Chapter 2
July 28, 1988 Westwood, California - elevation 338 feet (103 meters)
“No one understands the toll it takes on your psyche when you try to climb Everest and physically can’t make it to the summit. I don’t think people understand how hard it is to just walk away. You get so far and then have to abandon all those months of preparation and effort. It’s heartbreaking.” - Sarah Fortune in Mountain Climbing Magazine’s article “Taming the Wild Mountain” written by Caitlyn Kiramman
Caitlyn was frozen at the apartment door, hand trembling on the knob. She’d just left lunch with her mother and grandmother, discussing both her personal and professional future moving forward. While her mother Cassandra was patient and understanding, her grandmother was demanding and restless. She’d given Caitlyn an ultimatum - get married, have kids, or be blackballed.
Once Caitlyn was married to a man of Catherine’s choosing, she’d be given an ad-hoc position writing whatever articles were needed for one of Kiramman Media's multiple outlets. Upon the birth of her first child, preferably a girl but a boy would suffice, she’d be named Managing Editor in Chief at the paper or magazine of her choice. Finally, when her second child was born, she would be given a voting position on the Board of Directors of Kiramman Media.
That was the demand. There was no room for discussion or bartering. If she didn’t abide by her grandmother’s wishes, Catherine would ensure Caitlyn never worked a day in the world of journalism. She’d ensure no one would hire her granddaughter. Caitlyn’s very presence on any staff would be cancer.
So, the young woman surrendered and agreed to the terms. Her mother wasn’t pleased, but respected that Caitlyn was doing what was best for her career and her family. By ensuring she was involved in the management of the company, it meant a strong Kiramman woman would most likely be running the business for years to come.
Catherine had already spoken to her contacts and found her granddaughter a suitable husband, the son of an oil tycoon from Dallas named Jayce Tallis. He was a young, handsome man from a well to do family that could stand fervently by Caitlyn’s side. Neither would need the other’s money just what both their families demanded of them - an heir.
When she finally forced her hand to twist the knob, her breath caught at the sight of Vi sitting on the couch in only boxers and a white tank top. Much like she did every chance she could, Vi was reading a book. Everyone at UCLA had always assumed Vi was just another dumb jock coasting her way through classes so she could play sports. Yet, Caitlyn knew the truth. Vi was well-read and intelligent, her grades were excellent and her analytical problem solving skills rivaled Caitlyn’s. She’s earned her business degree with high honors. A few companies had even offered her well-paying positions in both LA and New York City, but Vi, she was still trying to figure out where life was going to lead her.
The dark red haired woman’s eyes sparkled like gemstones when they caught sight of Caitlyn walking through the door. Her blush pink lips curled into a gentle smile that was crooked and always made Caitlyn’s heart flutter.
“You’re home,” Vi commented with a reverence in her voice that twisted a knife in Caitlyn’s heart.
Kiramman didn’t respond verbally, opting instead to use physicality to show her appreciation and affection for the woman whose heart she was about to break. She strode forward, straddled Vi’s lap, and laced both her hands through the hair on the back of Vi’s head. Her lips connected with her lover’s in a needy, hungry kiss that sent shockwaves through both of their bodies. There was no hesitation on Vi’s part as she lowered her hands and freed Caitlyn’s upper body by removing her shirt.
“Someone’s needy,” Vi’s sultry voice mused.
Again, Caitlyn offered no response as her lips returned to Vi’s and she added her tongue to the equation. She pushed her hand under Vi’s shirt and around her breast, squeezing simply to feel the skin and muscle under her palm. When she felt Vi’s hand slowly migrate toward the waistband of her shorts, Caitlyn finally cracked.
Vi pulled away, catching the sounds and feelings of Caitlyn’s sob. “Cait, what’s wrong?” Worry decorated her face and voice. She’d never seen her girlfriend crumble so easily.
“I’m…” the words were stuck in her throat, latching on to her larynx as though they clung to a tree during a monsoon.
“Whatever it is you can tell me,” Vi pleaded with her as each word sounded more desperate than the last.
“I’m leaving LA. I’m heading back home.”
“Okay. I mean I don’t care to move. You know there’s nothing keeping me here.” Vi was trying her best to be understanding and soothing, but what she didn’t know was her heart was about to be shattered.
“No, you don’t understand. My grandmother is forcing my hand. I’m going home to get married.”
The words hung in the air like smoke from a wildfire. Vi’s body went rigid, muscles stuck in a tense flexed position suddenly. Her greyish light blue eyes suddenly darkened from what were warm and welcoming orbs of joy to being anger and hate filled balls of fire.
She huffed. “So that’s it.”
“Vi, let me explain,” Caitlyn begged to be given a chance.
“What’s there to explain? I’ve been your dirty little secret for nearly three years.” Vi’s voice had gone cold, as her demeanor. Her hands were no longer holding on to Cait as they instead rested on the couch beside her hips in balled up fists.
