me.”
So it was a question of loyalty.
Huh.
Kaede didn’t miss a beat, because she had pondered Momoko’s exact question even before that fateful evening: “I made a promise to Rena the night we took each other’s virginities.” Momoko swallowed, something about that was painful on the heart. “I promised her that if I ever got to the point where I felt too overwhelmed, that I wanted to break up with her, then it would be because of a failing on my part, not hers.”
“How even?” Momoko snapped, not aggressively but tiredly. Like she was done with this conversation, or Kaede’s answers.
Either way, it was weird—that was Kaede’s gut reaction a beat before responding. “When we started dating, I made a similar problem to myself. See, Rena is better than me in so many ways. So many that I didn’t know what she saw in me, but I did know of one going into it. I elected to support Rena where she struggles, and it seems she made herself the same promise. So, if our relationship were to fail, I’d personally shoulder most of the blame. Because it’s my self-appointed duty to open a dialogue when Rena can’t.”
“From what you’re telling me, though, it doesn’t seem to work out.” Momoko hunched forward, brows knitted. “Kaede-chan, you sure everything’s okay?” Her hand, her concern, radiated in the gentleness with which she pat Kaede’s head. “The last thing I want is the two o’ you being unhappy, and if you’re forcing yourself to make a failing relationship work, Kaede, well—”
Kaede straightened steel-stiff, snapping away from Momoko’s touch. “I appreciate your concern, Momoko,” she said, “but our relationship does work. You might not know because you’ve never been in one—”
“Oi.”
“—sorry, but romance really is a garden of roses. I know the saying is that it’s not, but the way I see it: it’s work like one, hard to get right and more often than not you’ll hurt yourself trying to nurture it. But it is beautiful in the end, and you do it because you like what comes of the hard work.”
“Rena isn’t that hard work, by the way; and neither is lighter stress and an anxiety-free relationship the beautiful flower bed I’m rewarded with. She isn’t just the thorns or the dirt or the pests or the weeds. That’s all part of the job, and I know for a fact that I’m no better. No, my flower bed—after all of that—is Rena’s happiness. Even if its fleeting, even if she’s guaranteed to relapse again and again ‘till we’re old and gray, I’d still do what I can to make my garden beautiful.”
“Because she’s worth it. So please, Momoko, don’t you ever imply that I’m forcing myself to make it work again. So long as Rena is willing, I am, too. And it’s a good thing I am, because there’s no one I love the way I love Rena.”
Momoko blinked, swallowed, her hand balling as it lowered onto her lap. “I overstepped. I’m sorry, Kaede-chan.” A forced laugh out her nose. “This’s why I never felt comfortable tryna get all feelsy with you guys.” Momoko folded her arms—gripped them for security, actually. “I’m as graceful at this as I am at dancing.”
“You’re better at this then you know. Believe me—ask Rena.”
“Ah. She talked about when I caught her disguised as you, when you first joined the team?”
Kaede nodded. “She tells me everything.” Momoko’s sad smile fell, leaving her just plain sad. “At least, I think she does,” Kaede amended, realizing Momoko might have actually told Rena some truly personal stuff. “I don’t know what she’d hide given the things we’ve shared, but in the end, that’s her business.”
Momoko cocked her head. “You’re not jealous?”
“Eh, I am a little. But like I said, that’s her business. In the end, that’s the most control a significant other should have on another’s life. I just hope Rena isn’t hiding anything that would be more harmful than if she just talked to me.”
“Hm.” Momoko looked distant again, the hand propped on her knee’s peak bouncing mindlessly.
“Is something the matter?” Kaede leaned in, sliding her kneeling self down the couch.
Momoko straightened, a smile trying to form but dying, burning in the heat of glowing-hot crimson filling her cheeks. “Uh, Kaede? Last… last question, yeah.”
She looked like Rena after she was allowed permission to do something perverted.
Kaede snorted. “I hope that blush isn’t a question about our bedroom escapes.”
“Heck no. Heck no!” Momoko was grinning as she shook her head. “Naw, nah, nah. But… it is a little along those lines. Not really, but… look, you don’t have to agree if there’s even a single part of you not comfortable with this idea.”
The first thing to travel from her gut reaction to her brain was the idea of Momoko asking if Kaede could transform into her belly-baring druidess cloak. Like Rena—and it took Kaede weeks after to forget her girlfriend’s kink in the heat of battle, when she was strutting it in front of her and Momoko was none the wiser.
If both had the same fetish... Well, not only would it make Witch Hunting impossible, but Rena and Momoko would never look at each other the same way again if the coming act was disclosed.
“Kaede?”
“Fweh?!”
“You had a thousand-yard stare after I…” Momoko shook her head, shot up from the couch, her tight tee riding part way up her torso. “Look, like I said, you don’t have to agree to it. I shouldn’t have even brought this up, honestly—”
Kaede grabbed her by the wrist as she passed by, as if trying to leave and run from the shame of her request, on top of all her social bungles from the last twenty minutes, big and small.
