56 )
It has been a week since their last encounter. A week that Maya has spent with thoughts filled of the other girl. Maya is not sure why, but something about the other girl captured her full attention, and this time, Maya looked more forward than usual for Wednesday to come.
With her heart thrumming against her ribcage, and her gut shivering with eagerness, Maya clasps the buttons close on her own overall.
It is weird, the way someone’s presence can suddenly change the atmosphere of a place. How one’s soul can out of the blue begin to have such an importance. How Maya spends the first few minutes of the session, eagerly and almost desperately waiting for Lola to show up, and once she does, Maya can not help but smile.
Lola walks alongside the others, yet seeming just barely lost. She seems uncomfortable and retracted. Like a rose in the field of sunflowers. Shining, only differently and out of place.
It doesn’t take long for Lola to give in, and walk back to the only place of safety she can find. Back to Maya and the only face she feels familiar and at peace with.
Maya had almost expected it, yet it still made her heart race once Lola decided to shift path in her way.
“ You can’t live without me, admit it. “ Maya says, just with enough confidence, and with a teasing playfulness that they both have shared since the moment they first met.
“ Not at all. I just don’t like people. “
Lola replies then and Maya slowly bites down onto her lip and tilts her head down in a nod. Lola greets her with the same kind of independent energy, and Maya had expected nothing less.
“ I wouldn’t have guessed. “
Maya takes a breath and straightens her spine.
“ So, which category do you put me in? “ She asks, watching as Lola lets her eyes glance over the purple-haired girl before her shoulders shrugs.
“ People I know. “
Maya nods, “ I see. “
She accepts the answer, respectfully and well. Lola is new, they have only met twice, yet she places her as one of the people she does know. One of the people that makes her experience here just slightly easier, and Maya is more than happy to be that for her. To be her safety net in a sea of the unknown.
Maya keeps her eyes locked on Lola before tilting her head to the side. “ You coming? “ , she asks before walking off with Lola soon behind.
They walk in silence over the grass underneath their feet, until Maya suddenly stops.
“ Have you ever used a broadfork? “
She turns her attention back to Lola while picking up the broadfork from the ground.
Each week there is a new task to be done, yet by the expression covering Lola’s features, she does not seem more eager to this than to picking up trash.
“ Is that an actual question? “ Lola quirks a brow, making the corner of Maya’s lips pull in a hidden smile before she pushes the broadfork into the ground.
“ What you do is you put the thing in as deep as possible.. “ , She begins to explain, feeling Lola’s eyes on her as she does so.
“ You move back and forth like this. “
“ And you turn over. “
Maya shows the simple movements to the other girl, making sure that she explains it well enough for Lola to understand. Yet once she is done, she turns her attention back on Lola. Noticing how she almost had seemed to pay more attention to Maya than to the task she was doing.
Maya can feel her heart physically race by the sudden observation, although she is quick to change the focus back to what they were doing.
“ Go on, try. “ she says, and Lola does.
She steps forward, slowly grabbing the broadfork from Maya’s grip, and Maya gives her all the space she needs. Just watching from a few feet back how Lola makes an attempt to mimic Maya’s previous movements. How she moves clumsy and wrong in a failing attempt.
Maya does her best to not laugh, yet soon can not keep her body from doing so. A light laugh escapes her lips before Maya takes back the control of the situation.
“ Okay, that’s not working. “ , She begins while moving forward.
“ Wait, I’m gonna show you. “
She moves up close behind Lola, almost too close. To be honest, Maya had not planned to do so, however she is soon too far to step back.
Lola’s body is warm in front of her own. Her hands are just barely touching hers in a feeling that sends shivers down Maya’s spine. Maya tries not to think about how surprisingly good it feels to be so close to her, and instead forces herself to focus on the task they were doing.
“ Back and forth, like this. “
“ Little back and forth movements. Perfect. “ She murmurs, while almost rocking against Lola’s body.
Maya is not sure why Lola’s touch feels as good as it does. Maybe she has gone too long without some human contact and is just desperately devouring each small feeling of it. She tries not to think about it, and instead uses all of her strength and confidence to what they are doing.
“ And you move back. “ Maya slowly continues, before she tilts her head and glances up at Lola.
“ Is that clear? “
Her eyes gets stuck on the other girl. Her face so close that she can literally feel the heat from her body and smell the perfume from her clothes. However, the situation does not get better once Lola decides to glance back at her. Her face so close that Maya is able to see each detail of her face perfectly well.
