She remembers being nine, and thinking Allie had the prettiest hair.
She also remembers that Harry was happy that summer, and it seemed like it’d been forever since she saw him smile that much. And she’d been sad, too, when their dad died, but she knows now that she was too little to really process it in the same way he had to. He had more memories. And she knows now that there are really awful aspects to that, too; like, she missed out on getting to know their dad in the same way Harry got to, and she’s a little bitter about that and maybe always will be. And then Harry was just sad. Like, all the time. And he got a little less sad month by month, but it was always still there, like a cloud or some weight on him that she could sense even then, even at nine.
But that summer, Allie would bring them candies, and make Harry laugh, and her hair was always golden in the sun, too. It’s like, a formative memory Katie has. God, when she’d started doing her own hair when she was around 11, she spent ages just trying to get hers to do what Allie’s did and was so pleased with herself when she finally mastered it.
And Allie’s fingernails were always polished different colours, and one day when Harry was reading some book Allie told him he had to know so she could debate with him, or something, they sat at the breakfast bar in the beach house and Allie’d painted Katie’s nails watermelon pink while Harry read and twisted his hair on his finger.
Anyway, what she means is that she liked Allie from the start. When she was a kid and Allie was nice to her and treated her like a real person, not a child, and made Katie’s brother happy.
She was too young to understand, really, when they broke up the first time (well, the only time, so far) and was mad at Harry for not being friends with Allie anymore. She understands now why he’d been a little pissed at her for saying that. At very least, she recognizes that it wasn’t exactly helpful when he was heartbroken, or whatever. But like, she was 10, so it hardly seems like her fault.
She also remembers this past winter when their mom was getting married and he brought some girl to the wedding. She’d been blonde haired and blue eyed and Katie made a comment about how he had a type and he told her to shut the fuck up. He’s rarely ever that mean to her. So all that really did was confirm that she was right, if she’s being honest.
All this to say, when she walks into the candy shop and sees Allie there, she thinks this summer is about to get interesting. She asks what candies she should get to take home, and Allie says something about Harry liking the lemon ones. Katie doesn’t say anything about the way Allie’s blushing a little.
Yeah. Definitely interesting.
… … …
“Where’ve you been?” she asks when she’s sitting in the living room on her phone and he walks in late. Harry shoves her legs off the couch and sits down, reaches for the remote for the television. Their mom and Geoff are in bed already.
“None of your business,” he says, and Katie rolls her eyes and puts her feet on his lap, because like, she was also here first and he can cut it out. “Nowhere.”
He’s also a bad liar.
Katie goes back to her phone, looks at her own Instagram page to try and decide what to post tomorrow.
She says, “She looks good, right?” and Harry sighs. She looks up just in time to see his jaw twitch from how he’s clenching his teeth. She just laughs at him and shakes her head. “That’s fine. Don’t say anything.”
“Katie, what’s your problem?” he asks, but he’s almost smiling and she just tilts her head and bats her lashes. “Yeah, she looks good. She always looks good.” She scoffs out a laugh and wishes he didn’t insist on watching such boring shit on TV. “She said you grew up pretty.”
Okay, that’s like, really nice, actually.
“Duh,” she says, and Harry laughs out loud and turns to look at her.
“Sounds like something I’d say.”
She slides down the couch a bit, sets her phone on her stomach. “I never got why you broke up.”
He hesitates a moment, like he wants to actually talk to her about it, or something, but then just says, “You were 10. Of course you didn’t.”
Katie rolls her eyes, looks at the TV to this stupid documentary he’s watching, and then leans up and takes the remote from him. He doesn’t stop her.
She’s kind of annoyed that he’s only here for a couple weeks. She feels like they never hang out anymore. It makes sense, obviously, because he’s got school, and whatever, and his own place now. She’s trying to just be happy he’s here at all, because she knows how much work it took to get him to agree to even this. For a guy who has more than four pairs of boat shoes, he sure spends a surprisingly little amount of time near the water. And no, he didn’t appreciate when she said that, either, but like, someone had to.
And he’s here, isn’t he?
… … …
Geoff likes to cook, which is kind of awesome, because he’s good at it and it means dinners are usually awesome. Sometimes Katie helps, but mostly she just sits on a stool at the breakfast bar and talks with him and her mom while they putter around and whatever. Sometimes they have music on. It’s kind of becoming a fun part of this summer so far. She doesn’t really want to admit that Geoff is kind of great. Mostly because she knows Harry’s got a different opinion. He doesn’t dislike him, but he’s still not, like, excited about it or whatever. He’s asked her before if everything’s cool with Geoff living with them, and like, whatever. Katie’s known Geoff for almost three years at this point, and he’s lived with them for a year now. He’s nice to her and he makes their mom smile. And he’s teaching Katie to drive, too, which is awesome.