“Please, Momoko. Whatever it is, the worst I’ll have is a kneejerk reaction and then we’ll go back to being friends.” She simply gazed aside, saying nothing. “You’re too important to me for a love confession to change our friendship, at least on my end.” Though it felt like she was strong enough to guide her, Momoko only budged as she wordlessly returned to her spot on the sofa.
“Alright. Okay. So…” She swiftly faced Kaede, her ponytail swinging. “So,” Momoko drawled, rubbing her bicep in a manner which fluffed up her brea-Stop it, Kaede! “I was wondering, Kaede-chan, if—before I leave—if you could…” Hesitating, biting her lip— biting her lip what— leaning close, enough for a blush to deepen; enough for her freckles to be visible.
Rena was right: Momoko really was a bombshell.
“Just say it,” Kaede begged, purely aching for the needless turmoil Momoko was putting herself through. “I won’t judge you or be mad, I promise.”
Momoko’s face dropped, blowing like blacksmith bellows. “Alright. If you ain’t judgin’.” Momoko lifted her ruddy, freckled face with her sweet little smile. “Kaede-chan, just this once, if you’re okay with it… I’d be really, really happy if we could… if we could, you know… you know, kiss .” Kaede’s jaw dropped, Momoko bared her grin in turn, toothy and pained, pointed towards. “Only one, o-on-on the lips. Just to know what it’s like kissing the girl I’ve fallen for, that’s all.”
Kaede tried to collect her feelings on the matter, much less her thoughts.
And how stupid she could be sometimes—Momoko, like anybody in this situation would, scrambled to backpedal, reading the reaction as shock in solely disgusted terms. “You know what? Forget it, forget it! It was a joke,” she stammered, “just a dumb joke.”
“S-sure.”
“Wha—huh?”
Kaede realized she was looking Momoko right in her stupefied eyes. She realized what her heart had said before her brain could fully comprehend what Momoko wanted to do with her—the very thing it took three dates full of almosts and awkwardness for Kaede and Rena to share.
And really, it was such a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, with only as much meaning as those acting upon it. Plus, girls in anime and manga seemed to play around all the time, groping each other and whatnot (Kaede had to assume this was at the very least an old wives’ tales of sorts, somewhat rooted in reality; it’s not like she was ever a part of such revelry). So... a kiss was just a kiss, Kaede decided on the spot, and Momoko her beautiful best friend who wouldn’t share this with a single soul if it turned out this really was her.
And if this was Rena, well... whatever she was trying to achieve here, Kaede wasn't going to allow any room for misinterpretation. Yeah, still 50/50 on that. Either this was real, or Rena got really good at acting and hatched a convoluted scheme in order to get some dirt on Kaede. By this point, it was either of the two.
“Rena is my girlfriend,” Kaede stressed, “I love her, Momoko.”
“Hey, now.” Tan, natural color, returned bleeding into her cheeks alongside a smile. “This is me you’re talking to. I’m not tryna ruin what you guys have.”
Then what the actual hell was she expecting in confessing her love—?! No, breathe. No, breathe. Relax, Kaede. Your heart’s going a million miles per hour, even though you KNOW Momoko. She clearly couldn’t hold her feelings in any longer without letting them be known. It’s why she, assuming it’s her, came here in the first place.
That was looking even more likely by the second—that this was Togame Momoko, inside and out. She was too Momoko-like and unlike Rena to be the girlfriend in question, and her motives if she WERE said girlfriend just... didn't seem to have a point, everything considered at once.
“Uh, do… do ya like whatcha see?”
“Huh?” Kaede blinked, and found her gaze having inadvertently settled on Momoko’s forearm-propped bosom. Kaede crossed her arms over her face. “Eh, I’m sorry! Uh! Um, I mean, yes! Yes, yes I do! I mean—! ” She turned away, hands replacing forearms, looking between palms and Momoko and then her curves practically on repeat. “Momoko!” Kaede cried hollowly in her fingers. “You’re genuinely attractive to both Rena and me, but please stop teasing me with your boobs or else I won’t be able to help myself!”
“Uhh…” Momoko snorted. “Thanks, I think. Sorry, it’s not that you’re weird or anything like that. I just didn’t think you were that kind of person.”
“Rena calls me a pervy old man. Even though she likes it.” Through her fingers, Kaede saw Momoko looking as red as she herself felt, scratching the back of her head whilst modestly hiking up her top. It was a futile effort, the swell of her chest fighting for freedom, but at least she was no longer halfway to spilling out.
