To Fade Your Scars

As they sit on the plane, going over the case, Garcia‘s voice is heard through the computer in front of them, giving them all —but Hotch— a jump scare.

“Isn’t it funny, how with the right amount of turbulence, a plane could just fall out of the sky?” She says, before showing her face, and there was a huge grin spread across it, holding back a laugh.

“You tryna give us a heat attack, baby girl?” Morgan asked, cutting Reid off before he even started rambling facts about plane crashes, as they all —again, but Hotch— try to catch their breaths. Rossi grins at Reid because of the high pitched scream he gave, but no one else seemed to notice, at least if they did, they didn’t mention. JJ dropped the arm that she had subconsciously spread in front of Emily, in protective mode, and Hotch told them to calm down again (like the dad he is) motioning to Garcia, for her to speak, and she did.

“The autopsy report came back for the first victim, and its wild!”she emphasized, “there were traces of alcohol, about a week old, in her system, but her blood was all messed up...”

“Messed up how?” Spencer asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Well, for one, she had this weird liquid mixed with it, like some new drug that no one’s ever heard of before, they couldn’t even find compounds that matched any part of it...” she trailed off and they all gave a confused look.

“What? Can you tell for how long it’s been there?” Spencer asked in confusion, and Derek shot him a look.

“Ah! See, this is where it gets interesting, and by interesting I mean weird, and by weird I mean frea—“ she was cut of by Hotch.

“Garcia” He simply said, and she apologized.

“Right, sorry. No, we can’t tell, for sure, how long it’s been there, but, we can say that it was going to start multiplying, and taking over...”

Once again, they all stared at her in confusion.

“Wait, are you saying her blood was going to turn into this substance?” Reid asked, raising his eyebrows and she shook her head.

“Do we know anything about the other two victims’s autopsies?” JJ asked, and Garcia shook her head again, but this time she moved it side to side instead of up and down, like she’d done for Reid.

“Ok, when we land, Reid, you and Prentiss go to morgue. JJ, you and and Morgan go to the latest crime scene, and Rossi and I will get set up at the station.” Hotch ordered and none objectified.

*********

There’s an awkward silence in the car, as JJ and Morgan drive to the most recent crime scene. JJ’s behind the steering wheel, with Morgan in the passenger seat, and when her voice breaks the quiet, he jumps slightly in his seat, startled at the sudden noise.

“So...” she begins, “what’s up with Spence?” She asks, darting her eyes to him for a second, eyebrows furrowing, before turning back to the road.

“Oh... it’s just- uh... it’s nothing...” he tries to excuse.

“Wha- it cant be nothing!” She says, skeptically. “C’mon, Morgan! I know something’s definitely up with him... please...” she pleads, giving him puppy eyes, and he sighs.

“Fine... but you are not supposed to know this!”

“Don’t you trust me?” She responded playfully.

“God, Garcia’s gonna kill me if she finds out I told you first...” he whispers to himself. “Spencer came to my house last night, and...” he trailed off, remembering the events of the previous night. Remember what Spencer showed him. The fear spread across his face. The uncertainty lying beneath his words when Morgan fell silent. And what happened afterwards. Feeling the tip of Spencer’s fingers, freezingly dance across his skin, while their bodies sweat with heat. The perfect contrast. Just like his mocha skin, and Spencer’s pale one. Like his bulky frame, and Spencer’s skinny one. They were a perfect match, a perfect, contradicting match.

“And...” JJ said, noticing his silence.

“We slept together...” maybe if he focused on that, he wouldn’t have to tell her about Spencer’s more... private secret. “Just- whatever you do, don’t mention it until I’ve told Penelope, please!” He says, looking at her with raised brows.

“Ha! I knew it!” She grinned wildly, “hell, he came to work in your clothes, for god’s sake!” She was practically screaming in happiness, by now, and Derek couldn’t help a smile of his own. He and JJ had been friends since forever, it seems. If he didn’t know any better, he’d consider them best friends. He could tell this made her really happy, she loved him, and Spencer, so it was only natural for her to be happy for them.

“Ok, ok, settle down!” He said in between chuckles of his own. She kept mumbling about how she knew that Derek liked Spencer back, and they both had started laughing. “What about you, huh? Trouble in paradise got you running to the arms of Emily Prentiss, or something?” He said, growing a grin of his own. Her smile stared fading, however, and she cleared her throat, focusing her eyes back on the view in front of her. When Morgan noticed, he was quick to apologize.

“Shit, I’m sorry Jayje,” he put a hand on her shoulder sympathetically, “I didn’t know, is everything ok?” He asked, and she put her opposite hand on his, smiling sheepishly at him.

“Yeah... it’s all good...” she knew he didn’t believe her, and she also knew he meant no harm, he would never mean any harm to her, but it was still a—very—fresh wound.

“JJ-“ he was cut off by the woman next to him.

“Derek, please...” she said, as a tear escaped her eye. “Just— just please drop it!” She didn’t sound angry. No, she sounded—and looked—hurt. He rubbed his hand on her shoulder, and she leaned her head sideways, so that her cheeks were placed upon both their hands. He nodded, and gave her a simple ‘ok’ as they arrived at the crime scene.

*********

The drive to the morgue was calm, and Spencer and Emily sat in a comfortable silence, as they both swayed slightly side to side, to the jazz that was playing on the radio. It was comfortable, and welcoming. It’s been a while since Spencer and Emily have hung out— even though they weren’t really hanging out—just the two of them, and they both missed it.

“Hey” she said softly, looking at him for a second, before turning her eyes back to the road.

“Hey” he responded, mimicking her.

“How are you?” She asked, “I mean really, I noticed you’ve been a little quiet during these past few weeks, is everything ok?” She clarified upon noticing his confused expression. He sighed nervously before answering.

“Yeah, no- it’s- um... yeah, I’m good...” he knew he didn’t sound convincing, but he hoped she would drop it. Who was kidding, he knew Emily, probably better than anyone on the team, ok maybe not better than JJ, but JJ’s JJ. He knew she wasn’t gonna drop it until she got some answer, even if wasn’t the one she was looking for— as long as it wasn’t a lie. She could always tell when Spencer was lying. Even when she barely knew him at the time, Emily was the first one to notice something was up when he got addicted to dilaudid, she was always in his corner, and she knew he was always in hers.

“C’mon Spence,” she nudged him in the arm, playfully, “we’ve known each other for years, you know you can tell me anything!” She pressed lightly... He sighed, and dropped his head for a second before lifting it back up.

“God, I wish I could tell you Em...” he trailed off, and she dropped her smile, noticing his pupils dilating, ever-so-slightly, and puddles of water starting to form around his eyes. “I really wish I could, but it’s just-“ he cut himself off to sniff, a tear escaping his eye, as he stared blankly at the ceiling of the black SUV.

“I’m just not ready... Not yet.” He turned his head towards her, as he dropped it backwards onto the seat, and gave her a weak smile. She put a hand on his thigh, rubbing it up and down, in the means of comfort, and gave him a reassuring smile.

“You know I’m here whenever you are, right?” She asked, and he nodded ‘yes’ in response. “I’m in your corner, Spence,” she continued, “I am, and always will be in you corner!” She flickered her eyes between him and the road, and he removed her hand from his thigh, and intertwined their fingers instead.

“I know...” he trailed off.

“Good!”