She’s grating cheese for tacos because he asked and she’s not going to say no and be rude, and Harry comes in through the back door from the beach. He’s grinning like an idiot and Katie wants to laugh, because he didn’t tell anyone but her that he was hanging out with Allie today, but his happiness is written all over his stupid face. If she’s not mistaken, there’s a little lip gloss there, too.
He leans his elbows on the counter and Geoff asks him, “What’s up?”
“Uh,” Harry starts, and Katie starts paying more attention. “I was thinking maybe I’d stick around a bit longer.” Their mom stops rinsing lettuce, turns the tap off and turns to him, smile on her face. “If that’s okay.”
“Of course,” ther mom says, and Geoff smiles and nods, even though it’s like, not really for him to say.
Katie catches Harry’s eye and can almost see him begging her not to say anything, but, well, she has to, right?
“Oh my god, that’s so nice that you want to spend more time with your family.”
“Katie,” he groans, shaking his head. Geoff and their mom are either clueless or pretending to be.
She laughs. “Why don’t you just tell us how it’s going with Allie?”
He pins her with a look like he’s truly annoyed that she’s said anything. Geoff and their mom look at him like they want confirmation that that’s what this is about.
She’ll give him credit. He says, “Good enough to stick around and see what happens.”
Katie tosses some cheese into her mouth and smiles, satisfied.
… … …
They watch a movie in her room on the Fourth of July while the caterers and planners are setting up. She should worry about makeup, or whatever, but she doesn’t really care, either. Everyone coming is old and boring, and she has like, two friends who’ll be here with their parents, and both of them won’t care if her face isn’t like, flawless. She knows Allie’s coming later, too, but they have a lot of time to kill. Katie convinces him to go get them snacks, and she’s a little surprised when he passes her a vodka cooler. But he’s told her before that if she does drink, he hopes she’s not a moron about it, so whatever. It’s not like she’s gonna get into any trouble at her own house, at like noon, before a party she’s got to be at that their mom is hosting. Sitting with her brother sipping this thing while he nurses a beer isn’t the worst, you know?
Their mom got her this blue dress that feels too on the nose, so she asks Harry if he thinks it’d be really shitty of her to wear something totally different. He laughs and says it’s up to her, but if she doesn’t wear what was picked for her, she’ll have to deal with the consequences after.
His phone lights up with a text from Allie and Katie looks in her closet to see if there’s anything else that’s suitable. She asks him why he didn’t have to get his wardrobe approved ahead of time, but she already knows the answer. He’s 24 and he’s a dude. If either of those things were true for her, she could do whatever she wanted, too.
She wears the stupid blue dress.
She also thinks it’s bullshit later, when she sees Allie and Harry talking close to one another and then Allie leads him into the house. She knows she can’t blow this thing off. She’s got no excuse. She asks her friends if they want to go to the beach, but they don’t want to get in shit for disappearing. Katie rolls her eyes and finds them space in the shade and ignores her friends talking about how hot her brother is, or whatever. Because gross. And she says, “He’s got a girlfriend,” which feels like it might not be true, because she doesn’t actually know what he and Allie are calling this thing they’re obviously jumping into really fast.
Her friend says, “Isn’t she like, a local?” as if that’s a bad word, or something, and Katie gives her a look of pure judgment.
“First of all, no. Second of all, don’t be classist.”
Later, when the five of them - her, Harry, Allie, Geoff and mom - are in the kitchen picking away at leftover cake straight off the serving dish, Allie’s talking about some Supreme Court ruling or whatever with Geoff. Harry’s looking at her like he’s impressed, when he isn’t just like, smiling and trying to eat cake without the icing like some kind of freak. Katie’s always figured Allie was super smart, but hearing her go toe to toe with Geoff like this is kind of super impressive. Katie thinks their mom thinks so, too.
Harry slides his gin and tonic over to Katie as they talk, gives her a little look as if it’s a secret even though everyone else can see.
“She’s smarter than you,” Katie whispers. He chuckles a little. Their mom hears, too, and just smiles softly.
“I know,” Harry says back. Katie sips her drink instead of eating more cake.
She sort of didn’t expect him to admit it. It’s crazy how Allie brings out this totally other side of him.
… … …
She’s craving chocolate, which happens often enough and she gives in almost every time. Especially in summer, when the candy shop is right there and she can just walk in and get some chocolate peanut clusters, which are sort of her favourite. But she’s wondering if, today she should branch out and maybe get just a dark chocolate bar to go with her iced chai latte. Maybe she’ll ask Janine or Allie what she should get. They always have good suggestions.