Kaede slapped her hands dully against her thighs. “Um, M-M-Momo-m-moko?” The blonde beauty cocked her head; it was unbearable to see, to think about her judgement—regardless of how unlikely. “S-so, uh, i-i-if you’re… if you’re… if you’re ready then I—! ”
The cushion before Kaede dipped, and the citrus-and-sweat aura of Momoko flooded her nose, softened her brain, awakened a feeding frenzy of emotion within. “Alright, Kaede, I won’t make ya suffer this strangeness for another minute,” Momoko said, just as gruffly lifting Kaede by her jawline, looking down upon her because she was always far taller.
And swooping in, lips capturing Kaede’s.
The feeding frenzy erupted into a full-blown zombie outbreak, so bad it hurt yet so indescribably blissful it was like kissing Rena for the first time again. It just felt —Kaede felt enough to moan into Momoko’s mouth, buck her hips outward, and wrap what still had strength around her shoulders for support.
Momoko suddenly broke, panted, looked Kaede in the eye and rejoined her, cocked fro. Wait… that was another kiss, wasn’t it? How long did Momoko think it lasted?
Thick, warm pythons caressed Kaede entirely, hugging her close. Close! So close Kaede’s breasts went alight with feeling, a pressure—pressure from Momoko’s Rena-grade boobs practically pancaked between them. A warm, soft expanse enveloped Kaede's belly. Momoko’s own, she was gigantic all of a sudden; not just in terms of height, but in every way. From her body shape to her muscle mass, their gorgeous leader was simply big in every way; from the spillage of excess breast fat on her sides, which gave Kaede’s pelvis some breathing room as Momoko buckled to her touch, to her figure’s perfect, firm hourglass unlike the still-developing, baby fat-hewn curves of Rena.
This was wonderful. It was. Kaede couldn’t lie, and her hands nor her moaning couldn’t either. Blown to lumps of grey matter, ever-increasing with every smack of parting lips, Kaede’s brain struggled to literally get her priorities straight: she was awful for accepting this, awful for feeling good, awful for not stopping it, awful for kind of liking it, awful for getting so aroused by her and her girlfriend’s best friend, awful for cheating on Rena, awful for cheating on Rena, fucking awful for cheating on Rena.
But damn did it feel like kissing her—a bigger version of her, but Rena to be sure.
Except, no.
No, this wasn’t Rena! It just felt like her, and Kaede kept her eyes shut the entire time! Rena had messy blue hair, not thick golden blonde; she was paler than this, had no freckles, and sometimes when Kaede would open her eyes mid-kiss she would find Rena’s gazing right into hers, and they would break apart sputtering with laughter. It wasn’t all the time, but this would’ve been one of them if it was her girlfriend she was kissing right now.
Stop this. Kaede’s lips were numb, her mouth soaked, reeking of spit her brain didn’t recognize and smelled vaguely of Momoko. I have t-t-TO—! Kaede squeaked into a squeal as a hand clapped upon her jean shorts, felt around a cheek, and then—! Stars. Kaede blinked and stars briefly dotted the beige walls of her apartment with every bat of the eye.
She almost didn’t want Momoko to stop strangling her, twisting her ass one way and the other, clenching and unclenching her hand. “St’ah… sto’h…”
Momoko’s lips were in her ear, hot and goosebump-inducing: “Kaede-chan, m’not wearing a bra.” Kaede’s eyes popped open; she barely felt Momoko’s hand on her ass anymore, kneading it like pizza dough, reaching deep within the nerves of her copious cushion-flesh. “You can feel me if you want, Kaede-chan.”
“Momoko, no…” she managed.
She peeled her body away, grabbing Kaede by the wrist. “I really don’t mind,” she breathed in her ear. “Rena’ll never know.” Kaede's hand was caressed in cloth, nails catching on fabric briefly before her hand caught warmth. Scorching hot, softness, yet a familiar, fleshy heaviness. Kaede’s fingertips filled first, then her palm. Then between her fingers, and she could tell there was more of Momoko to be had. “Rena’ll,” she choked, her voice wavering with Kaede’s automatic squeezing, “she'll never know... if we go further. She’ll never know-! N'oh matter how many times w-we do it!”
KAEDE, NO!
“It was just supposed to be a kiss,” she confessed to her fingertips, peeking nails-first from the dip in Momoko’s shirt, closed around a fleshy globe. “S’posed to be a kiss, Momoko.” The arousal-drunk words left her brain. A protest: they were finally spoken. Kaede did it. But Momoko wasn't stopping. Nothing was stopping. “Stop… please.”
Kaede didn’t want this. And because she didn’t, some blessed part of her self-control didn’t allow pleasure to blossom throughout her bosom as Momoko’s hand closed around a teat. It just hurt, like one of Rena’s mean little pinches.
“Momoko,” she moaned into her ear, “I really don’t want this—”
“No!” Kaede’s cheeks were grabbed in one hand, the other twisting her nipple. “It’s too late!” Momoko lunged forth, lips-first, and tears in her eyes.
“I!” A fist was clenched.
“SAID!” Reared back. “
‘NO!’” And smashed Momoko right in her flawless face.