“Vi, you have always been more than a dirty little secret,” Caitlyn’s voice was strained, pain attached to every word as tears still gently fell from her eyes.
“Yea, sure. I was just another notch on your bedpost.”
“I love you.” The words meant everything to her but she didn’t know how to show Vi she meant them. Because when Caitlyn looked at Vi, she knew the woman no longer believed her.
“Then why?”
“It’s business. My grandmother is forcing me.”
“Ahhhh, yes. Business. As if I could ever compete with business.” The word oozed from Vi’s mouth like sludge. She forced herself up, pushing Caitlyn from her lap. The latter watched as Vi fumbled around the apartment looking for something, but she wasn’t sure what.
Then she realized it was shoes and her keys.
“Vi, wait. Can we talk about this?” Another desperate plea to hold to the woman she loved a little longer.
Vi opened the door, initially planning on walking out without saying anything. Last minute she decided she wanted the final word. “I’m sorry I could never be enough.”
“Vi…” it was one last whispered appeal through tears.
“Good bye, Caitlyn.” The door shut and that was the last time Caitlyn Kiramman saw Violet Atlas.
It was the last time at least until she showed up on her porch with Sarah Fortune, a savvy business woman and apparent partner at Atlas Adventures. Her mother had informed her she’d made contact with the woman, her intentions of gaining more traction for a small magazine she’d purchased on a whim called Mountain Climbing Magazine.
Cassandra had no idea what made it so appealing to her. Perhaps it was the specific audience it would bring to Kiramman Media or perhaps it was the love of mountaineering she knew her daughter had buried years ago when she was forced to marry and have children. Either way, she wanted to give it to Caitlyn as well as the opportunity to fulfill her dream of Everest.
The now head of Kiramman Media worked out a deal with Atlas that they’d be the official guiding expedition company of the magazine, receiving exposure, funding, and free advertising as long as Caitlyn had a spot on their next expedition.
“I’ll don’t one better, Cassandra. Caitlyn can join Atlas as a partner as long as no other guiding company gets to advertise with any Kiramman Media outlet.”
The deal was struck and Cassandra was certain her daughter would be ecstatic.
“Absolutely not. I’m not partnering with Atlas.” Caitlyn had fumed when her mother called her in for the meeting.
“You will. Whatever history you have with Violet will be set aside. This is a splendid business opportunity for us. It’s a new arena which we can cash in on. Guided tours of Everest and other mountains like it are a niche market and if we get ahead of the game it will be a very lucrative opportunity for us.”
“You mean allow our flag to fly at every expedition base camp so people will read our media more,” Caitlyn fired back.
“Precisely. You always did catch on quick,” her mother replied.
“And I’m just supposed to ignore the fact my ex is the founder of Atlas?”
“Surely you and Vi will be able to set aside your differences for the betterment of business.”
Business. The word consistently haunted Caitlyn. “I’ll see what I can do.”
It wasn’t until she stood in the hotel bar that evening after the explosion with Vi that she would get the opportunity. Her ex sat on a stool, swaying back and forth, her system ravaged by alcohol. Caitlyn watched as she asked for another drink and when the bartender refused, Vi angrily huffed and threw her credit card down to pay. Before the card could be charged, Caitlyn made her way forward to stop the payment.
“Here, allow me to cover her tab,” she said, handing her card to the employee.
“I don’t need your money,” Vi hastily replied, doing her best to avoid looking at the woman beside her.
“I can write it off as a business expense.” Caitlyn felt instant regret with her word choice.
“Right. Business.” Vi’s speech slurred and her body lurched forward as she tried to stand from the stool. Her hand frantically latched on to the lip of the bar to steady herself. When she sensed she was upright, her feet started moving forward.
“Where are you going?” Caitlyn hissed out, annoyed to not even get a simple thank you from the woman.
“To find somewhere to sell me more beer!” the woman proclaimed.
Caitlyn’s hand reached forward to grab Vi’s before she could stop herself. The other woman’s eyes fell to the connection and snarled, jerking her hand free. “Absolutely not.”
“You’re drunk and don’t need to be traipsing around a city you don’t know,” Caitlyn retorted.
“Wow, okay MOM.” Vi’s speech seemed to get worse the angrier she got but the intention was pretty clear. She was not appreciative of Caitlyn’s presence.
“Let me get you to your room and I’ll leave you alone for the evening.”
“How about forever?” When Vi replied, her voice lowered and had an underlying hurt sound to it. The words struck Caitlyn in the heart, causing a familiar tinge of pain that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget how it felt.
She didn’t respond, instead opting to wrap Vi’s arm around the back of her neck to help guide her body to her room.
“What’s your room number?” Caitlyn inquired as her finger hovered over elevator buttons.
“Trying to get in my pants, Cupcake?”