When she walks into the shop with her friends following behind her, she’s not exactly surprised to see Harry standing there, leaning on the counter with a legit mug of coffee in front of him like he’s been here long enough for someone - Janine probably - to offer him something to drink. He’s so fucking boring, honestly. He’s seriously lucky Allie’s around or he’d be just pathetic. She’s not sure, sometimes, if the fact he follows her around like this isn’t a little pathetic, too. Except Katie knows he’s doing it because he’s like, seriously got feelings for her and not just because he’s got nothing better to do. He wants to be here because he likes Allie. So that makes her feel bad for thinking he’s just got nothing better to do.
“Oh, thank god,” Allie says, and then puts her hands on the counter and smiles at Katie. “Can you please get him out of here?”
Katie laughs and shakes her head. “If he’s not listening to you, he’s not gonna listen to me.”
“True,” Harry says, and then gives Allie this stupid smile he probably thinks is cute, or something. “I’m just here talking about how pretty she is, even in her little work apron, and she’s getting all embarrassed.”
“Stop,” Allie says, but Katie thinks she doesn’t actually mean it, okay? Allie continues the task she was doing, wrapping lollipops with these little plastic bags and a heat thing that seals them off. It’s like, weirdly satisfying to watch. “If you cost us business I’m gonna ask you to make up the difference.”
Harry grins. Katie hears her friends, behind her, whispering about him. Annoying. And like, gross. He’s old.
“You could just go stand outside and attract all kinds of attention,” he says. Okay, that one makes Katie laugh.
She reaches for three chocolate bars, one each for her and her friends, and honestly those lollipops are cute, so she gets three of those, too, and then she’s standing next to her brother. She bats her lashes at him.
“If you’re being this disruptive, at least you could pay,” she says, and he rolls his eyes, but reaches for his wallet. She’s honestly surprised that worked, but isn’t going to complain about it for a second.
“I’m not being disruptive,” he says, handing over some cash. Allie is studiously trying to ignore the way he’s looking at her. Which is kind of hilarious. “I just think she’s cute when she blushes.”
Katie laughs softly, shaking her head, and gives Allie a look. Because like, good luck. He’s clearly in a mood.
“See ya, Allie. Thank you.”
She deliberately doesn’t thank Harry. She hands her friends what she got for them and they say, “Bye Harry,” like they’re trying to…
Katie holds the door open so she’s the last one out. Allie’s laughing and teasing him about Katie’s friends’ reactions to him. Katie absolutely sees that he’s the one blushing, and she’s smiling as she leaves.
… … …
“Leave it to Harry to have the same fling twice,” their mom says, laughing, and Katie looks at Harry. He’s just looking at his plate, but he’s also not moving.
She watches his eyes lift first, then his whole head, and then he puts his fork down, and like, oh shit. Katie can feel the tension and it’s super uncomfortable.
“It’s not a fling,” he says evenly, like it’s a thing he wants to make really clear and also put her in her place for saying. “If you think it’s a fling, you haven’t been paying attention.”
Katie presses her lips together and lets her eyes slide over to Geoff’s. He gives her a look, too, like they both know this is a conversation they’d really rather not be here for. It seems like it has nothing to do with them.
“I didn’t…”
Harry tilts his head, leans back in his chair. Oh shit. That’s his ‘I’m about to be a fucking brat’ stance. Katie knows it well. (Who do you think she learned it from?)
“You did mean it, you’re just wrong. And it wasn’t a fling before, either. She came to our house for Christmas.”
Katie remembers that. It was a good Christmas. Technically the day after, but still. They’d all given Allie gifts and she’d brought Christmas baking and flowers and fancy seasonal chocolates from Janine and Libby.
“I’m sorry,” their mom says, and Katie looks at Geoff again. They both - they all, really - know that their mom’s least favorite thing is admitting she’s wrong. “I was trying to make a joke. It was rude.”
Harry picks up his fork again. “I have feelings for Allie,” he says, and it’s less of like, a confession and more of an explanation, or something. Like he sort of wants to make sure their mom never says something like this again. “It’s serious.”
“Okay, honey,” their mom says all genuinely. “Then I’m happy for you. I really like her. I think she’s a good match for you.”
Harry doesn’t say anything, but if Katie had to guess, she’d assume he wanted to say something about not needing her approval or permission. Katie knows that feeling, but also knows how nice it is when you get it.
… … …
Katie just thinks that if you fall in love with the same person this hard twice, that probably means you should just freakin’ go for it. She can tell how serious they are about each other. It’s actually a little disgusting how lovey dovey they are. Geoff calls it sweet, one morning when Harry grabs a bagel on his way out and says he’s spending the day with Allie. Katie smiles into her bowl of Cheerios when their mom says something about liking to see him this happy.
So it’s not even like she’s playing matchmaker. They’re already matched.
She talks to both of them because she’s bored and it seems fun to meddle. What she finds, though, is like, just confirmation of what she’d suspected. They’re absolutely idiots for each other, and even though it’s not as though they’ve been casual like, even a little bit, it seems like they’re both afraid to just admit it, or whatever. To each other. Because they sort of admitted it to her pretty easily. Maybe their past has something to do with why they’re both acting like they’re scared, or something.