Kaede saw for half an instant eyes bulging from their sockets, comprehending the fact that the shitty girlfriend, weak little Akino Kaede, had just decked Momoko hard enough to send her sprawling into the sofa. All at once, Kaede wasn’t being touched anywhere, but instead of feeling want, there were spiders skittering all over. Kaede shuddered, scratching, practically gouging herself clean of the ghost of Momoko’s touch along her face, neck, chest, and rump. Her lips she scrubbed hard with the back of her hand.
All of this happened before Momoko could pick herself up.
But the instant Kaede saw the bitch before her twitch: “You drop the fucking act now, Rena!”
For a moment, Momoko was gazing upon her, jaw massage frozen mid-ministration. For a moment, there was no uncharacteristic outburst. For a moment, Kaede’s insides collapsed entirely under the thought that she had cheated on Rena.
Two seconds after making her demand, however, Kaede was glaring up at a furious Momoko. “You knew the whole time?!”
“More or less!”
In a blue flash, Momoko was Rena, but that same bloodthirsty scowl was still in place. “Bull-fucking-shit! You—!”
“YOU heard every word I'd said to someone I was pretty sure was Momoko! There ya go, Rena! Mission accomplished! I’m not the manipulative flake of a girl you trust so little—!”
“Oh, don’t even start putting all the blame on me!”
“Uh, I can and I will?”
“Fuck off, you know what I’m saying! You know I’m talking about how you figured out it was me, but decided not to let it end until it got too much! How’m I supposed to read that, huh? That you were just saying what you knew I wanted to hear?!”
Why was SHE the one getting angry?! “Yeah, fine! I’ll be honest: I didn’t know for sure until the very end. But you were suspicious before I even opened my dang door! No matter what it was about, Momoko would never just show up at my apartment unannounced. Oh, and she wouldn’t be showing off so much cleavage either unless we were at the beach! So, gold star on the costume choice, Rena-chan!” Kaede sneered in her face. Something beat her in the chest, shoving her away.
Rena was suddenly in her face and she couldn’t breathe by the way she held Kaede by the collar. “Didn’t know ‘til the very end, huh? How friggin’ convenient.”
“How even?”
“You tell me. You were really enjoying the fantasy of kissing Momoko, squeezing her damn tit, you… you backstabbing whore.”
SMACK!
Rena’s face snapped back to Kaede’s, slack with shock and glowing half-pink. Her fingers rose, reaching for the hand print as if to validate its existence, what had just transpired.
Kaede knew exactly how she felt.
She gazed down upon the offending hand, slightly pink in the palm, though it definitely could have been that way before.
But Rena had just used Momoko’s face for the sake of gauging her girlfriend’s honesty. This was so obvious in retrospect that Kaede really should have realized from the start, what with “Momoko’s” suspicious alibi and sudden profession of love. That’s another thing Rena had used: betting on Kaede’s inability to question a friend in need. And all for the sake of staving off her damn insecurities! It’s like what Rena herself had theorized earlier about her bad habit—only this time, instead of bullies, she was subconsciously finagling a way out of this relationship. Then, she would at least have control over its end, rather than waiting for the guillotine to drop on her neck.
Or rather, Kaede to stomp on her heart.
All because she can’t trust me!
SMACK! SMACK! SSSMACK! Rena thrashed from side to side, practically spinning a full 360 on that last hit, but she only made it 180 before collapsing on the sofa.
“The first one,” Kaede heard herself speak, in a tone ragged with rage, exhaustion, and pity, “was for calling me that nasty word. I know you’re angry right now, but once you cool off, then you’ll realize just how badly you messed up. The other three were for that, because you manipulated and then molested me in order to validate your twisted lack of trust.”
“That was disgusting, Minami-san.” The girl stiffened into a statue; yeah, she deserved to think that they were through, if only for a minute. “It’s beyond repulsive. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if most people broke up with you here and now. But as quote-unquote, ‘Momoko,’ so kindly concerned herself over—for the first time doubting my judgement and inner strength, might I add—I look at the two of us here and now, and I still don’t consider us to be a failing relationship.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Rena grumbled.
She knew how she meant it, but Kaede couldn’t resist putting her idiot currently-shitty girlfriend through the ringer: “Do you want to break up?”
“Clearly.” Rena turned her glowing cheek, her peripheral gaze, on Kaede, then returned to the sofa’s back cushion. “Accepting what I just did without any punishment? That’s the sign of an abusive relationship.”
“I just slapped you into next week four times in a row. That was your punishment, at least part of it. Breaking up will help neither of us, and despite everything, you nor I want that.” Kaede joined her at her side, where she could see Rena wincing as tears tickled her new sunset-red tattoos. “You don’t need to explain yourself,” Kaede said, drawing her side gaze. She hoped Rena saw the hurt in Kaede’s eyes. “I pieced together everything already: what you asked, how you acted. The 'why' of it all.”