Caitlyn nearly stopped breathing as she felt blood rushing to her cheeks. “What’s your room number?” She forced the words from her mouth once more, even though her mind began to remember what the woman leaning up against her looked like naked, above and below her.
Vi let out a dry chuckle before replying, “516.”
Finally, she was able to usher Vi into her hotel room, all but launching Vi from her grasp. When the door shut behind her, a slight panic filled her body as her mind began to imagine things they’d once done together. Her eyes had been focused on anywhere but Vi. When her head looked up and saw those familiar eyes staring at her, her mind went blank.
“Cait…” Vi prayed the name into existence from her lips. The woman took a step forward and gently placed her hands on Caitlyn’s hips, sending a shiver up her spine from the touch. Caitlyn swallowed hard and closed her eyes, praying for self-control or death, whichever would be easier.
“I’m sorry.” It was all she could say and wanted to say for so many years. When her eyes opened, she saw the tears.
“I hate you.”
“I know,” Caitlyn whispered. “I do too.”
She expected Vi to walk away, to turn around and leave her standing in the hotel room entryway with her self-loathing and despair. Instead, she was forced into the door as Vi pushed her body forward until Caitlyn could feel the heat radiating from Vi’s lips. “All I ever wanted was to haunt your dreams and yet all I got was you haunting mine.” The words were an admission of a painful curse that sober Vi would have never discussed.
“It’s your face I see at night,” Caitlyn hated the admission but it was true. Neither had apparently been able to get over the other.
The kiss was hard, uncaring, and filled with rage and hate. Caitlyn desperately wanted to dislike it, but she couldn’t. Tears burned her eyes and Vi’s lips seemed to be desperately trying to suck the life out of her. When Vi’s hands started trailing their way under her shirt, Caitlyn pushed Vi back.
“I can’t,” but it wasn’t because she didn’t want to.
Vi wiped her mouth before saying, “I need you to leave before we do something neither of us wants.”
If Vi only knew how desperately Caitlyn wanted to give in.
It was eleven that night when Jayce found Caitlyn sitting in their sunroom, glass of red wine in hand, staring off into the darkness of the cool January evening. He leaned in and kissed the top of her head, as he did every evening he arrived home.
“You’re home late,” Caitlyn declared in between long sips from her wine glass.
“Yea, I know. I’m sorry. There was a blowout at a well in Colorado and I had to wait until I got confirmation no one was hurt. I tried to call, but Stacy said you were out.”
Caitlyn hummed against the rim of the wine glass before providing her whereabouts. “I ended up at the hotel.”
Jayce’s eyebrow curled up, “Oh really? Anything I should be jealous of.”
“She kissed me.”
Jayce barked out a laugh. They loved each other, but not as a husband and wife should. Since their wedding, their relationship had grown into a deep connection between the two of them, but it never went further than that of close friends. Yes, they had children that were biologically theirs, but it was only out of necessity. If they both had not been required to have a child, they most likely would have never taken their relationship to any sort of sexual level.
And they hadn’t since they’d found out Caitlyn was pregnant with their son.
“Does this mean you want to divorce me for infidelity?” Caitlyn quipped.
The man let out another laugh. “I think we both know I have no room to judge with that. Which, by the way, Mel sends her love.”
Caitlyn couldn’t help but chuckle. Such an odd relationship they had. “Jayce, I can’t work with her and my mother has forced this upon me. I leave for Everest near the end of March and the woman still loathes my very existence.”
“Are you still alive and breathing?”
Caught off guard, Caitlyn huffed, “Yes.”
“Then she still loves you,” he replied through a smile.
Caitlyn let out a dry laugh. When her wine glass was empty, she refilled it once more. After one long swig, she announced, “I think it’s time I give you your freedom, Jayce. You deserve happiness. My grandmother’s dead so it’s not like she has any power over me anymore. We’ve both fulfilled our duties to our family. You should be able to find a wife who will love you in the manner I cannot.”
“Cait…”
“It’s not..it’s not because of Vi being back. I’ve been thinking about this since after I found out I was pregnant with Xander. I wanted to get him past his second birthday before I brought it up.” The words were matter of fact, devoid of emotion. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the events of the day, but Caitlyn felt drained and now seemed like a good time to bring it up.
“I don’t know what to say,” Jayce was shocked and yet, relieved.
“Just promise me if something happens to me on Everest, you’ll still allow the kids to visit my parents.”
“Cait, of course. I would never keep the kids from them or you for that matter.” His tone was sincere and Caitlyn knew he wanted this just as much as she did.
“I’ll have my lawyer draw the papers tomorrow. No alimony. 50/50 custody.”
“Whatever child support you need, we’ll work it out.”
Jayce placed his hand on Caitlyn’s knee, meeting her eyes with a smile. “Thank you.” He poured himself a whiskey from the bar and returned to the seat beside his wife. Before he took a drink he remarked, “At least we got two great kids out of it.”
Caitlyn smiled and lifted her glass, “I’ll drink to that.”