Then she sees him at this incredibly stupid party their mom and Geoff host, and he’s got his hand on Allie’s back like she’s a freaking prize, or something, and he’s introducing her to a bunch of people and talking about how smart she is and what she does, and Katie just rolls her eyes. He’s so transparent and he doesn’t even know it.
When she tells him that, later, when she’s getting more food and he’s refilling his water glass, he just gives her this goofy grin and says, “I know, I just don’t care.”
She says, “Ugh, just get married or whatever already,” and Harry laughs and steals a slider off her plate. She wishes that had bugged him more. He’s a sappy asshole and it’s like, gross.
… … …
She overhears them saying they love each other, which feels voyeuristic and weird. But it’s not like she’s being nosey or anything. She just came into the kitchen to get a popsicle and Harry’s standing there with Allie between him and the counter and he says, “I love you,” and Allie says, “I love you, too,” and Katie proceeds like she didn’t just hear that. They don’t even move away from each other, so maybe they wouldn’t care. That’d be on brand for them, honestly.
They’re leaving tomorrow afternoon to go back home, and Harry’s heading out in the morning. Allie’s here for another couple days, she thinks, before she’s going back to Rhode Island. Katie’s going to miss her. She wants to sort of just leave the kitchen without acknowledging them, but she also thinks maybe this could be the last time she sees Allie and doesn’t want to not say a proper goodbye.
“Hey, um,” she says, and both Harry and Allie glance over at her. She tosses her popsicle wrapper in the trash. She got the last orange one. Thank god. “If I don’t see you, have a safe drive back.”
Harry smiles at her and then Allie.
“I’m gonna miss you,” Allie says, then moves over and they hug. Katie doesn’t want to look at her brother’s stupid face. God, why does she feel like she’s 9 again? “We’re trying to sort out Thanksgiving, so if I don’t see you before then, maybe…”
“Okay,” Katie says, and she knows she’s smiling. This is stupid. “That sounds awesome, even if it’s like, months away.” Harry looks to his feet. “I mean, if you can manage dealing with this asshole until then, good for you.”
“Katie,” he groans, and Allie just laughs and turns her head to look at him, her hair doing this really pretty thing as she moves.
Katie laughs. “Bye Allie. And you’re welcome. I totally masterminded this whole thing.” She waves at them with her hand and Harry rolls his eyes, looking stupid. Allie smiles, gives him this little look that seems to be communicating something Katie isn’t up to speed on. “I knew he’d be an idiot if I told him I saw you, so. Basically I’m the best sister.”
Harry purses his lips, blinks at her. She waves and laughs as she leaves the kitchen, with Allie calling out, “Bye, Katie,” behind her. And then, “Thank you!” and Katie smiles and starts eating her popsicle before it melts.
… … …
Okay, so there’s Thanksgiving, and then there’s Christmas, and then Harry goes to the beach house for spring break, which is like...He’s not fooling anyone; even though he doesn’t say Allie’s going to be there, at least not to Katie, they’re not stupid.
For Katie’s 16th birthday, Allie and Harry both come and stay with her and mom and Geoff for the weekend. Her mom and Geoff get her a BMW just like Harry got, except hers is black because that’s obviously superior. Allie laughs and says that for her sweet 16 she got red roses, a gold bracelet and a mani pedi. Honestly, Katie would’ve been fine with that, okay? She didn’t ask for a car. Though she did know she’d get one, and didn’t like, tell them not to.
Allie gets her a really adorable necklace that has a little glass chocolate bar charm on it, and Katie isn’t crying, or anything, it’s just really thoughtful and she loves it, that’s all.
… … …
She’s literally zero percent surprised when he casually drops that Allie’s gotten a job in DC as she finishes her PhD and is moving in with him.
“Oh good. Now you can be a sappy piece of shit full time,” Katie says, and her mom says her name like she’s disappointed, or something.
Harry just grins like an idiot and says, “I know.”
… … …
She ends up staying with them for like five days when she’s in DC visiting schools. She’s honestly been thinking of just saying fuck the Ivy League and going to like, Ohio, or something. When she tells Harry this, he scoffs and looks at her like she’s insane and says, “Katie, we’re not Ohio people.”
Allie’s ensuing line of questioning on what that means and why he’s being elitist is sort of hilarious. But also, you know, she doesn’t want to actually go to Ohio. This whole process is just stressing her out.
“You should consider Brown,” Allie says as she makes dinner. No, that’s not accurate. Harry’s making dinner and Allie’s like, getting in his way and bugging him, but he likes her too much to tell her to move or stop.
Without thinking, Katie replies, “I think mom would kill me if I went to Brown.” Shit. She grimaces and it’s Harry who looks pissed, and Allie just smiles softly. “I didn’t mean...I know it’s a good school.”