Rena’s crumpling face wrenched away; she had the nerve to keep her tears in. Her pride was truly on another level. “It means jack, but, I’m sorry. M'sorry m'so... so fucking fucked.”
“Are you sorry because I’m mad? Or are you sorry because you hurt me and the trust I had in you?” Kaede already knew, but the proverbial ringer was starved.
Rena's lips wobbled, her eyes glaring straight ahead. Rena couldn’t bring herself to say it—at least that meant it hurt. In this scenario, worry and rage was warranted the day she decided to stop caring about anything.
Kaede lowered her face into Rena’s shoulder, midway through her travel deciding to roll up a sleeve to kiss Rena’s skinny upper arm. “That was your goodbye kiss. I’m too angry right now to do it, but I know I'll forgive you. Eventually.” When Rena said nothing, Kaede hugged her shoulders. Still no objections, not even a reaction. “Rena? You know I forgive you, right?”
She shrugged out of Kaede’s hug with a whimper, crossed her arms upon the sofa in lieu of a delinquent demanded that they put their head down on a desk.
“I’m a piece of garbage who should kill herself.”
This was new for them, but Kaede had always been on alert for it in times like these: “Then I’ll go as far as biting your finger off to grab your ring. Don’t think I wouldn’t do it, Rena. I’m crazy about you.”
“Tell me about it.”
The tickle of laughter arose, but everything else felt so severely heavy. Too heavy for jokes, especially with Rena actually being serious. “If you’re thinking about suicide tonight, then you’ll either be short a finger or receive the quickest loss you will ever have against my vines. I'd have to stay close by if it comes to that, you’ll have to talk to me, and, even if it takes a hundred years, you’ll eventually come to believe me when I say I love you.”
Rena lifted her face—still as pained as Momoko’s had been the whole time. “You know it’s not like that, you even said to Momo—!”
“I do know it’s not like that, Rena! I’d always known that you believed my feelings, that your mistrust is nothing personal!” This was the last time they were going to have this conversation, Kaede decided as she shot up, towering over Rena. “But the very fact that it isn’t personal makes it so hard for you to grow and get over it! And I get that this was your attempt to overcome it in your own way, without my help. But guess what? It’s not gonna matter! It’s not gonna amount to anything but another bad memory between us, because your brain’ll definitely find a way to twist everything I said to Momoko into something you have no choice but to disbelieve.”
“Kaede.”
“I wonder what it’ll be this time? Maybe you’ll convince yourself that I’m this great actress who only pushed ‘Momoko’ away once it became obvious you weren’t keeping up the charade! Oh! What about Momoko herself? Maybe she betrayed you and warned me ahead of time, and I decided to have a go playing around with my girlfriend’s feelings, ‘cause that’s in-line with my personality, for sure!” Kaede shook her head, ran her fingers through her hair: everything about this exchange, now that the truth was revealed, was put in a new light. A super shitty one. “Momoko wouldn’t even be half as nosy and judgemental as you were making her out to be. But you’ve improved a lot, Rena-chan! Wow, I pretty much bought it as the conversation went on! What lie did you tell Momoko to get her on board with this, I wonder? You've obviously got some training in with her.”
Rena's face was tilted to the floor. “That you were cheating,” was what she might have mumbled.
“Eh?”
She lifted her gaze, looked Kaede dead in the eye, and snarled: “I told Momoko that I thought you were cheating! ”
“Why? How?! With who?! ”
Rena counted on three fingers: “Because I’m me and I do shit like this. Because you’re you and everybody loves you. And also, with Momoko.”
“You’re mistrusting Momoko now?!”
“No! I know she’s not like that, and I know you wouldn’t actively go out to cheat on me, neither! I’m not that paranoid.”
Which means she is “that” paranoid, but Kaede kept it in. Rena needed to say this, for sure. “Then… what made you think that I… would, I guess, cheat on you with Momoko if given the chance?” Rena inhaled, lips parting. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna slap you again if you believe there was anything remotely romantic in giving Momoko what I thought was gonna be a peck on the lips.”
Rena inhaled once more. Kaede added, “Also, you how I am in… you know, in bed. Take that into consideration. P-please.”
Her girlfriend huffed, an invisible smirk only visible to those who knew her well. “I’ll own that. You’re so easy to get worked up. And once you start you can’t stop.”
“Kinda ruined your own plan there, Rena.”
“I did. When you accepted my request, I was so angry that I just… assumed you wanted to go all the way with Momoko.”
Kaede rubbed circles in her back. “What on Earth is with you and Momoko?” Their dynamic hadn’t changed at all since Kaede and Rena got together, though, and Rena spent as much time alone with Momoko as Kaede had, as a group, and less so than they each other. And Momoko had assured them both up and down that she didn’t feel like a third wheel, and they believed her—Momoko was never one to get jealous. Bitter, sure, but if she wasn’t the type to get jealous, she most certainly wasn’t the type to let her passion go unheard.