A tension shoots with an electric energy as their eyes lock. A tension of flames and desire. Of curiosity and interest. A tension that Maya can not get herself to move away from. She is drawn to it, and even more so once Lola bashfully smiles back. A smile so sweet and genuine, a smile that covers most of her face bigger than Maya has ever seen it. That is when Maya truly sees it. The girl in front of her is insanely beautiful.
“ It’s fucking boring, isn’t it? “ Lola says then, and Maya is drawn from her daze. She quickly blinks back her eyes to reality and slowly but surely steps back from Lola’s space.
“ You’re right. “
She replies.
“ Next week we’ll go save whales. “
“ Can you swim? “
Lola shakes her head lightly, “ Not that well. “
Maya nods understanding before Lola slowly continues.
“ And next week might be complicated. “
Maya glances up, brows raising on top of her forehead in a silent question. Yet a question loud enough for Lola to hear.
“ It’s my last day. “ , she explains.
Maya can not deny the way her heart drops by the knowledge of Lola’s words. How she has only met her twice yet knowing that Lola will not be here anymore, makes her stomach feel sick. It is weird in the way it works. How Maya has been fine all her life without her , yet now can not imagine these Wednesdays alone.
“ Well, you’ll just have to join the NGO then. “ She tries to joke, tries to hide her emotions by the humor in her tone that is slightly built from an extreme seriousness.
“ No offense, but it’s not really my thing. “
Lola replies and Maya nods understanding. There is no surprise that Lola does not willingly want to continue with this, not a lot of people do, yet she can not deny the way her heart aches by the knowledge.
“ It’s nobody’s thing anyway, saving the planet.” She says, but Lola is fast to fill in.
“ Oh, but you’re actually in deep! “
A wide smile covers Lola’s lips, a smile that soon travels to Maya’s own. The comfortable playfulness and light teasing that they share, is something that Maya has never experienced with anyone else before.
It is something so comforting and comfortable that Maya has to force herself to change back the topic.
“ And a party on Friday, is that your thing? “ She asks bashful and sweet, gathering each bit of confidence and strength that she can find to ask the girl to the party.
Yet by Lola’s expression, Maya is not sure if she overstepped. Maybe Lola does not feel like she is on the level of hanging out outside of this small bubble that they’re in. Maybe this is all that their connection strives from.
“ I already have a party planned on Friday. “
Lola replies then, and Maya’s shoulders almost visibly shrinks. Disappointed and hurt. She is not sure why it affects her in the way that it does, maybe it is only because her mind takes her to the worst places by Lola’s rejection. To the places of loneliness and shame. To the hateful places that Maya is praying that Lola is not a part of.
She has dealt with homophobic people before, of people being uncomfortable by her sexuality. Of so called friends that turned on her because they were afraid that she would hit on them. She has experienced different kinds of homophobia from different kinds of people, but maybe she was just praying that Lola would not be one of those people.
“ What? “ Lola asks then, and Maya is pulled from her darkest thoughts.
“ What, what? “
She asks, and Lola shrugs.
“ I don’t know, you’re being weird all of sudden.”
Maya sighs by the words, loud from the heaviness they carry before she takes a breath to continue.
“ You know, when a lesbian invites you to a party, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to hook up with you. “
Maya pauses slowly, glancing up to watch Lola’s reaction. Watching as she keeps her eyes locked on her and listens interested.
“ It just means that she invites you to a party. “
Maya continues then, and Lola tilts her chin down in a small nod.
“ You know, that’s why I don’t like people. They judge so fast. “
“ Wait, what does that mean? “
Maya quirks a brow, confused by the sudden change of tone in Lola’s voice.
“ It means that I didn’t wait for you to show up to start sleeping with girls, Greta Thunberg. “
The previous playfulness that they had just shared, is suddenly replaced by a seriousness that Maya never expected. It takes her off guard by the way Lola lets out the words and almost lightly offends her. She does not take it to heart though, instead she becomes surprisingly intrigued by Lola’s statement.
She had never expected to hear those words escape her lips, and once Lola turns to walk away from the place, Maya can not help but stare.
Because maybe, just maybe, Maya does not know Lola at all as well as she first thought. Maybe there are deeper layers that Maya has yet to be familiar with, however this in particular, only made her interest rise higher.