“I’m not offended,” Allie says. Harry mumbles that he is, but Allie just rolls her eyes even though he’s not looking. “I also think you’re kind of onto something, you know.” Allie tosses a piece of cherry tomato into her mouth. It’s from the salad Harry made that he asked for her help with, and her contribution was halving tomatoes. “You don’t have to go to an Ivy. Especially if you’re considering medicine.”
God, she wishes she hadn’t mentioned a single thing about medicine. Now it’s all anyone talks about. She’s not even 100% sure she wants to be a doctor, she just doesn’t have any other ideas of what she wants to be.
“I could take a gap year.”
Harry mutters, “Jesus Christ,” as he tends to the pasta sauce, or whatever, and Katie shares a look with Allie. That was a total joke, but even at 17 she still likes bugging him. “Mom will cry. It’ll be a whole fuckin’ thing.”
He turns around and Allie’s leaning on the counter, her brow raised, and Katie’s just smiling at him. God, it still feels so good to catch him like that. He can be so gullible.
“I’ll probably go to Harvard,” she says, and then reaches for her water glass. Allie laughs out loud and gets the wine from the counter and three glasses. Sweet.
“You two are unbelievable,” she says, and Katie and Harry just look at each other and then back to her. “You realize how ridiculous you are? Like, oh no, which fancy school will I settle on?”
Harry puts his hand on his hip, holding a wooden spoon. He legit has a towel over his shoulder. Katie’s not sure she’ll ever get used to seeing them so like, comfortable and domesticated and normal. They’re like, boring people with lives and jobs that are totally routine, and they like it.
“And you’re a poor kid who ended up at Brown on merit alone?” he asks, and Allie narrows her eyes at him, sticks out her tongue.
“I definitely got into Brown ‘cause I’m brilliant,” she says, and Katie laughs, knowing that’s totally true. Allie’s maybe the smartest person she knows. “And unlike the two of you, I’ve got the student loans to prove it’s just not that easy for everyone.”
Okay, her and Harry go quiet a minute. Privilege, checked. He finally nods and Katie lets her lips quirk a bit.
She says, “Ew, loans,” to break the tension and Allie smiles and threatens to throw the wine cork at her.
… … ...
The summer she’s 19, she kisses a girl for the first time, and then like, absolutely freaks out about it to a degree that makes her feel like she’s losing her mind. It’s not new, okay? Her attraction to girls. Women are just like, pretty? And guys are, too. Attractive, or whatever. And obviously she’s not an idiot and knows it isn’t either or, and she’s fine with that in theory, but she’s also like, scared, because she doesn’t know how any of this would go over with her family. God, she’s obviously not even ready to talk about it. And she doesn’t think they’d do anything crazy like kick her out, or whatever. She just worries her mom would be one of those people who’s like, ’gay people are fine when they’re not my kid’, or something. Then she feels like an asshole for not thinking better of her mom.
She needs chocolate.
Libby and Janine are in the shop, which like…God, she could’ve thought this through a little more, couldn’t she? She loves these two, but right now she just wants some chocolate and to not have to think about her like, identity crisis, or whatever.
Two weeks later, Allie and Harry show up for a two week vacation. And it’s a true vacation, apparently. Harry has one meeting on the first day and then turns his work phone off and promises not to check his email. Katie isn’t stupid and knows he’s saying that out loud because he promised Allie, or something, and is trying to be accountable.
They like, disappear the first night and come back smelling like saltwater and greasy food, and Katie thinks those two have a fucking weird fascination with the pier that really feels like none of her business. She’s sipping a mojito because she’s allowed to drink at home and she wants to, and she’s really just trying to watch these idiots on Selling Sunset be messy because it makes her feel better about herself, or something.
“What’s with you?” Harry asks, sitting next to her on the sofa. He takes her glass, has a sip, and hands it back. You’d think this grown ass man would act like less of a fucking child, but here they are.
“Nothing,” she says, and Allie comes back into the room with two bottles of beer. Katie doesn’t miss the wink Harry throws her. Gross. Harry goes back to watching Katie, and like, if he wants to ask a legitimate followup question and push her, she might answer. She just isn’t sure he has the emotional depth. “What?”
“Katie.” Yeah, she’s gonna ignore him. She stupidly feels like crying. It’s been two weeks of her moping around - she’ll admit it - and no one else really noticing. Well, her mom told her to cut the attitude when she was a little shitty at dinner a few days ago, but other than that… He tries again, gently this time. “Katherine.”
He only ever uses her full name when he’s like, actually being a good person and trying to be supportive, or whatever. Their mom uses it when Katie’s in shit. It’s a weird difference that’s super noticeable to literally everyone.
“I’m trying to watch this show and you keep talking. Don’t irritate me and then pretend you’re not,” she says.