It’s no wonder a pair of broken girls flourished so well under her.
Rena had yet to say anything. Times like these had Kaede wishing Momoko were here to help. “Are we… are we getting too close, or something? Momoko and I?” she wondered.
Swallowing, Rena shook her head. “It’s so stupid. It always was.” She had always been quick to recognize and acknowledge her shitty behavior.
“Brushing it under the rug is leaving me in the dark, Rena. I need to know what’s bothering you so I can take steps in the future to be more mindful.”
“Well, I need to know why you’re such a damn perfect girlfriend, not to mention wasting your time with cancer like me.” The former part of that sentence echoed more than one moment in her time playing Momoko.
Kaede sighed at the latter half. “Honestly, were you only half-listening to the things I said?” Rena continued being sullen and silent. “Please turn around and face me, Rena-chan.”
She did, waddling in place on her knees. Her chest in this stupid low-cut top bounced absurdly in the peripherals of Kaede’s laser-focused stare into Rena’s eyes. “You hate yourself now, but I promise Rena, that one day, you’ll see the wonderful—albeit troubled person—that I do. Just as I’m sure that, one day, I’ll see this amazing girlfriend you keep on telling me, Momoko, and whoever else about.”
Rena balled her fists, her brows knitting. “Kaede—!” she objected.
A hand was faster, pursing her lips shut. Kaede removed it, smiling with all the love she could muster in this situation (which she found was actually quite a lot now that she was able to vent some). “You label yourself a fake, nasty piece of garbage, unable to fully trust your girlfriend when she says, ‘I love you.’ And I’m a worthless, clingy crybaby who can’t even earn your trust, no matter what I do.”
“But, Kaede, that’s all me!” Rena slapped herself on the stomach. “My fucked-upness, mine! Just stop being a martyr already, I hate those—let me be responsible for myself.”
She shook her head, her smile even easier to maintain. “You are. You’ve always been, and despite all the support you got, you’ve always allowed yourself to grow. But you remember, my analogy with the rose garden? Despite what I said, no one and nothing can succeed without help.”
“How deep. You fancy yourself a writer?”
“No, but I do know a thing or two about gardening.” Kaede reached forth, taking Rena’s hand and raising it to her surprised, glassy-eyed face. “But I don’t know a thing about what started all of this. Help me understand, Rena-chan: what did I do to make you think I’d leave you for Momoko?”
“It’s not just about Momoko!” Rena snapped before wincing apologetically. “It’s… anybody. Anyone who’s better than me when it comes to looks. I’d say personality, but pretty much everyone you know—any magical girl in Kamihama—beats me bloody on that front.”
If she hadn’t mentioned looks, Kaede would have foolishly believed the heart of the matter lied in Rena’s tangled, multifaceted web of low self-esteem. “I can admire people’s looks, Rena-chan. And yeah, Momoko is definitely the most beautiful person I’d ever met.”
She got a nasty glare thrown her way. “Most significant others would say their girlfriend if they wanna live longer.”
“Except when I did, you denied it so vehemently that we got into a fight over who was prettier: you or Momoko. And you convinced me that it was Momoko, remember?”
Rena scoffed. “I can’t believe you still remember such a dumb thing.”
“Well, I can’t believe you’re so paranoid and somehow managed to forget what might have been a link to your problem here.”
“Okay, fine! I do remember it!” Rena pointed straight between Kaede’s eyes. “But you never stopped! Once we started having sex every week, you kept doing weird stuff!”
Humid. It was humid in here all of a sudden. That’s why Kaede promptly became hot and sweaty all over. “Wh-what do you mean?” She had a good enough idea already, but for berating Rena and hitting her, a little verbal abuse was warranted here. “What did I do, exactly? Like how did I make you uncomfortable?”
“Th-the way you always… you know .” Rena gazed aside, gripping her bicep, arm squeezed across her torso, riding up her breasts. Rena’s mouthwatering assets practically overflowed from her shirt’s low-cut collar. “The way you're looking at me now,” Kaede heard her voice suddenly. “And how often you ask me if I think Momoko is hot.”
“I have never used ‘hot.’”
“Ugh, same difference! But how can I not think the way I do when you’re going on about that and always gunning for my boobs?”
“I’ll address the Momoko-thing in a sec. But first...” Pointing to the front of Rena’s shirt drew from her an angry blush. “I’m really sorry in advance if I made you uncomfortable.” Kaede even bowed in advance, rising as she heard Rena begin to interject. “I just want to say,” she added quickly, “that, because I always teased you about them before we started dating… I did a crummy thing and just sorta assumed you wouldn’t mind if I took the joking to the next level.”
“‘Joking?’ That was joking? Half the time it would lead to a quickie in gym storage closet, in an alley, or the woods even!”