Allie catches her eye, gives her this soft look like she just knows there’s something Katie wants to talk about, and like, she just really needs to ignore that right now, okay?
But then Allie says, “Let’s go for a walk,” and reaches for Katie’s hand, and Harry’s looking confused or offended to be left off the invite, or whatever.
Allie gives him another one of those looks like she’s communicating something without having to say it. Katie’s honestly terrified because she knows Allie’s going to tell Harry anything they talk about, but...God, maybe she won’t, right? Like, at this point, Katie’s known Allie practically half her life and there’s got to be some kind of loyalty at this point, hasn’t there?
They end up on the beach with their drinks, which is kind of nice, and it’s dark out so they walk slow and don’t go far. Allie doesn’t even ask anything or talk or push her. Katie sort of loves that. It’s absolutely what makes her want to open up, finally.
“I kissed my friend,” she says.
Allie lets out a soft, “Oh,” like she’s relieved it’s not more serious. Wait for it, Katie thinks. “Been there.”
“No,” Katie laughs, shaking her head. Her hair falls in her face and she pushes it over her shoulder and glances at Allie, who’s just waiting for more information. “My friend is, um...My friend Sophie?”
Allie nods, smiling gently, and like...That’s what makes Katie cry, okay? Allie’s literally the best and it’s not like that’s a new realization, or whatever, but the fact that this is all just fine and there’s not a single ounce of judgement on her face feels like a lot. Any time she’s thought about telling someone about what’s going on with her, this is literally the best case scenario of any reaction she’d get, and the fact that Allie’s living up to that expectation is sort of killing her.
“Are you okay?” Allie asks, and that is just filled with so much care.
“Yeah. I’m...I mean, she kissed me back.” Allie’s pressing her lips together like she doesn’t want to smile too widely. “I just...it’s a lot. I don’t know what it means. I don’t want to deal with all this shit, and then like, mom, and...I dunno. I’m literally just rambling now. Sorry.”
“First of all, don’t apologize for anything,” Allie says. Katie nods and wipes her face. “I also think you don’t have to tell anyone until and unless you want to. And if the only person you tell is me, that’s fine, too.”
Smirking, completely as a way of overcompensating, Katie says, “Is that your way of saying you won’t tell him?”
Allie laughs softly. “I absolutely won’t.”
Katie believes her.
“I just, like…” She pauses, collects her thoughts. Allie waits, and then stops walking when Katie does. They turn to look at each other. It feels important. “I thought I knew who I was, you know?”
“Sure.”
“And now like, what does any of this say about me?”
“Oh my god. Katie.” Allie sort of breathes it all out, and Katie thinks she sort of loves the way Allie’s making it sound like everything’s going to be fine. “This doesn’t change the kind of person you are. And fuck anyone who thinks it does.”
Without really thinking twice, she throws her arms around Allie, feels a cold beer bottle against her back, and laughs a little about how stupid she’s being. She thinks she really just needed to hear it from someone.
As a complete fucking joke, she says, “Is your sister single?” and Allie laughs hard and pulls away and then they walk back to the house.
Katie feels a million times better already. Harry’s sleeping on the couch when they walk back in, the television still on in front of him.
Katie sits down on his stomach, which makes him gasp and push at her and she’s laughing her ass off and Allie’s just watching, sipping her beer, smiling at them.
… … …
Sometimes she and Allie FaceTime just the two of them, when Harry’s not around. Katie likes it a lot. Allie’s important to her. And during the school year, when Katie’s trying to balance everything and needs advice on how to do it, she knows she can talk to either of them about it.
Also, when she reads a book for her elective that she thinks Allie will like, she texts the name of it and Allie, excitedly, says she’s already read it and then they set up a time to talk about it.
Harry’s in the background cooking something and interrupting the conversation regularly, but Allie doesn’t leave the kitchen and Katie likes that it feels a little like they’re all hanging out together.
… … ...
The only reason she really knows about the ring is because she hears him talking to the insurance company on the phone, and he says, “Two carats,” as she passes his room at the beach house, and okay, yeah, she stops and listens to the rest because interesting.
This weekend won’t be the first time their families are getting together, obviously. They did this over a weekend last summer, too. And there’ve been lots of dinners and stuff before that. And it’s fine, or whatever. Allie’s family is kind of awesome, which isn’t surprising at all. Katie’s just like, kind of bored by the idea of spending yet another weekend with a bunch of people all trying to impress one another.
The knowledge that there’s a ring makes things interesting, though, doesn’t it?
She tries really hard to keep her mouth shut about it.
No, that’s fully a lie.
As soon as he’s off the phone, she walks into his room and demands, “Let me see it.”
His face goes all pale and he’s absolutely panicked when he says, “What?” Katie leans her shoulder against the wall and tilts her head. “You’re a shit disturber.”
“Duh,” she says, and he reaches into his pants pocket (why is he carrying this thing around?) and pulls out the box. He hands it to her and she flips the top back, and, “Holy shit.”
She doesn’t know what she was expecting, honestly. Maybe she would’ve been this struck by any two carat, shiny, diamond ring set in gold. But this one is like, super gorgeous.
Harry’s just looking at her, then back at the ring, with this stupid smile on his face like he knows exactly how well he’s done picking this out for Allie. It’s perfect. For some reason, it’s only this exact moment that she realizes just how good they are for each other. Like, she’s obviously been peripherally aware of it. They’ve been together for five years at this point. And shit. That makes her feel old, so she can’t imagine how they feel.
It just feels really like, serious. She’s holding a diamond ring in her hand that she knows the price of because he’d said it on the phone and like. Damn.
“What if she says no?” she asks, just to be a jerk. Harry literally laughs and takes the ring back, turns and tucks it into his bag. Like it’s inconceivable that Allie will say no.
Which like. Accurate, but.
“No one else knows,” he tells her.
Oh shit. Okay.
“Are you gonna ask her this weekend?”
Because honestly, it feels like something Allie absolutely wouldn’t want. Like, a big spectacle or whatever. That’s not her style.
Harry’s shaking his head. “No, I just picked it up on the way here.” Katie nods, and this feels weird. But it makes sense, since Allie’s with her family and they’re coming in tonight. “What’re you thinking?”
Katie shrugs, grins. “Thinking you’re a lucky guy,” she answers, and he laughs like he knows. “I’m happy for you.” These moments between them aren’t exactly rare, but it’s been a while. “Should we hug?”
She’s totally joking, smiling at him, and he lets out a laugh and comes towards her and puts his arms around her shoulders.
“I’m weirdly glad you’re the first one to find out,” he says, and it could land like an insult, but it doesn’t.
“Congrats, or whatever. Or should I save it til she’s actually wearing it?” He chuckles again, pulls away and puts a hand through his hair. “Wanna get lunch?”
He nods, grabs his phone, and she makes him pay for her chicken and waffles from the new fancy brunch spot in town. He doesn’t complain. She didn’t think he would.
… … ...
Her mom buys her the loft in Boston because it’s like, what she does. She brags about owning four properties, though Katie knows the deed to the DC one is in Harry’s name, and she knows he and Allie are considering selling and moving into a row house, or something else with more space. Why two people need more space is beyond her, but also is not her business. Her mom says something about planning for the future and Katie doesn’t want to make a face, but she also can’t picture her brother as like, someone’s dad. She’s also only 21 and feels very much too young for the responsibilities of being an aunt. They’re not even married yet, not that that matters to her in the slightest. She’s trying to imagine their mom’s reaction if Allie got pregnant or whatever before they sign a marriage certificate, and it’s fucking comical.
He comes to visit her, which like. He says it’s for work, or something, but she doesn’t buy it. So he’s got meetings and stuff at the Boston office of his firm, but that seems secondary.
He makes fun of her for how she’s decorated her place, and she sticks her middle finger up and asks if he wants to stay in a hotel instead if he’s gonna be an asshole. Honestly, he probably should. He’s on the couch here, because she doesn’t have an extra bedroom. The fact that he doesn’t even complain lets her know he’s definitely here to see her, okay? It’s science.
She tends to spread her books out on the table when she needs to study. Harry comes in with a pizza and a bottle of wine and asks her if school’s more important than eating shitty pizza with him.
“Yes, absolutely,” she says, not even looking up from her books. Seriously, the semester is almost over and she needs to do well on like, everything. Always.
He pushes one book aside and sets the box down, then a glass for her and one for him.
God, he’s so annoying.
“What even is this?”
Katie sighs, looks up at him. Ugh, she really wants this wine, but she also has to study. “You wouldn’t understand. You’re just a lawyer. This is smart people stuff.” He snorts, which is like, so stupid and undignified and he probably hates it. But then he’s also eating a gross ass slice of pizza, and wiping his fingers on a piece of paper towel, so. “What do you want?”
She’s laughing. He’s just staring at her.
“Entertain me! When’s the last time we hung out just us?”
She wants to answer that it was probably before she started med school, but.
“Oh, my god. Are you so boring and without personality that you need someone to pander to your every need?” He chews obnoxiously as he grins. Okay, fuck it. That pizza smells good and she’d rather drink wine than read. “If I fail, I’m blaming you when mom asks what happened.”
“Deal.”
So yeah, they stay up too late drinking and listening to music and he pairs with her Google Home, which is annoying because he keeps kicking her off the speaker and playing from his Spotify as if he fucking lives here, or something. Anyway, when they’re a little drunk and it’s like, midnight, they FaceTime Allie, who tells them they’re awful and asks why Harry’s being a bad influence. Katie legit thinks sometimes that Allie’s totally tamed him, or something. She definitely thinks she’s the wild one these days. And she’s the one with her nose in books most of the time. So what does that say about him? Allie says goodnight and Katie rolls her eyes at how soft and dumb he sounds when he says it back.