Kaede scooted back, touched her forehead to the ground; Rena might not even be mad about the sex, but this was one thing Kaede had zero intention arguing nor defending. “I’m sorry!” she cried into the hardwood, her apology ringing literally hollow. “Because you never said no I just assumed you wanted to! I should have known Rena-chan well enough to surmise that she only said yes to keep me around!”
“Oi, I’m not that pathetic. Come on, pick yourself up.” Rena’s arms were crossed before her chest, her scowl soft with sympathy. “And you’re not so shallow that you’d leave me for sex. I… know that. Now, anyway, for sure,” she mumbled.
“So… you always thought I was just some sort of sex addict?” Kaede snorted—she could only imagine the reactions of those who barely knew her beyond the surface, to be attributed such a label. “It’s not just because of your body or anything,” she said, smirking, “it’s just… I am and always have been into Rena-chan. No one else.” Today, however, might have awakened something within Kaede, though for the sake of her friendship with Momoko she would keep it to her grave. “It’s always been you, Rena, just after a few months of knowing each other: you’re the first and so far only person I’ve seriously been into. A, uh, little too much for your liking, it seemed,” Kaede mumbled, scratching a drop of sweat off her cheek.
“Stop. Please, Kaede, you're being a martyr again,” Rena sighed, somehow the act heating her up instead of cooling, as a glow bled into her cheeks. “Sometimes I’ve told you to cut it out, and you listened. Other times I led you to those alleys or the storage closet and we… you know, did stuff.”
“Yeah.” Kaede looked to the ceiling, recalling one of those. “You peed on me once.”
“Th-that was your damn fault! I told you to calm down, but you just licked faster!”
“For the last time, you must have said it in your head! All I heard you say was, ‘Teacher! Ah! Teacher, Kaede! I’m so close! Ah!’”
Rena scowled. “I’m not that nasally.”
“I’m joking, mostly. But I think your voice is very cute, Rena-chan.” Her girlfriend winced, hid her growing blush in a bow. She wasn’t in the mood to object about something that came down to personal taste—must be a blue moon tonight. “I wanna go back to the Momoko thing,” said Kaede. “Because, you might not remember this, but even you’ve praised Momoko for her looks, both to her face and when it’s just us together.”
Rena blanched, her eyes searching the hardwood space between their paralleled knees. “Yeah… Yeah. Rena still got angry at you, though. Pretty messed up, huh?”
“I just think you projected your ‘shameful’ crush on Momoko as something I had.” To that, Rena swiftly met her gaze, her own wide and stricken. “Yeah,” Kaede answered, “I get it though: having a crush. Because I, well, I’ve always found Momoko to be a beautiful person, really! But I didn’t realize until literally today just how… um, well, h-how sexy she is.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Rena clapped herself across the eyes. “I’m having enough trouble processing all of this without you calling Momoko ‘sexy.’”
“Don’t forget that you were the one who forced my hand on her chest, and my face close to hers.” Rena just clasped her pigtails, tugging, looking like she was trying to come to grips with something along the lines of, “the weight of my own shittiness.” Kaede tittered, because Rena was overreacting like always. And things were starting to feel more normal, she realized, as the dialogue went on. “I don’t blame you, Rena. And I trust you when you claim to love my body because it’s mine, that it’s as simple as that. But let’s be honest here, because I always have when it came to this: I’m nothing to write home about. It’s not even that I’m too skinny, but more that I’m lopsided. But Momoko… she really is a queen.”
“Right? She’s so fit, yet she doesn’t have any gross abs or muscles!”
“Whups, there goes Rena-chan’s belly kink again!”
“Sh-shut u—u’mmf! ” Her eyes boggled out of her head, gawking into Kaede’s, who saw nothing more as she drew her lids shut and tilted into the kiss. Rena put up no resistance. Their lips popped free, and Kaede didn’t pull away, instead nuzzling Rena’s face, peppering her lips over and over, again and again. Rena caught on, fell in pace, quickly turning their love into a rhythmic obscenity of wet smacks.
Upon caressing her jawline Rena stiffened, inhaled sharp, before fully leaning into Kaede’s touch and cocking her kiss. A moan shocked Kaede’s teeth, massaged her tongue and lips, all of it smothered deeply in a kiss.
Kaede pressed hard into Rena’s lips in return, and with a pop yanking herself away. Kaede leaned back, panting as she smiled to Rena, who was in the same boat. By now, the handprints on her cheeks had faded, and meshed with her flushed face.
“What happened to that shoulder kiss?” she breathed.
“Uhh… I couldn’t stay that mad at you, is all.” Kaede tried being coy, but Rena looked completely unamused. In this situation, it was hard to determine why on the spot—this setup could be about anything.
Rena crossed her arms, looked away with a slight pout. “You’re so lucky that I’m your girlfriend,” she said. “Anybody else would take advantage of how soft you are.” She bounced a little as her arms uncrossed.