She asks him questions about the wedding, because that’s happening this summer, and he tells her his entire job right now is to make sure their parents don’t turn it into some big, tacky affair because that’s not what he and Allie want at all.
“Just elope,” she says, because like, who cares? Honestly. “Then the party can be whatever. You’ll have done the actual thing the way you’ve wanted.”
He’s like, suspiciously quiet and cagey, not making eye contact and just takes a sip of his wine, and Katie narrows her eyes at him. When he finally looks up at her, she grins and tilts her head questioningly. And then waits.
“You can’t fucking tell anyone,” he insists lowly, as if she’ll find it threatening, or something. Her jaw drops and her eyes go wide and he looks at her like he already regrets even… “Katie. Katherine. Promise.”
She holds out her pinky like she used to do when she was a kid, and he laughs and hooks his together with hers.
“What did you do?” she asks, though she’s pretty freaking certain she already knows the answer.
“City hall,” he says, and then he’s smiling because of course he is, and he pulls out his phone, shows her some photos from the day. He’s in a suit and Allie’s in a pale pink dress with her hair curling all pretty around her face.
Katie snatches his phone away, zooms in. Allie’s engagement ring sits next to a gold band, and she’s holding the lapel of his jacket, and his hand’s sitting on her waist, a gold band on his finger, too. He’s not wearing one now, which makes sense if this is all a big fucking secret.
“Holy shit,” she mutters, then looks up at him, and he laughs. “Holy shit!”
“I’m gonna have to tell Allie you figured it out.” Katie laughs, manages to set her wine glass down on the table before she falls over a little on the sofa. This is fucking classic.
“You seriously think she hasn’t told Cassandra?”
Harry grins. “Guess my sister’s smarter than hers.”
Katie feels fucking dumb for that stupid sentence putting tears in her eyes, but here they are. Harry doesn’t say anything about it, but just reaches over and messes up her hair like he used to do when they were younger.
… … …
She plays along, standing up next to Harry as his ‘best woman’, or something like this, during this ceremony. They’d managed to keep it small. They do it in a park in town not far from Libby and Janine’s house. Apparently there’s some meaning there, but Katie can’t keep all the details straight. All she cares about is that it happens, honestly. She and Cassandra are up at the altar or whatever, and then there’re vows, which are short, and then there’s a reception at the beach house, just like their mom was hoping would happen.
Katie honestly thinks it’s messed up that anyone thought these two would get married literally anywhere else. Well, do the celebration anywhere else. The more she thinks about it, the more fitting it is that they said fuck everyone and went to city hall on a Tuesday morning in DC.
Katie brought Olivia with her, which was not at all even a thing worth discussing. They’ve been together six months now and it’s serious and Katie’s like, in love, and stuff. Allie likes her a lot. Harry likes her a lot. Olivia is gorgeous and super smart and getting her MBA, and she looks like, ridiculously good in her floral jumpsuit with her brown skin glowing in the early evening sun. She’s talking to Cassandra and Katie’s drinking champagne and watching.
There’s a pair of arms around her from behind, and she laughs and turns, but knows it’s Allie before she even looks.
“I love you like a sister, you know that?” Allie asks, her chin against Katie’s shoulder. Katie’s a little taller, so this is kind of hilarious.
“I know,” she says, and it comes out a little choked, which is stupid. “I love you, too.”
Then Harry’s there, one arm around either of them, and Allie’s hand slides up his chest and Katie’s about to ask when dinner’s gonna be served when he says, “Olivia’s awesome.”
Katie laughs, “I know,” again. This is dumb. It’s not even the first time they’ve met her girlfriend. Then she clocks the grin on his lips, knows he’s absolutely up to no good, and narrows her eyes at him. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” he says, and Allie’s smiling next to him. “Just mentioned what you said yesterday morning when we were making breakfast.”
Katie crosses her arms. Olivia was in the shower and their mom had said something about Olivia being so smart and generous. Katie had maybe said a few words about…
Okay, whatever.
“I don’t need you to play wingman,” she tells him, because like, she isn’t stupid with her feelings the way he was when he and Allie were just starting out again. No, Olivia knows exactly how Katie feels about her, and vice versa.
“I dunno,” he says, then slips his hand into Allie’s and they’re probably gonna go mingle, or something. “She seemed to appreciate it.”
She is absolutely not going to thank him.
“Stop trying to make everyone else a sappy asshole like you are!” she calls after him. Some nearby guests laugh. Harry throws up his middle finger and their mom hisses his name, and Katie thinks today might be something close to perfect.