Speaking of which, indeed.
Kaede smirked, her excitement poised to burst from her chest. The pinky of one hand was caught in the midst of a grin while her free hand lifted the front of her shirt, up to her navel. “Like I, you?”
Rena’s eyes bounced up and down, her pupils like two basketballs. “Huh?” she uttered dumbly.
“I’m talking about this.” In a single, swift movement, lifting and throwing her shirt aside, Kaede gently run dainty fingers across the slight, slight swell of her belly, barely pressing into it. “The softness of mine you take advantage of,” she cooed (and probably failed awkwardly at being sexy). “I want yours as well. I-If you want, of course,” she added hastily, but sexily maybe hopefully.
Rena hunched forward, criss-cross, no longer trying to hide her deep cleavage as she regarded Kaede like one would an art piece. “M-my brain got rattled from how hard you slapped me. So, uh, you’re gonna have to keep… keep doing what you’re doing. Jog my memory. Um.”
It took every ounce of willpower to swallow both bouts of laughter, the first in good humor to Rena’s deteriorating vocabulary; the second resulting from both a characteristic of the former and the genuine awe she had for Kaede’s mediocre figure.
In short, Rena made Kaede giddy enough to want to squeal like a little girl.
“Uh, well, i-if we’re to pick up where we left off…” Kaede cocked her hips one way, both hands traversing her smooth chest, “....you were asking me to do something naughty.” Her hips jut the other way, her hands coming up behind her head; Rena’s breath quickened. “Naughty, and pretty mean, actually—I wish you trusted me, Rena-chan. I do. Because you're the only girl I ever wanna touch.” With only jean shorts breaking the nakedness of her body, it was all too easy to drag Rena’s attention there as Kaede pulled down the waistline of her trousers. “But what’s especially mean is teasing me so bad like you did as Momoko.” Rena’s lips parted slightly, her focus completely trained on that tight little button finally popping free. Kaede’s plush waist was able to breathe. “But I can’t help understanding who you are, and forgiving you because I love you, Rena-chan,” she purred, drawing a shudder from the smirk-suppressing tsundere. Her girlfriend’s eyes were trained and widening by the notch her zipper opened. “Though, leaving me unsatisfied? That’s just cruel, and not something I can simply wave off and forget.”
The zipper unable to go any further, Kaede smoothly raised her hands away from Rena’s prize, reclasping them behind her head. Both a chilled draft and Rena’s unblinking gaze tickled her groin area.
Her girlfriend whistled low, and as usual it was Kaede who had to take the lead. “No panties and you actually sha-h’aved hello! ” Flat on her back, hair splayed out in all directions, excitement stuck to her face and radiating from her eyes. "Holy shit, Kaede."
Kaede lowered herself to her elbows, laying herself completely against Rena. “Hi.” The only skin-on-skin contact were their collarlines, below the throat. “You came by on a lucky day, sexy. Let me make you comfortable.”
As she undid both of Rena’s pigtails—a process that left Kaede’s entire weight on top of her, as she always liked—-the ensuing silence felt a little bit more sad than sensual. It’s because Rena’s panting had ceased, Kaede realized upon finishing with the pigtails.
“What’s wrong?” Kaede asked in the same tone she did “Momoko,” uncaring of who she was, but only that she had a problem. Remembering this crucial turning point, Kaede’s gut dropped just as Rena inhaled to speak.
Kaede put a finger to her lips. “I was 90% sure that you were Momoko around the time I asked those exact words,” she said. “Rena-chan, I could have called you out and saved us both a lot of grief. But I was stupid, and selfish: if I was right, and that it really was you, transformed, I thought that anything I’d say would help you start trusting my words, and my feelings. That I’m not talking out the butt when I say you’re better than me.”
Kaede removed her finger, replaced it with her lips for a quick peck. Adorably, Rena’s lips lingered in a puckered state a second too late and a second too long.
Her eyes bat softly—blue and beautiful, and sharp-shaped as any full-blooded Japanese girl’s. “I was stupid and selfish, too. But let’s not turn this into emotional sex.”
“I’m kinda happy to hear that, actually. I just wanna go nuts.” Kaede giggled at the way Rena gulped. “Oh, yeah,” she jeered, “it’s gonna be like that, Rena-chan. But don’t go thinking the things that happened today are shelved and forgotten.”
“Of course not, you’d be stupid if they were,” Rena uttered softly. “But let’s shelve and forget it for now, and let me go grab a towel from your bathroom.”
“Ooo! Rena-chan admitting right out the gate that she’s gonna be a mess! How humble of you.”
Her girlfriend below rolled her eyes, smirking nonetheless. “Don’t rub yourself off too hard, Kaede. I know I’ll be bad because spending time in Momoko’s body got me really turned on.”
“You are not transforming into anything or anyone while we’re having sex.”
“Damn killjoy.”